Mea Culpa (matt Murdock) - Series Masterlist

Combustion (Bfd!Joel Miller x F!Reader)

a/n: so here's some angst?? uh idk i was just chatting with myself in the mirror as one does and this idea popped into my head so have at it i guess

Word Count: 3K OOPS

Warnings: Lots of angst! Drunk Joel, mean Joel, nice age gap (reader is senior in college, joel is presumably in his 40s), like a singular sentence of masturbation, reader is best friend's with Sarah, jealous Joel (but not of another man), lots of tears!

Joel has always been there. 

Ever present, always constant, like air. And the older you get, the more you think he might be a necessity to living in the same way air is. The older he gets, the more you think he might feel the same way.

But if he’s air, then you are fire.

The way you feed into each other can be explosive.

And not always in a good way.

It had started less than a year ago. The summer between your junior and senior year of college. For some reason, last summer…you had grown. You weren’t a kid, or even a teenager anymore, you were 21 and coming into your own womanhood in a way that made Joel look at you a little longer, made his hand brush yours a little more directly.

You pretended like you didn’t notice, like you didn’t purposefully come over to “hang out with Sarah,” just to sprawl out on a pool chair in the smallest bikini you could dig out of your closet. Like you didn’t get up in the middle of the night during sleepovers dressed only in a large shirt and too-small shorts to get a glass of water.

Like you didn’t linger outside his door, listening to his soft pants and moans when he touched himself, whispering your name to the comfortable, dark solace of his bedroom.

Joel knew. You knew. And it all came to a head on a picnic blanket in his backyard under the stars one hot, sticky summer night, providing with one another a kind of passion you didn’t understand yet.

And it continued- it has continued to the present. And now? Now you are preparing for the finals week of your senior year, prepping for graduation and the aftermath of getting that degree. You are crashing at home for a long weekend to build yourself up for that final push. Studying with Sarah and getting to be with Joel made any anxiety dissipate under the soft spring sun.

But that was just for you. For Joel, having you here made things so much worse. He could never think straight when he was around you. It’s not that he blamed you exactly, but it was an unfortunate side effect of your presence. And…he felt inferior to you. 

He didn’t go to college. He went to trade school, and although he is certified and very smart in ways you aren’t. There will always be a part of him that envies your bright-eyed tenacity, and your ability to pursue what you want to go after. He knows he has grit and gumption; after all, he made a life for himself and helped Tommy out numerous times. He was the one with the initiative to go to trade school and start working as a contractor, he was the one that got married and had a child. He was also the one whose wife left him, leaving him a single father. But still, he was capable of providing for Sarah.

But sometimes that jealousy seeps through. Hits him where it shouldn’t. Usually through the bottle. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was another late study session at the Millers’. You were gathering up your materials, putting your pens away and stacking your journals atop your computer. You gathered them to your chest and said goodnight to Sarah, closing her bedroom door on the way out. You figured you should say goodbye to Joel, too. 

You found him in the backyard, where he usually likes to hang out if there isn’t some sports game on. He’s nursing a bottle of whiskey, straight, not a lite beer he would usually drink. It makes your brow furrow in light worry, but you know better than to speak up about it. After all, you are half his age, and nobody would want to get lectured by a college student who thinks they know more. 

“Hey baby,” you say softly, grazing a hand on his shoulder as you smile softly at him. 

He turns around abruptly, startled by the materialization of the very person who has taken up a permanent residence in what is starting to feel like his very core. He doesn’t really directly address you, just kinda grunts and nods in your general vicinity, only worsening that worried feeling that is gathering in the pit of your stomach, a sore replacement for the usual fluttering feeling he gives you.

“Uh…is everything okay? Rough day at work?” You ask timidly, tilting your head.

“No.” Finally, he speaks up. There is a gruffness in your voice that you have never heard, certainly never directed towards you. “And if there was, I wouldn’t tell you about it.”

