Personally, I Definitely Think That These Phrases Stand Out A Lot More To The Writer Than To The Reader,

personally, i definitely think that these phrases stand out a lot more to the writer than to the reader, but if you feel like those comparison phrases are adding up too much or getting a bit clunky, I’d recommend experimenting with metaphors rather than trying to look for replacements for “like” or “as”

to a reader, something like “her smile was like the rising sun” is super easy to read and can do a lot of work communicating theme and mood and details about the character (or narrator, depending) but switching it up to something more complex like “her smile was akin to the rising sun” can make a reader pause and go ‘huh that’s a little awkward’ unless that’s the style of language you’ve been writing in the whole time

that said, i think the simplest way to cut down on similes if you have too many (or don’t enjoy how they affect the flow of your sentences) is to use metaphors. they can help cut down that barrier between a character comparing two things (e.g. her smile & the rising sun) and instead appeal directly to a reader’s senses or their understanding of the world, so that the comparison just becomes part of the scene itself

for example, I was reading Sally Rooney’s Normal People during the unit on comparisons for a writing course I took and some that stood out to me were how she described “rain silver as loose change in the glare of traffic” and how that rain “[whispered] on slick roof tiles”

the first quote is a simile while the second is a metaphor, but both of them are making comparisons (the first comparing rain & loose change, leaning on a readers visual reference for shiny coins and implying that the narrator thinks these two things are alike) while the second one compares the sound of rain to the sound of whispering by making it part of the scene description directly. rather than say “it was as if the rain whispered on slick roof tiles” Rooney broke down the barrier that similes sometimes put up by directly appealing to the reader’s senses instead (sound here, instead of sight) and that’s effective bc a reader can very easily understand what it means for rain to whisper without the author having to put in a lot of work looking for a natural way to say “the rain seemed as if it was whispering on slick roof tiles”

and sometimes similes just work better than metaphors. it really depends but, as the author, you get to choose what works for you and what doesn’t

these kind of considerations can be hard to remember when you’re in the middle of writing, too, but the editing phase can be a great place to turn some similes into metaphors (or to decide that you like all your similes and to leave them be!)

i know a lot of my writing involves me writing exactly what I mean, and then scaling it back in the editing phase so that I’m showing what I mean instead of stating it all outright- and in that process a lot of similes end up incorporated in different ways (either by using metaphors instead or by dropping the comparison altogether and leaning more on body language and or theme to draw out the ideas and impressions i want a reader to get) so maybe that strategy could work for you too?

i got a little long-winded here but I hope this helps!

As a newer writer, I'm struggling to use similes in more ways other than by phrases like "like", "seeming as", "as if" or other versions of these three.

What are some of the other, if any, ways to compare something to something else, to avoid a book turning mundane?

More Posts from Bi-focal12 and Others

4 months ago

“Be curious about what you’re writing about” is not stock Common Writing Advice but it really, really should be. There are a lot of written works that fail due to the authors just being obviously incurious about what they are writing about.


Tags
4 months ago

posted a new (old) fic today!! all it needed was a little touch up and it was good to go :)

its called scraped knees and sunday dinners

summary:

Izuku didn't get into U.A. and Katsuki did and that was supposed to be the end of it. But a chance encounter at the convenience store reminds Izuku just how much their relationship hasn't actually ended. Even if their new normal isn't exactly...normal. And not exactly new, either, since not a year has gone by since they were four in which Izuku and Kacchan were not, somehow, together.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61951150


Tags
2 months ago

Chapter one of my new de-aged bakugou fic is posted on ao3 as of earlier today! Had it in my files as “katsuki self-love agenda” lol but the official title is frenemy is far too simple a word

Check it out if you’re interested!

Begging kindly asking for comments :)


Tags
11 months ago

sometimes I look back on my past writing and think it’s the worst thing ever written but occasionally there will be a killer line hidden in there that saves me from the depths of despair

like, yeah I wouldn’t write it that away again if given the chance but that one line?? etch it in stone, my guy

sponsored by this line from a merthur s1 ep03 re-write I wrote ages ago (you can find it here if you’d like)

“All he could see was Merlin walking peacefully from the room, his stupid neckerchief flowerless and hanging from his throat like a poor man’s noose.

When his father adjourned the council, Arthur was still trying to figure out where in the folds of that tattered fabric a part of himself was hidden because he had ceased to be whole the second his manservant disappeared around the corner.”


Tags
3 months ago
Cool As A Cucumber!

cool as a cucumber!


Tags
5 months ago

working on a dabihawks companion piece to the one above ^ (official version of probably not on ao3 but i only changed like two lines)

im thinking touya would be like 17 here instead of the 13(?) he was when he disappeared and was presumed dead in canon

here's what ive gotten down so far:

*cw for homophobia!

The first time Touya became Dabi, he was angry. The echo of his father’s parting words had been ringing sharply in his head- over and over striking the church tower bell in his mind with an unceasing hammer.    

Disgrace, he’d said. Unfit to be my heir. 

