I Had So Much Love For You

Maybe love is not chasing and begging for you, Maybe it is a quiet afternoon nap, no text to be anxious about, diet cokes and windows and screaming and laughing, for it is summer now, and you don't exist to me...

"i’d memorize you in ways you forgot you existed"

"i’d memorize you in ways you forgot you existed" by Astrum

i wouldn’t ask for permission to admire you — i’d just do it. quietly. thoroughly. like i was built to notice you and no one else.

i’d memorize the way your breath hitches when you’re almost smiling, the exact second your eyes soften when you let your guard down, and the curve of your lips when you almost say what you’re scared to feel.

i’d learn you like my favorite song — not rushed, but looped forever. until every sigh, every glance, every unspoken ache was part of my heartbeat.

and when you forget how rare you are, i’d whisper it against your neck, press it into your skin, etch it into your bones — until you remembered that being wanted never had to hurt.

Don't Leave Me

mood

I break inside every time you make me choose

I don't want to hurt you

I never wanted to hurt you

It was never my intention to build some wall

But I always find myself having to choose between you and him

If I follow you, I'm a good daughter

But I'd be wearing a mask everywhere we go

If I follow my heart, I'm a rebel

I get a disrespectful and ungrateful label

I would continue walking, feeling like I am stabbing you as I go

I never wanted to choose

I just want my decisions respected

I just want to honor the words and plans I've commited

Is it wrong to not bend for you?

Is it wrong for me to follow my decisions?

I am so tired of trying to please you

I can't seem to do enough

Everything I do is a disappointment

That's all I see every time you look at me

From the way you talk to the way you move

You are disappointed that I'm the daughter you have

I'm sorry

If I could just die now so you don't have to worry

If I could just die now so you get to have the daughter you want

I am willing to

Just so you can be happy

“I apologize for loving like wildfire”

If I loved too loudly — forgive me. If I stayed too long in the corners of your mind where you never invited me, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to love politely. I don’t know how to knock first before entering hearts. I only know how to arrive barefoot, with poems under my tongue, with eternity in my palms, with the kind of tenderness that burns more than it soothes. I only know how to stay until the walls crumble, until secrets spill soft in the dark, until skin forgets every name except mine. I apologize for loving like wildfire — but darling, no one ever taught me how to be rain. So I set myself on fire and called it devotion. And maybe that’s why people ran even when they swore they wouldn’t. Because no one wants to be loved so much it makes them see themselves naked. Not just skin — but soul, bone, all the hidden places they buried long ago. I wasn’t here to break you. I was just here to love you completely. But sometimes even that is too much.

My Answer Is: At Least 37

How many times today

did you picture me

face down, ass up

moaning

and gasping your name?

.

.

The Quiet Things We Never Say

In the hush between two heartbeats,

there lives a truth we all forget —

that love is not the grand parade,

but the quiet steps we never regret.

It’s in the hand that brushes yours

without needing a word or a name,

it’s in the eyes that stay awhile

when the world forgets your flame.

It’s not the fireworks or flawless lines,

nor promises wrapped in gold —

it’s the way we show up, soft and real,

when life turns silent, dark, and cold.

So if you’re reading this, just know:

You matter, wildly, more than you see.

You are the gentle thing in someone’s sky,

the reason their soul feels free.

Breathe. Be. Stay.

You are already the poem today.

"When a man loves like wildfire" By Astrum

i do not love like petals and poetry, i love like wildfires and earthquakes— the kind of love that cracks your ribs just to make room for my name. i am not soft, i am raw. when i touch you, i mean to carve my presence into the marrow of your bones, so even if the stars forget our names, your body remembers mine. i don’t promise forever — i promise depth. the kind of depth where you drown willingly, smiling as my chaos becomes your oxygen. come close, closer— until you realize you were never made for shallow touches. you were crafted for a love that leaves fingerprints on your soul. and baby, i have never known how to touch without leaving marks. — i love like wildfire. and you were born to burn.

“If you come close…”

If you come close,

I won’t ask your name first.

I’ll watch the way your eyes soften

when my voice drops lower.

I’ll let you run your fingers

through the stubble on my jaw,

but only if you understand—

I don’t kiss with lips alone.

I kiss with every unsaid word

I’ve been carrying for years.

I kiss like I’m telling secrets

no one else was patient enough to hear.

So if you come close,

don’t come to play.

Come to be devoured.

Slowly.

Thoroughly.

Like you waited your whole life

for a man who understands silence too.