Your head rears back as if you had been slapped. It was a weird dig, making you all the more confused. “Okay, first of all, rude. That’s not how you talk to people, least of all me. And it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me something, but you don’t need to address me so callously like I did something to you.” An uncomfortable passage of silence. “Did I? Do something to you? If I did, can you tell me, so I can fix it? You know I would never mean to hurt you-”

“Jesus, this isn’t about you!” Joel exclaims, standing up. Not everything is! But you’ve got it drilled down in your head that the whole fucking neighborhood, the whole fucking world revolves around you. It doesn’t,” Joel spits rudely, looking at you with spite. His words are slurred, an obvious indicator that he is, in fact, drunk. 

But drunk words are sober thoughts, aren’t they?

“Alright, that’s it. You’re drunk,” you say dismissively, biting back the stinging tears and swallowing down hard on the lump in your throat as you wrench the bottle out of his hand, setting it on the back counter jetting from the wall of the house.

Joel starts to protest, but just steps closer, making you step back instinctively, your neck craning to look up at him. He speaks up again, only twisting the knife in your heart. “When are you gonna stop fucking acting like a know it all? You aren’t my therapist. You aren’t my wife. You have no right to come out here and be all sweet on me and try to right my wrongs. It isn’t your place. Find it.”

And in that moment, Joel sobers instantly. Because of the look on your face. Because of a realization on his part that was long overdue. One that should have come with the changes last summer, but instead lingered in the shadows of something unspoken until this moment.

You are clutching your journals and laptop, looking at him with the scowl of a scorned child, but that look morphs into one of a disappointed adult. Of a hurt lover. Of a broken friend. There is an air of broken promises and false hope that shimmers around the little bubble the two of you had blown, and that he had popped.

In that moment, you grow up in his eyes.

But you’re fighting in your head. Do you walk away, let him sober up, and try again in a few days? Or do you fucking let it rip? 

No. If Joel isn’t going to be the adult, you have to be. You hug your belongings to your chest once again and turn on your heel, hopping off the deck and heading to the gate, your hand reaching out wordlessly.

“Wait. I-fuck, I’m sorry. I love you, you know that,” Joel calls out haphazardly.

In that shitty excuse for an apology, you break, with no regard for whoever heels. “Say you love me,” you say in a small voice, not turning around yet.

“What? I love you…?” He says in confusion.

“No. Say you love me and mean it, Joel Miller. Say you love me like you haven’t been fucking your daughter’s best friend for less than a year. Say you love me like you actually want to be with me. Say you love me like you didn’t just tell me to find my place. Say you love me like you actually love me!” You shout, your voice raising more and more with each statement, turning around and gesturing towards him. Joel pales at your outburst. You sink back into your own skin. “No…fuck you. I hope that you learn to be comfortable with the man you are so that you can love someone else the way they deserve to be. Cause it isn’t fucking going to be me.”

\--/

He’s at your graduation. It’s uncomfortable, the stiff side hug and the smile on your face that doesn’t quite reach the eyes in all the photos. You two barely exchange words, but you try your hardest to not let it bother you.

Your diploma is your achievement, and nothing that happened between you two could dampen your moment. You wouldn’t let him steal that away from you.

Now that you are done with college, you are back with your family for a little bit longer as you try to get your feet under you. With nothing else to distract you, yeah, it is even worse. Joel is right across the street, and of course you still want to be with Sarah. But to be in his house, to be in his presence, to constantly smell him and have him in your senses so often is quite maddening. 

He’s tried to talk to you before, tried to grab you by the arm and pull you aside for the chat, but you just wrench away, shoot him a look of pure betrayal and disgust, and he’ll let you go for a little while longer.

He doesn’t know if he can keep doing this, though. You don’t either

If he’s air and you are fire, you need him to keep yourself ignited. You were a spark before, but he helped you become a roaring tangle of dazzling brilliance.

He had dulled your light when those words were spoken.

In your solitude, without him to attest to anything, you wondered if any of it even happened at all. Was it some prolonged fantasy of your love-muddled brain? A crush for your best friend’s dad gone too far in some sick maladaptive twist?

