Saw Someone Say "an 11-year-old Isn't Even Supposed To Know What Sex Is And If You Do Something Horrible

others: “so, how ~southern~ are you?”

me: “The entrance of my hometown has a shrimp boat sitting in the main street. At Christmas theres a shrimper Santa and alligators pulling him instead of reindeer.”

others: “what?!”

me:

Because someone is on the ball, Turner Classic is playing (among other WWII films) The Great Dictator today.

If you haven't seen it, please do. It was produced by Charlie Chaplin in the late 1930s, when it became clear that the war was going to happen, and came out in 1940 after it had started. Essentially, Chaplin realized that his famous mustache was about to be usurped forever by a fascist, and that fascist was going to kill a lot more people in the future than he had already.

It's a parody, made before the worst horrors of the Nazi regime were known to the general public, so there is discomfort here (if you've seen Disney's Der Fuhrer's Face, you'll get the idea), but the movie ends with Chaplin essentially saying "fuck it, no one else seems to be speaking out about this and I'm going to use my platform to do that."

For context, this character is a Jew who has been mistaken for the dictator (for obvious mustache-related reasons), and has been sent onstage at a rally to give a speech. Instead of trying to impersonate Hitler, he says what he really thinks. And keep in mind, Chaplin was coming out of semi-retirement for this. It was the first time most people had ever heard him speak, and this is what he said:

Someone is going to get something out of it. And it isn't going to be you.

The fact that this is 80 fucking years ago but still just as relevant is terrifying.

so don’t get me wrong because a lot of arthurian stuff is super misogynistic. but it’s never really in the damsel in distress way you expect. like the most helpless damsel is lancelot trapped and crying in a tower, completely useless, until this random girl who made him behead a guy in front of her fifty pages ago rolls up with a pickax and rope and is like “ok I’m minecrafting you out of here.” and this works.

Being good to each other is so important, guys.

This just got posted to a Discord I'm on & my first thought was, "ah yes, for @elodieunderglass."

Hey you know what sucks is predatory companies that make you enter your email address so that they can harass and advertise to you to access resources you might need to keep track of expenses after a disaster. So, uh, fuck them.

If you need to track the cost of things like hotel stays, pet kenneling, medical care, etc. after a disaster you can use this worksheet.

If you need to create an inventory of your home for an insurance claim (and if you'd like to do this to keep someplace safe before a disaster) you can use this worksheet (two pages, instructions on the first page, worksheet on the second).

And here's a FEMA document with numbers for disaster relief groups and a checklist of documents that you may need to have replaced as well as a description of what to do if you had cash in your home that was destroyed and can possibly be replaced.

Do you have any suggestions for something easy-challenging to bake? Like something that's sure to turn out if I follow all the steps, but that's more complex than "stir all the ingredients together and pour into the pan."

I have access to a food processor, a 40 y/o sunbeam stand mixer (no bread hooks), your basic baking dishes, no spring form pan, a maybe 10" cast iron skillet, and a 4qt Dutch oven with a [confusingly, glass] lid that's heat safe up to 400°F.

Leave all that with me for a bit, OK? This week has been logistically challenging for one reason or another (yeah, this situation's part of that...) and the normal workflow has been suffering.

Meanwhile, though, I have to mention this (even though you don't have a springform pan), as I don't think I've ever baked so good a cake that was this simple to put together. In fact it's almost exactly the inverse of what you're asking for, but it is really REALLY good. ... I'd be entirely tempted to try baking it in a paper-lined loaf pan with a paper sling: or else in two lined cake pans with a slightly shorter baking time. (Or, you know what? The dutch oven. Line it with paper and butter everything in sight.)

Anyway, this cake—

Nigella.com

Chocolate Guinness Cake

This cake is magnificent in its damp blackness. I can't say that you can absolutely taste the stout in it, but there is certainly a resonant

I was frankly stunned by how simple it was to throw it together. (I mixed the damn thing in a saucepan.) ...Obviously the issue of substitutions comes up for those who don't have access to Guinness, or don't want to use it. In this cake's case I would seriously consider simply swapping in an equal volume of black coffee. The final result is exquisitely choco-squidgy, and I don't imagine that added mocha overtones would be a problem.

(sighing) Something to try next week, when—please gods—things around here have calmed down a little. Meanwhile, I've got your query nailed up here safe where I know where to find it. Leave the question with me and I'll get back to you. 🙂

(...seriously, though, look at this thing! This is without any question the darkest chocolate cake I've ever baked. I'm not sure the photo does it justice.)