Touya’s face had felt on fire beneath his father’s stony gaze. His mother’s timid silence had crawled like ice across the back of his neck. 

The lingering ghost of soft lips pressed sweetly against his own- tall, handsome ones; a new hire in his father’s precinct- had all but disappeared under the way Touya’s teeth had bit into his skin, desperately holding his tears at bay. 

Choose that lifestyle, and you’re dead to me, his father had spat.   

It was purely by accident that someone had failed to lock away that day’s evidence into its proper place, a few cans of spray paint left abandoned on a precinct desk next to a bloody flyer and a broken phone. 

Touya had swiped the purple as he stormed away from his father’s stupid promotion party, scrubbing uselessly at his face. Half-hoping that his mother would have skittered after him once his father’s back was turned to wipe them away herself. 

Half-hoping that his father would have finally hired Touya to work alongside him, proud to announce it in between important handshakes and celebratory drinks. 

Half-blind with rage, Touya had spilled out of the back door like a drunkard, laughing softly to himself at first- grief grating the tender sides of his throat and then spilling harshly out into the open air like a hyena among the broken bottles and forgotten alley trash. 

Alone, behind the building that was his father’s one and only pride and joy, the can in his grip had felt heavy with promise and Touya didn’t pause to think before his trigger finger was pressing down on the release. 

Probably dead by now, he'd scrawled, the angry words biting into pristine red brick. Spite drawing a humorless huff from Touya’s unsmiling mouth. 

“All for a fucking kiss,” he’d whispered. 

But Touya knew- in the same, wordless way he knew his mother had never loved Touya more than she’d feared him- that Enji Todoroki was never going to hire Touya in the first place. No matter how good his marks, how fast he ran the mile, how much he volunteered with the other interns. The ones who always whispered behind his back that Touya’s last name made him golden. 

“Fuck him,” Touya had hissed furiously, slamming the can of spray paint onto the ground where it clanged satisfyingly against dark-cut asphalt, drowning out the sound of his disownment. Then he’d kicked it, for good measure, blinking wetly as he’d watched as it rolled into the shadow of a broken street lamp. 

The cars whizzing by had been none the wiser. 

Slowly, Touya had walked forward- boots thumping step by step by step until he was encased entirely in the single halo of darkness left on a bright, lamp-lit street. 

There had been a cracked-open window. A pop of champagne. A muted cheer.  

Without a second thought, Touya had crouched down to retrieve the can, slipping it into the pocket of his suit jacket before stomping away, an alias on the tip of his tongue and the life of a cracked-open son left behind. The ghost of a kiss left abandoned like a cigarette stub on the sidewalk.

@probabydeadbynow i saw your user (though im now realizing i misread it, lol) and it sparked this short fic idea so i wanted to share it with you before i post to ao3 (bnha, no quirk AU)

There was a piece of graffiti Izuku always saw around town. Sometimes it’d be done in white, other times blue, but most of the time it was purple- each letter looped and sprawling and bleeding into the next. 

Probably dead by now, it always said. 

Izuku didn’t know why he liked it so much. It felt odd to smile at those words when he saw them spray painted underneath the Musutafu bridge but, then again, he remembered seeing those same exact words when he was being driven home from the hospital after breaking his arm for the first time, a lollipop between his lips and a new All Might plush under his arm. And then again the morning his Dad came home for Christmas, surprising Izuku at the door. And then again the day of Kacchan’s 10th birthday party. The one with the All Might impersonator that had carried them both around on his shoulders for a while, their sweaty hands linked behind his head for no other reason except that they were happy. 

White then blue then white again. Purple today. 

Probably dead by now, it always said. 

Probably not, Izuku thought back, peering out of the passenger window with a growing smile. 

Izuku had never seen the artist. Never even caught a glimpse, but their handwriting was paint-splattered over so many of Izuku’s brightest memories. 

“What’s got you so smiley, huh?” Kacchan asked. 

Izuku turned away from the window, watching the way Kacchan’s sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel like his life depended on it. He’d only had his license for a few weeks now. 

“I think something good’s going to happen today,” Izuku replied.

Privately, he was pretty sure it already had. 

Kacchan hadn’t invited Izuku anywhere since that 10th birthday party at the arcade and now they were on their way to tour a newly built school together. 

Kacchan scoffed lightly. “What’s so good about college?” he shot back. 

“I don’t know,” Izuku replied honestly, idly flicking through the UA pamphlet resting on his lap. “Maybe…” Izuku glanced towards Kacchan. Quieter, he said, “Maybe we’ll end up going there together. You know, like old times?” 

Really old times, anyway. When Izuku would trade his apple slices for Kacchan’s potato chips at lunchtime and they’d walk home together in their baby blue smocks, hands clasped firmly together.

Not like the way they’d make passing eye contact in the halls of their high school, always in opposite motion even if Izuku’s eyes would sometimes trail after Kacchan's back. 

Even if sometimes he caught Kacchan looking, too. 

Kacchan was quiet for a few moments, the careful tick of the turn signal a feeble echo of Izuku’s hammering pulse.  

