( 10:16PM ) "how Will You Remember Me If You Lost Your Memories?"

the urge to be hugged for 4 hrs

his choice

summary: at the end of the day, haechan chooses you despite the distance in time and proximity. but why do you feel so... guilty?

notes: idol!haechan, long distance relationship, no amount of fluff detected in this fic lol 221130 haechan i have real feelings for you

genre: angst | word count: 1.4k

- “baby?”, haechan says on the other line.

“haech… hi.”

you were laying on your bed. it has been a long, tiring week. on the other hand, haechan was sitting in front of his laptop. he was trying to fix his phone, trying to find the right angle for you to see his face clearly via facetime. once he felt everything is settled, he just stared at you. he can’t help but smile at your loving features. you are still beautiful as ever, he thought.

but you can see he was also exhausted. his eyes were kind of droopy, longing for some good night sleep. but he decided to stay up to accompany you while you twist and turn, and find the right sleeping position until you fall asleep.

“not going to bed, haech?”

“i’ll let you sleep first, baby.”

then a faint smile slowly crept on your face.

you thought it was cute. he is still the haechan you knew when he mustered up the courage to say he likes you on that one night in that one september night. you thought it was funny, even. he cannot look you in the eyes when he confessed, shy and all. it was unusual for someone who is loved by plenty to still giggle and blush like a little kid. haechan remains humble, head on the clouds but feet on the ground. and that is why despite the doubts and risks of accepting his love, you took the leap of faith, and haechan never failed to make you feel special every single day.

but with the tremendous amount of work lined up in his unpredictable schedule, you cannot help but feel… sorry.

you would be lying if you say you purposely did not answer some of his calls because he was persistent to see you when he gets the chance to do so.

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

where were you?

you weren’t picking up :(

you can almost hear haechan sulking as you read his text.

january 16, 2:15am | you wrote:

just out, haechan.

january 16, 2:16am | haech wrote:

tell me about your day? :)

there were at least six missed calls that you refused to answer before this. as you watched your phone vibrating, you just wished he would… stop. it was also two in the morning from where he is, currently touring and all, while you just came back from work and slept. timezones, the distance; you can’t help but to wonder why he still stays.

january 16, 2:20am | you wrote:

tired, baby.

january 16, 2:20am | haech wrote:

just five minutes, please?

but you just left him on read. the way he waited for you to response as he replied instantly for your texts is already bothering you. you also clearly did not know back then why you would do such a thing to haechan until weeks passed by…

it never occurred to you what exactly it was until you have seen him yawning and falling asleep as the both of you catch up on what has been going on with your lives. you clearly knew it was guilty to have him around while he was struggling to maintain his life and work. the guilt rushed in when he started texting almost apologetic messages saying “i’m sorry, i fell asleep.”, “have a great day, baby! i know you could do it!”, and the recent and out-of-the-blue text message he sent that sent you the urge to hit the block button for his own good:

january 28, 5:55am | haech wrote:

baby. i hope you never get tired of me… of this. i know it has been a rough couple of weeks of us being in different parts of the world. you don’t know how much i want to hold you, kiss you, and hug you at every chance i get. please wait for me to come home. please never be tired. i’m willing to work this out. i’ll make time for you, baby.

don't leave me, please?

and by that time, you knew haechan has been also feeling you were about to back down. it is just that the assumed reasons were different. haechan feels he was losing you because of the lack of time and distance he spends with you, and you, on the other hand, are willing to sacrifice this love that you wanted to keep for a long so he could continue living freely.

so you decided to talk to haechan tonight.

he deserved to at least receive a proper goodbye.

“what time is it there, haech?”

“it’s…” haechan looked at his watch, eyebrows scrunched and all, “two-thirty a.m.”

“aren’t you tired?”

“not when i see you, baby.”

you felt like your heart is about to burst from being squeezed so tightly. you removed your phone from your face and let the camera face in front of the ceiling. you were suppressing your whimpers. it hurts to hear those words; those words that were carefully curated for you to be heard so you would be convinced he is enduring it all when he is not. and giving up the fight is only the answer you have.

“baby…?” haechan asks for you. “still there?”

“yeah, yeah.” you wiped your tears away and faked a forced smile for him to see. you picked up your phone and made sure he could not see any hints of you hurting. “just… picked up something.”

“oh, okay.”

you can hear haechan singing baekhyun’s love again, and you just smiled through the entire mini-show, exclusively for you. he loved singing and sharing his favorite songs with you. you were never a fan of ballads until he came into your life, and suddenly everything felt at ease. but you had to ask before you.

“does it get tiring sometimes, haech?”

“what do you mean?”

“this.”

he looked straight at the camera and stopped the music playing in the background. haechan kind of stood still for seconds, bracing himself on where this conversation is going. but he responded upfront and with no hesitations.

“never.”

“why?” you asked.

“because it’s you.”

“why do you still stay?”

“because it’s you.”

“why do you keep saying it’s me?”

“because i love you.”

haechan can feel the series of questions from you being said so nonchalantly and so monotonously. he already knows your walls are building themselves up as he continuously answers. it was frustrating to see that you were no longer convinced, that the i love yous no longer work.

“stop saying that, haechan.”

“it’s haech.”

“what do i even do for you?”

“you—you make me happy, baby.”

“just go to sleep, haechan.”

“i won’t.”

“why?”

“because i know i won’t be seeing you in the morning after this.”

and you know he was right. you were already consumed by the thought of leaving and convinced he makes himself strong in front of you despite the circumstances.

but haechan is not ready to give it all up, not just yet.

“listen to me, baby. please?”

you turned off your camera, and you can see haechan slightly panicking. but he had to keep his composure still.

“every day, i choose you. my heart chooses you. i come back to you because my heart says so—that you keep me sane. you keep me feeling things; that you keep me afloat; that you keep me human.” haechan insists.

“you are that tiny light that i see whenever i come back to my apartment; and when i see it, it feels like someone’s waiting for me to come home, baby.

you are that someone, baby. you love me because i can fall crumbling and all because you are my home. and you accept my flaws.

it doesn’t matter if i’m tired and all, because you’re… you’re my rest.”

you let out sobs and your cries were no longer able to be contained. haechan waits for you on the other line to open your camera, or at least say something back. he anxiously taps his foot on the floor.

you picked up your phone and there he was, staring intently at a blank screen, biting his lower lip and teary-eyed.

“loving someone is a choice.

and every day, i choose you.”

and before you end the call, you heard him saying:

"i love you so much.

come back to me, baby, please?”

would you?

gimme gimme!

pairings. haechan x (f) reader

genre. FLUFF! established relationship

warnings. implications to sex towards the end, haechan being so fucking >_< in this one (do y’all understand??)

note. again,, inspired by this tiktok SOMEONE HELP ME FROM MY IMAGINATION AND THOUGHTS BC THIS W HAECHAN ????

—

haechan is home with you, but not really for a good reason. he’s exempt from his schedules due to health reasons so he’s instructed to stay home and get some well needed rest. but you’re glad that he’s with you and under your watch.

both of you are on your couch, your back against the arm rest and your legs thrown over haechan’s lap as he’s watching a youtube video on the tv. his arm is slung behind you resting on the couch as his other arm is resting on your thighs, occasionally giving your thigh a squeeze with his hand. you’re on your tablet reading a book you’ve been excited to read that a friend had recommended to you.

this is what your days have consisted of, just you two in your apartment. either glued on the couch snuggled together or talking about anything in your kitchen and laughing or in your bed getting lost in each others warmth. of course, you do leave the house in the morning for classes and come back before dinner, haechan awaiting upon your arrival at the entrance of your front door with open arms and his bright smile.

Keep reading

478 drabble where they’re just starting out in their relationship and y/n figures that jungkook is a silent lover so when she needs help or something, she doesn’t come to jungkook for it and then jungkook finds out and is a little hurt by it ☹️

478: drabble

alternatively, you don’t call jungkook for help because you don’t think he would </3

[ 478 drabbles ]

8:07 PM

That looks good. Text me when you get home.

Jungkook types out simply when you send him a picture of your dessert from the dinner you’re in with your cousin, leaning back on his couch before closing his phone to resume watching his show.

It’s an abrupt end to your dinner, really. You haven’t laughed this hard with a relative outside of your immediate family for a long time — but it’s just too bad that your cousin was called for an emergency at work. She’s paid for the bill already even before you could argue that you’d handle it. There’s just two teeny-tiny problems from your cousin’s sudden exit.

She’s also your ride home, and the heavy rain that’s pouring outside the restaurant is enough to make its heavy glass doors howl from the wind alone.

It’s scary now that you think about it. You can barely see out even through the large window panes, and speaking of the window panes, they’re trembling from how hard the rain is going.

“Do you need help closing the roll-ups?” you pipe in (read: half-yell through the noise) when you see the owner of the restaurant you’ve become acquainted with for all the times you’ve eaten here, his face filled with worry because the once-locked doors already busted open with the wind.

The entirety of the staff is preoccupied with closing windows and rearranging tables, taking more precautions now that there’s still patrons in the building and almost half of them are alarmed with everything going on.