You know that’s obviously not the case, but any option seems better than how it had ended. The only reason you knew you weren’t crazy was the necklace that you refused to take off. Joel had got it for you, before the two of you were even an item, but late enough where you were an adult, and that connection was beginning to take shape. It was small; 14K gold arranged in a teardrop strand around a small diamond. A gift for you when you first went to college. He had given it to you with a note: “Find your fire and do whatever it is that wakes you up, whatever it is that makes you feel alive. Do what inspires you, what moves you, what makes your heart race. Do the things that ignite passion into your bones. Chase your dreams, follow your heart, capture the moments that take your breath away. Do not settle for mediocrity, you have a fire in your soul and a burning in your heart. Do not let fear, convenience or comfort put out those flames. Hold on to what lights you up — what sets your soul on fire. Let go of what harms you and blind them with your light. You are capable and deserving of magic, of love, of the extraordinary — you just have to believe it. Discover what sets a spark in you, follow its flames and light a fire so big that nothing can extinguish it — there is enough fire inside you to burn brighter than the sun. -Always in Your Corner, Joel Miller”

Sitting on your bed, you clutch that note to your chest, quietly sobbing as you feel the necklace on your collarbones, heavy as a boulder. In that vulnerable moment, you don’t know how you got here.

On his front porch, in gym shorts and a tank top, your hair held up in a claw clip, and your cheeks streaked with tears. He’s standing in the doorway in complete shock, messy hair, shorts, and a gray t-shirt over him as he stares at you. He’s saying your name, asking if you are okay, but you are just trying to gather your thoughts. 

“You-you said to not settle for mediocrity. That I should hold onto what sets my soul on fire. That was fucking you, Joel! You were the one that lit me up! It was always you! And I can’t fucking sleep, or-or eat knowing that I can’t walk past you without feeling like I’m getting the wind knocked out of me! All because of what, you-you got drunk and pissed at me? Why? Why did you do that? Why could you not handle me in that one moment?” You finally burst out, the tears coming back in full throttle as you thrust the note into his hands, up against his chest. You want to hit and kick like a child throwing a tantrum, but refrain, instead just crying into the back of your hand.

Joel wants to reach out. WIth his words, with his hands. He wants to comfort you, but he doesn’t know how far he can gets before he breaks a precarious boundary with you. His warm chocolate eyes scan over the note, remembering how he wrote it with such fondness for you in mind. It hasn’t weaned in the slightest.

“You don’t deserve me. I’m twice your age, I’m a contractor with chronic back pain. I would just hold you back from reaching your full potential, because you are capable of so much more than I could ever give you,” Joel tries to reason with furrowed brows.

“No, no! I did not come over here for you to stand there and tell me why we don’t work! I don’t care! I’m here because I want to be here, and I always have been. I’m not dumb, Joel! You know that. Don’t think I haven’t overthought all of this, considered every way our relationship could go. I’m prepared. I’m ready. I don’t need to listen to you try to give excuses for your emotional insubordination!” You exclaim, pointing a finger down to the ground, a more distinguished way of stomping your foot.

Joel is struck dumb by your outburst. Mostly because…you’re right. He has nothing more to say, no more poor excuses to offer you. He has to own up for his actions, something he has not done in…a while.

“Okay…you’re right. But please…can we sit down? I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” he says, gesturing to the porch swing. You sit on the farthest sides you can, too scared to touch each other yet. You are trying to calm your ragged breathing, to get your emotions under control. “I know there are people out there smarter than me. Of course there are! I’m just some man in Texas; I know the world is wide. But I didn’t expect to find a genius so close…across the street…in my bed. With me. I…want to be the man that can help you become what you most want to be. I don’t want to be the one that gridlocks you into some kind of lifestyle just so you can fit into how I live. You are made for so much more than this town, more than me. You’re made of stronger stuff, smarter stuff. And yeah, it makes me a little embarrassed when you go on those wonderful rants about something I’ll just never understand, but I sure as hell would like to listen to you talk about it,” Joel explains, looking down at his hands, wishing he could take yours.

You tilt your head, wiping your final tears away. “You’ve got some idea of what a genius is. Joel…I understand what I’m doing with you. I like being with you. If I felt trapped or held back or restricted, then I would do something about it. You sell yourself so painfully short. You are more than you know. What you just described, listening to me talk about stuff you don’t understand, I feel that way all the time around you! You can talk about cars and materials and power tools and what have you for ages and I will sit there and listen to all of it because you understand all of it in such a masterful way I never could!” You inch closer, feeling more comfortable. “It’s okay to not be the best at everything. We excel in different areas, but that doesn’t make us incompatible. You have to stop self-sabotaging when both of us are perfectly comfortable,” she finishes off quietly, slipping a hand in his.

