XVIII

message for him--

hey, you’re never gonna see this but i just have to write this down or else it’s gonna kill me on the inside. so me and you have history, i loved you and you loved me at least that’s what we’d say. but i broke it off well because i just couldn’t handle the “school stress” and having the thought i could only see you once a week, i just couldn’t. so at that time of course i thought it was a good idea to end it with you and so you could move on and maybe actually get a girl that is there with you and you can actually see in person. then i texted you because im a coward and said some lame excuse and not actually tell you whats wrong which would’ve been a better idea but i didn’t i just broke it off. then i immediately “liked” someone which wasn’t worth it, then i guess i “moved on”. well that’s what i thought, i was wrong. all the the people i had “feelings” for were distractions. what i mean is that me having those “feelings” for them was a distraction to how i really feel. i feel like im going crazy, because every second im not busy thinking about whatever, im thinking about what you’re doing or what we could’ve been doing at that moment. so all those people i thought i had feelings for were a distraction of how im actually missing you. but yet again im dumb because you’ve moved on and you probably hate how im crawling back to you right now when you’ve moved on so im sorry that my actual feelings and thoughts just hit me now because most of the time i have no idea what im doing. yet again you’re never gonna see this.

don’t blame me love made me crazy, if it doesn’t you ain’t doing it right.

keep me - khalid

singing our favorite songs but the funny this is every time we did you'd always get the words wrong. and i was your biggest fan, you should never forget it. i bet you no man doesn't love you like i did. doesn't love you lioe i did. does he love you like i did? no, no, no.

no offense but i love u

puzzle

in the beginning

you were a a puzzle.

unable to figure you out

like a mystery nobody has solved

you were quiet, but then

we’d talk at night until later we’d realized the sun has come up.

you’d made me think about

the charming efforts to get my attention & im here thinking why? why me?

i was surprised, the man who was a puzzle

was finally figured out, but by me.

as we were getting older, you made me think about the clear road ahead of us.

the future i was ready for because you were there with me

now here at the end

and im here by your bedside

reminiscing of our young & reckless selves, as you fall asleep for the last time saying

“you finished your puzzle.”

~c.e

i fell

im falling because you pushed me, and im mad because you’re so damn adorable. you had to tell me im beautiful and tell me that you want me. you made me fall for you. but are you gonna catch me?

the answer to that is yes. you’re going to be there whenever i need someone, you’re gonna be there at my darkest times, i know that because over the past few weeks of us getting to know each other you’ve shown me that you are gonna catch me..

~c.e

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