“Yes, please. But if you want to help-“ he looks apologetic, heart hurting at the thought of inconvencing one of his regulars that just happens to have a good heart. “Someone needs to go outside to bring down the roll-up, and crouch back to go inside when it’s halfway down. I-I can’t — my back’s too bad for me to do that.”

You’re not so keen at the thought that a flying piece of roof could deck you the moment you come outside to help bring down the metal roll-up, but if it means making the restaurant (your place of refuge for the time-being because you can’t go home at this state) a little more secure, then so be it.

“It’s no problem. I’ll be quick,” you assure the owner, tugging the sleeves of your sweater back down as if the few inches of fabric would protect you from the harsh rain. You count to three before going outside, much to the relief of the other patrons because the wind wouldn’t come in as much, and much to worry of the owner because he really thinks you’d be taken away by the wind.

8:43 PM

Your cousin drove you home, right?

The rain doesn’t look like it would stop anytime soon.

Jungkook’s eyes narrow at his phone, weirded out that you haven’t read his messages yet. There’s still clearly service because his texts went through, but even after almost an hour, he still hasn’t heard from you.

The restaurant’s supposed to be close to your apartment. It should only be a thirty-minute drive, could even be cut to fifteen because he rereads your previous (and many) texts of the day that your cousin drives barbarically fast.

It’s okay.

You’re probably okay.

You like texting him. You’ve probably already reached home and you’re just taking a shower.

9:30 PM

Y/N

Where are you?

Are you okay?

“Here. Eat more,” the owner coaxes you as he sets down another plate of dumplings for you to eat, practically hand-feeding you at this point because you keep insisting with a chuckle that it’s not necessary. “You risked your life out there.”

“I only closed your roll-up.”

“Yes. Still a hero,” he nods fervently, handing you iced tea this time and doesn’t stop shaking his head until you take a sip. “It looks like the rain’s gonna pass soon. Do you have a car?” he asks, making you chew faster in order to reply.

“Nope,” you shake your head, jolting a few centimeters into the air when it feels as if the thunder outside rang directly beside your eardrums.

“Do you have someone to pick you up then? Ah, didn’t you mention you have a boyfriend now? Booking a ride tonight would be impossible.”

“No, I don’t think my boyfriend would pick me up,” you mutter, recalling that Jungkook’s probably asleep right now. You’ve only been a couple for a month but you know what and what not to expect. It doesn’t hurt you particularly — it’s just that Jungkook is Jungkook.

He cares about you. He’s not that verbal nor touchy with it, but you know he cares about you. You’re just not sure if he’d brave a flood right now to pick you up, but it’s okay.

Love takes time.

10:01 PM

Please pick up my calls

Are you safe? Where are you?

Y/N please let me know where you are

“My phone won’t turn on,” you tut in exasperation, belatedly realizing that it’s been soaked already in your pocket for the ten seconds you’ve been outside. “I need to put this in rice when I get home.”

The owner frowns, still guilty that you’ve got it from helping him, but before he apologizes again, you cut him off with a smile.

“Do you have a landline?” you sheepishly ask. “I might need to call a friend. I’m about seventy percent sure he’ll drive me home.”

10:30 PM

Y/N where are you???

I’ve been calling you for the past hour

Are you home? Do you just have no service??? Is the power out???

Are you at the restaurant?? Are you with your cousin??

Where are you?

47 missed calls from Jungkook.

6:21 AM

I hope you’re home.

I’m coming over

The walls of your apartment shake.

You were pretty sure the typhoon’s already moved past your city last night and there were only semi-heavy rains left in its wake, but when you blearily look at your alarm clock (and not your phone because it’s dunked in rice), the walls of your apartment still continue to shake.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m coming! I’m coming! Who are-…” you stumble to the door in a hurry without even looking at the peephole, eyes still half-closed but slowly blinking awake when you see who’s in front of you.

“Jungkook?” you mumble, head tilting in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” he repeats, his whole physique looking disheveled because he literally could not sleep the whole night from worrying about you. “Where were you? Were you here the whole time? I thought you were hurt,” he mumbles the last word, eyebrows still furrowed.

“I came home at what, 12 in the morning? I didn’t have a ride home when I last texted you at 8 because my cousin had to leave for a work emergency,” you recall, wincing in recollection because your body’s still heavy from the fatigue.

“What? But you don’t have a car. It was flooding last night,” he gulps, mouth still parted in worry even if he can see you right now in one piece. “How in the hell did you come home?”

“I called Yoongi.”

