Its So Funny To Me Seeing People Talking About De Vries Like He's A Teenage But In Fact He's 28 Years

bring me the boy. yes. The boy who is Full of Love and Joy

Ok, hear me out Franco Colapinto needs a permanent seat next year for the sole reason that the grid needs a 2nd yapper. Dude arrives for his first ever f1 race and already establishing himself as a 2nd yapper to Max Verstappen's master yapper status.

Permanent Yappee: Charles Leclerc

✨ KOPA TROPHY WINNERS FROM FC BARCELONA ✨

🟡 2021 — pedri gonzález, 19.

🟡 2022 — pablo gavi, 18.

🟡 2024 — lamine yamal, 17.

NOT CHARLES PULLING A MAX CARD AND SAYING "WE ARE GETTING TO THE HOT ONES" FULL ON GIGGLES

sorry every time norstappen have W2W action i remember why i was a lestappen fan. i'm moved again. the thing about lestappen is that. max literally will race people differently. he goes over the limit with lewis because a part of him still thinks that lewis is driving a rocketship mercedes, that he has to drive crazily against lewis to even have a shot at a win. because in his head it's 2020 and he can't just sit behind like a grandma. because it's 2021 and every point counts. because lewis is maybe the greatest of all time and max knows what it takes to beat the greatest of all time. with lando he literally knows exactly what to do because lando does the same thing every time, because he never tries anything new, because lando never Bites. he Barks but he never bites, almost never seems to want it just as much as he's afraid to lose it, so he'll never let himself have it, and max knows just how to respond, and will respond, as long as he has the car and the pace to do so. but with charles. max will race exactly on the limit, not over or under, but on it. whether that's because they spent a whole childhood racing against each other or because their specific driving styles just happen to match each other or because they just have so much respect in one another that they can drive exactly to the limits of their car, never over or under, and trust that that the other will match them - to drive precisely on the limit.

hey wait im also new to f1 but i saw the other ask and i was curious abt what you meant when you said no one will ever do it like nico rosberg?? also retiring after your first championship win is insane lmao what a power move

nico rosberg is just. he’s insane. he’s cunty. he’s wonderful. he possesses sass and audacity unlike any other. we unfortunately do not have time to get into his whole story (my lunch break is only so long) but here’s some highlights:

-technically he’s a nepo baby. his dad, keke rosberg, won the world championship in 1982 and they remain one of the Few father son duos to both win a world championship (don’t ask me who the others are idk but i know they exist)

-he and lewis hamilton met when they were kids in the late 90s sometime and were gokarting teammates at some point in i think the early 2000s? (not fact checking i don’t have the time rn) and they were Besties. they’ve talked about this before, mostly in older interviews, but the gist is that both of them were outcasts from the other karting kid in opposite ways (nico was the son of a champion and rich and lewis was from nothing and pretty much the only poc most of the time) and that drew them together and they were Menaces according to legend. everything was a competition and they trashed hotel rooms and ate pizza and ice cream and kellogg frosties and went to greece and dreamed of being in f1 together

-nico signed with williams in 2006. his teammate was mark webber. and nico had long flowing blonde hair (this is important). he crashed at one race and mark webber said “britney’s in the wall” cementing the nickname britney, like britney spears. jenson button (another driver) said later on that they called nico britney because he was “very pretty” (do with that what you will)

-he was just. insane. cunty. constantly looked like a european bond villain. wore god awful shoes. whole bit. once he stayed in his car when it got craned off the track cause he didn’t want his hair to get wet. which is insane cause he’s wearing a helmet it would have gotten equally as not wet had he gotten out.

-anyway, lewis made it to f1 in 2007 and they had their first podium together i think that year (?) and it’s cute and fun and oh boy you’re not ready for what these two have coming

-lewis won the championship in 2008 (but he almost won in 2007, his rookie year) at mclaren.

-nico went to mercedes when they recentered the grid in 2010. his teammate was michael schumacher, who was fresh out of retirement. (yes the michael schumacher, 7x world champion). michael fucked with nico endlessly according to legend, including making him piss in a bucket pre race because he would hog the bathroom until the last possible second. nico still out preformed him most of the time, and the car was mid as hell.

-michael retired part 2 at the end of 2012. and who replaced him but lewis hamilton

-so the two of them were teammates again. the cards were absolute Stacked against them. because yes they were besties yes they’d known eachother forever but the first person you’re judged against is your teammate. and you’re trying to beat your teammate. and lewis already had a championship. nico wanted a championship.

-2013 was relatively chill. the car was kinda mid. they did well but not fantastic and did some fuck ass pr (highly reccomend looking those videos up)

-2014 they had a car that could win. and they started fighting eachother for wins. they played all kinds of mind games against eachother and withheld stats and nico ran illegal engine modes (supposedly) and lewis said they were no longer friends after nico supposedly wrecked his monaco qualifying one year but they claimed they still supported eachother and were friends off track. lewis won in 2014 and in 2015. but nico was right behind him and he wanted to win a championship, he didn’t want to be a number 2 driver

-so in 2016 nico did some insane shit. he stopped sleeping with his wife so that he could get better sleep or something, he did weird things to cut weight, he basically did everything and then some to win. and then he did. he won the championship and then at the prize giving ceremony announced he was retiring. he didn’t tell lewis this.

more after i get off work :)

if i was charles, i would simply pull the 'but you promised 15-20 years of us racing together' card at max everytime he mentioned retirement. that + the puppy eyes would work 100%

i hate perez getting dotd, he has a fucking rocketship, and its HIS FAULT he qualified bad. of course he will get to the podium IN A FUCKING ROCKETSHIP. he shouldnt be getting rewards for qualifying shit every single race week

"watching sports is so fun!" for YOU maybe. me, im about to slam my head through a brick wall over here