Has Been So Hard To Find The Time Lately, But I COULD NOT Ignore My Man's Birthday. So This Is Short

Food for Thought - Chapter 1: Blini with caviar and crème fraiche

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Summary: You often wonder why you feel so alone even when you spend time with other people. An outsider even in a packed room. But a chance work project with Urahara Kisuke provides a strange comfort... so strange that you continue to spend time with him after your project is over.

Content warning: Reader is written with self-esteem issues/insecure thoughts, food is a large part of this story. Kisuke will become a yandere in this, he is also promiscuous. This chapter has no smut, but it will become very NSFW soon.

Read on AO3 here.

Chapter 1: Blini with caviar and crème fraiche

“You’re still up for karaoke tonight, right?” Your co-worker Hanatarou asked, as he peered over your cubicle.

You smiled brightly at him, eyes filled with mirth, “of course! I don’t back down from a challenge, especially one from Madarame” you snickered. Hanatarou laughed as he thanked you again for agreeing to come with him to a singing showdown. You knew Hanatarou since you started working at the Senjumaru & Hikifune Diagnostics Company. While you and Hanatarou were new in your roles, you sensed that there was an ongoing rivalry between your department and Madarame Ikkaku’s - the marketing team.

But before you could figure out your song list for the night, your manager, Sarugaki Hiyori shouted for you, “Oi! C’mere quick. I got a new project for you, newbie.”

It had been over two years since you started your job here, but you couldn’t help but laugh at Sarugaki still calling you “newbie”, but the casual behaviour you two shared was something you appreciated in your role.

“I got a new project for you.” Hiyori explained, walking you towards the meeting room. “The higher ups were impressed with how you dealt with the immune checkpoint inhibitors assessment.”

“Thank you, but it was a team effort after all.” You explained, which was true to a degree, but you were the lead analyst on the project.

“Don’t be so modest,” Hiyori scoffed, “anyways they want you to do a review on the prefecture’s medical imaging inventory.”

“I see, but that’s not my area of expertise, wouldn’t Akon or Nemu be better fits?” You asked, knowing that their team, led by Kurotsuchi Mayuri, were the health technology team.

“In all other cases, yes, but they turned down this project.” Hiyori huffed, entering the empty meeting room. “They said some bullshit about other projects of theirs being of higher priority.”

Well, that’s fair you thought, but Hiyori’s face looked like she didn’t buy it. “From the look on your face, you don’t think it’s true.” You laughed as she clenched her notebook.

“It’s because they don’t want to work with the consultant tied to the project.” Hiyori explained, her scowl growing deeper. “Not like I want him to work with you either.”

“I’ve worked with frustrating consultants in the past, Sarugaki-san.”

“I know, I know” Hiyori sighed, looking dejectedly at the window. “This guy’s annoying, and frankly, just plain weird.” She admitted. “I worked with him for a short while, he wasn’t completely a bad guy then. He just gets on my nerves.” She explained, honestly.

“Well, if you were able to tolerate him, then it should be fine.” You said, wondering what type of person would not only upset Hiyori (who was already quick to anger) and Kurotsuchi-san (who was already easy to annoy). You figured this person must have been normal to some degree, since the two people who have worked with him were a bit odd in their own ways.

Your manager explained in more detail the work you’d be doing and the finer technical details of the expectations senior management had for you. “The consultant is an expert in this field, which is why he’ll be assisting you on this. Apparently, he used to work for the national health board way back when.” Hiyori explained, as you diligently took notes.

“Anyways, that’s about it. I sent him a meeting invite to this board room in 5 minutes. I’ll email you everything we shared for your records. I gotta bounce, but send me a message if anything comes up.” Hiyori waved you goodbye as you sat alone in the room.

You checked your phone, scrolling through your calendar for the week. You were relatively social at work, with colleagues sending you invites to things to see, do and eat. You didn’t see the harm in participating, and you weren’t much for drinking to begin with, so you made sure your colleagues got home safe. Either way, you were appreciative of them inviting you out.

Five minutes turned to ten, and still no show of this infamous consultant.

You continued scrolling through your phone, going through your social media accounts. Acquaintances from school and previous jobs, were sharing engagements, wedding photos and many other milestones. You couldn’t help but smile sadly, with cold, belittling words ringing through your head.

This stuff isn’t meant for me anyways. You thought, as you continued to scroll through your feed.

It wasn’t until you saw the time, that almost half an hour had passed. You began to type a message to Hiyori about the no-show consultant, until he barged through the door.

Pale, disheveled blonde hair, and what you assume a white button down and a poorly tied dark green tie around his neck under a brown sweater, paired with dark grey slacks.

He immediately grabbed your hand and gave you an intense handshake. The suddenness threw you off and confusion was evident across your face.

“Ah, sorry about that! I’m Urahara Kisuke the technology consultant, and I suppose you’re the analyst I’m working with?” Urahara-san asked.

You nodded your head, while you flexed your poor hand that was caught off guard by his tight handshake. You introduced yourself and offered him a seat next to you. The two of you went over the technical details and scheduled to meet again tomorrow before your lunch break. Your phone began to buzz as your coworkers and friends began to barrage you with texts.