“God, baby, it killed me to stay away from you at graduation. To watch your big moment, all of that hard work paying off as you strutted across that stage and got your degree, I was a mess. I was bawling down there with your family, and they were so goddamn confused! I just wanted to hug you, and kiss you, and tell you that I am so proud of my sweet, smart girl. Because I am. No…no drunk, jealous bout of rage could ever really take away from that. And I’m sorry that it did. I’m sorry that I said all of that shit and hurt you in just about every way I shouldn’t. I can’t take back what I said. But I can fix what I say and do going forward,” Joel says with a nod, looking up at you dutifully, pursing his lips.

You nod, grateful for the apology as you slide closer, your fingers interlacing as you lean your head on his shoulder. The night is quiet and warm, like it was when you first got together. There’s crickets, and the coo of a dove far off. There’s still just a glimmer of light in the sky despite it being late. Good ol’ Texas sunsets; they last for hours.

Kind of like you and Joel. Bright, dazzling, something truly special to behold, and that could last forever.

FLOWERS

Hades!Bucky x Persephone!Reader

Bucky watched as Y/n laid in the flowers, the soft light from the sunset giving her the glow that the underworld had taken from her.

Her hair, once nice and tidy this morning with no tangles, now had small knots and flowers braided into the strands.

The god sat a few feet away, admiring how his lover twisted the flowers in her fingers. He let out a soft sigh and made his way over to her.

He stood over her, carding his fingers through her hair. "It's time to go now, flower," a soft frown made its way to her face.

"Can't we stay a little longer? Please Bucky?" She looked at him with pleading eyes as she begged.

"No, we need to get home now. I have some important work to get done." He told her, holding his hand out for the girl.

A frown made it's way to her face, upsetting the god as he hated seeing her face in such a way. "But Bucky, you could always finish it later! Are you sure we can't stay just a little bit longer?"

"No. We are leaning now." He said sternly, making the girl jump slightly and her frown deepen. He took a deep breath and leaned down to her height. "Besides, Cerberus probably misses you by now."

She didn't want Cerberus to be lonely, but she also didn't want to leave the flowers. She looked out to the lake and sighed.

"Alright, but can we come back tomorrow? Please?" She looked at him with her big doe eyes. The god of the underworld sighed and pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

With a sigh and a nod of his head, he slipped his hand into hers and lifted her from her spot in the grass. "We can, as long you promise to leave now with no more arguments."

She smiled brightly as she wrapped her arms around the king. Bucky scooped her up into his arms and started making his way back to their home.

"Wait! I almost forgot something!" She moved around in his arms and he carefully set her back on the earths floor. 

The king watched as her bare feet ran over to the spot she'd previously occupied, leaning down and picking something from the tall grass.

She turned back towards him, hiding something behind her back as she quickly made her way back to him. He raised his eyebrow questionably.

"What do you have?" He peeked behind her to see what was in her hands. The Gods eyes widened as she placed a small flower crown upon his head, moving a few strands of his hair so it'd sit perfectly upon his head.

"There, now we can go home," she smiled up at him and slipped her hand into his. With a kiss to her forehead, he slipped his hand into hers and lead her back to the underworld.

let me know if you want more hades!bucky and what you want to see

- also posted to my wattpad, @ pwettylouis

Today we won, Joseph Quinn playing "Master of Puppets".

headcanon; Eddie is definitely the type of boyfriend who would just pick you up and toss you over his shoulder and carry you around for no reason at all except to hear you shriek and laugh and to low-key keep his hand on your ass

life’s too short to be embarrassed you read x reader fan fiction. live ur life and date as many imaginary boys as u want

people of color will always ALWAYS deserve better and more. they’re allowed to feel and say whatever they want and act however, i will forever stand ten toes down on this!!

