Every Episode Of House Be Like:

Every episode of house be like:

A small child is visibly ill. They start coughing and clutching their throat, but whips out an inhaler and they’re fine. Oh shit! The man across the street just started bleeding out of both of his eyeballs!

Cut to house grimacing in pain and swallowing too much Vicodin.

Differential! Go! Shut up chase you’re an idiot.

They do a bunch of tests, everything is inconclusive!

We need to biopsy the patients eyeballs!

Cut to foreman explaining to the family about how invasive and dangerous a biopsy is.

Biopsy is inconclusive. Cut to house and Wilson. Wilson gives a long introspective dialogue about how houses addiction is deeply rooted in his own self hatred and that he pushes people away to further punish himself.

Epiphany time! Give the patient the medicine drug!

Patient is saved. House and Wilson eye fuck each other while going out for drinks.

More Posts from Bked0n-lorazepam and Others

1 year ago

Hey,

I wanted to ask if you could write a story with Patrick Hockstetter.

So I thought roughly that the reader could be Beverly’s older sister and also belong to the Loser Club. She used to be bullied by the Bowers Gang! But she and Patrick somehow had feelings for each other! But because of a bet in which Patrick is supposed to seduce the reader, the reader finds out and is angry and sad at the same time as Patrick, who really liked the reader!

The reader moves with her sister Beverly to her aunt's place and Patrick and the reader haven't seen each other since! And then 27 years later, she is also called by Mike like the others from the Loser Club, but what they don’t know is that Mike also called the Bowers Gang to get even more support (All from the Bowers gang except Henry who is in psychiatry). How will the reader react when she sees Patrick again after 27 years?

So in principle, it should be about the second part of IT but this time involving the Bowers Gang!

Patrick and the reader could end up like Beverly and Ben, with a happy ending!!!

An enemy-to-lover story would be cool. 🫶

Ps: As an adult, Patrick is normal, please. And Maybe he could look like Alex Meraz as an adult.

Could the reader please have blonde hair with water-blue eyes? 🫣🫶🫠.

Hope you like it

Your reader 🫶

Hey,
Hey,

I am currently writing this one out!!

4 months ago

"together 💕" t. todoroki mha smau

---------------->

Summary: you, dabi, and my queen toga have plans you can't discuss or the haters will sabotage you 😈

Warnings: language, the usual smoking, you're finally in a relationship‼️

A/N: so so eepy

---------------->

"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"together 💕" T. Todoroki Mha Smau

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1 year ago

"Inseparable" Part Seven

What the actual fuck. Y/N was in the sewers again, except instead of sewer water she stood in it was blood. Mixed with torn and chewed limbs. Human limbs. 

She put her left hand over her mouth and gagged, tears pricking her eyes. The limbs were a complete variety. Rotted, fresh, small, large, bitten and untouched. It reeked sweetly, the dead and decomposed did not smell nice. It was like a slaughterhouse. Scratch that, it was a slaughterhouse.

Bloodied hand prints littered top and bottom of the sewer walls, child and adult, along with arrows pointing one way in between them. The only way was forward. 

Y/N felt something move in her right hand, and she looked down to see a flashlight appear in it. She looked back up when she heard a faint “Penny! What the fuck!” and the sewer was empty and back to normal. All that remained was the arrows pointing forward, and forward she went. 

The water sloshed grossly as she moved on, the squeaking of rats made her flinch whenever she’d accidentally point her flashlight at them. Sighing, she didn’t feel like she was going anywhere. Every arrow was the same, and she only went forward. It was all the same.

She cursed when she pointed the light ahead and came face to bars blocking her way. She grabbed them and shook them, but they didn’t budge at all. She was going to turn back until she felt something grab her foot and pull her down into the trashy water. She screamed and dropped the flashlight as she went, and thrashed her leg to get whatever was grabbing her off.

