Ooh Baby Baby

Professor Ford AU - Ratemyprofessor reviews

PLEASE check out the original post by the genius @jellybeanjo and the insanely funny replies made by everyone. Genuinely one of the best gf posts ever made.

Reblogs by @jellybeanjo, @aroace-get-out-of-my-face, @coldbronzemoon and myself :D

Stanford really went for 12 PhDs just to find a moment to brag and tell someone he has a PhD for every finger he had.

number 15 erased Fidds' memory from traumatizing pastime with Ford

Random Bill Cipher Headcannons lol

The closest thing to love Bill can ever feel is obsession.

obv has no patience for ANYTHING. will ask you a question and interrupt you as you answer as soon as he knows what you're gonna say.

HATES being interrupted however, because of course he is a hypocrite like that.

secretly appreciates any drawings made of him, altars or shrines in his honor, tattoos, etc. anything you collect in his image only makes him more powerful! (Don't be shy, do a blood ritual in his honor!)

Mentioned before but he has a slight preference towards human women. as far as his respect for humans goes, its not much. But those witches? they knew how to party! Bill doesn't quite care about silly human concepts like 'feminism' or 'human rights' or 'free will' but he thinks its funny some women bleed for so long and never die.

If Bill gets interested in you, he will do anything he can to make his presence known. hear his laugh or voice in the back of your head? that's him. see distant symbols or images of him? its because he has to keep an eye on you silly!

Actually doesn't care about nudity or sexuality in humans. he's seen so many types of bodies and sexual acts throughout history to care about mundane things like seeing you or any human naked. or being intimate.

he does however, appreciate when you think of him in your intimate moments... any type of worship is appreciated from dumb little fleshbags!

They took Bill's makeup away in Theraprism.

Canonically Bill wears mascara and eyeliner. He states that the Acient Egyptians were copying his makeup style and the Anti-Cipher Society describes him as a triangle with a very feminin eye. But in Theraprism we see him without his long lashes. Slaying isn't allowed in Theraprism.

Ad Infinitum, Prologue [Bill Cipher x Reader]

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Angst, Hurt/No comfort, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Short fic, Pre-Gravity Falls, Existential Crisis lol

Concept: The reader is an ambiguous void-like, abyssal god who met Bill Cipher in the Nightmare realm. Pre-Gravity Falls timeline!

Prologue

*✧･ﾟ: ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──*✧･ﾟ: ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──*✧･ﾟ: ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──*✧･ﾟ

You were destruction and he was creation. He was light where you were darkness.

Or something corny like that.

Time and space held no meaning here, in the Nightmare Realm. Really, what could be consider a nap could be the death and birth of many planets. You can't remember the last time a living being graced your part of the void. Then again, no one really liked living near a blackhole like you did. This was all you've ever known. You were born in the void, existed within it, and slept within the confines of its emptiness.

Until one day, a bright yellow light entered your life.

He wasn't the first entity to wander into this abyss, but he was the first to greet you with no ill intent. He came one night, in a brilliant blue light, flames licking his frame as he entered into existence, here. A single, dark eye opened before you.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"Dimension 5150-B," you softly answered.

The nightmare realm's cosmic garbage dump, really. Where all things end.

He tilted his head, his eye crinkling in curiosity, then delight.

"Well, this place sucks. Time to liven it up!"

With a snap of his fingers, the darkness around you warped and shuddered. The darkness gave way to light, then, became filled with life.

Suddenly, the void was filled with stars, planets, moons, and suns. Oceans of them rippled through the sky in waves. Since then, you stopped feeling so alone. The silence was replaced with the sounds of life. Illusions of places and things you've never seen before danced all around you. In no time, the void was filled with his jovial voice and your soft laughter.

Bill Cipher never ran out of things to say to fill the silence. Spinning tales and coaxing laughter out of you. He always had something new to share with you. He enjoyed the way you listened with rapt attention as he weaved tale after tale for both of your amusement.

Some days, he'll tell you of a world different than the one you were bound in. A dimension beyond your understanding, full of colors you've yet to see. Full of people who spoke languages you've never heard before. Planets that survive off only one moon, stars that grow and become planets. Worlds that endure despite having collapsing suns, darker nights, and billions of people.

Other days, he'd tell you of his home.

But those stories, they never stayed.

Those stories escaped you like sand through your fingers. Tragic as they were, your mind would fight to hold onto them. You never understood why, but they always fade as soon as Bill's voice would turn quiet and small. He'd look away and it would be as if the moment never happened.

Sadness didn't fit Bill's bright yellow colors, you thought. You'd spend the rest of eternity making sure he was happy if you had to!

It was your silent vow.

