I Am Really Happy Will Mentions Hannibal's Ass Because That Implies He Really Thought About Hannibal's

I really wanna know what happened in Mizumono moments after Hannibal smelt Freddie’s perfume on Will. How did he end the visit? How did Will not notice a shift in the atmosphere with his empathy? Like come on, Willy boy—put that over-empathetic brain to work. 😩

And the dinner scene when Hannibal suggests they run away together, feed Will’s dogs, and leave a note for Alana—but Will doesn’t want to. I bet Hannibal was fighting back a sniffle and a tearful hiccup with each bite. You know that sore, sandpaper sensation in your throat when you’re about to burst into tears, but holding it back?

Imagine if while Hannibal was eating, he choked because his throat felt so raw and Will had to do the Heimlich maneuver on him—and it only worsened his emotional state because Will has been playing him and just witnessed him gasping for his life over a small chunk of lamb. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but Will believes it’s only a simple case of watery eyes. Then an ugly, voice-cracking sob bursts from Hannibal’s chest because Will is being so gentle with him—rubbing his back and asking if he’s all right (since he’s never nothing but elegance and grace 24/7)—and for the first time in decades his voice abandons him.

He hasn’t felt this off-kilter or this unlovable since he was in the orphanage—mute and alone—just waiting for someone to truly see him.

Will’s seen him—but he knows Will doesn’t want him as he is—who he’s always been. It’s a crushing blow. One he never thought he would have to experience because he never imagined meeting someone like Will.

update: i finally finished chapter 11 and had to shower and wipe away my tears and snot because i've been ugly crying, but omg y'all go read this asap and please share your thoughts, even if they are small, with the author because this is the most phenomenal fic i've ever read and it's genuinely better than any movie i've seen in recent years. <3

@cervviidae i couldn't add gifs in my comments, so here are some of my reactions because i have to ramble!

this was me when the angst was angst-ing and my reaction any time i quoted something or raved in my comments

this was me when Hannibal laid his head in Will's lap, and when Hannibal cried during sex in the tent, and when they put flowers in each other's hair and felt pretty and then made love to each other, and when Hannibal dreamed about speaking out loud to Will and wanted to be a little song-bird to only sing of Will and build a nest out of the syllables of Will's name and his own hair and lay eggs of adoration as that little bird and become the nature surrounding it, and when Hannibal felt childlike fear at the thought of losing Will, and when Hannibal struggled with the tent, and when Will called Hannibal little darlin', and when i read the entirety of chapter 11.

i loved it so so much!! <3

i know this is on my vulnerable Hannibal fic rec list already, but i cannot recommend it enough because it is so beautiful and the last two chapters are finally up! everyone and their momma, go read i have loved you in a tame way & i have loved you wild by @cervviidae (and leave a comment for the author if you can, they deserve so much love) because it is such a beautiful Hannigram AU!! i rarely read AUs myself, but this has quickly become one of my favorite fics of all time <3 i'm about to read the last two chapters and i'm so excited to see how it ends <3

vulnerable Hannibal fanfic idea rambles:

Post-Fall Hannibal and Will on a getaway boat. One day, Will coaxes Hannibal up deck to sunbathe because he's been deprived of the natural outside air and the sun's rays for so long. Hannibal curls up on the sofa and rests his head in Will's lap. He hasn't felt the touch of another in years and gasps when Will's fingers begin stroking through his hair. He doesn't know what to do in wake of the sudden onslaught of affection. Will's fingers trace over his temple, his clenched eyelids to wipe away the moisture, his dampening cheek. He doesn't anticipate the next moment: Will leaning down to kiss away a stray tear on his temple and whispering reassurance in his ear.

Hannibal being self-conscious when he first starts speaking again after becoming mute for a few weeks/months because his accent is thicker.

Hannibal getting an infection post-fall because his immune system is weak from being isolated for so long. When he has a fever and Will puts him into a cold bath to bring it down, he panics and Will has to reassure him and hold him down the entire time.

Hannibal's food issues resurfacing when he gets an infection and can't keep food down for nearly a week.

Hannibal and Will at a party (sometime post-fall when they're recovered) because Will's coworker invited them and Will agrees because it'll help them blend in. there's a little girl who made homemade ice cream and asks them to try it. Hannibal refuses because the temperature and texture of ice cream is too similar to snow. imagine if it's already angsty because they're in a small argument and Will says something like "open your mouth and eat the damn ice cream" (because the girl is watching to see if they like it) and Will shoves a spoonful of it into Hannibal's mouth. triggering Hannibal's cryophobia.

