really enjoying all the videos Muslims have been posting of their cats looking like this
when the humans are up at 4 am for suhoor
writing? oh, iβm definitely writing. in my head. during the most inconvenient times. like in the shower or when iβm about to fall asleep. actual typing? no, no, we donβt do that here.
that "OKAY SO" before someone u love starts infodumping........ most blessed feeling in the world
people who don't experience hyperfixation don't know what it feels like to hyperfixate so much on something that it becomes not only your subject of obsession but also your source of happiness and literally the main reason why you still keep going; literal source of strength and life.
shoutout to my favorite fictional characters, favorite people, favorite ships, favorite movies, favorite tv shows, fanfics and archive of our own
get stabbin, folks
19 October 2023: In Gaza, we have grown accustomed to war
Horrific experiences of death and destruction have permanently impacted Palestiniansβ culture, language and collective memory. βIs it war again?β asks my little Amal, 7, memories of the previous Israeli assaults still fresh in her mind.
The wording of the question shows the maturity she has been forced to develop. Last year, Amal asked her mum if it was βanother war.β
Yes, it is war again in Gaza! In Gaza, we have grown accustomed to war. War has become a recurrent reality, a nightmare that wonβt go away. A brutal normality. War has become like a grumpy old relative, one that we canβt stand but canβt rid ourselves of either.
The children pay the heaviest price. A price of fear and nonstop trauma that is reflected in their behaviors and their reactions. Itβs estimated that over 90 percent of Palestinian children in Gaza show signs of trauma. But also, specialists claim there is no post-war trauma in Gaza as the war is still ongoing.
My grandmother would tell me to put on a heavy sweater because it would rain. And it would rain! She, like all Palestinian elders, had a unique sense, an understanding of the earth, wind, trees and rain. The elders knew when to pick olives for pickling or for oil. I was always envious of that.
Sorry, Grandma. We have instead become attuned to the vagaries of war. This heavy guest visits us uninvited, unwelcomed and undesired, perches on our chests and breaths, and then claims the lives of many, in the hundreds and thousands.
A Palestinian in Gaza born in 2008 has witnessed seven wars: 2008β2009, 2012, 2014, 2021, 2022, 2023A and 2023B. And as the habit goes in Gaza, people can be seven wars old, or four wars old. My little Amal, born in 2016, now holds a BA in wars, having lived through four destructive campaigns. In Gaza, we often speak about wars in terms of academic degrees: a BA in wars, an MA in wars, and some might humorously refer to themselves as PhD candidates in wars.
Our discourse has significantly changed and shifted. At night, when Israel particularly intensifies the bombardment, itβs a βpartyβ: βThe party has begun.β βIt will be a horrific party tonight.β And then there is βThe Bag,β capital T and capital B. This is a bag that is hurriedly prepared to contain the cash, the IDs, the birth certificates and college diplomas. The aim is to grab the kids and one item when there is a threat of evacuation.
The collective memories and culture of Palestinians in Gaza have been substantially impacted by these horrific experiences of war and death. Most Gazans have lost family members, relatives, or loved ones or have had their homes damaged or destroyed. Itβs estimated that these wars and the escalations between them have claimed the lives of over 9,000 (it was 7,500 when I started drafting this last week!) Palestinians and destroyed over 60,000 housing units.
Death and war. War and Death. These two are persona non grata, yet we canβt force them to leave. To let us be.
Palestinian poet Tamim Al-Barghouti summarizes the relationship between death and the Palestinians that war brings (my translation):
It was not wise of you, Death, to draw near.
It was not wise to besiege us all these years.
It was not wise to dwell this close,
So close weβve memorized your visage
Your eating habits
Your time of rest
Your mood swings
Your heartβs desires
Even your frailties.
O, Death, beware!
Donβt rest that you tallied us.
We are many.
And we are still here
[Seventy] years after the invasion
Our torches are still alight
Two centuries
After Jesus went to his third grade in our land
We have known you, Death, too well.
