Inaccurate Batfam Quotes #24

the coolest thing about bart is the irony in his personality bc he’s called impulse due to the whole single synapse theory with translating thought to immediate action and on the surface that paints him as being pretty impulsive but he’s actually a very simple, smart, and subtle person. he’s not super outgoing so much as he is bored by the world that surrounds him, so after some outbursts he loses himself in thought often and that gives way to this side of him that does think and ponder and reflect, which i feel like is rly comforting for neurodivergent readers who are treated as if their behavioral patterns are otherwise abnormal or inconclusive. it’s so nice to have a character who isn’t ostracized by the narrative for his thought process and who we get to see be insightful and endearing in his own, unique way. i love him so so much

Welcome to the ever growing cult, new fledgling 💞

JAYBART PLEASE THATS SO GOD TIER...

@crashcitycentral another convert to the light-

Overlord is watching. Lilith must not be bad. He always knows when’s the Lilith is bad...

inaccurate Batfam quotes #12

Damian: Give it back, Todd!

Jason, holding a batarang over his head: What are you gonna do? Stab me?

Damian: Pulls out throwing knife yes.

Jason: wait, what?

Damian: stabs him

Jason: You little B*tch!

Bruce: appears Hey, no swearing.

Jason: Demon just stabbed me!

Bruce: Damian, what did I tell you about stabbing your brothers?

Damian: sighs don't stab your brothers...

DC groupchats as my favourite Homestuck quotes #2

Thad: Ever hear of Guy Fieri?

Bart: No? I don't think so.

Thad: How unfortunate for you.

Thad: He was an especially degenerate piece of filth.

Thad: He used his connections and guile to wriggle his way into fame, and other positions of power.

Thad: He somehow landed on the U.S. supreme court. Over the years, other Justices started mysteriously disappearing without means to replace them.

Thad: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Captain of Interstellar War.

Thad: I'm going to cut to the chase, cause really this doesn't need to be a full History lesson. Especially with your attention span.

Thad: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final antichrist.

Thad: No human in history was responsible for as much pain and suffering.

Bart: Is that why REACH attacked our planet? Guy Fieri, High Captain of Interstellar War?

Thad: Yes.

Bart: ;-;

___________________________________________________________

-Kaldur joined the chat-

-Batman joined the chat-

Wally: Mom?

Dick: Mom?

Kaldur: Wait, If you're mom

Kaldur: and IM mom

Kaldur: Then who's flying this plane??

Wally: I change my mind, I want a new mom.

___________________________________________________________

Jay: Hello Tim

Tim: Hey Jay

Tim: How's the best brother in the world doing today?

Jay: Best brother in the world, hmm?

Tim: Of course, who else could I mean?

Jay: What is it you want from me?

Tim: You know what I want, Jay

Jay: Money? Affection? For me to write your essays?

Tim: its all I've ever wanted from you

Tim: *he leans in close to him and gently strokes his face*

Tim: *whispers* I want my fucking coffee back.

This man, Brucie Bats, is literally holding an arm out to keep the cape around Bart’s body, like a brooding bird to their babies. Tell me Bart isn’t unofficially part of the Batfam, do it. You won’t. He is cape shielding this lil boi and telling him he did good work in his own weird way.

Ofc Bart couldn’t give a fuck about the Flash’s (Max Supremacy), he works solo and literally just showed up outta nowhere to prank Robin then got roped into helping Batman on a Joker Hostage case.

Need I say more? #BartintheBatfam

inaccurate Batfam quotes #34

Batfam playing Among Us

Dick: Super Sus, he follows people and disappears at random, every time he's imposter he vent camps. He really likes the vents.

Jason: Kills three or more people every round but somehow no one sees him do it. Kill sprees are his favorite.

Tim: Suspicous of everything and everyone, even if he's the imposter. always has crazy assumptions that somehow are right. Only likes to do tasks if he's alone in a room. Has a kill spree rivalry with Jason. (plays with Kon, Bart and Cass most of the time tho)

Damian: Has somehow perfected winning the game by strategising his kills. Always does his evil laugh and is super pouty when Imposters target him first. Has the best behind the scene commentary, along with Babs.

Babs: Always cracking jokes and says "oop" a lot. Somehow is always the one to find the body. Lord have mercy when she's the imposter.

Steph: Very hesitant to kill when she's imposter. Unless she's mad at someone. Then she's ruthless. most likely to kill someone in front of other people on accident.

Cass: Never talks durring discussions. No one ever suspects her. She gets imposter 80% of the time. And she's scarily good at it. Her and Dami have a competition to kills in every game. Dami started it, she doesn't even try to play his game. She's just that good.

Bruce: No idea how the Hell to play. Forgets to mute himself when he's saying stuff like "Oh I'm imposter". Tasks? What tasks? He just follows whoever he thinks he can trust. Most of the time he picks the right person to tail cause they never kill him. Jason targets him first every time.

HE

what

Bart: We can't go in there. It says "18+" and there's only two of us, Tim.

Tim: You're so stupid, Bart.

Tim: We'll just invite more people.

Batboys and Bart: Part- Grayson

Okay so now is time for the long rant of Dick and Bart's dynamic. I'd like to state rn before anyone @/s me, I don't ship these two romantically, if anything it's more brotherly companionship than anything.

To start off, Bart would definatly be broken up about Wally's death just as much as Dickie would, and in a weird sense they'd have sort of an understanding. After Wally disapears, Artemis goes off grid so it's not like he can talk to her. Barry is off-limits for obvious reasons. (honestly some things Barry's said in the comics makes me feel like he blames Bart for Wally) More often than not, Bart would go to Bludhaven to talk to Dick and find comfort. Dick was, after all, Wally's best friend. And Bart would give him the same comfort.

Dick had already known Bart, he's seen him hang around the mannor, following behind Tim like a puppy with it's tail wagging. For a long time, he'd thought the two were dating with how close they were. Dick, being the awkard brother that's trying his best to get closer to his siblings would try and get to know his friends better and Bart really enjoyed his company whenever Dick stuck around.

Before Wally's death, Bart would always do anything and everything to make him jealous, upset, or a combination of the two. So every time Dick and Wally were in the same room with him, Bart would use his pick up lines on Dick just to piss Wally off and it worked every time. Dick, of course, knew what was happening because Bart had given him a rushed explination before he started doing that and he found it hilarious how Wally's face matched his hair as he dragged Bart away with the younger speedster yelling out "CALL ME". Tim pinched the bridge of his nose when he learned of this and Jason finds it hilarious as well. Damian, not so much.

Bart would definatly give Dick all the hugs, and Dick- being the touch starved boy he was with brothers who aren't too touchy and neither was Wally- always allowed it. He never really did anything in company but whenever they're having silent time just hanging out Bart would lean up against his shoulder or lean back to back with him. Speedsters are also actual furnaces so it's nice in the winter time. Dick would return the affections by a random hair ruffle in public or a touch to the shoulder to show he was there.

Just Batboys and Bart things