Hannibal being overwhelmed when Will asks if he wants a second helping of food for the first time when they're finally recovered from the fall. He's only ever been given three helpings of food and an occasional snack throughout the last 3 years. (turning into a bit of a ramble) but imagine if Hannibal is struck with a sudden familiar urge that he hasn't felt since living at his uncle's home: the urge to eat as much as he can now that there is unlimited access. Hannibal waits too long to answer and Will takes his silence as confirmation that he doesn't want seconds. He does. But it feels too late to answer; a missed opportunity. Cue Will's empathy kicking in and he's hit with every emotion Hannibal is feeling and sits back down at the table (right next to Hannibal instead of across the table) with a second serving, coaxing Hannibal to eat; that it's okay to still be hungry.

Hannibal forgetting certain English words when he's exhausted (or because of brain damage) post-fall. Will asks what he wants for breakfast and Hannibal mumbles "blynas" or "le crêpe" instead of pancake.

Hannibal being nervous to say "i love you" for the first time to Will because it's unpracticed; something he's not yet said in the English language.

Hannibal freezing up when Will asks what's the last thing he ever said in his native language.

Imagine if during Will’s honey trap era, he dropped by unannounced and found Hannibal slumped on the floor of his kitchen—wearing his red sweater and matching pajama pants—too weak and fatigued from the flu to make it back to bed.

He’s fevered and shivering, barely holding onto a half-eaten piece of toast that’s dangling between his sleep-slackened fingers. His bangs are fanned out across his forehead, softening his features and two days’ growth of stubble dusts his jaw. Will manages to wake him and strips him down to his boxers to wrangle him into a cold bath in hopes of bringing down his fever. Hannibal panics and tries to climb out—away from the frigid water—but Will holds him down.

Cue Hannibal’s cryophobia emerging for the first time in decades and he regresses. In under a minute, he’s sobbing and on the verge of hyperventilating, clinging to Will and losing his footing as he makes another effort to escape, slipping back into the water and busting his chin on the edge of the tub.

i think about this all the time omg 😭 i read a fic about years where Will cooked Hannibal Lithuanian foods and he had a mini breakdown. and i have not stopped thinking about it since 💔

Do you guys ever think about how he never cooks food that would be familiar to him from childhood/Lithuania because I’m thinking about how he never cooks food that would be familiar to him from his childhood/Lithuania

Person who sent the prompt about Hannibal becoming skinny from the BSHCI and feeling dysmorphic over it—tbh both your options sound like they have such potential!! I was thinking about Hannibal growing too depressed to go on eating, but the other part of me thinks that because of his past he wouldn’t allow himself to starve like that (so long as he knows that his food isn’t poisoned). If he was deprived of food…I can only imagine the wrath Will would feel when Hannibal feebly tells him why he became so skinny.

omg i love that! someone suggested this and i am having thoughts about maybe one day, Hannibal was served soup and he ended up not being able to eat it. normally, Hannibal at least eats (because he doesn't like going hungry), but when it comes to soup, he simply cannot stomach it--especially stew. then one of the orderlies takes notice of it (that his food is nearly untouched) and from then on, soup is what Hannibal is given. Hannibal tries to eat, but he ends up vomiting after like five spoonfuls, and relives flashbacks / nightmares of his time in the cabin. soon, Hannibal loses the desire to eat and feels his stomach churn at every meal. then once Will sees how skinny Hannibal's become after recovering post-fall, suggests something easy for him to eat--like soup--and Hannibal's reliving his worst nightmare. but then Will catches on and suggests something else, anything Hannibal is willing to eat.

On the other hand, imagine Hannibal becoming blind because of glaucoma. The same thing happens. Hannibal is pulled out of bed and dragged out into the hall and tries to fight back and gets shot in the stomach. He can only hear scuffling. Everything is blurry and seeing in dim lighting is impossible. That's why Will would always leave little night lights around the house. He can hear Will fighting back and cursing. The man says they only want Will alive. Hannibal is dragged outside. He claws at the ground, nails scraping against sea shells and sand. Then, catching on wood. Their dock. Then, a rope is tied around Hannibal's ankle. They know he can't see because they've been watching Hannibal and Will for a while. Hannibal is thrown off the dock and into the ocean, bleeding and unable to see where the surface is, because they want to watch him struggle. But they won't let him drown (okay, don't imagine Hannibal being scared a shark may get him unless you want to cry like me. but also imagine Hannibal's other foot being bitten by a shark and mangled, but his foot remains intact, just damaged. imagine Hannibal's little gurgling scream underneath the water, where he's cold and frightened and being shaken around by the shark before it lets go.) Then, Will kills all three men in a rage and swims to Hannibal, wearing one of the night vision goggles. It breaks Will's heart to see Hannibal disoriented in the current, swimming the wrong way. He grabs the rope and tugs Hannibal close. It's the first time Hannibal shows true fear after losing the ability to see clearly, clinging to Will.

Imagine Hannibal going deaf when he's like 60 years-old. The world around him is always muffled and he can no longer hear Will's voice. Imagine Will noticing Hannibal is insecure about speaking now because it's difficult to articulate when he can't hear, especially since English is not his native language. Hannibal doesn't know it, but his accent thickens over time and Will finds it endearing because only he gets to hear it. Soon, he rarely speaks anymore and communicates via writing. One night, Hannibal wakes to a gun against his temple. It's cold. The captors are wearing night vision goggles and drag him and Will out of bed. Hannibal fights back and is shot in the stomach. He tries to call out for Will as he's dragged outside where it's pitch black. He knows his voice is probably slurred because he can't hear himself when he speaks and he's forgotten how many English words sound. He can't see anything. He can't hear anything. All he knows is he's bleeding and being dragged across their yard and Will is not here. Imagine Will hearing Hannibal's voice for the first time in ages, slurred and thick and trembling.

Imagine Hannibal losing control of his bowels and trembling and whimpering through the agony while clinging to Will and sinking down to the ground when both knees give out. Imagine Will trying to calm Hannibal and checking every now and then to make sure no one's spotted them. Imagine Will lowering himself down to Hannibal's level and cradling Hannibal by the waist to keep him up and rubbing over his cramping stomach. Imagine Hannibal's face, wet with tears of agony and shame, tucked under Will's chin and Hannibal's whimpers puffing against Will's neck. Imagine Hannibal regressing in response to the putrid scent of feces; remembering finding Mischa's milk teeth in the toilet. Imagine Will's palm cradling the back of Hannibal's skull and feeling unmoored when Hannibal utters a heart-stopping word.

"Tėvelis."

Will doesn't understand the meaning, but the tremble and vulnerability in Hannibal's voice is unfamiliar.

"What?" Will asks, voice gentle. "Tell me in English, darlin'."

A minute passes. Then, Hannibal's breath shudders around another sob. "Daddy."

@cedarxwing i just reread that little excerpt you showed me months ago about Hannibal's trauma with the scent of 💩 and came up with this. maybe i'll turn it into an actual fic one day!

Post-Fall Hannibal and Will are at a gathering (to blend in), and Hannibal's stomach is still sensitive. They've just finished dinner and Hannibal's stomach is gurgling and bloated. They're standing around, sipping on wine glasses. Hannibal sets a half-empty glass on the nearest table. He's desperate to find a bathroom yet doesn't want to cause a scene, mostly because it may upset Will. He excuses himself and scans the room in hopes of finding a bathroom; all the while barely able to breathe past the sharp pain burrowing beneath each rib. He knows something is bound to come out one way or another. Each step becomes less stable. His pulse is thrumming loud enough to drown out the rest of the world and Will's footsteps. He gasps when a set of fingers curl around one wrist.

"Where are you going?" Will asks. He notices rising panic wash over Hannibal's features--a foreign sight.

Hannibal's stomach clenches, wrenching free a whimper. "Bathroom, please." He won't be able to control it much longer. He knows and doesn't want to cause a scene, much less shit himself in front of Will. He blinks past a sting of fresh tears, accent thickening. "Will, I-I need a bathroom."

Then, Will softens in understanding and leads Hannibal away from the crowd (first, asking a waiter where the nearest bathroom is; unfortunately, upstairs). Hannibal is sweating now, palm sliding against Will's own and finger's trembling in their squeeze. He's gentle when the need arises; when Hannibal's footsteps begin to slow and whimpers become a constant background noise; when Hannibal needs to brace himself against the nearest concrete wall, and wrap an arm around a swollen and aching belly; when Hannibal's knees begin to shake.

