I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!!!

the duality of man

*teary eyed* “i love you both so munch— i mean much”

The Definitive* Waist Ranking of the 2025 Grid

*not definitive at all but this did take literal hours of my life

Back markers:

Gabriel Bortoleto

The rookies are at a disadvantage because of the lack of photos, but everything about what I could find suggests this man was drawn with right angles only. Also, highly cursed image ahead, this is your only warning.

Pierre Gasly

Shaped like a Lego brick. Too many abs, not enough waist. Note the presence of an actual waist chasing him down. Nil point.

Isack Hadjar

This is again more for lack of evidence - the racing suit definitely wants me to think there's a nipped in waist there, but other shots leave me thinking he's real solid.

George Russell

Another victim of abs for days. This hurts me as much as it hurts you. The flare of hips is not enough to save him.

Oliver Bearman

Probably my first controversial ranking, but not the last. I know, you picture him and there's a tiny grabbable waist, right? Miniscule. But it's a lie perpetuated by his ridiculous Superman-shaped shoulders. I fear as he bulks up for a full time drive, we're going to lose what little waist we have.

Midfield

Nico Hulkenberg

Could use a little more dad in the dad bod, you know? Not a lot of curve, but a smidge of something to hold onto, keeping him clear of the back markers

Liam Lawson

Go girl, give us nothing! I think maybe, maybe, you could squeeze past him and tuck your palm to the slight suggestion of a curve there, but why would you? To be fair, he's suffering from comparisons to teammates past and present.

Fernando Alonso

We remember what we once had, and are gladdened by it. But those days are lost, under the shadow of night, as if they never were. Exceptional evidence of what once was provided by @lights-out-away-we-go

Lewis Hamilton

Lewis Hamilton is another case where the shoulders are doing a lot of work creating the illusion of a waist, and then slim hips are dispelling that. He does not have a very grabbable waist. This does not matter, because Lewis Hamilton could wear a sack and still draw the eye.

Lance Stroll

This one surprised me. I really thought the exceptional arse on this man would push him high up into the points. But... eh. It's fine? Probably better in the middle of the winter break when he softens up a bit.

Lando Norris

Initially a strong contender, but I actually think it's the grey panels of the fireproofs doing all the work here. Excellent illusion, but grabbable? Not particularly

Carlos Sainz

From the back, exceptional. From the front, almost nothing. This is baffling to me and scientists everywhere.

Alex Albon

I'm putting Alex in the points because even though I can't find good photographical evidence of the waist, I believe it is there. It's my Loch Ness Monster. Alex Albon has a grabbable waist and you won't convince me otherwise

Esteban Ocon

Now, this noodle does have a waist, but it's not the most grabbable. He's also getting an hourglass bonus from marginally wider hips and a decent bust (more on that advantage later). But that waist looks very solid, probably feels like pinching marble, no give. He is at least outscoring Pierre.

Kimi Antonelli

We unfortunately have strong evidence of Kimi's grababilty. This should be illegal. Until the FIA clarifies the regulations, though, he's high in the points.

this blog hates donald trump

I’m bored have at it

Reblog if you'll PUBLICLY answer anything in your ask right now.

Im game

Thank you @straight-fucking-laugh and everyone who got me to 500 reblogs!

at this stage in spencer’s life he’s living out being a horny teen, because he was 12 in high school

Dune crack!au (5)

Feyd: Hey, Paul.

Paul: No.

Feyd: Husband dear?

Paul: Fine. What do you want now?

Feyd: Can I have my knives back?

Paul: No.

Feyd: Pretty please?

Paul: Still no.

Feyd: It’s been 2 months! I want my precious Giedi Prime knives back-

Paul: Not until you say sorry to Gurney and Stilgar.

Feyd: I did nothing wrong! I’m innocent!

Paul: You deliberately stole all of their clothes and made them into freaking tents and curtains!

Feyd: Actually, it was our dear

Princess Irulan who stole them.

