He Can't Help It! He Loves Being The Joke. Besides, It Means Mandatory Clean-up By Their Favorite Person.

I genuinely despise this new information you have bestowed upon me

i don't like the fact that the eiffel tower can stretch. i don't like that

Deadpool x F!Reader SMUT!!!

PART 2 TO THE WOLVERINE SMUT!

Enemies to lovers straight up porn fighting.

After you had sex with Wolverine, you're cuddling. And next thing you know, the door to his bedroom bursts open. And there's Wade. Seeing you and Wolverine after you fucked. Wolverine cheated, and Wade just caught you after the act.

You hop out of bed butt ass naked, looking at Wade. He comes closer.* "Square up, hoe. That's my man," he slaps you in the face. You guys start fighting until you're on the floor with him. Somehow, Wade's pants rip, and his dick pops out. "Are you hard?" You ask him.

"Yeah, what about it? Come suck it," he replies, putting his dick in your mouth. And so that's what you do. Wolverine is still watching from the bed, doing nothing. You suck Wade's dick, giving him the triple gauc gauc 69,000 like a pro. He grunts, pushing your head down on his cock. "Nutting in this bitch," he moans, cumming in your mouth moments later.

You swallow all the swimmers, sitting up. "Okay, now put it in my butt. Don't be a pussy," you say, bending over. And Wade's not one to back down from a level 10 gyatt. His hands go to your hips, and he looks down, spitting on his cock and jerking it a few times before pushing it in your ass. "You're low-key bad at that, Wade."

He slaps your ass, thrusting harder. You moan, arching your back. That's what he likes. Wolverine could never arch like you. Not even close. Wade squeezes your hips tighter, cumming in your asshole. "Freak," he grunts, getting up and pulling you with him. He bitch slaps you and then gets in the bed next to Wolverine. "Your turn now..."

Sometimes I forget a lot of people who follow my writing blog also follow this one so it startles me when you guys just...

Suddenly emerge from your fanfiction pits of darkness and respond to one of my wildly weird posts

So jumping in here with a story time, stories with Flaire

This is actually super important. And it's never too late to teach a dog or a cat this - it's just a little bit more difficult if they're older

But basically, this stray cat followed me home one day and I've kept him ever since - his name is Binx and he's just the sweetest guy ever. A little shit but sweet.

So when he followed me home, he was so young his balls hadn't even dropped yet - and he followed me home for 30 minutes after I walked my friend home, just meowing at me and walking ahead of me if I started walking too fast. But when I eventually got home, he stayed on my porch for awhile before I got him fixed and brought inside

So he didn't get along with my two boys Cool Cat and Lucky. Scratching and hissing, and started playing rough with me. Scratching so hard I'd bleed. So what I did is when he did that, is stop and show him where he scratched and start ignoring him until he'd nuzzle against me. He gets along with my other cats just fine now and plays fine.

Now let's compare this to my mom's dog Buddy. Buddy is a very friendly dog, an American Eskimo who she never taught how to not bite hard.

I mean, when he was a puppy I would try everything to get him to stop biting me so hard - but he wouldn't listen and my mom would baby him. He is so sweet and kind with strangers but he bites hard when playing, leaving marks and scratches with his teeth. I mean I even had to go so far as to bite his ear when he was a puppy when he bit me (not hard. I'm not a monster, I basically just put my teeth on the tip of his thick ass ear and applied enough pressure for him to be uncomfortable but not in pain) but since my mother never properly taught him and instead babied him, he still bites hard when playing

So this is VERY important.

Source: [x]

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Growing up is realizing that taxes are real and you will get arrested if you do not pay them

💘🐶💛¡¡Flying hearts day is here!!💜🐱💘

I went to Golden Corral tonight, really good food, but as I was getting my food this random old woman said "ugh, look at that man wearing a dress".

That man was me. Wearing my black tights and a blue and white striped dress.

The only issue is I'm not a man.

Alright which one of my mutuals is putting kinky shit on my For You page

Hi sorry I hadn't said anything to you in a while! Had to deal with life for a bit so sorry if there are times when I'm silent!

No it's alright!! Just got a tad bit worried

Random thing

So I recently just got back into helluva boss, and 1. It feels gayer 2. Less serious when it should be but also

Vizviepop, mind explaining why mammon and Asmodeus act like exes