"Will," Hannibal rasps, voice curling around an emerging sob. "I won't make it. Too far."

this vulnerable Hannibal ramble has a happy ending. i promise. ♡ this post is only meant for people ages 18+ because it does tread into nsfw territory.

don't think about Hannibal noticing cancer symptoms a few months post-fall. specifically, bladder cancer. don't think about Hannibal hiding this from Will because they're on the run after nearly being caught. don't think about Hannibal getting shot in his pelvis during their escape and collapsing to the ground. don't think about Will carrying Hannibal (who whimpers against Will's neck with each abrupt jostle of his body) to safety towards a getaway car. desperately trying to stop the bleeding. finding a small emergency clinic and holding the doctor at gunpoint until Hannibal's wound is tended to.

don't think about Will discovering the news of Hannibal's stage 3 bladder cancer because the doctor states there's no point in saving Hannibal, who only has a few months to live at most. don't think about Will's entire world crumbling in that instance. seeing Hannibal's limp body on the operating table. thinking back to all the times Hannibal winced upon sitting with a full belly after dinner (because it put more pressure on his bladder) and how he would discreetly leave to change into a more comfortable pair of pants or shift in discomfort. don't think about Will passing it off as simple weight gain. then thinking back to the moments when Hannibal would spend long periods of time in the bathroom (scrubbing down the bathroom to limit Will's chance of finding traces of blood in the toilet. or simply straining to urinate).

don't think about Will confronting Hannibal once he's conscious. don't think about Hannibal's face crumpling because he's scared this'll be Will's motivation to leave; to go back to his old life now that Hannibal's is coming to an end. don't think about Hannibal spending these last few months knowing something was wrong; having an inkling there was probably a tumor growing around the area of his groin. yet having no means to get a diagnosis. not without the risk of being caught. not without the risk of losing Will. don't think about Hannibal begging Will to leave; to do the complete opposite of what he truly wants during his last few months of living. because Hannibal doesn't want Will to witness his rapid decline.

don't think about Hannibal and Will crying in each other's arms. don't think about them both having to accept their fate. don't think about Hannibal still attempting to be intimate with Will even as the act of orgasming results in agony instead of pleasure; how it feels like the muscles in his bladder are about to rupture the very last time he's intimate with Will. how he cries out of fear of disappointing Will any further. because he wants it too (this emotional and physical connection) and is disappointed in himself. and he wants to feel a sense of normalcy that he'll never have again. don't think about Will reassuring Hannibal with tender kisses and gentle words. stating sex isn't necessary. not if it only serves to bring Hannibal more and more pain.

don't think about Hannibal being in the bathroom one night and Will waking to an empty bed. finding Hannibal sitting on the toilet instead of standing. exhausted and on the verge of tears (because he needs to relieve the pressure in his bladder and urinate, but the tumor has doubled in size and is causing a blockage). don't think about Hannibal finally breaking down upon seeing Will because the discomfort is rising and his bladder feels as if it's about to explode. don't think about Will rushing to lay Hannibal on the floor and inserting a catheter. whispering frantic apologies and words of reassurance when Hannibal sobs and whimpers from the pain. hugging Hannibal once it's inserted and the pressure eventually abates. rubbing Hannibal's distended abdomen and bladder in soothing circles. don't think about Hannibal having to wear a catheter 24/7 during his last month of life.

don't think about Hannibal waking Will up in the middle of the night. because he knows he doesn't have much time left. don't think about Will awakening to an unfamiliar shift in Hannibal's tone: frail and tinged with fear and desperation for Will. don't think about Will holding Hannibal until the very end. don't think about Will falling asleep with Hannibal's limp body cradled to his chest. don't think about Will living alone for months on end. don't think about Will one day falling asleep in their large bed and somehow time traveling in the past; ending up at the cliff house with this past version of Hannibal (who's just entered the house with Will frozen in place in the driveway because all he can see is the back of Hannibal's head).

don't think about Will's voice breaking when he chokes out a whisper of Hannibal's name. don't think about Hannibal stopping mid-step because hearing his name fall from Will's mouth still feels foreign and it's all he's ever wanted. don't think about all the emotions warring inside Will's mind. don't think about Will striding across the room, hands shaking as he pulls Hannibal into a fierce embrace. don't think about Will whispering the words: "i've missed you so damn much." or even: "hi, baby." because he's overcome with emotion at having a second chance.