O, Death, our intent is clear:
We will beat you,
Even if they slay us, one and all.
Death, fear us,
For here we are, unafraid.
23 October 2023: Five stages of coping with war in Gaza
Our familiarity with war in Gaza has led us to develop a unique perspective and unique coping mechanisms.
We can identify five major emotional stages that Gazans go through during these grim conflicts. The stages are denial, fear, silence, numbness, hope, despair and submission.
This is day 16 and Israel has killed more than 5,000 Palestinians (many are still unaccounted for under the rubble), including over 2,000 Palestinian children, Gaza authorities tell us. More than 15,000 were injured and over 25,000 Palestinian homes were destroyed. And Israel says it is ready for ground invasion.
Stage one: Denial
In the early stages of a crisis, there is often a sense of denial. We convince ourselves that this time wonβt lead to war. People are tired of the recurring conflicts, and both sides may appear too preoccupied to engage in warfare. As missiles fall and soar, we maintain a form of partial denial, hoping that this time will not be as lengthy or devastating as past wars.
No, this time itβs not going to be war. Everyone is tired of wars. Israel is too busy to go to war.
Palestinians are too exhausted and too battered to engage in a war. It could just last five days, give or take, we hope.
Stage two: Fear
Soon, denial turns to fear as the reality of another war sets in. Gaza is paralyzed as civilians, including children, are attacked by Israeli bombs. The pictures and videos of massacres, of homes obliterated with the families inside, of high rise buildings toppled like dominoes turn the denial into utter terror.
Every strike, especially at night, means all the children wake up crying and weep. As parents, we fear for our kids and we fear we canβt protect our loved ones.
Stage three: Silence and numbness
This is when Israel particularly intensifies the bombing of civilian homes. Stories are interrupted. Prayers are cut short. Meals are left uneaten. Showers are abandoned.
Therefore, amid the chaos and danger Israel brings, many in Gaza, especially children, withdraw into silence. They find solace in solitude as means of coping with the overwhelming emotion and uncertainty that surrounds them. Silence prevails.
Then numbness follows. As people attempt to protect themselves from the constant onslaught of distressing news, they grow indifferent. Because we could die anyway, no matter where we go. Emotional numbness sets in, as individuals attempt to detach from their emotions to survive.
Stage four: Hope
In the midst of despair, glimmers of hope may emerge. Even in the darkest moments, Gazans may hold onto the belief Israel might at least kill fewer people, bomb fewer places, and damage less. The most hopeful of us wish for a lasting ceasefire or an end to the siege or even the occupation. But this is merely hope. And hope is dangerous.
We hope that politicians will man up. We hitch our hope to the masses taking to the streets to reassure their politicians and warn they will be punished in future elections if they support Israeli aggression against Palestinians in Gaza.
Stage five: Despair and submission
Unfortunately, hope can often be fleeting, and many Gazans have experienced recurring cycles of despair. The repeated loss of life, homes and security lead to deep feelings of helplessness.
In the final stage, there is a sense of submission as Gazans accept the reality that they are unable to change the situation. That they are left alone. That the world has abandoned us. That Israel can kill and destroy at large with impunity. This is a stage marked by endurance, as Palestinians strive to adapt and persevere in the face of ongoing challenges.
These stages of war have become an unfortunate part of life in Gaza, shaping the resilience and perseverance of the Palestinian people in the face of unimaginable hardships imposed by the Israeli occupation.
27 October 2023: What itβs like when Israel bombs your building
I have six children. And so far we have survived seven major Israeli escalations, unscathed. We are an average family. My wife, Nusayba, is a housewife, I have two children in college and my youngest child, Amal, is 7. In Gaza, Amal is already four wars old.
We are an average family in Gaza, but we have had our fair share of Israeli death and destruction.
So far, since the early 1970s, I have lost 20 (and 15 last week) members of my extended family due to Israeli aggression.
In 2014, Israel destroyed our family home of seven flats, killing my brother Mohammed.
