Bulkhead: - We're Surrounded!

wheeljack: - you're so resilient!

arcee: - thanks. my options were that or dead.

ultra magnus: - it seems like we have to change our strategy. quick, what is the plan b?

bulkhead: - well.. there's no plan b.

wheeljack: - and there's no plan a either.

smokescreen: - yeah, basically, we have no idea what we're doing.

tfp!human!au:

smokescreen: - but if the human body doesn't get water, it dies!

ratchet: *takes away coca cola bottle*

ratchet: - i hate to break it to you, but this is not water.

smokescreen: *struggles to take the bottle back*

smokescreen: - no, but it's a liquid-

tfp!human!au:

smokescreen: - your tattoos look dope, but what do they mean?

wheeljack, grinning: - that i cannot be trusted with two thousand bucks for sure.

tfp!human!au:

arcee: *stretches*

arcee: - ugh, my whole body hurts..

smokescreen: - oh, is it because of dealing with all that paperwork? or because of some intense workout?

arcee: - it's because of my being in my late 20s.

tfp!human!au:

ratchet's laptop: *emits an audio signal that it's running low on battery power*

ratchet: - uhh, fuck off!

ratchet: - i'm running low on my will to live right now.

ratchet: - but i'm not doing bulubulu every five minutes.

ratchet: - i'm working!

tfp!human!au:

after new year's party

bulkhead: - get up, it's 6 o'clock already!

smokescreen: - already? ohh, alright, guess i'll skip my morning training today..

bulkhead:

bulkhead: - no, i mean, it's 6 p.m.

tfp!human!au

ultra magnus: *drinks his third coffee in a morning and prepares for the roll call after returning from the night duty*

smokescreen: — uh.. sir, are you sure you're alr-

ultra magnus: *cleares his throat*

ultra magnus: — those who are absent, raise your hands!

wheeljack: - but how did you find me?

ratchet: - oh, our computers detected a huge explosion and we thought «now, who could that be?»

tfp!human!au:

knock out: - oh.. didn't notice we had a new halloween decoration here.

megatron: - we don't have any. it's starscream.