(i'll admit that i did in fact type this all out while listening to 'I Bet On Losing Dogs' by Mitski lol. it is perfect inspiration though. because you guys... imagine Will blinking past tears and thinking "i've got my baby back" and being so happy to reunite with Hannibal).

don't think about Will kissing Hannibal with a frenzied desperation and picking Hannibal up to take him to bed. don't think about Hannibal gasping into Will's mouth and feeling nervous and excited all at once. because this is all he's wanted for the last three years. don't think about Will realizing he shouldn't rush this (no matter how overwhelming it feels to be blessed with a second chance) because this is technically Hannibal's first time (even though Will is now familiar with every inch of Hannibal's body and knows what makes him gasp and writhe and tremble with pleasure).

don't think about Will noticing the familiar pinched expression twisting Hannibal's features with visible worry and nervousness. the same expression Will witnessed months ago during their last intimate night together; when Hannibal worried he'd disappointed Will; when Hannibal's agony drowned out every trace of pleasure that Will was desperate to wring out from his weak and easily fatigued body; when it became apparent Hannibal had endured this discomfort for Will's satisfaction. don't think about Will realizing this time that Hannibal's discomfort and apprehension is due to being touch-starved and that he's nervous about climaxing too soon. that it'll disappoint Will.

Will feels the complete opposite of disappointment and wants to witness Hannibal succumb to every pleasurable sensation. even if it ends sooner than Hannibal wants.

imagine Will eating Hannibal out with sheer tenderness. relentless and fluid arcs of his swirling tongue and drawn out suckles. imagine Will's hand reaching between Hannibal's spread legs and wrapping around his throbbing cock. imagine Hannibal's flushed face buried in the bed sheets, fingers clawing at the comforter for stability because he never expected his first time with Will to be like this. imagine Hannibal on the verge of sobbing because it's too much; too foreign of a sensation; being touched and coaxed towards a rapidly approaching climax by a skilled mouth and a steady hand. being worshipped by Will after enduring years of forced celibacy.

imagine Will clutching one of Hannibal's trembling hands and reminding Hannibal it's okay to come; that he doesn't have to wait any longer; that he deserves this. imagine Will's thumb smoothing over Hannibal's twitching knuckles. Will's tongue diving back in between Hannibal's red and chafed cheeks. Hannibal's movements and whimpers bordering on frantic as he thrusts into the calloused cage of Will's fist until he's ultimately overcome by a breath-stealing climax.

imagine Will cherishing this moment with his entire heart. knowing he was once again able to bring Hannibal over the threshold of desperation and into the pleasure of release without any trace of pain. something he hasn't been able to do in a very long time.

imagine Will kissing every inch of Hannibal's sweaty skin. leading Hannibal (who's legs are shaking, rendering him off balance) into the shower. washing Hannibal's hair and body with gentle touches. kissing away Hannibal's silent tears of overwhelm. washing Hannibal's back. kissing Hannibal's nape and the Verger brand. wrapping his arms around Hannibal's waist. hands trailing over the thick hair curling over Hannibal's groin; right around the area of Hannibal's bladder; searching for any signs of discomfort. feeling his heart skip a beat when Hannibal's breath hitches; out of overwhelm or pain, he can't be sure and doesn't dare to ask. not wanting to break the peace of this moment. not wanting to alarm Hannibal (who finally seems to have everything he's ever wanted). it's a long-awaited moment Will can't bear to ruin for Hannibal. not right now.

it prompts Will to make a spur of the moment decision that they should leave as soon as possible; flee to another country where Hannibal can get screened for signs of bladder cancer or any other anomalies. when Hannibal eventually questions Will's motives for a finding nearby doctor, he makes an excuse that it's a simple precaution; that it's because Hannibal hasn't been to a doctor in three years. imagine if in this universe, Hannibal's bladder cancer is caught and treated early. imagine if in this universe, Will and Hannibal get their happily ever after. something Will never takes for granted. even during arguments or disagreements.

the entire plot of Hannibal is literally that two gays matched each others freak a little too hard and ascended from humanity itself and started eating people