I Need The Ability To Pat People On Head Through Computer Screen

Why don't you start an only fans and sell pictures of you eating horses? People are into that

bc i dont eat horses????

tagged by @cnihachuu

last song listened to: a quick one before the eternal worm devours connecticut by have a nice life

favorite color: dark turquoise

currently watching: x files

last movie: the last unicorn

currently reading: the neverending story, animorphs 6, the vanishing face of gaia, iron widow, dr jeckle and mr hyde, gut

sweet/spicy/savory: spicy, i need every bite to be incredibly overstimulating

relationship status: unwanted

current obsessions: the jovian moons, folklore and biology of seals

last thing i googled: why is callisto so cratered

currently working on: song that includes all 95 confirmed jovian moons, fox mask, transcription of ride the cyclone

@pigeon-smidge you next buddy mwahhahaha

"ohhh this strange beast drains the blood of it's victims and looks like a big cat" listen im just down to believe in cryptids as the next guy, more even, but thats the description of so many "strange beasts that couldn't be any known species" at this point and not enough people are addressing the fact that BIG CATS TEND TO GO FOR THROATS, WHEN YOU PEIRCE A THROAT IT TENDS TO DRAIN BLOOD VERY FAST!!!!

^!!!!!!!

also unrelated but i love the word exsanguination, one of my favourite words of all time, along with chutzpah and pizzazz

catcallers need to get better at annunciation

i should be able to oil all the joints my body if they are creaky but alas the mind is willing but the flesh is weak

i do not want to be actually famous at all but there are like three aspects of fame that i want

people to obsess over stuff i make

interviews where i can talk about the stuff i make

rpf about me

quicksand is an omnipresent threat

i shouldn’t be “at the club” i should be high at the laundromat

terrible news for the bitches who hate me, i got my blood test back and i officially don't have lead poisoning.

bitches hate me bc i enjoy a nice glass of cold milk. also unrelated but i might have lead poisoning.

(two guys sharing a strawberry)

guy who has never eaten a strawberry: this flavor is unfamiliar and alien to me, like nothing I've tasted before

guy who has eaten a strawberry: this rings of sweet memory, rich with nostalgia