Paul: That’s not the point!

Feyd: The point is that I, the gorgeous Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was the one who made the sparkly sand proof tents and curtains-

Paul: Ugh. Muad’Dib, help me.

Feyd: My Lankiveil sewing skills are superior to-

Paul: F*ck your stupid Lankiveil sewing skills! Tell Gurney that you’re sorry right now!

Feyd: It was extremely hot and Irulan and I needed new curtains!

Paul: You could’ve just asked me for new ones instead of stealing Gurney’s galactic underpants-

Feyd: And ruin our yearly budget?! Our monthly savings?! The Arrakeen economy?! Not on my watch, husband. Not on my watch!

Paul: Feyd, babe, calm down-

Feyd: I want my knives back, Paul!

Paul: Give me one good reason-

Feyd: My daddy gave them to me.

Paul: Apologize first!

Feyd: I’m your wife!

Paul: And I’m the Emperor of the known universe!

Feyd: Fine! keep them! Burn them! Throw them away! I don’t care!

Paul: Feyd, listen-

Feyd: But I’m telling Irulan that you’re abusing your powers again.

Paul: No, not her! Don’t tell her-

Feyd: Irulan! Irulan, Paul is being a tyrannical control freak again!

Irulan: *runs in* Feyd, babe, are we in trouble?!

Feyd: Muad’Dib, no.

Irulan: Did our husband find out about our “math” business with Stilgar and his Fremen friends?!

Feyd: No, not yet.

Irulan: Oh, thank Muad’Dib.

Paul: But I’m Muad’Dib-

Feyd: Paul said that he’ll cancel our super secret ✨Music Nights with Shai-Hulud✨ and exclusive ✨Desert Festivals✨ again!

Irulan: *glares at Paul* You evil tyrant, how could you?!

Paul: I- I love ✨Music Nights with Shai-Hulud✨!

Feyd: You don’t even sing!

Paul: I do! I swear I do!

Irulan: Oh, stop changing the freaking subject, Paul!

Paul: Last I’ve checked, we’re still on the same page!

Irulan: You promised me that Feyd and I can sing freely in the desert with Stilgar every other night!

Feyd: Our dear husband also told me that the members of House Corrino are just a bunch of nerdy losers!

Paul: I- I was drunk!

Irulan: Chani! Chani, Paul is abusing his witchy powers again!

Chani: *walks in* Yo, what’s up, losers? How’s life?

Irulan: Our “beloved” husband said that your desert hair sucks!

Chani: He did not-

Irulan: He did!

Feyd: We’re telling the truth.

Paul: Chani bear, we all know that our dear “Drunk Irulan” and “Freaky Feyd-Rautha” are clearly lying-

Irulan: Drunk Irulan?! Who the f*ck is Drunk Irulan?!

Chani: Lol.

Feyd: Chani bear, your “Paular bear” also told me that you smell like a dying Shai-Hulud.

Chani: A what?!

Feyd: A dying ugly ass Shai-Hulud.

Paul: Chani-

Chani: Somebody is sleeping with the sandworms tonight!

Feyd: Yeah! The sandworms!

Irulan: Let’s go sandworms!

Paul: Ughhhh! I knew it! I knew I should’ve stayed single.

SPENCER REID NSFW MASTERLIST

If you’re interested in being a part of my taglist, click here and fill the form.

If you want to send a request, make sure to read my guidelines first.

If you're looking for MGG'S OTHER ROLES MASTERLIST, you can find it here.

If you're looking for SPENCER REID SFW MASTERLIST, you can find it here.

If you're looking for SPENCER REID GENERAL MASTERLIST, you can find it here.

* refers to Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader; ** refers to Spencer Reid x GN!Reader.

SMUT 18+

Any minor found interacting with my smut fics, will be blocked. I won't hesitate, so don't even try.

