What even is a gay cafe like what you go in, order a sandwich, sit down, eat your sandwich and leave but like, Paris is Burning is playing on the TV or something?
every gay girl i’ve spoken to agrees that one of the most humiliating and demoralizing things is having a straight girl thinking you’re coming on to them simply bc you like girls and it….really fucks with our relationships both platonic and romantic bc while other girls get to sit on each others laps and sleep in the same beds and playfully grab each others asses we’re putting up so many walls just in case our straight friends think we’re after them.
i wish this website wasn’t such an unsafe environment to discuss abuse in the case of women who date other women. don’t get me wrong, i’m the first to criticize the mainstream stereotype that our relationships are inherently toxic and you’ll catch me fighting against the unjust demonization of sga women for the rest of my life. but as a lesbian who’s been in an emotionally abusive relationship, it can feel really alienating to be constantly bombarded the rhetoric that our relationships are these soft, loving things by the very nature of not having men involved.
when real life abuse victims and survivors are afraid to talk about their experience because they might be silenced for “perpetuating the stereotype that lesbian/bi women are abusive and predatory”, there is a problem.
we need to make space for a conversation on how gay women can feel trapped in an abusive relationship because they’re genuinely terrified that they won’t ever meet anyone else.
we need to acknowledge that it takes work to be a good partner to someone, that you’re not guaranteed to be good for someone just because you aren’t a man.
we need to allow survivors to open up about their experience with abuse no matter how that abuse manifested, without making them feel guilty for coming forward.
our love is beautiful, yes. but people are people and any relationship has the capacity to be damaging to those in it.
Source
Because Those Who Mind, Don't Matter, and Those Who Matter Don't Mind
451 posts