You Were, Foolishly, Fatally, More Special To Me Than I Ever Was To You.

this user has severe acid reflux disease

I've spoken to my ex every night since his first day of work...We've spoken over the phone twice. Last night/this morning (from 23.30 to like, 3 ish) and two nights ago from like, 1 am to almost 5... His voice is so damn fucking familiar cuz we used to call at night and when we woke up and he would sing me to sleep and when I've been saying I’m tired...he just sings, really badly (cuz he rlly cant sing that well, but its still so...cute) and like it kinda just hurts but in my mind I'm so tired to even say anything and it just feels so nice and so...normal. My friend asked if I wanted him back and I didn’t know what to say cuz...yeah I do but at the same time I don’t.  Its because I'm so sick of him, but all I want is to be able to fall asleep on his chest, his hand playing with my hair, listening to his heartbeat, tapping my fingers on his chest to the beat of "Bam Bam" by Camila Cabello and Ed Sheeran while its light outside but he has his shutters closed...and its just so peaceful. Just him murmuring that he loves me...and I'm so tired to even take it in but I say it back because that’s how I feel, with my whole heart. I hate that I can remember every single day I spent with him. I miss holding his hand, I miss hugging him and breathing in his scent that I got so damn used to. I miss him, but not in any way you would expect. I miss when he used to come over and mess around with my skateboard in my hallway on the rug. I miss how he would always try to pick me up and that I could feel his arms shaking. I miss him kissing me, how full his lips feel on mine. I miss moments where I would quote something from a show or movie he really liked and how he would kiss me and tell me how much he loved me. I thought I was over him.  I thought I’d be able to talk to him easily without intrusive thoughts. I guess I was really wrong. I even miss our song...

Songs that give me flashbacks of a better time and have a deeper meaning to me: Bonnie & Clyde - YUQI Escape - Rupert Holmes Some Heroes Don’t Wear Capes - Callum Beattie Weak - AJR This Afternoon - Nickelback Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift Prom Queen - Beach Bunny Rumors - NEFFEX Everybody Talks - Neon Trees Mr. Blue Sky - ELO Drivers License - jxdn Heaven Is A Halfpipe - OPM Cheerleader - OMI (Felix Jaehn Remix) Oh, Death - SUGR? La Di Die - Nessa Barrett, jxdn

“I don’t miss you, I miss the misery,” “You said you just needed space and so I gave it,” “I’m so sick of myself,” “One day wake up and be bored with mine,” “Oh baby I, I hope you hear a song, that makes you sing along and gets you thinkin’ bout her,” “Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats,” “I miss the late nights, don’t miss you at all,” “Dated a girl that I hate for the attention,” “I wanna be you so bad and I don’t even know you,” “Stupid boy making me so sad,” “She’s everything you’re ever gonna need,” “Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo,” I’ve been listening to songs on repeat that make me think that maybe loving you was a mistake. I don’t think all the emotions, all the memories...all the...all the love we shared, those...those weren’t mistakes. I still love you. You know that though. I already told you. You hate it because you can’t say it back, and maybe me not saying it would be better for us both but damn it I really do love you.

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- Angst Prompts -

-> A list of angsty dialogue prompts. A handful are inspired by songs from various artists. Feel free to mix and match or change parts of the prompt a little to fit what you're writing!

1. "And I promised us both that it would never come to this."

2. "Well, why don't you look where we are now."

3. "How did this happen?"

4. "I don't think I - we can do this."

5. "I've blown your cover."

6. "Can... can you hear me?"

7. "It seems I'm buying flowers for a lost cause..."

8. “It shouldn’t have been you!”

9. “No more. Please.”

10. "Look where your carelessness got us!"

11. "You still have them/it? Why?"

12. "Why are you here of all places?"

13. "You hurt me"

14. "You’ve become so predictable…”

15. "Put the bottle down, would you?”

16. "How long before you quit?"

17. "When will you understand!?"

18. "This is a waste of time..."

19. "I didn't mean to..."

20. "This was no accident. It was deliberate."

21. "Don't you get it!? We can't go back!"

<Alt Text:> This System Has Really Bad Trauma From Sysmeds, So Please DNI If You Are One

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Requests Are Open! :D

this user suffers from severe hand tremors

i love that my notes range from 0 to 27