Izuku was pretty sure he remembered seeing that same graffiti- purple, and nearly washed out by a recent rainstorm- the day Kacchan threw Izuku’s notebook from a third story window in junior high. 

“Just don’t expect me to fucking hold your hand,” Kacchan eventually bit out, eyes averted- his focus too intense on the empty road for it mean anything other than embarrassment. 

His tone too light for it to even feel like a denial. 

Izuku quickly turned his gaze to his knees, smothering a smile. The UA pamphlet creased beneath his fingers. 

Probably dead by now.  

Purple. Scribbled across the window of an empty storefront. 

Kacchan had grabbed Izuku’s hand two blocks later and shoved that same pamphlet at him, holding on for a beat too long. 

“You dropped that,” he’d lied. 

His hand had been warm. 

“My dad and I were gonna tour it this weekend but he’s got a work thing.”

Izuku’s eyes had been wide and curious. He’d held his breath while Kacchan scratched the back of his neck and scuffed the toe of his shoe on the ground, casting around for the right words to say. 

“I guess you could take his spot or whatever,” he’d continued with a shrug. “If you pay for gas. ‘Cause I’m going whether you catch a ride or not.”

Izuku had thought that Kacchan would probably leave him in the dust by the time it came to go to college. Or not go, he supposed, but…

Izuku lifted his head again, listening to the way Kacchan hummed softly along with the radio. His sunglasses were All Might themed- a custom release with a subtle design that Izuku hadn’t been able to afford. 

There was a second pair, just like it, shoved towards Izuku’s chest when he first climbed into Kacchan’s car, along with a muttered comment about how Kacchan didn’t want to hear any crybaby complaints about the sun. 

They rested comfortably on Izuku’s head now. 

Probably dead by now, it always said.  

Izuku pulled them down until everything in his field of vision was tinged a soft yellow. 

Life was funny that way, he thought.


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • moonbeammist
    moonbeammist liked this · 5 months ago
  • write-with-will
    write-with-will liked this · 5 months ago
  • jwritesalright
    jwritesalright reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • smelly-welly69420
    smelly-welly69420 liked this · 5 months ago
  • feathers-little-nest
    feathers-little-nest liked this · 5 months ago
  • feathers-little-nest
    feathers-little-nest reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • beautyconsumer
    beautyconsumer liked this · 5 months ago
  • anotherwatchedninja
    anotherwatchedninja liked this · 5 months ago
  • aineran
    aineran liked this · 5 months ago
  • fifis-corner
    fifis-corner liked this · 5 months ago
  • buddhaamitabha
    buddhaamitabha liked this · 5 months ago
  • antsday
    antsday liked this · 5 months ago
  • delicatecherrys
    delicatecherrys liked this · 5 months ago
  • bi-focal12
    bi-focal12 reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • theluckyalien
    theluckyalien liked this · 5 months ago
  • casper-casserole
    casper-casserole liked this · 5 months ago
  • cyberdialect
    cyberdialect liked this · 5 months ago
  • newdawnhorizon
    newdawnhorizon reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • seekerknight557
    seekerknight557 liked this · 5 months ago
  • daandism
    daandism liked this · 5 months ago
  • klonoafan5
    klonoafan5 liked this · 5 months ago
  • gozdii
    gozdii reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • king-nyx
    king-nyx liked this · 5 months ago
  • nameless-be3
    nameless-be3 liked this · 5 months ago
  • masontheevildm
    masontheevildm liked this · 5 months ago
  • newdawnhorizon
    newdawnhorizon reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • starryeyeddreamer21
    starryeyeddreamer21 liked this · 5 months ago
  • wantingtoexpire
    wantingtoexpire liked this · 5 months ago
  • bricks-of-sh
    bricks-of-sh liked this · 5 months ago
  • flamemom1213
    flamemom1213 liked this · 5 months ago
  • z-jenu
    z-jenu liked this · 5 months ago
  • boosterseat3
    boosterseat3 reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • boosterseat3
    boosterseat3 liked this · 5 months ago
  • loveyouloatheyou
    loveyouloatheyou reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • thetreeswillbewatching
    thetreeswillbewatching liked this · 5 months ago
  • bobthetitanisback
    bobthetitanisback liked this · 5 months ago
  • peach-the-gospel
    peach-the-gospel liked this · 5 months ago
  • roxypixiechic
    roxypixiechic liked this · 5 months ago
  • sskybooks
    sskybooks reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • dandelion-jester
    dandelion-jester liked this · 5 months ago
  • blurred-honey
    blurred-honey liked this · 5 months ago
  • blurred-honey
    blurred-honey reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • draculasnailtech
    draculasnailtech liked this · 5 months ago
  • kpoproleplayer04
    kpoproleplayer04 liked this · 5 months ago
  • vesanal
    vesanal liked this · 5 months ago
  • jwritesalright
    jwritesalright reblogged this · 5 months ago
bi-focal12 - love and peace ✌️
love and peace ✌️

writeblr | fake mha tweets | 🏳️‍🌈 | ao3 happy to chat!

321 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags