My Birthday Makes Me Quite Sad And I Wish It Didn’t Cuz I’m Lowkey Crashing My Own Party

I transitioned from a girl whose lips couldn't move fast enough. to a boy who the dance floor didn't love

When the video is real as hell but I’m scared of other people seeing my reposts so I stare at my screen while the repost button calls to me like the green goblin mask

all you need to do to understand me on a base level is read the lyrics to alameda by elliott smith

If you’re feeling dysphoric try yelling at the women in your life

Grief is such a peculiar phenomenon. It truly alters every single aspect of your life. I don’t think there’s any part of my life that was left untouched by my grief.

I truly lost touch with reality after my parents passed. And I believed for a long time that my parents were gone, dragged back into the earth with words left unspoken, and nightmares put to rest; but as time has escaped me, I have been disproven. My parents may be ash now, but I see them everyday in myself. It’s horrifying, and sometimes beautiful. All of my life I’ve been told I act and look just like my father, and while that remains true, my mother’s venom has snuck its way into my behavior. I constantly feel like I’m fulfilling their doomed prophecies for myself now that they’re gone.

But I know that it doesn’t have to be that way. I know I can change and I need to allow myself to sit with this, instead of running and running and running. I am so tired, and I need to stop giving up on myself. I may lick my wounds like my dad, and I may carry my mother’s temper, but I don’t have to *be* them. I can be better. I hope I will be better.

Home of the freak

Land of the gay

If the function got dab pen, Björk, and personality quizzes I’ll be there

“All this talk of getting old, it’s getting me down, my love”

UNWRITE THAT NOW!!

Tweaking I am convinced my friends are upset with me and not telling me

Recently I’ve been feeling so off, and it’s really starting to weigh on me. I know a lot, if not most, of my symptoms are caused by my own bad habits, but I just can’t stop giving into the facade of safety in familiar distractions.

The part that’s affecting me the most is the fact I have just not been able to feel anything for like. Days now. And I am usually a lot more neurotic, but I have just not been able to feel much of anything at all lately, and I’m not gonna lie it’s kind of scary. And the worst result of this apathy, is the fact that I seem to have nothing to say lately. I just feel so much less lively than usual. It’s harder to start and continue conversations with my friends, when I love talking to them more than anyone else, and I feel so because of it. I think I’m able to conceal it relatively well, at least I hope so, but I don’t know. This post also kind of negates the whole secret thing.

This is kind of stupid, I just didn’t have much to say when talking to some friends earlier and it made me sad. I feel so numb Aughh Aughh