Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Comfort In the Chaos

Griffin runs his hands down his face as he thinks of where he wanted to start. The best place to start was probably at the beginning, but the beginning doesn’t seem to exist when your mother is a pathological liar that can convince anyone that her family fell apart because of their father, Ignacio, a man that worshiped the ground she walked on.

Their father was in the picture for as long as Griffin could remember. Griffin assumed he was still in the picture after he ran away to take care of Axel, but fate (or luck, whichever hated him more) didn’t seem to hold that truth.

Ignacio was a gentle soul with a strong drive to keep his family safe no matter what it took. He would walk through hell when Ximena refused to walk on a match. He would pick up the chores around the house for the boys if they ever forgot to do them and would send a wink their way with a quick ‘she doesn’t have to know it was me.’ Anyone that looked at Ignacio felt safe, at ease even, by those honey eyes.

Teaching the boys to hunt, cook, fence, farm and clean was nothing but the bare minimum to him and he made sure they knew it.

“I only want the best for you both. If your mother and I aren’t around, then you will need to provide for each other. I can’t say for certain with the times we’re living in you will be as fortunate to find a lover, so you have to be ready to take care of each other.”

The boys look at each other, nod their heads and get right back to their learning. Love was nothing but a time waster in this world, Griffin had to constantly remind himself of that.

“Hey, earth to Grif, what is it that you need to tell me that is so shell-shocking that you haven’t had the ability to speak for five minutes?”

Axel doesn’t mean to come off as rude as he is, but with the anticipation gripping at his sides and twisting his stomach, he lets his nerves get to him.

“When did dad leave? I need to know that first. That is going to tell me where to start.”

Axel tensed and shifted uncomfortably as if the memory was enough to steer him away from the curiosity of finding the truth.

“He left about a year and a half after you ran away. He refused to stop looking for you, though. Everyday it was ‘but what if Griffin this’ and ‘Griffin could come home that.’”

Axel didn’t realize that he had balled his fist, he didn’t even realize the slight tremble in his legs. He wasn’t sure if his tiny outburst was anger placed towards his father for leaving, or if it was jealousy that his brother seemed much more wanted than he would ever be. All he knew was that there was a pain that settled in him that changed from emptiness and sorrow to rage and revenge for the boy that would never get to know familial love again.

Griffin seemed to pick up on the tense atmosphere and he stood up, held his hand out in offering and waited. Axel, confused as ever, put his hand out as well and Griffin pulled him into what seemed to be a bone crushing hug.

There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to apologize for. He needed to tell Axel all the things he did to keep assassins and others away from the boy from a distance. If he could find the correct words, he would say ‘I’m sorry I left you to deal with that alone.’, ‘I did try my best to keep you safe from a distance, but I couldn’t keep you from the real monster.’, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t bring you with me.’ ‘I came back and watched out for you every night that she didn’t have someone right outside of that stupid window watching guard’ but now wasn’t the time for any of that.

Instead, he settled for a “you’re not alone anymore. I don’t know how many times I can apologize for running back then, but I’m not running again. I’m here now. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, if you want to punch me or curse me again you can. I understand.”

Axel couldn’t help the choked sob that fell from his lips or the tears that he didn’t know he was holding back. All this time, he began to believe that he was hated by his older brother. He began to believe that he was forever going to be known as the lesser brother to him. But with Griffin’s unprompted apology, something told him that he was being so genuine it pained them both. Ximena had convinced him Griffin ran away because he was embarrassed of the people he was related to. Axel almost wanted to believe the lies that his mother fed him rather than face the truth that he was the one in the wrong.

“You really didn’t run because you were embarrassed of us?”

“I would break the noses of anyone that talked badly on your name. I was more than proud to be related to one of the strongest families in the villages. I’ll tell you more about that later, we can’t both be emotional messes.”

Griffin knew that a small joke wouldn’t do much harm, a light punch to his arm and a tiny ‘shut up’ confirmed his assumption. Axel took deep breaths to collect himself as he tried to figure out what he could say that wouldn’t make him more emotional than he already was.

“Mom told me they got in a bad fight one night and he threw a glass at her head, it shattered over her and glass got in her eye, but he was the one that ended up making a run for it. I guess that is what guilt does to you.”

Griffin couldn’t find himself believing that Ignacio would ever get physical with her, he would apologize for hugging her too hard or squeezing too hard in a massage, he would never bring her harm.

“Where were you at the time?”

“I wasn’t in the house, I was down in the village because mom said she needed to talk to him and didn’t want me listening in. She said it was about you lashing out on her and how dad needed to stop searching for a monster and start hunting instead..”

At the last sentence, things began to settle into place. Ximena didn’t want any witnesses.

Griffin knew he personally ran away because he was lashed out at. He didn’t want to run, but he knew he couldn’t fight back. He ran because he found something he wasn’t supposed to, then was blamed for the exact action that he escaped from.

If there was one thing that he and his father shared, it was mannerisms and intelligence, meaning Ignacio had to have found the one dirty little secret that Ximena didn’t want ANYONE to find.

Ignacio must have found the cellar that stashed her little obsession.

Griffin takes a moment to collect himself as he figures out how to find the proper words without going into too much detail of the pain he suffered through in silence.

“There’s a cellar in the far back corner of our property.”

“Oh I know. I know everything about that hell hole.”

“I found the cellar in the daytime, and decided maybe I should check inside for myself. When I started walking over to the building, I saw her and I kinda started to panic. If she was hiding something, I wasn’t about to lose my toes for snooping around.”

A bittersweet laugh is passed between the brothers when the situation is considered.

“One night I followed her in that cellar. She didn’t look like herself in the slightest, she had this glint in her eye that should've been the sign for me to walk away and not ask her any questions but I had to know what the meaning of it was.”

Axel tilts his head to the side, while it made sense that Griffin would be confused, he didn’t understand why their mother would be seemingly possessed by the liquid.

“Swey has no addictive properties, I’m not sure why she was acting differently…”

“When I called out for her she nearly whipped her neck off to look at me, there wasn’t fear there like I thought there would be, though. It was nothing but anger. I didn’t know how to react and next thing I knew she was rushing me with a dagger.”

After a deep silence, Griffin shakes his head. The memory wasn’t one that he wanted to go into the detail of with his younger brother, but he knew there were more questions to be answered.

“The rest of that is history. I ran away and began to live through different villages as long as I could until word got around that I was the one that lashed out and attacked her, rather than the other way around.”

Axel can't find what to say, he was always so convinced that his mother was a patron saint that always wanted what was best for the family, not the reason the family fell apart. Griffin looks up at him and the dreaded question is asked.

“So, where is mom now?”

“I’m not sure, she sent me for the anklet and cut comms with me.”

“Of course she did, I think I know where we will find her.”