I Crack My Eggs Against The Side Of The Bowl I’m Gonna Whisk Them In.

(Y/n): (Mumbles after they stub their toe against some furniture) Fuck me...

Malleus: (Looks at (Y/n) with a seductive look on their face) Well that can be arranged, my love.

(Y/n): (Realizes that Malleus heard what they've said) WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Ageless blogs & minors, DNI!

Probably the stupidest post I'll ever make (might end up deleting this later), but here we go!

Is it weird/wrong to make &/or like Malleus x reader fanfics? Especially of the nsfw variety? Lemme explain.

If the translations from Lilia's farewell party in ep. 7 are accurate (PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong), Malleus isn't an adult yet? He's currently 178 years old & dragon fae must be 1,000 years old to be considered an adult( both according to Lilia). Again, PLEASE let me know if this information is incorrect. I'd hate to spread misinformation.

The point of me bringing this up is that Idk if I should make Malleus x reader fanfics if he's not an adult (in terms of dragon fae kind). Yeah, he looks like an adult & acts like one (even if immature at times), but is it weird to make romantic &/or sexual fanfics of him? I'm confused & I hate that I'm overthinking this.

To anyone who's at least 18 yrs. old, I'd love to hear your guys' input on this matter. It's probably really stupid of me to think about this (most likely is & I'm sorry for that), but I'd rather ask than to dwell on it for so long.

AGFJAWEFWPIFGAWOFNEAW! SO FREAKIN’ CUTE! <3

Imagine what it’s like to kiss Malleus Draconia…

How when you first asked him to kiss you, Malleus chuckled. Not mockingly or jokingly, but out of pure delight. Did you know how adorable and endearing you were? Or how much you made his heart soar? When others would avoid him or fear him—you, the love of his life, just asked for a kiss. He was more than happy to; cupping your cheek so tenderly before placing his lips ever so lightly on yours. It was chaste, gentle, and even fleeting, as you both wished for more.

How when he’s feeling particularly touch starved Malleus will hold onto your hand; playing with your fingers, brushing your soft skin with the pad of his thumb, tracing the lines in your palm so lightly it almost tickles you. He smiles, almost completely lost in thought as he pulls your hand towards him, kissing your knuckles, your palm, and each and every pad of your finger. It’s tender, sweet, and even playful when his lips ghost the sensitive skin enough that it can even raise a giggle out of you. 

How when you’re cuddling close to him, wrapped tightly in his strong, warm arms that he’ll nestle his head into you as best he can, gripping you so tightly that it’s like he’s afraid you’re some distant dream that he’ll wake up from. Malleus presses kisses all along your shoulder blades, going up your neck and across your jaw—they’re almost desperate as he kisses every inch of you he can reach before he finally buries his head into the crook of your neck. 

How when Malleus and you say “hello” or “goodbye”, each and every time he’ll lean down enough that you can meet his bright green eyes. He’ll grab your hand to press a kiss on your knuckles, then move onto your forehead—lingering there longer than normal, the feeling of his lips upturning into a small smile as he inhales your scent, and admires the warmth of your skin. It’s a ritual; like a token of good luck, or a reminder that you’ll see each other again soon. 

How when you fall asleep near him; having stayed up way longer than you should have, that he’ll take note of how peaceful you look. Admiring the softness of your features, the calmness of your expression—Malleus’ heart warmed by the sheer thought that you trusted him so much that you fell asleep. He’ll pick you up, brushing the hair from your head as he gently places you somewhere more comfortable, pulling a blanket over you as he presses one long, feather light kiss onto the tip of your nose. 

How when he’s desperate for you, he’ll start off by kissing your neck, going up quickly to your jaw, your chin, the corners of your lips before your lips both finally meet. It’s lust filled yet romantic, slow yet fast, intense yet passionate—every emotion all swirled into one as his lips move against yours, almost like a fiery dance that doesn’t miss a step. Malleus will move up and down your neck, light bites peppered across your skin and on your swollen lips. Kisses that leave you breathless and weak at the knees. 

Kissing Malleus is like a kiss in an old movie. It’s old fashioned, complex, passionate, and something that can completely sweep your off of your feet in a moment’s notice. They’re longing and desperate—so full of love that you’re quite sure you could burst. They’re hypnotizing; almost so addicting that you’re constantly craving more.

Kissing Malleus is perfect; a kiss so full of love that it feels like it could only happen once in a lifetime. 