Y/N couldn’t see anything, so all she could do was kick and hope she would get let go of. After hearing a grunt of whatever grabbed her, her foot was released. She sighed with relief and moved her hand up to move her wet hair out of her face, but then stopped when she remembered that she’d lost the flashlight. 

She let out an angry shriek and thumped her hands down into the water, not knowing where to go from there. She stood up carefully and fixed her hair before she saw it. The red balloon.

It had a bright glowing light in the middle of it, and it moved swiftly past her as she watched it. She let out a confused ‘what?’ when she saw that the bars were gone, and she quickly started to follow the balloon. She didn’t have all that much trust in it, but she didn’t want to go back and get grabbed by whatever the hell was behind her.

She stopped when the balloon did and she watched it grow bigger. All she could do was stare, even though her instincts were telling her to cover her ears. It popped, loudly, and she winced, and then gasped. 

The sewer tunnel had stopped with a ladder leading down, and in front of her was a bright, beautiful circus. She heard giggles and music, and smelled popcorn and sweets. Y/N quickly went down the ladder to explore, and that’s when it all went to shit. When she turned around, the music turned demonic.

The giggles stopped, and it reeked of rot once again; it looked abandoned. She stepped forward and stopped immediately when she heard what resembled a ‘squelch’, and looked down to see a half eaten rat.

She gagged like she did earlier and stepped in front of it, paying more attention to where she was placing her feet. When she reached the circus tent, a huge plank of old wood fell right in front of her, and a single flier was stapled to it. 

“Pennywise the Dancing Clown?” Y/N muttered, taking the flier and folding it to put it in her back pocket, which was weird because her shorts didn’t have pockets.

A soft jingle of bells made her look over to a half closed gate, a blood hand print on the handle. She watched her step as she went to explore it, and yelped out in surprise when she saw someone come out.

“Nicole!” She shrilled, running over to the red head and hugging her tightly. 

“Ow! Ow!” Nicole cried and pulled Y/N off of her, holding her shoulders with a confused look on her face, “What the hell are you doing down here?”

“I-” Y/N paused and looked down, “You know, I don’t actually know.”

“Right.” Nicole said, taking her hands off of her friend. Nicole was very..rugged looking. Her shoulder-length hair was an absolute mess and filled with grime, blood, and knots. Her mascara was running down her face, her lipstick smudged all over.

Her clothes were ripped from what looked like claws, and she had a huge bite mark on her left shoulder. It wasn’t too deep, but it definitely drew blood.

“Oh my God, are you okay? You look like shit.” Y/N told her, concern washed all over her face. Nicole let out a ‘huh’ and looked down at herself and started to nervously laugh a bit.

“Who me? I’m perfect, I’m great. Feeling fresh as a daisy.” She tried to reassure the other girl, a forced smile on her face. Y/N only gave her a deadpanned look before she started shouting at her about how she’s hurt and needs to be looked at by a doctor.

“I’m fine, Y/N!! Jeez, I’m not gonna die or anything. Let’s just focus on figuring out why you’re here.” Nicole raised her arms like she was getting interrogated by the police and looked around the empty circus. Y/N only nodded her head, everything that happened here had been such a shock.

She was very worried about Nicole, though. She looked like she’d been through the shredder. She had a pink flush on her cheeks since Y/N found her, and also a slight limp. Whatever had grabbed Y/N earlier must have gotten to her as well, and it must have ruffed her up quite a lot. 

They were walking around the sorrowed circus when another jingle of bells caught both of their attentions. It came from the wizened, nauseating circus tent in the middle of the huge sewer room.

Nicole and Y/N looked at each other, and Nicole smiled nervously at her before running towards that direction.

“Nicole! Wait up!” Y/N shouted after her, trying to make her way around all the trash that covered the ground floors. She watched Nicole dance through it all like she’d done it before, and it made Y/N think about if she had been down here before.

