Countthefighters - Chris

Kim Addonizio, “The Singing”, Tell Me

I am so jealous of those who have hope. I am so envious of those who continue to search for light when everything around them is enveloped in darkness. I wish I could see something in me that would make me believe in a future for myself. When I think about the future, it is nothingness. A void, an old, empty blackboard with no chalk to write anything new. I can’t see past falling asleep with the metallic scent of blood lingering, I can’t see past going to bed with sore eyes, I can’t see past waking up with nothing but heavy shoulders, and I can’t see past spending every waking moment aching. I am so scared this all leads to nothing. I am so scared that I will be nothing.

I feel like I am wasting every second of my life, I feel like I have dissected myself into nothing but a disordered mess, acutely aware of my flaws and bad habits, with nothing to rectify my sins. I feel like I’m just wearing down everyone and everything around me. My violence is slowly creeping its way to center stage, and everyone sees it. People see how destructive I am. I feel like I break everything I touch, a perverted Midas.

And this is all very selfish of me, I am sorry for this. Spilling over, asking for more. I always want more and more and more. I want too much, and that is my tragedy.

The question is, I suppose, are you ready to accept it if it doesn’t come from where you want it to?

I think sometimes we become blind to the love we so desperately crave when it doesn’t come from the place we want it to.

The love was there, and is there, you just have to look beyond your desired horizon.

Currently bashing my head into the wall

Hi guys

Happy posting on the Blr?!!??!?

you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try

Megan Nolan, from her novel titled "Acts of Desperation," originally published in March 2021

who up about to ruin they own night