You Ever Self-study For Something, Think You Cover All The Topics, And Then Take A Practice Test And

bernadette banner just referred to someone as her "resident chemist" and i am quite sure that this is the profession i aspire to.

geoengineering be like:

no one:

absolutely no one:

some random scientist named dr evil: y'know what sounds like a really good idea? froth the fucking ocean, make meringue earth using CO2.

part of the scientific community: huh... y'know, what if we just... tossed a bomb? but like, into the ocean. in the middle of a hurricane. cuz. that works. 100%

another equally ridiculous part of the scientific community that is like 100% white military men: ...okay, but what if we put frickin hydrofluorocarbons into the atmosphere. yes, it will cause warming. we know. we just wanna. play god.

there are some days where i'm like "hell yeah! how many moles of photons do i need to raise a 400 grams of water 5 degrees using a CO2 laser at a specific wavelength? i don't know but i'll figure it out!!"

and then there are some days where I forget how to balance the reaction of sodium bicarb and vinegar...

ah, yes.

the sweet, sweet smell of procrastination.

i love describing acid base buffers as "they turn the extra pH-ey things into the less pH-ey things."

large empires in history be like "we tried to solve a problem by creating an even larger one."

google's auto responses are killing me..

my friend (the sweetest angel who looked over my paper for me) has highlighted the work "Lamarckian," asking "what does this mean?"

google's auto responses?

"i don't know" and "sorry."

"what is this?" "i don't know. i wrote this paper. but i just... don't know."

alternatively.

"what is this" "sorry." no context. just sorry.

passive voice needs to stop. because sometime i forget how english works and i have like three different clauses in my sentence and i just- can't.

sounds heard while reading hnmr spec charts:

“it’s so sad, it has no friends!”

“that’s not possible, you can’t have that many friends!”

“that hydrogen is getting peer pressured.”

papers are hard.

seriously, it's not even a content issue anymore (i mean, we have those in spades, but that's not the point right now—)

how acknowlegements???? like??? titles??? full names??? what if they're a child, because you're also a child trying to publish something? what do you do then? if someone has a doctorate but did less do you put them first or last in that acknowledgement category??? what???