Hiya Bill, Romance Advice Anon Here!

Hiya Bill, romance advice anon here!

I've ascended and assumed the form of a delicious, crunchy chicken strip. Your advice is AMAZING! It was hard getting enough tinfoil to wrap myself with. But it was WORTH IT!

People do say that the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach!

On that note, are you willing you share how one of your loyal followers could win YOUR heart?

Sincerely,

Just a human girl (Turning golden brown in 5 minutes, 425°F)

LOOK AT YOU GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND WITH TINFOIL! COLOR ME PROUD. (ITS THIS WEIRD GREENISH COLOR THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE YOUR COLOR SPECTRUM.)

AND AW WELL SHUCKS~ I SUPPOSE I COULD SPILL A FEW SECRETS FOR SUCH A LOVELY AUDIENCE MEMBER SUCH AS YOURSELF!

THE TRICK TO IT IS SIMPLE! GIVE ME YOUR COMPLETE AND UTTER SUBMISSION :D

GIVE ME YOUR NAME AND PUT YOUR LIFE IN THE PALMS OF MY HANDS. LOOK AT ME LIKE I CREATED THE STARS JUST FOR YOU AND OBEY MY EVERY WHIM WITH A SMILE EVEN IN THE FACE OF TERROR. SCRIBBLE MY REFLEXIVELY ON YOUR PAPERS AND WALLS, TRACE MY SHAPE OVER YOUR HEART. MUTTER MY NAME FIRST THING EVERY MORNING AND LASTLY JUST BEFORE YOU SLEEP. FROTH AT THE MOUTH WITH OBSESSION. LET ME WRENCH MYSELF SO DEEP IN YOUR VERY SENSE OF SELF YOU WONT BE ABLE TO TELL WHERE YOU END AND I BEGIN!

THATS HOW TO WIN ME OVER! IM NOT REALLY A PICKY GUY, ITS PRETTY EASY IN ALL HONESTY. I DONT ASK FOR A LOT.