Batfam Headcanon #ilostcount

Bart needs one of these shirts. Right sprocking now.

steph made the shirts for them <3

cass - batgirl (2000) #25 and 72, with a bonus near-death experience in #62

damian - batman inc. (2012) #8, robin: son of batman #5 and #13, teen titans (2016) #40/41, and robin (2021) #1

Tired of people saying he's a sweetheart, Bartholemew Henry Allen the 2nd is a dickhead in his soul and THATS why we love him

I laughed so hard drawing this no way the quality is any decent

inaccurate Batfam quotes #9

(On a mission, the skylight window of Badguys™ hideout)

Dick: Okay, Redhood take the west wing. Red Rob--

Damian: Jumps into room with heavily armed men

Dick: ROBIN! YOU CAN'T JUST-- WHERE IS YOUR WEAPON?

Damian: I AM THE WEAPON!

Tim, to Damian: I swear if we survive, I'm going to kill you.

Jason: I knew I liked this kid.

Dick: Why am I always put on babysitting combat trained vigilante children.

OMZ I miss Greta so much please give me my girl back

Secret: Wow, Bart! I can’t believe you still look as young as the first day we met! What’s your secret?

Impulse: Actually, I’m a ripple user. Every time I tap into the Speed Force, it charges my body with ripples!

Secret: What?! Really?!

Impulse: (chuckles) Mm-hm.

Secret: (playfully) Mua-hahahaha! In that case, I’m actually a vampire with astral projection powers!

Impulse: (playing along) NANIIIIIIII?!??!?! Is that true, Greta?! Then I’ll have to defeat you with my ripples!

Secret: (turns intangible) WRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Impulse: (speed punching) ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA-!

Secret: MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA-!

Wonder Girl: (just walked in) … the fuck?

no thoughts, just bart allen.

Jason and Bart tropes #3

Jason doesn't like metas or people with abnormal capabilities too much because they rely on their powers, but Bart doesn't.

Bart grew up in virtual reality, being constantly experimented on and watched by scientist assholes without his knowledge. He also grew up in the Apocalypse, or what was considered one. So he knew what it was like to be completely powerless and live normal, or as normal as you can get in a back-water, end of the world, totalitarianism planet. Even when he was rescued by his mom and Iris plus sent back in time to keep him safe, he was trained by all of LAPD and Tim Drake in combat, on the chance that he lost his speed again. It came in handy later on when he did lose his speed in the battle against the Rouges and his clone, Thad. And then his mentor Max Mercury taught him to slow things down and live in the present, that not everything is about speed and how fast you can do something, but how well you do it. So as you can assume, Bart is always alert. Probably why he's so jumpy. He never knows what to expect and thus he expects everything, cause with his powers he's able to predict every possible outcome in a situation. He also uses it to his advantage and He's memorized the complete human nervous system (talk about Crash).

That's probably why Jason likes him so much; even with his powers, Bart expects to be jumped any moment. (Likes in headcanon, of course, but c'mon you can't tell me he wouldn't)

inaccurate Batfam quotes #11

Tim: If I ever meet the first person who said "I'll sleep when I'm dead" I'm going to kill them.

Dick: Relax, Tim. Just drink your coffee.

Tim: This isn't even coffee. It's a 12 pack of Five hour energy mixed with cocoa powder...

Jason: An entire pack of 12 hour energy?

Tim: Does anyone else see the talking squirril?

Dick: uhhh, Tim? Squirrils don't talk.

Tim: Cool, just checking my sanity.

[Kitchen at Wayne Manor]

Dick: [picking through a candy bowl] Steph sure does date a lot doesn't she?

Cass: [with prejudice] glass houses

Dick: I didn't mean it was something bad!

Tim: She doesn't date a lot, she breaks up a lot.

Dick: Isn't that the same thing?

Cass: [unwrapping a chocolate bar] No

Tim: She has standards

Jason: [sorting m&ms] She dated YOU

Tim: She also broke up with me

Jason: ...did you just insult yourself to defend your ex?

Tim: [stares Jason down while slowly eating a piece of fudge]

Dick: [coughs awkwardly] so anyway. Isn't her dating so much a sign that her standards are TOO high?

Tim: [looks at Cass] Reasons Steph has dumped guys

Cass: [raises a finger] doesn't like cats

Damian: [from the other room] WHAT?!

Tim: [also starts counting on his fingers] refused to learn how to do laundry

Cass: Had his mother clean for him

Tim: Told her to calm down

Cass: Wanted to become a stock broker

Tim: asked if she was on her period

Cass: mocked people for wearing crocs

Tim: said he'd never read a book with a "female protagonist"

Cass: Said she was too emotional

Tim: was way too into sports

Cass: Said women with short hair was unattractive

Tim: kept using 'literally' when he meant 'figuratively'

Cass: told her she was putting on weight

Tim: didn't like Cass

Cass: didn't like Tim

Tim: mansplaining

Cass: kept talking about the wine list

Tim: kept talking about his car

Cass: [running out of fingers] thought "me too" had gone to far

Tim: [also with all his fingers outstretched] told her she "wasn't like other girls"

Dick and Jason:

Dick: I feel like some of those were more valid than others

Jason: [to Tim] so which one of those was the reason she broke up with you?

Tim: I didn't like Tim.

Bitch, he Flightwing

The Flying Grayson

-Superman: Son of Kal-El [2021] #9

Any good dad bruce hcs?

everything I’ve ever written is good dad bruce and I don’t believe in anything else and I will die on the hill of good dad Bruce

bruce has skipped multiple justice league meetings because his kids asked him to stay home

he carries like jolly ranchers and starburst and candy like that in his utility belt because when dick was a kid be used to beg bruce to get him ice cream on every patrol and this was the best way bruce could find to get him to stop asking

When Jason was Robin, they made it a habit of going to every home game the Gotham Knights had whether it was Bruce and Jason eating hot dogs in the stands at the baseball stadium or Batman and Robin watching the field, hidden somewhere where they’ve got a perfect view

I think because of my dad I just associate dads with Star Trek now but like... Bruce watches Star Trek with his kids. Tim’s the only one who watched more than just the original series with him

Bruce had an exact replica made of his mother’s iconic pearl necklace (you know the one) and gave it to Cass for her birthday one year and she absolutely treasures it

Damian isn’t the most extroverted person and neither is Bruce so most of their interactions are just sitting in the room together (this also goes for Tim and Cass with these two) but a lot of times when Bruce is working from home Damian will sit in his office and draw and every so often if Bruce is on a zoom call for work he tends to mute his mic so he can just chat with Damian about whatever he’s drawing and all that

Also: Bruce and Damian tend to walk Ace and Titus together every morning. Sometimes Jason comes too to walk Ace instead of Bruce, but Bruce is always there