Stop Bullying People for Liking Things

I'm so done with getting bullied for just enjoying something. This video put all of my thoughts into one video. Thank you. Holy Shit.

drunken proposals

pairing: bucky x reader

summary: too much alcohol leads to proposals

-short little drabble bc I should be studying but I'd rather do something else

___________________________________________

You don't remember how much you've drank but you're sure it's a lot. Everything is becoming so blurry. But apparently, being drunk doesn't mean you can't appreciate a good-looking man.

Bucky doesn't know how long he's been at this party or how much he had to drink, but he does know there's a pretty woman across the room he wants to talk to. He doesn't remember when he first saw you, but he knows you've had his attention from first glance.

"Steve, don't ya think she's so stunning? Ya think she's single?" Steve looks at his best friend laughing.

"You right she probably taken. A doll like that must have someone, so stupid of me." Bucky sighs sadly sipping on his drink.

"Why don't you go ask and find out?" Steve rubs Buckys shoulder.

"Hessopretty. Wantmyhusvand to look like that." you said your words slurred due to the alcohol. Your friend laughs looking where you pointed.

"Imma go and ask him to marry me." you say standing up, your friend catching you since you could barely stand up straight.

"Marriage, huh already?" your friend jokes and you nod confidently shaking her off.

"She coming over quick act normal." Bucky pushes Steve and straightens up almost falling off his chair. Steve catches him and let's out a chuckle.

"Hey! You!" Bucky looks around and points at himself when he hears the pretty woman point and yell at him.

"Yes, you!" You stumble a little when you reach the gorgeous man who catches you. You fall right into his muscular chest. Usually, you would ask for permission before touching anyone, but now you couldn't help yourself so your hands wonder and squeeze the mans chest, and then arms. One feels different than the other, but strong nonetheless.

"Not that I mind that a pretty doll like you is touching me like this but would love to know your name. Bucky finds it cute how you immediately put your hands up and tell him your name.

"Bucky." He introduces himself to you.

"THAT'S A SEXY NAME LIKE YOU!" Bucky backs away a little because you were yelling, he doesn't know why he could hear you the music isn't that loud.

"I know we jus met but got a question for you."

"MARRY ME?"

"MARRY ME?"

You and Bucky say at the same time, and then you both start laughing so hard you're holding on to each other.

"Great! We agree, let's talk wedding ideas!" You happily say, leading Bucky by the arm to dance with him. Bucky follows you like a lovesick puppy, excited to make plans with the most beautiful doll that's walking the earth.

"Should we tell them?" Steve nudges Sam.

"Tell them what?"

"That they've been married for 5 years???"

Sam shakes his head, taking out his phone to film you and Bucky trying to dance while you're absolutely wasted. He would use this video on the wedding you're planning currently but by tomorrow you'll probably come to your senses.

[The End]

hope you enjoyed <3

likes comments and reblogs are appreciated <3

Oooh, I hope you have so much fun abroad! :D

Okay dokey, here are my fluff ideas this time around:

-Reader gets made fun of for having a seemingly silly phobia, but Loki happens to share the phobia (like, think of something not a lot of people would be afraid of)

-Loki overhears Reader singing really well, but she also refuses to sing in front of people because she was humiliated last time she tried, so Loki eavesdrops until Reader finds him one day

-Just have Reader and Loki floating around Avengers Tower acting like Gomez and Morticia Addams for 500 words, bonus if they get frisky in a public space and Satchel!Steve makes a cameo

Fluff Drabble Marathon II A link to my Fluff Library is HERE Warnings: Some steamy content/references. Still fluff (w/c 550) A link to my regular Masterlist is HERE [18+]

Public Displays of Affection

The door to the conference room opened. He was late to Rogers 7am meeting, as usual.

“Laufeyson, take a seat” Rogers chided, sighing as the god gracefully took the spot you’d saved for him at the otherwise full table.

“My love” Loki murmured, ignoring Steve and raising the back of your hand to his lips.

He pressed a kiss firmly against your skin, making you shiver. “My goddess…” another kiss planted against your wrist, “my queen…” he bit your forearm gently, sucking the skin; those piercing eyes never leaving yours.

“Excuse me.” Wilson huffed, throwing his arms in the air, “Is there a damn orgy on the agenda this morning? I guess I missed that email, huh?”