DOM!SPENCER FICS

🗡️ Come on, baby (touch me)*: Y/N has always had a crush on her Microbiology professor, Doctor Reid. What happens if he finds out? 

🗡️ Soft breath*: Spencer Reid teaches a seminar in New York. Y/N is one of the attendees. What happens if they meet in a bar?

🗡️ A helping hand*: Y/N has a terrible headache, Spencer knows exactly how to help her out.

🗡️ Teacher's pet*: Professor Spencer Reid notices Reader is distracted during his classes. He decides to teach her a lesson on how good girls behave until.. she takes over.

🗡️ Mirror*: Spencer doesn’t like brats. If you act like a brat, you’re going to get treated like one.

🗡️ Devil eyes*: Spencer, dressed up as a devil, is drawn to the angel dancing around him at the club.

🗡️ Let me love you*: Spencer takes care of his girlfriend after a bad day at work.

🗡️ In good hands*: Post Prison Spencer teaches you how to give him a handjob.

🗡️ No time to die*: Reader reflects on her relationship with her serial killer boyfriend, ex FBI agent Spencer Reid.

🗡️ Caught in the act*: Reader is trying to have some fun all by herself, but her boyfriend Spencer comes home earlier - and he’s not alone. He's with Luke.

🗡️ Perfect seat*: Reader gets needy while cockwarming Professor!Spencer.

🗡️ Movie night*: Spencer invites Reader over for their usual Movie Night, but the night takes a different turn when a spicy scene comes on.

🗡️ A taste of sweet medicine*: Reader hates her neighbours. Spencer wants to help her get her revenge on them.

🗡️ Conflict of interest*: The tension builds up between Spencer Reid and SWATAgent!Reader on the field, until it finally snaps.

🗡️ Human*: Reader begs Spencer to make her feel something the only way he knows how. Based on the song 'Touch' by Daughter.

🗡️ Flashed*: It’s too hot to wear clothes at home, so Reader walks around in her underwear. Spencer loses his train of thoughts at the sight.

🗡️ Early mornings*: Spencer spends Valentine’s Day’s morning with his girlfriend.

🗡️ War of hearts*: Y/N puts her life at risk to save Spencer; he freaks out at the though of losing his best friend, and the woman he's in love with. Based on a request (coming soon).

🗡️ Silent fun*: After a long day, Dad!Spencer needs some time alone with his wife (coming soon).

🗡️ Baby Fever*: Spencer wants a baby. You want to give him one. (coming soon)

🗡️ Infinity street*: Your first time with Spencer. (coming soon)

🗡️ Sweetest devotion*: Spencer has been in love with you for years. After having an intense conversation with Derek, Spencer decides to go for it. Even if it will hurt him. Or maybe not. (coming soon)

🗡️ On the loose*: Reader is attending Ladies' night at Penelope's and she reveals that Luke and Spencer are quite... peculiar in bed. Based on the song 'On the loose' by Niall Horan (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader and Luke Alvez x Fem!Reader, coming soon).

🗡️ Dreams come true*: Professor Reid finds a notebook full of graphic sexual fantasies written about him. When Reader comes to retrieve it, he asks about it. And she lies. Or pathetically tries to. (coming soon)

🗡️ Birthday dinner*: Luke hires Reader, an escort, for Spencer’s birthday. He gets a little more than a birthday dinner. (coming soon)

SUB!SPENCER FICS

🌸 One love, two mouths*: Season 1 Spencer comforts Y/N after a case and feelings come alive. 

🌸 La petite mort*: Spencer comes home from a case, tensed and angry. Y/N is there to fix the day.

🌸 Noted*: Spencer’s girlfriend is pregnant. He likes it a little too much.

🌸 Quiet*: Dating Professor Spencer Reid is hot. Making him yours in his office is even hotter.

🌸 Casual*: Spencer allows you to use his body to forget your cheating ex.

🌸 The real deal*: You find Spencer Reid browsing for sex toys at work. You show him that the real thing feels and is much better.