A/N: Okay I am so desperately in love with this man that I’m sure I’m projecting, but I HAD to do something tender and romantic for him and dkjfhkdhf I almost wanted to cry when I started writing it. Ugh, why can’t he be real 😭 I am planning to do something like this for Azul next, but I’m open to more suggestions for characters if anyone has any! Now…brb while I go imagine all of this myself and have my heart burst 🖤 also this isn’t edited because I wrote it in a random burst of inspiration, whoops

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Thank you so much humbuns for hosting this wonderful event! Again, I'm so sorry for not noticing the change in the deadline & I'm extremely grateful that you added my entry!

After 4 weeks and 100+ submissions later, the Flowers for Malleus birthday collab event is finally here on this special day! 🐉 🌼🌿🌷

I can’t believe this collab has gotten way out of hand but I highly suggest everyone to look underneath the #flowersformalleus tag to support all those who joined (and any last minute submissions)!! It was stressful at the end but I had so much fun! Happy Birthday to the only character ever!!

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I genuinely wish this isn't the case. Poor Malleus had to deal with the death of his parents at an early age & he now has to cope with losing his only friend as well as his caretaker. The idea of Lilia going all "Whoopsie Daisy" is so fucked up. Let's not forget about Silver too.

As much as I'm worried about Lilia this chapter (and I'm very worried. He's my fav! 😭) I also cant help but wonder if he's not actually dying and just caught the fae equivalent of a cold, and just, ya know, forgot that was a thing. Like his magic is gonna come back in a few days and he'll be all "Oh, guess it was just the sniffles."

I have to think they won't actually perma-kill him in-story -- I tend to be hilariously wrong about predictions, but, like, surely they wouldn't change the status quo that hard. (at least not before his nendoroid comes out.) so it probably will end up something like that! everyone watches Malleus' little shadow-puppet backstory, tears are shed, character development happens, and then Lilia is like "ha ha, speaking of wacky misunderstandings..." let me believe

(or possibly, because Lilia is a jillion years old and everything is relative, "I'm going to die soon!" = a mere 80 or so years left. which still isn't great for Mal, but is way better for Silver and Sebek and me. either way, Lilia's gonna have a lot of 'splaining to do.)

Never thought I'd see fan art that actually scared me for a second, but here we are.

Halloween or whatever

No text under cut

Keep reading

The thought of God himself shipping two people together will never be not funny as fuck.

Wait we are naming favourites??? Because that drawing of Simeon smiling with a halo/shine behind him rent-free in my head <3

aughh i love that simeon so much omg, flustered simeon is best simeon ever <3

i wish i could talk more about simeon falling in love cause it has potential for angst but also, i can just see it as a romcom full of silly ideas just like this lmao:

Miscellaneous posts

Fanfics

To stay or to leave.

To stay or to leave.

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: (Y/n) (gender neutral), Crowley, dorm leaders & Leech twins

Word count: 908

Warnings: Slander towards various characters, but mostly Crowley.

Author’s note: I’m so sorry for being inactive for so long. Life’s been hectic & I’ve been suffering from creative block. Anyways, please keep in mind that the opinions (Y/n) expresses about other characters are my own.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me correctly, Headmaster. I’ve decided to transfer to Royal Sword Academy” (Y/n) replied bluntly.

“But I’ve been kind to you since the beginning! Not only have I given you a home & money for necessities, I’ve been conducting countless research on how you could return to your world. How could you be so cruel” asked Crowley.

“Consider this as karma for all the times you’ve dumped your responsibilities onto me.”

Gasping, Crowley stood up. “I’ve never done such a thing!”

Without skipping a beat, (Y/n) brought up Leona’s unsuccessful sabotaging of the inter-dorm Magshift tournament back in October, Azul’s “assistance” with the final exams, the time they called Crowley during winter break & the multiple instances where they begged for less tasks.

As (Y/n) kept talking, Crowley tried to think of an offer that was too tempting for them to pass up. “If you so wish, I could increase the Madols I give you.”

They shook their head knowing that this paltry raise would be temporary.

“(Y/n), please reconsider. The students would react poorly upon hearing your desire to leave Night Raven College.”

“I know that, but I have to look after myself. Everyone will graduate one day & so will I. Where am I supposed to go afterwards?” (Y/n) adjusted their uniform. “Anyways, I’ve already contacted the school’s headmaster about my situation & he said he’d get in touch with me soon.”