You felt heat rising in your cheeks as you pulled your arm away from Loki’s grasp, glancing apologetically around the table.

“I fail to see why it is my concern that your midgardian customs do not allow for lovers to greet each other in a fitting manner” Loki purred to Wilson, his eyebrows raising haughtily.

“Hey, Loki” Natasha quipped, sliding her arm across the table and resting her head on her palm, “I was enjoying it, makes a change from Captain Dry over here and his droning. No offence, Cap.” she chuckled as Steve threw his hands in the air.

“What else you got in that suave-bank, Laufeyson?” she said coyly, wriggling her eyebrows. Loki’s lips curled in a knowing smile, enjoying the opportunity for mischief unfolding.

“Indeed, Romanoff…” he murmured, turning his sultry gaze back to you. You melted. He could make you forget everything. Everyone. It could be quite inconvenient.

“In that case...Y/N you look positively ravishing this morning. The angelic sight of you fresh from your bed, rested and untouched by the day makes me quiver with the urge to worship you.” He leant forward, brushing a strand of hair from your cheek and tucking it behind your ear.

Loki’s eyes danced with amusement as his velvet voice continued to radiate through the air. “And I shall do so slowly...purposefully...an unravelling of the adoring thoughts that have been marinating in my mind since yesterday evening...”

The sound of Clint theatrically yakking broke the moment. “Jesus, man...I’ve just had breakfast.”

“I think it’s sweet…” Wanda cooed, resting her chin in her hand, “makes a change from you guys bottling everything up…” her eyes travelled towards Vis, who gestured in bemusement to Scott beside him.

“Sweet?” Wilson’s eyes grew wide in disbelief, “I feel like I’m watchin’ a peep show right now.”

“What does this mean, this...‘bottling up’?” Vis murmured to Scott, as the man beside him shrugged. “Don’t look at me dude, I have no idea what’s happening” Lang murmured, rubbing his eyes.

Loki’s lips found your neck, murmuring sweet praises only audible to you as you giggled in spite of yourself. Nat and Wanda gave each other appreciative looks as the men around the table threw their gaze to the ceiling, one by one.

“Ok...I think we’re gonna take ten and re-visit the start time of this meeting once Loki and Y/N have had time to properly greet each other” Steve huffed, before striding dramatically out the door.

“Wait up man…” Wilson shouted, pushing himself from the table, followed by each member of the team in tandem.

The bustle of footsteps making their way towards the canteen echoed in the hallway as Loki’s lips found yours, pressing against them with the burning passion of a thousand suns.

“You continue to bewitch me, love” he murmured, peppering kisses along the line of your cheekbones, “never stop…”

“Loki this is torture...they think we’re ridiculous” you giggled, leaning into the pressure of his mouth on your neck.

“To live without your affections, my love...only that would be torture.” he whispered gently against the raised hairs of your skin, “let them talk. I care only for the words from your lips when you bend willingly against my touch...”

Loki’s smouldering gaze bore into you, raising your hand once again as his wet tongue pressed in a longing kiss to the underside of your wrist.

-

Reduced Fluff Tags

@lokischambermaid @lady-rose-moon @mochie85 @wheredafandomat @loopsisloops @theaudacitytowrite @holdmytesseract @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @lokikissesmyforehead @ladylovesloki @lollywritesstuff @sititran @holymultiplefandomsbatman @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @mcufan72 @nightshadelm @evelyn-kingsley @muddyorbs @123forgottherest @simplyholl @homesickcassie @ozymdias @xorpsbane @michelleleewise @vbecker10

We Aren’t Friends

A/N: ummm thank you so much for the amazing response to “Vanilla”!! I’m pretty certain it’s my most popular piece to date and seeing the response just makes me want to write even more. So please comment and reblog, because while likes are awesome, the reblogs boost visibility and the comments just make me happy 😂

Summary: you’re the good girl- good grades, well behaved, picture perfect princess- and you’ve been paired with the boy who you have nothing in common with for a school project. Eddie Munson was infamous and you stayed in completely different social circles. You always thought he hated you and your type until you saw him with Chrissy Cunningham. Why could he be friends with her and not with you? Why did you even care?

