Coffee-in-rain

omg that is so, so cool you do voice overs for a living! if you ever want to create podfics for any of mine, i would welcome it with open ears and fall on my hands and knees in gratitude and awe and send a million kudos your way <3

This is maybe a shot in the dark, but I record voice overs for a living and have become so intrigued by podfics! I know it can be a sensitive topic—asking writers for permission to create them—but would any of my Hannibal moots want one made of their fic?? Lmk!

Just curious 😅

I'm exploring this in my cliff house fic right now, but thoughts on potential abuse that took place during Hannibal's stay at the BSHCI?

They took his toilet and books. I get the feeling there was sleep and food deprivation. I think lot of the guards didn't treat him well when they had to deal with him. Not like Alana would do anything about that. Especially after they figure out he won't attack them or try to escape and they basically have a willing punching bag. (Especially after Will gets married, Hannibal loses what little fight he has)

What if as they start recovering from the fall and getting closer, Will starts to see little tells and triggers and starts to piece together that Hannibal was not in fact treated to a luxury stay under Alana's care as he thought. Cue Hannibal constantly denying that he has trauma and fighting the tlc Will is trying to give and Will dealing with the guilt in the aftermath for being the cause of it all. Bonus points if Will goes into a rage and goes after (or at least wants to) the people who hurt him and Hannibal gets all flustered about being protected and cared for

OMG I AGREE!! also very excited for your fic. i'll touch on Hannibal's abuse in the BSHCI because you know whump is my bread and butter 😏

firstly, i think Hannibal did indeed face abuse (emotional and physical) like gaurds being rough and not caring if he got thrashed around or injured on their end. like omg imagine if when Hannibal was in that dolly thing with the wheels (wearing his straitjacket), one of the gaurds who absolutely hated him sped up the dolly thing and roughly pushed it over so Hannibal landed face first onto the floor with no way to brace himself and got a bloody nose and black eye. i might write a fic about that actually: Will finding Hannibal sedated and crumpled on the floor with the dolly thing crushing him. 😭

sorry i got sidetracked, but anywho!! i do think Hannibal faced starvation and missed meals, too. maybe not consistently. but at least a few times during those three years. i bet it messed with his mind a lot more than he would willingly admit to himself and bring back memories of being chained up with a growling stomach. on those nights, Hannibal probably struggled with night terrors.

i know this next part is so niche and not everyone needs to agree with it, but my headcanon is after Hannibal's toilet was removed there was at least one instance where laxatives were snuck into Hannibal's food or water, or Hannibal was restrained and forcefully given an enema by a few of the gaurds so they could watch Hannibal suffer without access to a toilet.

another headcanon i have is that sometimes Hannibal regressed in the BSHCI when the isolation and touch starvation became too unbearable. little Hannibal would curl up under the blanket and fold it over his head to be out of view when sucking his thumb for comfort and rocking himself to sleep. ohmygod what if i write a fic about that too?! 😭 Will going to visit Hannibal and Alana tells him Hannibal is regressed 💔 crying and i haven't even written it yet lmfao.

Hannibal regressed at least a few times. especially on his birthday or mischa's birthday because those are difficult days to be alone. Hannibal tried not to regress on Will's birthday because little Hannibal wouldn't think Will wanted to see him ever again.

going back to the toilet removal and laxative/enema torture: Hannibal probably regressed in those moments because such a loss of control was nearly foreign and unbearable.

Hannibal was probably triggered with memories of being trapped in the cabin with the men who killed his family (before he became mute) and asking to use the bathroom yet being forced to hold it for as long as possible. even when it became agonizing, especially when he was sick and couldn't hold in diarrhea. the men would punish young Hannibal with beatings and not give him anything to clean up the mess or throw him out in the snow for a period of time as punishment or lessen the amount of food he would be given, if any at all.

in the BSHCI, Hannibal would probably try to mask any signs of regression, though, so mutism was the best coping mechanism in those circumstances.

also omg we have the same brain because i've been thinking about Hannibal being sleep deprived in the BSHCI since winter. my headcanon is that it would occur on rare occasions, but be enough to send Hannibal into a regressed state. for two days (because that's as long as the guards would have during the weekend when Alana would not be there) lights would not be turned off when scheduled to be and music would blare loud in the speakers constantly. little Hannibal would be overwhelmed and shove both hands over his ears to soften the sound as much as possible, but it wouldn't offer much relief at all. i might write a fic about this too omg because imagine Will seeing a sleep deprived version of little Hannibal sobbing for silence and darkness and sleep in the BSHCI. 😭

now, on the topic of Will noticing signs of Hannibal's abuse/mistreatment

the first time Hannibal felt the urge to use the bathroom in Will's presence would probably bring up feelings of unease and resurfacing emotions and memories. especially if Hannibal was injured and incapable of getting around without assistance from Will. Hannibal would most likely involuntarily regress in that moment because there was (in little Hannibal's mind) a very high likelihood of being denied the option to seek out a bathroom and a very high likelihood of being tortured in such a way that made losing control of one's bladder or bowels inevitable and a very high likelihood of being punished for it. it would shock Will, seeing Hannibal fall into a state of regression and clearly be distressed about being allowed to use the bathroom.

my headcanon is that Will instantly adores little Hannibal and feels an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and fondness for this newfound version of Hannibal.

another moment where Hannibal may regress post-fall is during the first time Hannibal is hungry and it is not at all close to dinner time yet. Hannibal knows asking to have a snack is not some huge feat or something to be wary of while in Will's presence. but regressing temporarily eases Hannibal's worries about possibly being denied food (because Hannibal is hopeful Will would not deny little Hannibal the comfort of food). little Hannibal is cautious in asking Will for a snack and Will can sense it's a monumental moment. Will rushes to bring little Hannibal a snack and settles into bed and hand-feeds little Hannibal every bite to make it clear there is no reason for Hannibal to ever again be wary about asking for food. regressed or non regressed.

these are all my thoughts i have right now, but i may come back to this eventually and add some more. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and sending in this ask. i would absolutely love love love talking more about vulnerable Hannibal with y'all. please feel free to send in more asks or share your thoughts with me about vulnerable Hannibal! <3

my first vulnerable Hannibal ramble for the new year. let me set the scene.

Will left before Hannibal woke up to take care of something important. let's pretend Hannibal was halfway to brain dead or something and he hadn't awoken since falling into the ocean and banging his head on the corner of a rock. Hannibal wakes up and learns of Will's absence from Chiyoh. Hannibal's heart drops so fast it falls out of his ass and he becomes even more withdrawn and depressed and doesn't ever speak a word.

one evening, Hannibal drinks for the first time in three years (whiskey because it reminds him of Will) and is curled up on living room couch (alone because Chiyoh left long ago) when the front door creeks open. Hannibal is certain it's been locked all day (because he's become a hermit and only ever leaves the house when absolutely necessary) and yet he does not care if it's someone intending to end his life because there is no meaning to life without Will. the scent of soap fills the room as do quiet footsteps. then there's a gentle caress against his cheek and a pair of lips pressing warmth against his forehead. Hannibal believes it's a dream because the whiskey makes it difficult to open his eyes and he feels warm and boneless from the alcohol. it must be a dream.

"Hi, sweetheart." Will's voice is soft with affection.

cue Hannibal's eyes flying open and witnessing Will's fond smile and his brain short-circuits because no one's ever used that endearment in reference to him until now. also imagine if Hannibal had a brain injury from hitting his head on a rock or being in a medically induced coma and it ends up impairing his speech and he struggles to pronounce Will's name because it would be his first time speaking in months.

Will can't comprehend it at first. but it eventually sets in. that frail sound emerging from Hannibal's mouth. then Will whispers: "Yeah, darlin'. It's me."

Hannibal's heart is melting as he's gently guided into an embrace he can barely reciprocate because his arms feel so heavy from alcohol and the only other noise he can make is involuntary: a wordless whimper as reality sets in. Will hugs Hannibal for what feels like an eternity and yet it doesn't feel long enough. to be held in Will's arms as if his presence is something worth cherishing and reflecting on. then Hannibal hears the words he never thought he would hear.

"I've missed you."

vulnerable Hannibal fanfic idea rambles:

Post-Fall Hannibal and Will on a getaway boat. One day, Will coaxes Hannibal up deck to sunbathe because he's been deprived of the natural outside air and the sun's rays for so long. Hannibal curls up on the sofa and rests his head in Will's lap. He hasn't felt the touch of another in years and gasps when Will's fingers begin stroking through his hair. He doesn't know what to do in wake of the sudden onslaught of affection. Will's fingers trace over his temple, his clenched eyelids to wipe away the moisture, his dampening cheek. He doesn't anticipate the next moment: Will leaning down to kiss away a stray tear on his temple and whispering reassurance in his ear.

Hannibal being self-conscious when he first starts speaking again after becoming mute for a few weeks/months because his accent is thicker.

Hannibal getting an infection post-fall because his immune system is weak from being isolated for so long. When he has a fever and Will puts him into a cold bath to bring it down, he panics and Will has to reassure him and hold him down the entire time.

Hannibal's food issues resurfacing when he gets an infection and can't keep food down for nearly a week.