She struggled a bit and then gave up, sighing heavily as she looked around from where she was stuck. She tried to pull her feet out from the sticky spots they were in, and then she flinched when she heard Nicole’s roaring voice echo throughout the sewers. 


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11 months ago

"Inseparable" Part Eleven

---------------->

Short Little Summary: They try to make pancakes, she gets fed up with him, a little something something occurs during shower time, and Patrick is a very possessive guy. (He gets a little freaky at the end)

Warnings: Vulgar language, groping, suggestive, no actual smut.

Words: 1,997

A/N: Chat, I'm so embarrassed right now, how could I forget this part. Anyway, I think cock-blocking Patrick is my favorite thing to do, it's so much fun. And sorry if you're favorite flower is carnations, I just thought of some random one, and sorry if you like cheese. Have fun reading, feedback is always welcome!!

---------------->

“What the fuck am I doing wrong?” Patrick yelled while holding onto the baking mix box, reading over the directions. Y/N sat on the counter, chewing on the leftover chocolate chips they didn’t use.

Patrick somehow ended up burning the pancakes, twice, so she gave up on breakfast. 

“Maybe stop staring at my tits and actually watch them cook.” She said and swung her legs back and forth, shoving a handful of chocolate chips in her mouth.

He glared at her and threw out the burnt pancakes, putting his hands on his hips and staring at the pan on the stove.

“I’m done with that shit.” Patrick murmured and opened the fridge, a slice of cheese appearing in his hand.

Y/N looked at him distastefully, her hatred of cheese showing all over her face. She hated the texture, the way it smelled, the way it tasted. She hated cheese more than she hated anything in the world, and she would forever stand by the fact that it was a food made by the devil himself.

Patrick slapped the cheese onto the counter next to Y/N, to which she flinched from the sudden loud noise.

“I want pancakes.” She whined, setting down the jar of chocolate chips and leaning back on her hands. Patrick took his eyes away from the cheddar on the counter to look at her, and he sneered.

“So make them your fucking self, lazy bitch.” He counteracted her complaint and picked the cheese slice back up, opening it and pulling off a small piece. His mischievous eyes didn’t stray from her tired ones as he chewed on the cheese like a damn cow.

“Fine, you fucking asshole.” Y/N hopped off the counter and wiped off any chocolate chips that may have been on her clothes before getting the stove and pan ready for pancakes, once again.

She had fixed up all the ingredients, after berating Patrick for somehow forgetting to add eggs into the pancake mix, and stood by the stove, watching her food cook.

Patrick was sitting down in one of the chairs that he stole from the dining room and was chewing on a plastic straw when Y/N had placed a plate of pancakes in front of him.

“Bon appétit.” She smiled exhaustingly, trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. She needed something to wake herself up for, but she didn’t know what.

Well, she didn’t know until she bit into one of her pancakes. “I think I’m gonna take a shower and do my makeup when we’re done eating.” 

“I don’t give a flying fuck.” Patrick was scuffing down the sweet breakfast before pausing and looking at her. “Wait, no. I wanna join.”

“Absolutely not.”

Y/N ran her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes and lathering the shampoo on her head. Showers were relaxing to her, especially feeling clean. They were her favorite thing in the world.

“Damn, did you know that John Lennon’s dead?”

They were her favorite when Patrick wasn’t with her.

“Yes, Patrick. He’s been dead since, like, forever.” Y/N rolled her eyes and put her head under the water, rinsing her hair out. “What the hell are you reading, anyway?”

“I don’t fucking know, some weird ass magazine.” Patrick threw the paper book away from him on the floor and leaned back on the sink he was sitting on, crossing his arms.”You almost done?”

“No.” Y/N gritted her teeth and started putting conditioner in her hair, using a comb to make sure it was even all around her head. He was so impatient that it drove her insane.

She knew he only sat in the bathroom while she showered because he got to see her breasts when she reached out to grab a towel, and it was one of the things about their friendship that pissed her off.