Pairing: Eddie x Fem!Reader

Warnings: jealousy?, mentions of drug use and bullying, no spoilers really

“Alright so meet with your partners to discuss your plans for the project going forward…and might I remind you, this is worth forty percent of your final grade,” you teacher told the class. You looked over at your partner- Eddie “the freak” Munson. He sent a wink your way and you sighed; this was going to be harder than you thought.

“Okay so I know you’re not really into the whole doing good in school thing so how about I just do the project and slap your name on it?” You suggested.

“While that is a tempting offer, sweetheart, I have a feeling our ever so observant teacher would notice if it doesn’t have my own personal touch,” he said, nodding over to your teacher who was already glaring at him.

“Fine, um, we could meet at the library right after school is over. I know nights don’t work for you because of your club.”

“You know about that?” He asked, a hopeful twinkle in his eyes.

“You’re not exactly shy about it, Munson,” you laughed. “So library? After school?”

“Works for me, gorgeous.” He winked at you again before grabbing his bag and leaving the room. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were actually looking forward to seeing him again.

Your life was incredibly dull in comparison to his. You were just different, and there was nothing wrong with that. But a part of you yearned for something more exciting. Maybe Eddie could at least provide some entertainment for a while.

You found yourself waiting at the library for almost 15 minutes before he sauntered in, smelling him before you even saw him. You looked up at him with a scowl but he looked like he didn’t care, which he probably didn’t.

“Well now I only have 45 minutes before I have to get going so just sit down and listen to my ideas. I’m still suggesting I do most of the work because it’s worth a bit part of our final grade and I need to nail this,” you rambled.

“Woah, woah, woah, calm down, sweetheart. I have a feeling you could flunk this project and still pass the class.” He sat down in the chair across from you with a smirk.

“Yes well I’d rather not flunk it and keep up with my good grades. I know you don’t give a shit-”

“The princess swears!? I never would’ve guessed!” The smile on Eddie’s face only grew when you rolled your eyes.

“Maybe your bad influence is rubbing off on me already,” you said with a small smile.

“Keep hanging with me, sweetheart, and I’ll completely ruin you.” You knew he meant it jokingly but you couldn’t stop your stomach from doing a flip.

So for the next week and a half you guys met after school in the library like clockwork. He promised to show up on time if you promised to listen to him talk about D&D from time to time. It wasn’t something you understood, but you liked the way he talked about it with passion.

He gave you music recommendations and you, in turn, shared notes with him for some other classes. You told him your favorite movies and rolled your eyes when he snickered at your choices.

Sometimes in class, he’d find you looking at him and he’d wink or just shoot you a smile. Once when he heard you giggle when he rolled his eyes at the teacher, he made it his mission the entire rest of the class to make you laugh. Everyone looked at you like you were crazy but the smile on Eddie’s face was worth it.

As you got to know him a little better, it stung a little more when you would hear the jocks picking on him in the halls or at lunch time. His eyes found yours one day in the lunch room and you sent him a sad smile. You could see the hint of pain in his eyes but he shrugged it away as if it was nothing.

You weren’t quite sure why you felt so sad and angry when you saw him being bullied; maybe it was the growing friendship between the two of you or maybe it was your own growing feelings for the man.

Either way, you decided to go over and check on him. Your own friends asked where you were going but you brushed them off, making your way across the cafeteria.

“Hey Eddie. I just wanted to say that those guys are absolute assholes and you shouldn’t listen to anything they say,” you said with sincerity. His club members looked between the two of you and you knew other people were staring as well. Eddie looked at you and coughed awkwardly.

“Uh thanks, (y/l/n).” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and looked around at the leering eyes of your fellow students.

“I guess I’ll see you later then?” You asked. He gave you a small nod before quickly walking off. You thought it was weird but maybe he was just upset from the bullies. You shrugged it off and grabbed your bag, heading to your next class.

Later that day, you waited in the library for fifteen minutes. Then thirty. Then forty-five. You grabbed your books and shoved them in your bag, slamming the door on your way out. Part of you worried something had happened to him, but another part questioned why you even cared.

