I Fucking Love When His Traumatic Past Makes An Appearance In Fics. Especially When Will Sees The Traumatized

mutuals, ily

I love seeing my mutuals in my notes because it confirms they’re not mad at me. yet

rebirth (explicit, 1.4k words)

Post-Fall, Hannibal needs Will's assistance to relearn how to perform even the most natural of tasks (such as reaching orgasm) after suffering from brain damage and amnesia.

y'all! i made some edits to my previous ramble and added some scrumptious additions about Hannibal's overactive cowper's glands 🤭 and made it into a more concise tiny little ficlet to have a home on AO3! might be my shortest one yet, but it was very fun <3

"They also psychologically torture each other but it’s mainly just for enrichment in their cage. Will knows hannibal will go crazy and start eating the drywall if he’s bored even a second so he deliberately instigates shit and causes situations just so hannibal has a project."

LMFAO THAT IS SO TRUE

god, i loved everything you shared and touched on!!

"I do honestly think it’s touchy as hell right away too. On the cliff a dam is definitely broken and there is a kind of physical contact and intimacy there hasn’t been before, and I think once they start touching there’s no reigning that back in. I definitely think a first kiss would be initiated by will because funnily enough even though he doesn’t have it early on, by that point hannibal almost has a strange insecurity with him-he is deeply vulnerable to rejection from him and I think would be afraid of pushing especially now. That being said, I think it would happen very quickly, within the first day, and it’s as natural as breathing. They’re already in each others space, clinging to each other for warmth, survival, coming down from the high of everything, treating their wounds, at some point it goes from just breathing in each others air to being connected. They’ve begun to blur. I’m extremely soft about them showering together, sleeping intertwined, in the days after. There’s just such a peace after the hollow ache that has been there for both of them for so long. I do think it is an interesting stretch for will to spend with hannibal because he starts to see him in a much more vulnerable light. He starts to be more of just a man to him, a man that he loves, that wakes up from nightmares or has flashes of insecurity he starts to recognize, that has strange little fussy habits and preferences that make will feel fond."

WAILING MY BOOTY OFF BECAUSE SAME 😭🩵 Helping each other shower post-fall and Will seeing Hannibal in a new light (when he's feeling vulnerable or insecure or when Hannibal's severe touch starvation is made apparent) is my bread and butter <3 also i agree about the amount of murdering they would do, because it would be so fun for them to do together, but at the same time, their freedom and ability to be with each other would be more important. ALSO ALSO HANNIBAL BURNING FOOD BECAUSE HE'S DISTRACTED BY WILL IS SUCH A SCRUMPTIOUS HEADCANON!!!

i would love to hear more of your thoughts on Hannibal and Will's post-fall relationship (and maybe even Hannibal being more emotional in contrast to how most of fandom sees him, because i very much agree with you on that)!! honestly, feel free to ramble to your heart's content because i love all your takes on them <3

Yippie!! Wahoo!!

Okay on Hannibal being more emotionally driven than people think. The thing is I think he’s actually basically in emotional overload at all times. This is a man that feels everything INTENSELY at any given time. Art is life changing and euphoric to the point of sitting by it and recreating it every single day. Good music brings genuine tears of emotion. Love is akin to devotion for him, it transcends everything. He has very specific coping mechanisms and ways he has learned to be BECAUSE of this, the way people learn to mask the aspects of themselves that they feel are deficient.

So much of his hedonism is a combination of intense love of everything life has to offer and the fact that it’s a double edged sword. Feeling everything intensely equally makes it so he is unable to sit with unpleasant feelings or things. Having gone through the early years of his life with the constant of fear, pain, loss, hunger, cold, discomfort, magnified by 1000 in someone who everything is exceptionally intense for, there is a clawing hunger for only the best of everything, to not be having a bad time ever for even a second. He will not suffer boredom, humiliation, indignity, without a disproportionately volatile and impulsive response. He’s a ticking bomb easily set off, he’s just learned to hide it. Anyone truly apathetic wouldn’t care about the whole rude thing, it would fly completely over their head.

It’s a through line in every version of media made about him that one key component of his character is that he is very capable of love and that it’s a driving force for him. I think he has a much greater depth of feeling for people than average, and those he does love and consider family are on the receiving end of absolute devotion and adoration, but again, it is a double edged sword. With the ability to love that deeply there is also the ability to feel intense disappointment, alienation, disgust, etc about people. His love is above and beyond the average persons, but his feelings of dislike and therefor apathy are disproportionate as well.

Many of his kills aren’t completely random or unfeeling- they are people that inspire negative emotions such as politicians that try to destroy the nature and beauty in the world, doctors that are cruel and derogatory to their patients, academics that are deliberately exclusionary and condescending, in general people that in his eyes actively make the world a worse place. He cannot stand ugliness because what is a minor inconvenience to the average person is blindingly unspeakably ugly to him.

This isn’t to say he doesn’t still kill people that don’t fit in this category- there’s very much two types. Those he kills because they make the world a worse place and in his eyes don’t deserve the beauty of life, and those that are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think the second category falls into a weird place in terms of his empathy- I’m just spewing thoughts here but I think he has this weird thing going on that he has suffered about as much as a person can and still finds life joyful and even feels that he’s better for it, is even excited and compelled by the idea of his own death, that he just genuinely doesn’t think what he’s doing is that bad. He’s the boomer parent going “well back in my day I walked 50 miles through the snow to school” except it’s back in my day this this this and this happened and I’ve seen the ugliest the world has to offer and I’m keenly aware of it, so getting your arm chopped off and being gaslight really isn’t that bad, maybe you’ll even be better for it and see the world through new eyes/become something more beautiful for it! Isn’t that exciting! He even thinks death is exciting and a beautiful change in its own way, so it doesn’t phase him. The smaller fish is eaten by the bigger fish and the bigger fish will someday get got by the shark and as the bigger fish he is perfectly capable of empathy for the smaller one, even does see himself in its shoes, but sees it just as a beautiful cycle of life that will happen to him someday too and it isn’t at all a bad thing to have experienced it and been a part of something. How wonderful, for it all to have meaning. But in general I don’t think he does anything he does without empathy-he just does it anyways. “Extreme acts of cruelty require a high degree of empathy.”

All this isn’t to say that he doesn’t have times that he does shut off his empathy at will, or behave deeply apathetically, but it’s very much a learned skill. There is a feral dog, a volatile child, an open wound of a person deep down but age and rigidly practiced self control have given him the ability to repress things and control his reactions in a way someone who does not struggle with that simply never would. In the way someone who struggles deeply socially might practice and overcompensate to the point of becoming excellent public speakers and social butterflies, he has crafted himself a person suit that is calm, always rational, collected and emotionless to serve him as he makes his way through the world. He’s almost a matryoshka of person suits. The first layer the world sees is the charming kind social butterfly that is perfectly normal. The second, the unfeeling sociopath, the monster. But that’s just another suit intentionally stitched to serve him. The third, further down, as I said, is the emotional burn victim whom every metaphorical breeze is a severe sensation. He is a master of repressing pain- whether it be no reaction to physical torture or violence, or over a decade of repressed memories, he takes pride in being able to control the volatile beast within and letting it out just enough. He actually is pretty successful with this for a long time! But of course will bursts his way into his life and breaks down those walls just enough that it’s like dominos and his grip on all of it starts to loosen.

SO. Pivoting onto post fall relationship.

I do think there’s a total acceptance of that vulnerability at that point. Some people see him as still having walls or even being resentful towards will but I really don’t think he is. I think he’s just genuinely euphoric that they are together and that there is family and peace and unconditional love at last. I think one of his biggest driving forces is a desire for genuine true all accepting-unconditional love. If I did the worst will you still love me. He’s definitely the bitch asking if you’d still love him if he was a worm. That was really the whole thing with Abigail in season 2-if you think I killed her will you still be able to love me and accept me. The tragedy of it is without Abigail will probably would have been able to forgive everything else but Hannibal needed to know even if he did the worst, that nothing would be enough to sever them. So now that he really does have that I see him as a deeply content cat purring and basking by wills side.

I do honestly think it’s touchy as hell right away too. On the cliff a dam is definitely broken and there is a kind of physical contact and intimacy there hasn’t been before, and I think once they start touching there’s no reigning that back in. I definitely think a first kiss would be initiated by will because funnily enough even though he doesn’t have it early on, by that point hannibal almost has a strange insecurity with him-he is deeply vulnerable to rejection from him and I think would be afraid of pushing especially now. That being said, I think it would happen very quickly, within the first day, and it’s as natural as breathing. They’re already in each others space, clinging to each other for warmth, survival, coming down from the high of everything, treating their wounds, at some point it goes from just breathing in each others air to being connected. They’ve begun to blur. I’m extremely soft about them showering together, sleeping intertwined, in the days after. There’s just such a peace after the hollow ache that has been there for both of them for so long.

I do think it is an interesting stretch for will to spend with hannibal because he starts to see him in a much more vulnerable light. He starts to be more of just a man to him, a man that he loves, that wakes up from nightmares or has flashes of insecurity he starts to recognize, that has strange little fussy habits and preferences that make will feel fond.

I was talking the other day that I feel like Will will sort of enjoy getting things for him but he’ll be so particular about how hannibal gets only the best. He’ll grumble all the way about it but go out of his way to get exactly the right coffee beans, tea leaves, flowers, etc for him. And it’s not even that hannibal cares, he would love anything from will! But it’s important to will that his beloved has exactly what he wants and likes. Of course will is ridiculously possessive, we know that, and it’s only amplified post fall. Hannibal is the most precious thing he has and of how he treats his dogs is any indication, he is VERY particular about what hannibal gets. I also think he’s spent so long wanting/trying to hurt him, there’s a particular delight in wanting to please him, to see him delighted and it’s because of HIM. Oh and if he gave something that hannibal could wear, the fucking power trip of that kind of claim on him.

I think they teach each other things a lot too. I love will teaching him fishing, and loving Hannibal’s undivided attention and how much hannibal wants to be involved in wills interests, and in turn will dabbles in cooking and music and such. They often cook together, although hannibal starts burning things more often than he ever has in his entire life because will gets very randy about him in the kitchen. And there’s absolutely nothing to unpack there, no sir!

Of course they do murder stuff, I mean. It’s them. But I think less and less as the life they’ve carved out together is too important to risk drawing attention, so it’s a special date night treat rather than Hannibal’s manic look at me come catch me flurry in Europe.

They also psychologically torture each other but it’s mainly just for enrichment in their cage. Will knows hannibal will go crazy and start eating the drywall if he’s bored even a second so he deliberately instigates shit and causes situations just so hannibal has a project. There’s a lot more honesty though when it really matters, the mind games and lying are mostly just a weird sex thing for them, they know where they’re at at the end of it. Hannibal also is running Pavlov-esque experiments on whatever dogs will gets just as something to do and will is begrudgingly okay with it as long as it’s harmless.

Hannibal’s social life is bad because will acts like a deranged lunatic going “you know other men????” Anytime he mentions like. The mailman. But he’s okay with it because will is all that he actually needs and the only person he actually cares to talk to-as long as will still goes with him to parties and operas because if he doesn’t get his little nights out on the town he will kill everyone and then himself. Relationships, it’s all about balance.

they should have made hannibal lecter cry more in the show

ILY ILY

Hannibal being excited to experience a gas station hot dog with Will would be so cute??!! like omg imagine the excited little thrill pulsing through Hannibal's veins 😭🩵 and Will is shocked when Hannibal eats without a single complaint. imagine if Hannibal wanted the exact same toppings as Will too. i'm wailing

also omg what about injured Hannibal (delirious on pain meds because he's come down with an infection) when they're driving in search of their safe house and there's only a gas station nearby. Will buys two hot dogs, eats one in a hurry and brings the other one out to the hearse (which would be perfect for allowing Hannibal to rest and not be seen lmao). imagine Will sliding in the back where Hannibal is resting. He wakes Hannibal and breaks the hot dog into small pieces. He expects Hannibal to grimace or refuse to eat or complain. Then, Will remembers Hannibal is mute and hasn't spoken a word in weeks. He slowly feeds Hannibal bite by bite. Will asks "Is that gonna be enough for you, darlin'?" and Hannibal's half-lidded eyes widen because Will's never used a pet name before. Hannibal nods, cheeks flushing and straining with a mouthful of food. Imagine Will's heart absolutely melting as he watches Hannibal eat little bites of a hot dog. 😭

***btw sorry for this ramble. I'm pmsing and the thought of Will watching Hannibal eat little bites of food is so cute at the moment it's about to make me weep lol.***

Will kisses Hannibal's forehead in silent praise and relief. He makes a move to leave to toss out the trash. But Hannibal's fingers curl into the sleeve of his sweater. He sees a crease of apprehension between Hannibal's brows and smooths it over with a thumb, gentle pressure, and kisses right over it. He knows Hannibal's anxiety spikes at night. That Hannibal is afraid of waking without Will. That Hannibal is afraid of Will being taken. That Hannibal is afraid of Will choosing to leave. Even now. He crumples the trash into the corner of the trunk and settles in next to Hannibal. He coaxes Hannibal closer, until Hannibal's cheek is resting flush against Will's neck. His fingers stroke through Hannibal's greasy hair, slow and gentle. He knows it's not what Hannibal is surrounded with which matters. He knows it's who Hannibal is surrounded by which matters.

sorry my brain just vomited that up and i couldn't stop typing because vulnerable Hannibal always has me in a chokehold. even when it's the prospect of Hannibal eating a hotdog

"hannibal HATES wills plaids" "hannibal would never let will wear plaid after the fall" hannibal gently dressed will in his softest plaid shirt and tucked him into bed before turning himself in to the fbi when will awoke and rejected him. i dont think he gives a fuck to be honest

long overdue, but here's the official fic for this plot bunny that's been roaming around in my brain since the start of september. behold: Hannibal's resurfacing childhood food trauma and some whump 😏

Hannibal dealing with mutism and a broken ankle and a sprained wrist post-fall. He hasn’t had control over what he eats in three years and now he has to depend on Will for each meal because he can barely hobble across the room without being scolded. He hasn’t felt this helpless since he was a child. At first, he barely has an appetite, but then after a few weeks of rest and recovery, he wakes up feeling ravenous. Normally, the portions Will has been providing are enough. But not today. He doesn’t want to be greedy because what if they run out of food and it’s all his fault? He can’t stand the thought of Will going hungry like his sister. Especially if it’s due to him. Every time his stomach churns with hunger, he feels more and more like the starving child he used to be. Forced to go to bed with an empty stomach because the other orphans would steal his food.

Today, Will brings in a steaming bowl of stew. Hannibal’s heart plummets.

He hasn’t eaten stew in four decades. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to keep it down. But he can’t refuse either. Not when Will worked so hard to make this. Not when he’s so hungry. He wants to feed himself because at least he’ll regain control over one aspect of his life and he knows Will must be tired. Will sighs in frustration. Bats his un-injured hand away from the steaming bowl—and that sets Hannibal off. Awakens a dormant fear in the nervous beat of his heart. Because Will could take it away, if struck with the urge. Just like the nasty men who teased him with food (purposely placed just out of reach) and snatched away morsels before he had a chance to even think of taking a bite. For the first time in weeks he utters an involuntary sound: a hoarse, desperate whimper.

Will can sense something isn’t quite right. He can sense the brewing panic warring inside Hannibal’s flitting gaze and rapidly rising chest. He realizes Hannibal isn’t just being defiant—intent on pushing his buttons. He softens his voice to a soothing timber and raises the spoon to Hannibal’s clenched mouth. “This ain’t going anywhere, cher.” He watches the harsh tremble of Hannibal’s jaw as it unclenches with a mixture of reluctance and relief. How a pair of wobbling lips clamp down around the spoon with desperation as if afraid to release.

Will watches Hannibal savor that first bite, suckling every drop as if it’s his very last. Will praises him with each spoonful. Wipes away the silent tears scattered across his cheeks. Presses a kiss to his forehead when his breathing becomes shaky with the beginnings of a weak, tearful hiccup. It heals something inside of him. Until he feels the weight of a chunk of hot meat resting on his tongue. Will comforts him through a moment of panic—making sure not to feed him any chunks of meat—only broth and vegetables. His stomach is still growling even though the bowl is nearly empty. He’s too hesitant to ask for a second serving. Due to the literal physical inability to speak and the emotional turmoil.

“Are you still hungry, cher?” Will asks.

Hannibal’s resolve crumbles.

me, trying to write a carefree pwp for the first time ever, but then the beginning somehow becomes 1k words where Hannibal and Will live in a secluded cottage in Ireland and have a little farm with chickens post-fall because of an apocalypse (though it's really Will being manipulative and lying to keep Hannibal from venturing off and possibly being seen) and Hannibal's amnesiac mind trusts everything Will says because mentally Hannibal is 18 years-old and developing a crush on the first person who understands him and accepts him after being freshly rejected by Lady Murasaki) and they haven't even kissed yet: damn the plot has in fact plotted again 😔

you are so right about everything and ily and your posts !! <3

Might be imagining things, but have you noticed how he first leans into the embrace, his face onto Will's shoulder?

I mean, he could've pulled Will closer first, without moving an inch. An act of power and having control over Will in his hands. But HE LEANED FIRST.

Maybe, only maybe, he NEEDED this embrace for comfort. It wasn't a terrifying gesture, it was meant for HIM, not Will. The embrace he imagined he'd get from Will, if they had run away together. The one that could've been a fresh start but it turned into a farewell.

Hannibal's toilet being removed in the BSHCI is something I'll always want to explore in fics because the whump possibilities are endless. Humans can supposedly only last three to five days without water. Hannibal is no different.

Hannibal's toilet is removed and a gaurd needs to escort him to the bathroom from now on. His meals are suddenly being left on the floor right outside of his cell where he can look at them but not reach them because no one wants to have to take him to the bathroom. For the first day, Hannibal doesn't feel very put off by it because the food isn't even that good. He needs to use the bathroom but no one comes. So he ends up peeing in a corner. Then, the next day comes and he starts to feel thirsty and his stomach is growling. His plate of food is left on the floor again. He smells the first plate of food start to go bad. Two more days pass and Hannibal's mouth is now dry as a desert. He tries to ignore the hunger and the thirst. He faces the wall to keep from seeing the food just out of reach. He knows humans can only last so long without water. That's when he starts to feel real fear. He swallows his own saliva because he's so thirsty, but it becomes impossible when his mouth is so dry. His lips are chapped now, uncomfortably so. He doesn't have to use the bathroom anymore because there's nothing to expel. This is the first time Hannibal's gone without food in decades. Imagine how much trauma would resurface. Being starved when food is still visible. Like in the cabin. He's getting quite scared now when it becomes the fifth day without food or water. He lays in bed because of fatigue. He doesn't expect to see Will on the afternoon of the sixth day. Imagine Hannibal regressing in that moment because it's too much; being so thirsty and hungry and seeing Will (who is mad at him after sending someone after Molly). He wonders if this was Will's idea. A form of punishment. He's curled up in bed when today's dinner plate is passed through his cell. He doesn't move to get it. There could be something in the food or the water. He's being watched by Will so obviously something must be amiss.

Five minutes pass and Will is still staring, brows furrowed. "Come eat," he says.

But Hannibal can't even if he's craving a droplet of water. Dread fills Hannibal's veins when Will leaves moments later. Then, Will returns twenty minutes later with a bag of food from one of Hannibal's favorite restaurants and a key and a water bottle. He feels relieved and overwhelmed all at once. Hannibal is struggling to sit up because he's feeling so weak and lightheaded. So Will needs to help him, and that's when Will notices how chapped Hannibal's mouth is. That he's probably not eaten or drank anything at all in the last few days.

Imagine Will asking "Are you thirsty, sweetheart?" and Hannibal starts tearing up and nodding. Will guides a straw past Hannibal's chapped lips and is left in shock when Hannibal finishes the entire bottle in a minute, still trying to drink even when there is no water left.

imagine Hannibal getting attacked by a shark after Will pulls them over the cliff.

it's the first time Will ever hears Hannibal scream and sound sincerely terrified.

Hannibal keeps screaming Will's name over and over because he's scared and in agony and keeps getting pulled under the waves by the shark. Will realizes pulling them into the ocean at night was actually a mistake.