Hannibal and Will at a party (sometime post-fall when they're recovered) because Will's coworker invited them and Will agrees because it'll help them blend in. there's a little girl who made homemade ice cream and asks them to try it. Hannibal refuses because the temperature and texture of ice cream is too similar to snow. imagine if it's already angsty because they're in a small argument and Will says something like "open your mouth and eat the damn ice cream" (because the girl is watching to see if they like it) and Will shoves a spoonful of it into Hannibal's mouth. triggering Hannibal's cryophobia.

Hannibal being overwhelmed when Will asks if he wants a second helping of food for the first time when they're finally recovered from the fall. He's only ever been given three helpings of food and an occasional snack throughout the last 3 years. (turning into a bit of a ramble) but imagine if Hannibal is struck with a sudden familiar urge that he hasn't felt since living at his uncle's home: the urge to eat as much as he can now that there is unlimited access. Hannibal waits too long to answer and Will takes his silence as confirmation that he doesn't want seconds. He does. But it feels too late to answer; a missed opportunity. Cue Will's empathy kicking in and he's hit with every emotion Hannibal is feeling and sits back down at the table (right next to Hannibal instead of across the table) with a second serving, coaxing Hannibal to eat; that it's okay to still be hungry.

Hannibal forgetting certain English words when he's exhausted (or because of brain damage) post-fall. Will asks what he wants for breakfast and Hannibal mumbles "blynas" or "le crêpe" instead of pancake.

Hannibal being nervous to say "i love you" for the first time to Will because it's unpracticed; something he's not yet said in the English language.

Hannibal freezing up when Will asks what's the last thing he ever said in his native language.

Hannibal's gunshot wound becomes infected sometime post-fall. He regresses (involuntarily) because it's too much stress for his body to handle at the moment. It comes time for Will to lance the boil and normally, Hannibal's pain tolerance is very high (most things don't phase him), but right now, he's restless: writhing and sobbing as Will proceeds to drain the puss from the infected area.

Will gets a job post-fall to maintain appearances. He comes home one afternoon to an empty house until he reaches the backyard and finds Hannibal curled up on the outdoor sofa, napping beneath the sun.

this next one is a very old idea (from 2023) that i never explored: Hannibal and Will are at a restaurant for a dinner with a coworker, etc to blend in. Someone is a relative of one of the men who killed Hannibal's family. Hannibal makes the connection and doesn't want to cause a scene, but speaking becomes impossible. His speech starts to slur and he stumbles over every other word. He excuses himself and retreats into the bathroom and throws up. Will finds Hannibal hunched over the toilet and all Hannibal can do is cling to Will, begging to be taken home.

another old idea (i don't think i'll ever write it myself, but i would love to read it if anyone ever wrote it): Hannibal and Will are staying with Lady Murasaki while they recover. One night, Will asks Lady Murasaki what Hannibal was like when he came to live with her and his Uncle Robertos. Will learns of Hannibal's muteness, nightmares, issues with wetting the bed during night terrors, and his issues with food: how he was very malnourished and hesitant to eat in front of other people, how he would either gaurd his plate and eat as fast as he could or refuse to eat all depending on the meal, how he panicked the first time they tried to serve him a bowl of soup, how he would sometimes raid the pantry or the fridge in the middle of the night when he thought everyone was asleep, how they would find food hidden in his room for safekeeping, how he cried the first time they gave him a birthday cake (because he hadn't experienced that in so long), how he refused to eat most cold foods (like ice cream, etc). Will also learns of Hannibal's progression from muteness leading to the ability to speak again. How Lady Murasaki and his Uncle Robertos noticed Hannibal was self-conscious during that first year (because vocal fatigue would often set in, making it even harder to pronounce words without it being hindered by his accent, while learning a new language. Especially because other children would tease Hannibal for having such a thick accent which he eventually trained himself to tone down). Cue Will's heart breaking because he wonders if Hannibal still does it: tones down his accent out of worry people would struggle to understand what he said. Then Will goes back upstairs, where Hannibal is asleep and writhing in bed because of a nightmare. He recognizes the stench of urine and wakes Hannibal (who's in distress), providing comfort and helping Hannibal get cleaned up and changed into a new set of pajamas. Will comforts Hannibal (knowing he's ashamed for wetting the bed) and calls him "sweetheart" for the first time.

i never really explore any headcanons or fanfic ideas outside of hurt/comfort and vulnerable Hannibal. but i just discovered a brand new word and needed to get this out.

imagine Hannibal being embarrassed of his involuntary bodily functions around Will. namely: burping and farting because it happens to everyone from time to time. imagine Hannibal becoming bloated after his first solid meal post-fall and he can no longer hold in a silent little toot.

Will's nose crinkles in disgust. "Goddamn. What is that smell?"

and Hannibal blurts out this phrase in the span of a single breath: "My sincerest apologies, Will. It was a simple case of Borborygmus--"

"I have no idea what the hell just came out of your mouth." Will damn near has a stroke attempting to recall the pronunciation of that unfamiliar word. "But I'll need you to explain it to me in English."

