Going On Pinterest And Commenting “hmm… I Find This Really.. Pinteresting…!” On Every Single

huuuuge fan of little phrases you can add to the end of your sentences just for fun. "if you even care" and "btw" and "I fear" have done sooo much for my vocabulary. if you even care

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

very funny that the symptoms of blood loss include making you more uncoordinated and cognitively impaired. look at me i'm so cute and helpless and fucking dying.

fuck theyre not kidding

why'd the escapees decorate the walls like a Left4Dead level

listen. clutching your stupid head to my chest and stroking you. you're not a bad dog. idc what they told you, they were wrong. you're a good, sweet, brave little puppy and you've experienced things that nobody should ever go through. i'm so proud of you for making it this far and still having a heart overflowing with this much kindness. i love you so much.

pirate voice: there's a beautiful person out there reading this post, I can feel it in me bones

mailman voice: I'm curious, what did you make me sound like?

*tugs you around by our red string of fate like you’re a dog on a leash*