He always wanted to shower with her, whether he’s the one who needed to shower first or her, he always wanted to be there with her.

Y/N grabbed a washcloth and put her body wash on it while she waited for her conditioner to work in her hair, and she started lathering herself with it.

Patrick smelled the berry scented soap and knew she was getting close to done because that was the second to last step in her routine. 

Vanessa rinsed herself off after, along with her hair, and turned off the water. She stared at the shower curtain that blocked Patrick from viewing her naked body, and thought for a second. 

He’d seen her naked before, even though they were all accidental. Or at least that’s what she told herself they were. She had bought a new body butter from the convenience store and wanted to try it out, and usually she’d ask Patrick for a towel and kick him out, but it always took forever to get him to leave.

She also needed her skin to still be wet when she put the lotion on, so she needed to put it on before drying off.

“‘You good in there?”

“Yup.” Y/N responded and opened the curtain, stepping out of the shower.

To say she felt like a piece of meat being dangled in front of a starving lion was an understatement. She knew he was going to stare at her breasts, like always, but his eyes went straight down her body, and he didn’t look up.

“Are you good?” She watched him lick his lips and smile before he finally looked into her eyes.

“Never better, babe.” He leaned his head against the mirror and sighed, his eyes going straight back to her breasts.

Y/N hummed and rang the leftover water out of her hair, grabbing the tub of body butter. She opened it and he watched her like a hawk watching its prey.

She put some on her fingers and ran it up and down her leg, massaging it before moving onto the other. She then moisturized her arms and looked back at Patrick, their eyes meeting each other's.

“‘Should let me do the rest of you.” He suggested with a serious face. Y/N smiled and tilted her head.

“Be my guest.”

Patrick leapt off the counter and put the same amount of lotion that she did on his own fingers, and she flicked her wet hair off her shoulders. She hated the way her hair felt when it was wet, but she’d put up with it for a bit.

He looked her dead in the eyes and rubbed the lotion all over the palms of his cold hands right before attaching them to her breasts.

She gasped at the cold, a soft ‘fuck’ leaving her lips when his cold fingers pinched at her nipples. “I really hope you know I meant my back and all that shit. Not this.”

“I know.” He grinned, continuing to grope her. His hands roamed the rest of her body as well, resting on her ass. 

She deadpanned and he smirked.

“Seriously?”

“You know me well enough to know that this was going to happen no matter what.” 

Y/N was about to say something when he started to move closer to her, using his grip on her ass as leverage to move her towards him as well, until the doorbell rang. His smile fell from his face and fear quickly flashed over hers, and she pushed him against the counter.

“Ow.” He rubbed at the part of his hips where it connected with the edge of the sink and watched her quickly rush to put clothes on. The doorbell rang again, and again, over and over.

“I’m fucking coming!” She yelled back, pulling her pants on and running to the door, Patrick following behind her.

“You definitely will later.” Patrick snickered and she whipped her head back to him to give him a pointed look. He raised his hands up in mock surrender and Y/N opened the door.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” Patrick interrogated the guy at the door before Y/N could even open her mouth. 

“I’m just, uh. I’m here for Y/N.” The guy gestured to Y/N, and that was when the two friends noticed the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

Patrick looked unimpressed and Y/N didn’t know what to do, especially because she didn’t remember him at all. Luckily, she didn’t have to ask him who he was because Patrick was already on that case.

“And you fucking are?” He leaned his body against the side of the door frame and put an arm around Y/N's shoulder. 

The guy grimaced at Patrick and told him his name, “Duke Adams, and you are?”

“Patrick Hockstetter.” The two men held a stare down for a while before Y/N remembered who the guy was.

“Oh, you’re the guy I danced with during freshman year,” She pursed her lips, “You ditched me for Sandra Kellies.”

Duke cleared his throat and looked down at his shoes in embarrassment, and mostly to avoid Patrick’s burning gaze.