In 2014, Israel killed about 20 of my wifeβs family including her brother, her sister, three of her sisterβs kids, her grandfather and her cousin. And destroyed several of my in-lawsβ homes.
Combined, my wife and I have lost over fifty 50 members to Israeli war and terror.
2023 war on Gaza
As the bombs fall and Israel targets sleeping families in their homes, parents are torn between several issues.
Should we leave? But go where, when Israel targets evacuees on their way and targets the areas they evacuate to?
Should we stay with relatives? Or should our relatives stay with us, whose home is relatively βsafe?β We can never be sure. Itβs been more than 75 years of brutal occupation β and over six major Israeli military onslaughts in the past 15 years β and we have so far failed to understand Israelβs brutality and mentality of death and destruction.
And then there is the fear of what to do if β when β we are bombed. We try to evade them. But how can you evade the bombs when Israel throws three or four or five consecutive bombs at the same home.
The big question Palestinian households debate is whether we should sleep in the same room so that when we die, we die together, or whether we should sleep in different rooms so some of us may survive.
The answer is always that we need to sleep in the living room together. If we die, we die together. No one has to deal with the heartbreak.
No food. No water. No electricity.
This 2023 war is different. Israel has intensified using hunger as a weapon. By completely besieging Gaza and cutting off the electricity and water supplies and not allowing aid or imports, Israel is not only putting Palestinians on a diet, but also starving them.
In my household, and we are a well-off family, my wife and I sat with the children and explained the situation to them, especially the little ones: βWe need to ration. We need to eat and drink a quarter of what we usually consume. Itβs not that we do not have money, but food is running out and we barely have water.β
And good luck explaining to your 7-year-old that she canβt have her two morning eggs and instead she will be having a quarter of a bomb! (Israel later bombed the eggs.)
As a parent, I feel desperate and helpless. I canβt provide the love and protection I am supposed to give my kids.
Instead of often telling my kids βI love you,β I have been repeating for the past two weeks:
βKids, eat less. Kids, drink less.β And I imagine this being my last thing I say to them and it is devastating.
Israel bombs our building
If we had a little food last week, now we barely have any because Israel struck our home with two missiles while we were inside. And without prior warning!
My wife Nusayba had already instructed the kids to run if a bombing happened nearby. We never expected [our building] to be hit. And that was a golden piece of advice.
I was hosting four families of relatives in my flat. Most of them were kids and women.
We ran and ran. We carried the little ones and grabbed the small bags with our cash and important documents that Gazans keep at the door every time Israel wages a war.
We escaped with a miracle, with only bruises and tiny scratches. We checked and found everyone was fine. And then we walked to a nearby UN school shelter, which was in an inhuman condition. We crammed into small classrooms with other families.
With that, we lost our last sense of safety. We lost our water. We lost our food and the remaining eggs that Amal loves.
We are an average Palestinian family. But we have had our fair share of Israeli death and destruction. In Gaza, no one is safe. And no place is safe. Israel could kill all 2.3 million of us and the world would not bat an eye.
(copied from an ask I got) Hi. choppedreviewsong, who you recently reblogged from, is a scammer. They stole their images from an actual fundraiser, and they've been trying to scam people under different names from months. I recommend deleting your reblog and reporting and blocking their account. You can check out kyra45 's blog for information on how to spot scams in the future
Thank you for letting me knowβ€
lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I donβt owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. Theyβre always passing urges, but itβs disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brainβs spent so long thinking only about suicide that itβs forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But Iβm trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
'πΉππ ππππ πΆππΉ π»ππ π ππΆπΈπ!' π£9, β, She/They π»πππππππππ πππππππ π ππ πππππππ π±ππ³, ππππππ, π΄πππ: πππ πππππππ, π°ππππ£(!!!) πππ. {πΈ'ππ ππππ πππππ ππ πππ ππππ’ πππππππ πππ.} π²πππππ ππ ππ πππππππ’ πππππ’ πππ πππ ππππ ππ πππ πππ ππ'π πππππ ππ πππ π πππππ
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