Arsenicosises - AS

Ahhhh i needed to hear this

This is so important and relevant (in general but also for me personally in many relationships). The way I try to explain it to myself/others is like if we didn't have this constant online access, this would be much more easily recognuzed. Like if you called your friend on the phone, if they didn't answer your response would be oh they're probably busy (even if that's busy with personal/fun activities) but the problem arises when they have not picked up a call from you for days or weeks at a time with no explanation. Then it would make complete sense to consider if they were ok, be hurt, or be more insistent on contacting them.

Continuing this same example. If they didn't pick up the phone once and the next time you speak to them you say hey what was going on when I called you at x time, and if they continued to seemingly ignore your calls for days only occasionally picking up etc it would be the time to seek reassurance (totally valid and often needed). But it would become tiring, unnecessary, harmful, etc to go over to someone's house in a panic every single time they don't pick up the phone, (i.e extreme distress/reassurance seeking every single time, maybe multiple times a day). It would be reasonable then for that person to be depleted or even extremely anxious in this relationshipjj

People don’t owe you their downtime! And I don’t mean this in a harsh way, but in a “quit breaking your own heart” way.

It’s so easy to see a friend “active” and reblogging on tumblr, or maybe making a status update on Facebook and feel hurt they haven’t replied to our messages.

Different things take different energy. And someone being “online” but not actively talking to you does not mean they no longer love or care about you.

that trend but with Jily

quick life tips that aren't worthy of a whole post

Your to-do lists are menus, not marching orders. I've gotten so much out of doing a weekly brain dump and then just selecting a few things out of it. Like "here are all the things I could do, not I'll pick a few that would improve my life in a meaningful way and a few that I just want to, the rest can chill". Unless you achieve enlightenment, we all die with unfinished business. It's chill. You're not a failure. It's just an option.

Create a capsule menu of shelf stable and long lasting fridge foods for when you don't feel like menu planning. Like a capsule wardrobe. Cooking oil is like your underwear, it's a base necessity. Then 3 sources of protein, 3 sources of fiber, 3 sources of volume. For us, proteins are canned chicken, eggs, and yogurt. Fiber is frozen vegetable mix, chia seeds, and legumes. Volume is rice, frozen bread, or oatmeal. Pick three spice mixes (Taco, Curry, and Cajun for us) and mix and match. Add some fun items like cheese, jam, and a condiment or two. Mix and match, throw something together. You can even roll on a dice table for it.

Morale items aren't pointless or wasteful. I spent entirely too much on coffeemonsterzco stickers recently. Guess who's updated their bullet journal and memory keeping calendar for several weeks now? Me. Guess who's already had it uncover and recontextualize medical issues? Also me. It's not pointless. Get the damn stickers.

Listing three good things everyday/gratitude is not overblown hype. It's not meant to dismiss negative feelings or even make you feel good - it helps you correct for you brain's negativity bias and create cognitive flexibility which in turn improves resilience and decision making. Way too many people get the wrong read on it. It's genuinely helped me lately even through some real unfun shit.

i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out

brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

Hozier perfoming 'Nobody's Soldier' for the first time at Lollapalooza

❝ In Hozier we trust. ❞

reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from with a hollow cardboard tube

they hate me at the bike repair shop due to the fact i am always trying to break the cycle

things to do when u realize u feel shitty

so i have alexithymia (emotional blindness or challenges in recognizing, expressing, sourcing, and describing one's emotions) and i often dont realize why, whats causing me to feel that way, or even if its mental or physical shittiness. so here are things i try to do to reset.

so the first step is obviously realizing the feeling at first, is your brain making you feel bad about yourself? do you feel like theres no point in doing things? do you feel stuck? or has there been any drastic change in energy in a short time? these may look different for you, but learning to notice even something as small as do i feel Good or Bad, you dont need to get caught up in what specifically it is.

FIRST and foremost, medications. did you take your meds? vitamins? please do so if you can. if you've missed the time window that you are meant to or cant for another reason, no guilt please, its ok we all forget.

move! change locations. even if its just where you are sitting in bed from one side to the other and sit up if you can. i try to move to my desk chair. sometimes just sitting up can change the way you feel drastically.

this could also mean move as in take a walk around your room, stand up on your phone instead of laying down.

do a Task, or Activity. copy a journal spread from pinterst even if it takes like 3 hours. write some lists, make a bracelet, play a game. focus on something you like. very cliche advice i know but its great to allow yourself to do something you like.

get a snack/water. unfortunately hydration is important even tho its annoying. make it super cold, put some lemon or mint in there if you want. its all about making it a) more fun and b) different sensory experiences. if you are hungry go down a mental list of most to least effort meal and find what you can do (cook from sratch, add stuff to ramen, eat it plain, get a handful of nuts or fruits, etc)

open the curtains/blinds, let the outside in a bit. even if its dark out open them and look around and close again.

face feels gross? do some level of skincare, exfoliate your lips and put on some vasesline, brush and floss your teeth (love floss picks). if you have bangs wash them in the sink.

if weather + mental permits, go outside. even for 2 seconds to look at it

shower=full reset and rebirth. not a bath, a shower. let the water hit you and soak your hair. do as full of a shower as you can. use so much moisturizer (if you can) with a scent you love. sensory goodness is very helpful. this usually works for me to pull me out. often the reason why i feel shitty is actually just me not realizing my hair is dirty, or i need alone time, etc which is acheived by showering.

aligned with that, put on new clothes, either comfortable and lounge clothes that are good sensory, or you need a new fun outfit because you have been wearing the current one for too long and its irritating you in a way you dont notice.

clean something, same as the food go from most to least effort and find out what you can do. organize 1 drawer or your whole house. my go to is usually rearraging my bedside table top and drawer. because for me thats where i keep things like my journal, headphones, letters from friends, body butter, etc its a chance for me to help future me access this little self care station.

make your bed so you have a clean cozy place to lay and sit, unfortunately a made bed is more comfortable

in general, treat yourself like a littel guy, talk to yourself like a toddler even if it feels silly, the part of you that feels bad is basically a toddler throwing a tantrum tbh. silliness is often a precursor to feeling Good. these things feel so so hard but each time you do them despite feeling bad it will get easier i promise you, you will get good at what you practice so practice trying.

if all of these things seem too hard, or you cant do them, the main thing is thats ok too. and if you dont feel 100% better after doing these things, that is also ok. the truth is some days things will be hard and that is your body telling you to relax, or sleep, or that it just wants to have an off day. no day is wasted if you are still here to see it.

(a lot of these tasks can be made easier by doing prep when you are feeling Good, which is part of the reason why i made this list, but i might do another post on prep stuff. )

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