🌸 Sharing*: You and Spencer hate each other but there's only one bed.

🌸 Release*: Season 1 Spencer can’t seem to fall asleep. Y/N has a very interesting remedy for that (requested).

🌸 Distraction*: When you desperately want s1 Spencer's attention; based on a request.

🌸 Begging*: SoftDom!Reader cockwarms Sub!Spencer in their bathtub after he comes home from work, but his neediness gets the best of him. And Reader is not a fan of brats who misbehave. 

🌸 Peeking*: You catch Spencer trying to peek at his gift, and decide to teach him a lesson.

🌸 Our little secret*: When Derek calls you 'mommy' as a joke, Spencer doesn't know how to react. Based on the birthday scene in season 1.

🌸 In plain sight*: Reader is having a sleep-over with her colleagues, a few secrets from the bedroom slip out – and Spencer comes to rescue her before it’s too late.

🌸 Mutual exchange*: Spencer hears his roommate Reader having a self-love session.

🌸 Quick study*: Reader teaches Spencer how to pleasure her with his mouth. And Spencer shows that he’s a fast learner.

🌸 Eager*: Season 2 Spencer picks Reader up for their first date, but his eagerness gets the best of him.

🌸 Enchanted, enchanting*: Spencer didn't think he'd meet Rossi's niece on Halloween Night at his mansion. And he didn't think she'd be into him, anyway. (Spoiler: she is)

🌸 ...Anyway*: The only thing Reader knows is that she wants Spencer. He wants her too, but there's a problem: she has a boyfriend. Based on the song 'Sex' by The 1975. (coming soon)

🌸 Working hours*: Spencer has a crush on the Pathologist he's working with. (coming soon)

🌸 Something in the mail*: Reader catches Spencer snooping through her mail. Snoopers get punished.

VANILLA SPENCER FICS

🍊 Unholy*: You and Spencer see each other again after two years. The sexual tension is palpable, but what happens when Spencer finds out you're in a relationship? Based on the song "Unholy" by Hey Violet.

🍊 Human*: Reader shows Spencer that prison might have changed him, but he's still the love of her life and she's going to stick by his side until he gets tired of her. Based on the song 'Human' by Daughter.

🍊 Early mornings*: Dad!Spencer spends Valentine's Day mornings with his wife. (coming soon)

SERIES

Talk some sense to me*.

Part 1: Y/N confessed to JJ that she always been in love with Spencer but he never noticed her, too busy focusing on someone else. During a case, they are all held as hostages and JJ confesses her love for him.

Part 2: It’s the aftermath. Spencer and Y/N’s relationship took the sweetest turn. 

Alternative ending: Y/N doesn’t trust Spencer until she does. But nothing always goes her way.

No Control.*

Part one*: Y/N and the BAU’s team are enjoying a night out at Rossi’s. Sex is the main topic of the night. Morgan and Y/N tease Spencer about him being “too adorable, too vanilla”, so… he has to prove he’s not. 😈

Part two*: It's Monday, two days after the night Y/N and Spencer hooked up at his apartment after a night out. Even though they remember what happened, they still have to talk about it before it could mess up their professional relationship. He can't stop thinking about repeating that night, though...  😈

Through the walls.*

Part I: Spencer’s neighbour annoys him with her unusualjob. One day she asks him to join her.😈

Part II: Spencer and Reader celebrate Christmas together in a very unusual way.😈

The Daisy and The Bee.*

The Black Dahlia.*

Illicit affairs.*

We all saw the titty sucking

@futturmangamez

idc he's hot. extremely. I love this nerdy fucker.

"b-b-but that's Josh's dad..! but!!!" IDC!!!!!! also natal attraction is arguably one of the funniest future man episodes. "your parents never met?...that's fucked up" yes Barry that would be fucked up. hell yeah. "JOOSH OUT!!" I will be saying that every time I leave a room from now on thank you

pls tell me someone else has seen this😳