You had just made it to the parking lot when you noticed Eddie’s van on the far end of the lot. Eddie was leaning against it with a wide grin, talking to someone in a cheerleading outfit. You looked closer and noticed it was none other than the queen of Hawkins, Chrissy Cunningham.

So he couldn’t be friends with you yet he could run around with the most popular and pretty girl in town, blowing you off in the meantime. You tried to push down the pain bubbling up inside your chest, jumping in your car and speeding out of the lot, right past Eddie and his new friend. You knew he saw you but you didn’t care.

You trudged up to your room and instantly drew yourself a bath. You lit a few candles and poured in your favorite scented bath bubbles. You needed to calm down before working on your project. It needed to be finished with or without him- preferably without him.

After a decent soak, blasting your music to drown out any unwelcome thoughts, you threw on your fluffiest bath robe and sat down on your bed with your books in front of you. Your parents weren’t home so you could just relax without anyone bothering you.

What felt like hours went by, when in reality it was only forty-five minutes. Your album was nearing its end so you got up to change it. You happened to look up in the mirror and let out a ear splitting scream when you noticed a man standing in your window.

“Woah, calm down! Open up!” Eddie called out. You stood there clenching your chest trying to find your heart.

“What. The. Fuck. Munson!!” You screamed, flinging the window open.

“You didn’t answer your door! I was knocking for like fifteen minutes,” he said, climbing into your bedroom.

“So you climb onto my roof, you psycho?!”

“Okay, I can see how that appears mildly concerning. But I just wanted to talk to you and I didn’t have your phone number so-“

“Because we’re not friends.” His face instantly fell into a frown.

“What?”

“You don’t have my number because we’re not friends. I don’t even know how you figured out where I live to be honest. We were partners on a project, which I will finish tonight, and that’s it,” you said, trying to act as neutral as possible. Maybe if you just cut everything off you could squash whatever feelings were bubbling up inside of you.

“Is this because I blew you off today? I honestly got a little distracted and forgot and I feel totally horrible.”

“So you’re trying to justify it by saying you got distracted and forgot? I guess I’m just not as important as queen Chrissy.” You couldn’t help the venom in your tone and you could see something light up in his eyes.

“Are you jealous of Chrissy?” He asked flat out.

“W-what?” He took a step closer to you and you matched it, only to run into your bed. You were suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you were in nothing but a robe. You crossed your arms over your chest and stared down at your feet.

“Is that what the problem is, gorgeous? You’re mad because I was with another girl?”

“No, why would I care about that?” You snapped.

“Because you care about me?” You thought you heard a hint of hope in his voice, but you chose to ignore it.

“Yeah right, Munson. I’m mad because I told you how much you mean to me this project means to me and you just didn’t care enough to show up. So I’m going to finish it and hand it in to the teacher so we can just be done.”

“(Y/N), it was a drug deal and nothing more.” He tried to reach out for your hand but you recoiled.

“Yeah, right. Like Chrissy Cunningham would buy drugs. And you’re the one that decided we weren’t friends when you blew me off in the lunch room.”

“Okay, let me explain!”

“No! You’re done explaining. This really isn’t a big deal. We’re just going to go about our lives pretending the other doesn’t exist, just like before. So please leave.”

“Sweetheart-” when you finally looked up your heart broke to see how upset he looked. You wanted to take it all back but you knew in the long run this was for the better.

“Just go.” You went over and opened your bedroom door, motioning with your hand for him to leave. He stood there with pleading eyes and it took all of the conviction you had to not break down. “Go!”

He slowly walked past you, looking like he had something to say, but whatever it was, he kept to himself. Once he was out of your room, you slammed the door behind him. Once you heard your front door close, you collapsed on the floor with a sob.

Why was this hurting so much? He was nothing to you- just the freak you were paired with for a class project. You could tell yourself that over and over again, but it would never make it true. You had fallen for Eddie Munson, and you just kicked him out of your life for good.

Were you protecting yourself? Maybe. Were you overreacting? Probably. One thing was certain though, you couldn’t change what happened so you’d have to learn to live with it- to live without him.

————————————

Angst?? From me?? Never!

Anyone want a part two? 😏

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