“You’ve talked to Ambrose already?! When did you do that?!”

“During lunchtime.” Just now, (Y/n)’s phone rings. “I think that’s him. Goodbye, Headmaster.”

“Wait!” Crowley watched as (Y/n) left his office. He sat down in his chair, contemplating on his next move.

Time skip to a Thursday evening at the Mostro Lounge…

“Koebi-chan! Help me with the dishes, will ya?”

“Floyd! Stop telling others to do your job” barked Azul.

“Why am I stuck on dish duty? It’s soooo boring!”

“Because you threatened our customers with the prospect of being squeezed! Again!”

“It’s not my fault they didn’t want to tip me! I had to make my time as a waiter worthwhile.”

(Y/n) couldn’t help but chuckle at their banter. While Floyd can be disruptive, he can liven up the place.

“Hey, can I get some service here” asked a student who was with a few classmates.

“Coming” replied (Y/n). Until the day they can officially transfer to Royal Sword Academy arrives, they’ll continue to work at the Mostro Lounge.

At the Mostro Lounge VIP room…

“Here is your paycheck for the week, (Y/n)” said Azul, handing (Y/n) their Madols.

“Thanks, Azul.”

“(Y/n), before you leave, I have something important to discuss with you. Several customers have been complaining about your declining service. Care to explain why?”

Sighing, (Y/n) replied “I haven’t been feeling good lately. Crowley keeps giving me tasks to do & every time I express my concerns, he keeps reminding me of how he’s always been so ‘graciously kind’ to me.”

“Is that so? If you wish, we could have a talk with him” stated Azul in an eerily calm tone, gesturing to the Leech twins who stood behind him.

“There’s no need. I’m-” (Y/n) paused. “I’m gonna be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“If ya say so, Shrimpy~. We’ll be around if you change your mind.”

“I concur with Floyd. It would upset me greatly if something were to happen to my fellow mushroom enthusiast.”

“As I’ve said, there’s really nothing to worry about” said (Y/n) before quickly leaving the VIP room.

On a Friday afternoon in Ramshackle…

(Y/n), not having anything to do, decides to go to the admissions & records office.

Suddenly, the sky turned dark & it began to rain.

Huh? Where’d this rain come from? Whatever. Grabbing an umbrella & bag, (Y/n) ran to the front door. Upon opening it, they saw all seven dorm leaders who were either upset or worried. “Can I help you all?”

“You can help us by explaining why you’re planning on leaving us, Herbivore”

Since they knew the truth, (Y/n)’s expression became much more serious. “You all know about my issues with Crowley, so I won’t repeat them. What I haven’t mentioned before is that I’ve also taken umbrage with most of the guys here.” Before any of the dorm leaders spoke up, (Y/n) raised their hand for a second. “I know we get along these days, but it wasn’t like that when I met you all. Malleus & Kalim are the only exceptions & even then, I’ve hardly talked to the former.”

All dorm leaders felt various levels of guilt after (Y/n) went over some of the things they’ve done, such as Riddle insulting their education & their parents & the massive disaster that was Malleus’s overblot.

“(Y/n). I can’t speak for everyone when I say this, but I apologize for burdening you. By trying to take away your dorm, I became something worse than those who’ve mocked me in the past. Nothing I will do will truly repair the damage I’ve done to you, but if there’s any way I can gain so much as an iota of your forgiveness, please let me know” said Azul.

The other dorm leaders also apologized for their past actions & begged (Y/n) to stay, saying how much they mean to them.

Not wanting to truly regret their decision, (Y/n) said they’d think about it some more.

As a Hispanic with light-skinned family members, I feel you. Also, I would like to apologize on amanda's behalf because I know for SURE that bitch ain't apologizing for her ignorance.

I saw your post earlier about your oc with malleus, and i wondering if your pinoy because of your oc's design👁👁

“Pinoy MalleYuu isn’t real it can’t hurt you”

Pinoy MalleYuu:

Took your ask as an opportunity to share my Visual Novel’s sprite designs!

When you think of “Filipino Casual Fashion”, what do you see? Of course it’s titong nagbabakasyon sa Boracay fashion! 😂 (Resident uncle vacationing at Boracay Beach) You thought you’d never see Malleus wearing shorts? Well now you have LOL.

Note: The PH does not exist in this VN. The setting is on an island inspired by Southeast Asia, but is not a faithful representation of its culture or values. Yuu is also a placeholder and I plan to make other selectable, limited appearances of her.