*✧･ﾟ: ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──*✧･ﾟ: ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──*✧･ﾟ: ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──*✧･ﾟ

Up above, the endless blanket of stars watched as you and Bill sat next to each other.

You held your breath as a golden glow washed across the barren rock around you. From underneath the earth, tendrils of black twirled upwards. They writhed each curling into a small, black bulb.

Bill always had an affinity for creation- or weirdness, as he called it.

Where he breathed life and curiosities into the nightmare realm, you were the abyss that hungrily consumed it all.

You watched with bated breath as the flowers around you swayed gently. Bill watched with an upturned eye as he theatrically flicked his wrist towards the field.

One by one, the bulbs unfurled, blooming into delicate black petals that glistened faintly with impossible colors. You smiled as the last one slowly opened before you.

"Go on, take it, it's yours!"

Yours.

The words echoed in your mind as you reached for a flower. It seemed to sigh and wilt slightly as you plucked it off the ground.

With care, you brushed the pads of your fingers over its petals. It was unlike anything you've seen before.

However, it soon crumbled and turned into ash the moment you touched its stem.

You pulled your hand back as the ash fell through your fingers. Bill plucked another flower from the ground and held it out to you, his single eye crinkled in amusement. He held it close to your face for you to admire.

Something in you melted at the gesture.

Bill brought so much more than life to the Nightmare realm. With him came warmth and laughter.

He told you of impossible futures, dreams, and nightmares beyond the veil of the world you two were in. You shared in his dream of breaching that veil and existing where there was natural light and more people.

He loved to shower you with gifts like this. You happily accepted all of it, cherishing these tiny gestures from a friend.

Like clockwork, you two would meet in this barren little rock you found in the Nightmare realm. Sharing stories and secrets. Mapping out unnamed constellations and writing your name in the stars- sometimes literally!

Bill moved heaven and earth for you, and you reveled in this. Your heart fluttered every time he used his all-seeing eye to describe beautiful places for you. You memorized the way his black hands would cradle stars and move them in the shape of your name in the sky.

You wouldn't trade this for the world, being beside your best friend in a lonely, unforgiving dimension. A part of you hoped Bill felt the same warmth in your chest you felt when he was around.

You didn't realize you would have to give it all up someday.

You'd look back and realize that this was the last gesture of kindness Bill Cipher would show you for a very, very long time.

He disappeared one day, taking all the light with him.

Time mercilessly passed in cold, breathless, silence.

Until one day, he came back.

No longer the same friend you knew before.

What do you think Bill would do to purposely frustrate a powerful reader?

It’s Tough to be a God

a/n — I got another request about how this would affect ‘subspace’ for Bill, so that’s happening later 😁

warnings — SFW, toxic relationships, manipulation

summary — Bill Cipher x Powerful!Reader headcanons

⃤ A reader that’s more powerful Bill is something i’ve rarely seen touched on, but it would absolutely make for an interesting dynamic.

⃤ I’m not the first person to say he’d feel some kind of competition with the reader, but there would be a kind of rivalry there, powers-wise.

⃤ He wouldn’t be insecure, per se, but he wouldn’t particularly love the idea that you’re better than him. 

⃤ A more powerful reader would invoke a subtle sense of curiosity within him too; Why exactly are you more powerful, anyways? What can you do? How can he use it?

⃤ He’d definitely egg you on, ‘I bet you can’t do this’ etc, to see what you’re capable doing, and what powers you’re willing to ‘throw around.’

⃤ But when he’s trying to make you mad, there’s a multitude of things he can do. Being annoying is truly one of his specialties.

⃤ Obviously, nothing to far. He still needs you on his side. 

⃤ But you’d be doing something important and all of a sudden, someone is repeatedly poking your cheek. “boop.”

⃤ If you have an important job in the multiverse, he might purposely setback your work, hide papers, move things around. 

⃤ He’d start fights with other beings in your name, forcing you to confront them, and display exactly how mighty your power is.

⃤ And he does like watching you fight. 

⃤ Obviously, majority of his efforts would be secretive, as he doesn’t particularly want you to end him.

⃤ But when you do lash out at him, he finds it.. exciting. He’s not normally at other peoples mercy, and sometimes, it’s a thrill.

⃤ Just as long as he can tame the beast. 

⃤ Although, there is always the idea of the reader being the one pulling the strings, even if he doesn’t know it. 

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

Wait the book of bill appearing to Ford first is fucking HILARIOUS actually. Ford literally killed Bill less than a month ago, and Bill's still banking so hard on him getting him out of therapy that the book shows up in Ford's stuff MULTIPLE TIMES. Girl the situationship has been over for thirty years give it up 💀

Doesn’t like the crust on his sandwiches, but will devour an entire skateboard. Okay.