I Love Brennan’s “yes And-ing” This Episode.

Making like Kristen Applebees at the doctor’s office today. “Pussy out. Tits away”

Trying to explain to my professor why I know so much about tuberculosis without sounding insane.

“Well, you see, popular young adult novelist John Green got really invested in the topic and learned so much about it that he changed career paths and became a non-fiction writer and spoke to the UN and did a bunch of advocacy and I watch his videos so…”

Sometimes I think about how Aabria has a Tumblr account and can therefore see all of us going absolutely crazy over her. I hope she sees. She deserves all the good things

tumblr is the abyss and I really need it to not stare back

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

I'm not a socially awkward introvert. I'm a socially awkward extrovert. I am perfectly capable of carrying a conversation, but I'll carry it like a seagull carries a french fry. Snatching it from your fingers and flying off faster than you can process, and then taking it somewhere weird.

I had such high expectations for the finale and they were still all surpassed. The drama of Tula almost killing Jaysohn only for Viola to crit twice and completely wreck everyone. An absolutely insane last battle followed by an even crazier epilogue. Jaysohn deserves his airbud moment. I can’t wait for Lila to solve climate change. Thorn really was a prophet. I still need an update on the status of hats. What an amazing story the whole way through.

True love is actually sending your best friend a photo of your tongue asking “is this normal? You know we’re close when I can do this” and receiving a photo of her tongue back with the caption “Ugh. Mouths are ugly. I love you too.”

help. I fall for every attractive gay woman that gives me attention

The main problem with owning a Pizza John shirt is that now everyone knows when I’ve done the laundry because it will be the first thing I wear.

That and the fact that it’s 20 degrees outside and I will be wearing the t shirt anyway