You shrug as you let your boyfriend know, the moment suddenly becoming tense because you realize now that you haven’t even invited him inside.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

Jungkook looks hurt, seeing more emotion now than you’ve ever seen him from the whole month you’ve been together. It makes you falter, the guilt rising to your throat.

“I didn’t know if you would answer.”

Jungkook mentally staggers at that, heart dipping in hurt.

He bites his upper lip in worry, deep into his thoughts that it’s his fault that you’ve started to doubt if he would even show up when you need help.

“Of course I would answer,” he mumbles, taking you into a deep embrace that you freeze into before you melt into his tight hold. “It’s you. I’ll always answer if it’s you.”

“Choose yourself this time.”

it’s yours - haechan imagine

i miss hyuck so yea here’s another scenario😭🥺💛 hope you like it! also stream beatbox!! what’s your favorite track of the album? 

As always thank you for your support! 

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine. credit to original owner)

Keep reading

the urge to just fully depend on a so. to be helpless, clumsy, weak and needy yet completely adored for it.

to want and be wanted

georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

—

yelah emotionally intelligent men only exist in shit like this

Hi Liv 🥺 can i humbly request #79 for Joon 🥺👉👈 thank you so much. I really love your drabbles and the long term couples 🥺

“I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”

namjoon x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 700+

You were so fucking late.

Scrambling through your closet, you groaned at your inability to find the right outfit. Late, late, late. And Namjoon was so patient, as always. It seemed he was always waiting on you in some way or another.

Grabbing the t-shirt off the hanger, you quickly pulled it on before jogging over to the entryway of your bedroom. “I’m so sorry I’m running so late, work was crazy today and I got home and just passed out,” you apologized to Namjoon, watching as the man looked over his shoulder to smile at you. He was dressed coolly but casually for your date, looking as handsome as ever.

“You’re fine,” he shook his head gently, turning completely away from the bookcase he was just perusing, a book in his hands. “You look good like that,” he nodded to your appearance, triggering you to look down at your bare legs, the t-shirt doing nothing to cover anything past your hips.

Grinning at his words, you shook your head in an attempt to cover up your amusement. “I’ll be ready in a minute, I just need, well, pants,” you pointed out, Namjoon chuckling at the comment. He was so pretty when he smiled like that, the laughter light and airy, barely audible.

“Take your time,” he gave you a small nod as he spoke. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready,” he smiled directly at you, his dimples on full display for you.

Cocking your head at him, you locked your eyes on the book he held. “Kafka on the Shore?” You asked, a fond smile toying on your lips.

“Ah. It’s one of my favorites,” he told you, looking down at the novel. Opening the book onto a random page, he smiled. “I like that you annotate your books.” Thinking back to the morning after meeting Namjoon, you recalled reading a collection of poems, and you found his stars and underlines throughout the poems fascinating. They revealed pieces of himself and you couldn’t quite get enough of the markings. “Can I borrow this? I want to read it with your notes.”

Your heart raced at the question as a soft grin found its way to your face. There was something beautiful and intensely intimate about the man reading a book that you jotted notes all throughout. Wanting to allow him to explore those pieces of you, just as you had the privilege of doing with him, you nodded at him.

“Of course,” you whispered, Namjoon grinning widely at your sudden excitement.

“Thanks,” he beamed, already keen on exploring your thoughts on one of his favorite works of literature.

For a moment, before retreating back into your room, you simply stared at him from across your apartment, appreciating all that he was. He was broad, tall, handsome with those damn dimples that you adored. But even more than that, he was intelligent, both emotionally and intellectually. He was warm and soft, safe, like coming home. The man didn’t break eye contact despite the obvious bashfulness taking over due to your gaze on him.

“I love you,” you suddenly told him, softly and sincerely. You just had to tell him. No matter how many times you confessed those feelings, it would never be enough. Every bit of him had all of your love, and you needed him to feel that.

You watched as his eyes widened, his mouth parting just slightly. You had told him you loved him before but it was still new enough that he just wasn’t quite accustomed to hearing the words leave your lips.

“I’ll be right out, make yourself at home, please,” you told him with a smirk, amused by the way those three words just rocked his world and stunned the strapping leader.

“Oh-okay,” he replied just as you stepped back into your room, your smile wider than ever. You were just through the door when he cleared his throat. “Hey,” he called out, you quickly popping your head back out to look at him expectantly. “I love you too,” he told you, the words instantly bringing a smile to your face.

“I know that,” you told him gently, the man exhaling into a light laugh. The man looked to the floor for a quick moment before looking back up at you.

“Good,” he told you, his dimples still displayed upon his cheeks. “Because I really do.”

“To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy.”

— Unknown