I Bet On Losing Dogs

I Bet On Losing Dogs

LawLight vignette ~ 753 Words

Lawliet had already accepted that his life was in the hands of Kira long before he met the man. 

A hard pill to swallow, perhaps, but it was some kind of karma he supposed; after all, how many times had a criminal's life been in his hands? 

But why did it have to be Light? - No, that was a stupid question. It had always been Light, Lawliet knew it from the start.

Light was Kira, Light will always be Kira. 

And Kira as a concept is wrong. No human - because regardless of what Light believed, that's all he was, human - should dictate who lives and dies. Justice had never been that simple. 

Lawliet knew this. He’d spent countless nights staring at Light as he slept, praying that the curtain of purposeful ignorance would rise and he could see the man for who he truly was. 

Begging whatever real god there was to cure him; to take this diabolical human and force Lawliet to see him as anything less than an equal. 

But then Light would wake up- glowing amber eyes would snap open and bore into his, and Lawliet seemed to forget that he was handcuffed to Kira. 

He wished he knew how Light had managed to escape from himself- how he’d managed to forget the thousands of lives he’d taken, and Lawliet hated himself for being grateful for it; because if the culprit had no memory of the crime, had it even happened in the first place?

Well… yes. But he could pretend. 

He could pretend that Light was Detective Yagami’s son, a student at To-Oh and the only person who’d ever matched his wits… It wasn’t like he had to pretend the last part was true though.

He could pretend that, when he stared back, he didn’t see a glimpse of red. 

Lawliet mourned his own death when the handcuffs were removed, and he mourned the death of Light Yagami. At least Light’s death had been quick, only a touch of the death note.

His own would have to wait, after all. 

He’d already made preparations with Watari, or, more accurately, he’d said his goodbyes; because L Lawliet was the greatest detective in the world and he knew what was coming. 

And once more as he stood on the roof, bells ringing in his ears, the rain sinking into his skin, he knew what was coming.

Because it was Kira’s eyes that looked back at him as they stood in the rain; he understood that now. 

Was he even pretending anymore? Lawliet couldn’t tell. Maybe for the rest of the task force, but not for him. 

He was grateful for that. 

In front of the task force, Lawliet could pretend that his suspicions for Light were only that- suspicions- and not painful truth. 

When Light pressed a towel to his wet hair, he could pretend that there was even an ounce of affection behind the action. 

When he felt Light’s eyes on him as he explained his plan to test out the thirteen days rule, he could pretend that it was because the case was so damn close to being solved that he could taste it. 

Even as Watari died on the other side of the screen, as all the data was erased from almost a year of non-stop work, a tiny part of Lawliet pretended that it was an accident. That he’d get another year to build back everything they’d lost, that he’d get another year with Light. 

And then his heart stopped. 

Even though Lawliet had long accepted that his inevitable death would be by Kira’s hands, it didn’t make the pain in his heart any less - whether that was from the heart attack he was suffering or not. 

When Lawliet felt an arm around his neck and a cotton shirt in his fist, he could almost pretend that his last moments wouldn’t be staring up at his murderer but rather the only person he’d ever felt close to loving. 

A brief thought crossed his eyes as he looked at Kira’s smile. 

Light Yagami and Lawliet were made for eachother. 

L and Kira were not. 

As bells rang in his head - the same bells that would be rung at his funeral in a few days - Lawliet could almost pretend that there was regret in Kira’s eyes. 

He hated that his life didn’t flash before him, like it was meant to. He could only see his eyes, whether they were amber or red. 

You better not forget me, Light Yagami.

Also on Ao3 ~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57380617