Patrick didn’t have a good feeling about the boy, although he never had a good feeling about anyone who would potentially date Y/N. 

“That uh, isn’t exactly a proud moment of my life.” Duke nervously chuckled and looked at Y/N with the sweetest eyes she’d ever seen. She remembered him as the worst guy of her life when she started dating, but for some reason, his eyes made it seem like he’d changed. They held a softer, kinder gaze than when they first met. “These are for you.”

He handed her the bouquet and stepped back a bit, glancing at Patrick. He never let his hardened gaze fall from Duke, and he reminded Duke of a guard dog.

Or more like one with early stages of rabies because he was sure if he didn’t leave soon, Patrick would start growling at him.

“Anyway, my house phone is in the tag, if you ever wanna talk again. I’ve missed you.” Duke smiled and stepped off Y/N's porch, getting into his car and driving away. 

She watched him go and waved him goodbye, her own smile clear on her face. She looked up at Patrick and noticed a look of hatred in his eyes, one she’d seen whenever she’d introduce a guy to him.

He was a possessive and jealous man, she knew that. Even though they weren’t dating or anything, she sure as hell was going to have her fun with him.

“Maybe I should call him.” She taunted and moved his arm off of her and walked back into the house, Patrick following her trail like a dog.

“The fuck are you talking about? He broke your heart, he sure as hell is gonna do it again.” He tried to reason, running up the stairs with her. She placed the bouquet of flowers on one of the small tables in the hallway, to which he noticed what flowers they were.

“They aren’t even your favorite, he got you fucking carnations.” He scoffed and stopped following her when she reached the bathroom and turned around, blocking his way of entering with her.

“Maybe I secretly like them.” She winked, and he huffed out a laugh.

“Don’t try that shit with me.” He put his arm up to hold onto the top of the door frame.

“Hm, oh well. It’s my call anyway, not yours.” She shrugged and smiled, closing the door on his face.

“What the fuck?” He yelled, wanting to continue what they were doing before they were interrupted. 

“Go jerk off or something, I don’t want you to distract me!” She yelled back and he heard the blow dryer turn on.

He groaned and pushed off the wall, making his way to Y/N's bedroom. He sat down on the soft sheets of the bed and looked around, trying to find something to do. His eyes laid on the familiar purple piece of fabric in her laundry bin, and he grinned.

Maybe he’d take up on her suggestion.


Tags
1 year ago

Hii! i’d love to read some TWD carol x reader! what about after loss r starts distancing herself. doing what needs to be done but quietly and away from everyone. carol tries to step in and talk to her but r snaps “you’re not my mother. just leave me alone” maybe daryl goes to talk to r and then r confides in carol. angsty and fluff pls and thank yooou

Hello, I'd be happy to write this out! Just please know that it might take a hot minute bc I have some school to attend to, but other than that it will be on its way <33


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1 year ago

absolutely seething because I can never find any good fanfiction for a girl who isn’t some timid little fuck puppet. Like I get that some girls are hyper feminine but oh my god I just need a reader who can kick ass and hold their own. I’m not 4 foot 2 and 3 pounds I’m a decent sized female who could easily fill out the shirts of men I thirst over. I’m not cutely strolling into the room in my little pink sundress and white sandals, no dude I’m stomping into that room in jeans and a t shirt combat boots and saying the most disgusting dick joke you’ve ever heard. Sorry guys I’m not a girly girl


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3 months ago

"on the run" t. todoroki mha smau

---------------->

Summary: You and Touya get chased by U.A kids 😨

Warnings: Vulgar language, mentioned "plug"

A/N: your pookies back and in business

---------------->

"on The Run" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"on The Run" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"on The Run" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"on The Run" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"on The Run" T. Todoroki Mha Smau
"on The Run" T. Todoroki Mha Smau

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11 months ago

Hello me again could you do something with negan where he is just so soft with his gf after she has a bad dream. Or something like that

And he just rocks her to sleep in his arms and brush his fingers through her hair

A/N: Tried my best to make it sweet, hope you like it!