"Borborygmus -- intestinal rumbling caused by moving gas -- leading to Flatulence -- the releasing of said gas."

Hannibal doing anything but admitting the words "i farted" out loud.

imagine Will and Hannibal sharing a bed on a boat post-fall. Hannibal is in a coma. Will keeps watch over Hannibal when his own recovery is improving steadily. Hannibal starts to improve little by little. imagine Will using the bathroom in the morning and coming back to bed and being shocked at the sight of Hannibal's mouth parted (like when you're asleep and can't help it) and he sees Hannibal's cute little fangs peaking out and wants to cry and brush them, knowing Hannibal's mouth must be dry. imagine Will opening Hannibal's mouth further to inspect them and see how adorably pointy they are. then Will pulls the corners of Hannibal's mouth up to form a "smile" and damn near ugly cries because the sight of Hannibal smiling or ever showing his teeth is a foreign concept.

Updated with four new additional fics as of 9/13/24!

Vulnerable Hannibal Fic Rec List

On my previous post, people were interested in finding fics where Hannibal is touch-starved and or dealing with separation anxiety post-fall. So here is a small list of some that may fit that theme! The first five fics are mine, but the rest are some of my favorite fics I’ve ever read that feature vulnerable Hannibal in various seasons or post-canon. This list will be updated intermittently! New additions as of 9/13/2024

The Ache Against The Wind: Will awakes in an alternate dimension. Inexplicably un-injured. Both his cheek and shoulder are still blessedly intact because the monumental bloodshed at the cliff house has yet to occur. He’s entirely unprepared for the aftermath that unfolds following the removal of Hannibal’s toilet.

Pareidolia: Six weeks post-fall, Hannibal suffers from a seizure during dinner.

Je Te Laisserai Des Mots: Six months have passed since Will pulled them over the cliff. Even in light of their progressing relationship, much of Hannibal still remains a mystery to Will. For reasons unknown, he’s begun to pull away.

Between The Hour Of Reprieve:

At the cliff house, Hannibal receives a much-needed-hug. (features crying, touch-starved Hannibal).

Shrike (To Your Sharp And Glorious Thorn): Hannibal feels anxious about the prospect of Will abandoning him one day because he isn’t at all capable of being like Molly. His anxiety only heightens when Will gets a job. (features crying housewife Hannibal speaking Lithuanian).

A Cabin In The Woods by KoolJack1: Hannibal is thirteen and runs away from the orphanage when he feels that a fate of the elements will be better than the fate of abuse. He finds a small cabin in the woods, thinking warmth will be all he finds. He also finds Will. But who changes who?

Recipricol Alchemy by Scifibabe: In the silent echoes of his dreams, Will Graham treads a line blurred between control and chaos, each step drawing him inexorably towards claiming Hannibal as his own. It's a perilous dance on the edge of darkness, where the thrill of possession whispers of a transformation too profound to resist.

Hold Me, Don’t Let Me Go by sourweather: It's a few months after the Fall when it finally hits him. Hannibal has barely been touched in 3 years. And Will won't let it go on for another moment.

Hosanna In The Highest by sainthannibal: During the fall, Hannibal receives the brunt of the injuries, which leaves him unable to care for himself. Will discovers how much he enjoys taking care of him.

You Made Me Soup by itsybitsylemonsqueezy: Hannibal comes down with pneumonia while incarcerated. Will decides to make him some soup. Absolutely no one thinks it's strange that Will comes to give his ex soup when he finds out he's sick. No one at all finds this suspicious. At. All.

The Boy Under The Monster’s Bed by Wr4tttttthh: There were deep wounds that needed healing, new and old, physical and otherwise. (features crying, vulnerable Hannibal).

Delicate Ghost by hannigramcracker & TimmyJayBird: She was different- not the ghost of his memories, but something about this bloodied child ripped right at Hannibal's chest, and left him drowning in a cold snow he thought he had left in his childhood, that he had locked away within his skull. Drowning, with only one hand to grasp at, one body to cling to. One man to work him through the trauma and remind him what life was.

You With Those Nails, Me With This Cross by TheBitterKitten:

Will goes too far.

The Distance Is Quite Simply Much Too Far For Me To Row by softhan: Hannibal is having a rough time recovering from his injuries post-fall, and retreats into himself to avoid confrontation with Will while he's still weak and ill. Having to play happy husbands hardly helps

I think the reason I love fanfics about Hannibal having a terrible time is because in the show Will is The Guy Having A Terrible Time. My boy needs some rest and also a villain era. Hannibal needs to be kicked in the face and I think Will has absolutely earned the right to do it. Even better is the fact that Hannibal is super horny about it.