Look, I Love Me Some Spicy East Asian Cuisine.

Hello fellow idiot!

Also I’m thinking of like, in Arthur’s route, you get threatened by some random barflies, which, yeah I’ll glass y’all in the face any day of the week. And I think some college bro punks try to start shit in Isaac’s route? I’ve killed off a lot of my brain cells with quarantine drinking, so my memory might be iffy.

Also, IRL tip from my time spent working with law enforcement: if someone tries to grab you/lure you away and take you somewhere, scream, run away, do whatever it takes not to go with them. Your odds of getting out alive are a lot better if you put up a fight before the asshole gets you to a private place.

This has been a PSA from your friendly local embittered old feminist former prosecutor

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

I actually love this a lot. The little pursed lips, both in this drawing and the original card, make me laugh my ass off and I don’t know why. I just spent ten minutes trying to make this face in the mirror.

Shitty attempt on "why do people love cats" Satan

And

I just want a daddy, stop kink shaming me, otome :(

Me: I don’t have a type. What even is a type?

Otome games: I present to you, your type

Me: I- my taste is expensive 🤭

When my sister and I turned out to only date atheists/Jewish people, and my dad found my social media full of atheist memes, he gave us a long lecture about how “we look down on good God-fearing people” and we are what’s wrong with this country. Pretty sure if he knew I was into fictional demons, by now he’d just shrug and accept that he has failed as a good Christian parent. LMAO.

FR though, it gets better. They learn to accept you, possibly by just avoiding the topic of religion (fine by me), or they don’t, in which case you can set your own boundaries and create your own support system. I’m always around to lend an ear for the budding atheist in the midst of southern-Christian-America. :)

Damn, I feel you. My family is very religious and spiritual and if they found out that I even played obey me and that I've fell in love with almost all of the Demon brothers in the game and Diavolo then my Mom would call my uncle and have him rebaptize lol. And she'll give me a lecture about how wrong it is even though it's just a game :/

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL FOR US WIFBSHS I feel like my mom wants to send me to a convent now 😭😭 wait till they find out im an athiest

Can you imagine how much fun it would be to take a baseball bat to a giant fucking sea cucumber and just watch it go

GOOSH SPLAT

And then it panics and ejects its guts at you and you just keep beating it

GOOSH GOOSH GOOSH

I'm really mad about the fact that in the new event the brothers didn't let me fight against that fucking giant sea cucumber and just told me to stay away from it, they even told Solomon to fight, but not ME?! 😤 I'm so indignated right now I am not kidding 😡

Reminds me of the time I met a guy who got stopped by the police with a car full of baby alligators.

(which were illegal, but less so than the trunk full of meth)

Beel: It’s not illegal

Police officer staring into Beel’s car trunk which is full of bread: it’s just... there’s so much-

Beel: but it’s not illegal, is it

Police officer:

English is the language that beats up other languages in the locker room and steals their lunch money vocabulary and grammar

I wouldn’t hit him, in part because I don’t want whatever hideous viruses he’s still carrying around.

100% would film on my phone while yelling “WORLDSTAR” though.

And if you’re really worried about stress eating or being unhealthy during the pandemic, you can do better things than shit yourself silly after drinking whatever diet tea you saw on Instagram. Besides the fact that they don’t work, a lot of diet programs you find on social media will either harm you (because they’re extremely restrictive or call for taking some unregulated supplement containing hell knows what) or your wallet (because when you order a program they’ll steal your credit card number or sign you up for some autoship mess).

Go for a walk, do some yoga, play with a dog, make something healthy but tasty, like an omelet with veggies or pancakes with fruit (yeah, I love breakfast food, come at me bro). Doing these things might not even make you lose weight, but they will make you feel good.

Or engage in my favorite form of self care, dousing yourself in Vaseline and sliming around the floor while you play at being a slug.

You don’t owe it to anybody, at any time, and especially not during a global pandemic, to be a certain size or shape. You are making it through an unprecedented disaster and that makes you a certified fucking badass.

I love you all and I support you in doing whatever you gotta do, you rock star.

Diet companies will be hitting hard this year. Be prepared to hear repeated sentiments of “It’s time to get rid of that Quarantine 15” and “In these hard times, commit to taking care of yourself with healthy living and weight loss.”

This rhetoric is going to be everywhere. And due to the nature of modern advertising, the vast majority of it will be coming from people online who just look like they’re trying to share some good advice with the followers that they love so much. You’ll barely be able to see the money getting thrown at them from the weight loss industry.

Don’t reward them for using these manipulation techniques - Buying their products and losing weight isn’t going to make your year any better, or erase the stress of the pandemic, or be the first step in self-care.

Please please please see these ads for what they are - A way of preying on your insecurity and trauma in order to make money.

Y’all like pickle chicken? I’ll give y’all pickle chicken. AutomaticTastemakerTheorist’s homemade Nashville hot chicken:

You’ll need a pound of chicken (I buy the tenderloins, but breast works too, just cut it into strips). Marinate in pickle juice and a dash of hot sauce for a couple hours.

Make your dunkin’ juice: 2 cups buttermilk, 3 eggs, pickle juice to taste (start with a couple tbsp), Crystal hot sauce to taste (I use like half a bottle, because I like it hot), and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Dunk your chicken like its name is Lebowski and it owes you money. Roll it in flour. Dunk it again. Roll in flour again. Let it sit for about 15 minutes.

Fry it up - I use an air fryer, but vegetable oil on the stove works too.

Make your sauce: 6 tbsp cayenne pepper, 2 tbsp brown sugar, 1 tsp garlic salt, 1 tsp chili powder, 1 tsp paprika, mixed up in about half a cup of olive oil.

Toss the fried chicken in the sauce. Serve on Wonderbread with pickle slices. 

Use your leftover dunkin’ juice and flour to fry up some sliced okra. Your tastebuds will thank you. Your arteries, not so much.

Yes, Chick-fil-A’s Foundation Still Donates to Anti-LGBTQ Causes

Plus, Utah’s pickle-based dessert, and other news to start your day

Memo To The Media: Chick-fil-A Condemns, Discriminates, And Campaigns Against LGBT People

https://thinkprogress.org/memo-to-the-media-chick-fil-a-condemns-discriminates-and-campaigns-against-lgbt-people-3e2dbb7b8056/

Fuck them for sure.