--

Thunder echoed against the sanctuary walls as lightning guided her way down the halls. She was having rough sleep for days, the same damn dream haunted her when she closed her eyes.

She’d run, run, and run, but she’d never go anywhere. Someone would hold her still at the end, and then whatever was chasing her would kill her.

She didn’t know what to do, or who to go to for nightmares. She thought about going to Eugene to see if he’d make her some kind of pill, but the idea of explaining to him why she couldn’t sleep made her cringe.

It seemed childish to be kept awake for something so stupid, so she held back. But now, after having the same outcome for five restless nights, she decided to do something about it.

It wasn’t the greatest idea, and it was her last resort, but she needed some kind of comfort.

Hearing the soft padding of her own feet made her a bit anxious, even though she shouldn’t be. After the world went to shit, she found the sanctuary and took refuge there for a bit.

But since Negan liked her so much, she stayed. He asked her to be one of his wives, and after weeks of arguments and screaming matches, they both compromised on her being his girlfriend instead. 

Now here she was, standing outside of Negan’s bedroom door in her pajamas, playing with her fingers. She had no reason to be nervous, they were dating for fucks sake.

But a small feeling inside of her felt scared he might judge her. She was embarrassed to be scared of what was in her head, but she didn’t know what else to do.

She softly knocked twice on the door, waiting for a response. All she got was a few grumbles and rustling before the door swung open.

“This better be fucking good-” Negan opened the door and tilted his head when he saw his girlfriend, “The hell are you doin’ up? ‘Thought you went to bed two fucking hours ago.”

“Can I come in please?” She mumbled, not daring to meet his eyes. 

A couple seconds of silence overcame the both of them before Negan opened the rest of the door and nodded for her entrance. She walked in and took in the room around her, and Negan closed the door and leaned against it in front of her. 

“What’s up with you?” He crossed his arms and watched her bite her lip and look at the ground.

“I don’t wanna talk about it…Can we just.. chill out?” She finally looked at him, tears forming in her bright eyes. Negan stared at her before taking pity and making his way to his bed. She stood there until he spoke up.

“You gonna get in or what?” He lifted the blanket to make room for her and she smiled, getting comfortable next to him. 

He sighed and turned off the lamp on the bedside table, darkness enveloping them both. She curled up into his chest and listened to him breathe, counting his heartbeats over and over.

“Do I get to know what’s got you so stuck in this dumpster fire or what?” Negan's voice rumbled out his throat, and he placed his hand on the low of her back, rubbing his thumb in circles on it.

“Had a bad dream.” She mumbled, burying her face deeper into him. It was now that she noticed he had no shirt on and only wore his sweatpants. 

“Wanna explain it to me?” Negan hummed, putting his chin on her head. She shook her head and he sighed, kissing her forehead.

“Go to sleep, sweetheart.” He reached his hand up and ran it through her soft hair, carefully making sure it didn’t get caught in his fingers. “We’ve got a long ass day tomorrow.”

It only took a couple of minutes for Negan to hear his girlfriend’s soft snores as she laid on his chest, and he smiled slightly.

Whatever was keeping her awake obviously left her mind the minute she settled down, and now they both listened to each other’s breathing, comfortable in the presence of one another.


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3 months ago

"i don't hate you" k. bakugo mha smau

---------------->

Summary: He might hate you, he might not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ All you know is that you are on cloud 9

Warnings: Vulgar language, weed

A/N: This was so late, sorry guys 😭

---------------->

"i Don't Hate You" K. Bakugo Mha Smau
"i Don't Hate You" K. Bakugo Mha Smau
"i Don't Hate You" K. Bakugo Mha Smau
"i Don't Hate You" K. Bakugo Mha Smau
"i Don't Hate You" K. Bakugo Mha Smau
"i Don't Hate You" K. Bakugo Mha Smau

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