“My my, you really are popular.” Urahara teased, as he stared at your phone with curious eyes.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed from his comment, “no, not really” you explained, “I agreed to karaoke tonight, that’s all!”

Urahara gave you a soft smile, “that must be nice. Karaoke sounds wonderful. Have a great time.” You thanked him for his time today and rushed off to your coworkers.

He wasn’t so bad. You thought, as your coworkers waved at you near the elevators. You told them to wait for you in the lobby as you grabbed your belongings, unaware that Urahara was watching you from the hallway.

The karaoke bar was lively. Drinks were ordered, snacks were shared and laughter erupting from your private booth. You smiled at your friends who sung along badly to old pop hits, and laughed as they sang dramatic renditions of tearful ballads. You sang along, clapping with them, until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder.

“I heard you met Urahara Kisuke today.” Rukia quietly whispered.

You stopped clapping and turned to face her as the rest of the room kept singing along.

“Oh yes I did Kuchiki-san! He was quite polite and knowledgeable. He really knows his stuff.”

Rukia gave you a puzzled expression, “really? I heard he’s kind of shady.”

“It’s funny you say that, my manager said that as well, and she mentioned Kurotsuchi-san saying something similar.” Rukia’s face turned to one of concern, “but I’m going to be meeting with him for the rest of the month, so I’ll tell you if anything interesting comes up.” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“Ok, but just be careful. I heard from Rangiku at Payroll that they weren’t able to fire him because he has deep connections to some of the executives.”

That surprised you. The company itself was old, nearing 50 years (or so they say). You didn’t know much about Urahara Kisuke as his field of work was different from yours. You made a mental note to look into him later tonight. “What was it that made them consider firing him?” You were curious to know why everyone you’ve spoken to about him, had such poor opinions of the man.

“I’m not sure, I heard he was doing insider trading?”

“Really!?” You exclaimed, “wouldn’t the cops be involved then?” Pointing out the discrepancy within the rumour.

“Oh… yeah..” Rukia was stumped, “I’ll ask Rangiku next time I see her then. Maybe she doesn’t know either.”

“Or maybe it’s just a baseless rumour?”

Rukia gave you a look of uncertainty, “just be careful around him, ok? Rumours start from somewhere you know…”

You laughed her comment off and treated her to favourite snack. You were left with an uncomfortable feeling the rest of the night and excused yourself to leave early.

At home, you looked into Urahara Kisuke. Several of his papers came up, all of them focused on some aspect of biomedical engineering. You saw a Kurotsuchi-san’s name come up frequently as a collaborating author, and another person, “Aizen Sosuke” come up. You ran a quick search on him and saw he was working as a professor in the top university in the country. Nothing else came up in your search though, which left you more questions than answers.

You always tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and Urahara-san was no different, maybe it’s just a baseless rumour after all. Whatever the case may be, work was work, and you resigned yourself to be professional and complete the project to the best of your abilities.

You had meal prepped your lunch for tomorrow then prepared for bed. You still couldn’t shake off everyone’s comments today, so you hoped sleep would wash the thoughts away.

It had been several weeks now of meeting with Urahara-san. Your time with him made you doubt the comments made by your colleagues and friends when you first started the project. Now it was nearing the end of it, and if anything, if someone were to ask you to describe “Urahara Kisuke”, you would say he was a “curious, yet brilliant man who tries to be funny.” You laughed at yourself when you remembered the terrible “jokes” Urahara-san made, but he was certainly an interesting person.

Today was your last meeting with him though, and a small part of you was sad. You liked spending time with him. You watched him skim your report on the laptop screen with an intense focus, typing in tracked changes sparsely in between.

“I’m impressed!” Urahara said to you, “you really nailed this review. I know the execs will love it.”

You smiled at his compliment, “I’m flattered, Urahara-san, but it’s your vast knowledge that really helped me. I wouldn’t have even known to look in the formulary database and disability policies!” You said, shaking your head.

“They really are right about you.” Urahara remarked in a serious tone.

You looked at him with curiosity.

Urahara chuckled and in a teasing tone, “that you’re incredibly studious and hardworking! I barely did anything.”

“Well I have to say people are wrong about you.” You beamed at him, “people were telling me all sorts of rumours about you, and to be cautious.”

Urahara raised his eyebrows, but let you continue on.

“But you’re actually quite friendly and diligent.” You give an awkward laugh, “and I’ll miss working with you.”

Urahara looked surprised. He had never heard that before. Most people found him, in some ways, too difficult to work with. His unorthodox approach to analyzing and finding results, and dubious ethics, made finding people to work with slim to none. Yet here you are.

They really are right about you. He thought to himself. It bothered him, to some degree. Initially he wondered what angle you would be playing at while working with him. Would you fish him for gossip? Would you be a bother and ask about his past research? An annoyance who wanted access to his connections, his work?

No, none of that came up. You approached him with sincerity and kindness, something he wasn’t dealt with in his years of working as a researcher.

“Urahara-san, if you have some time,” you ask, your face growing warm, “would you care to join me for lunch?” To say he was startled was an understatement, but he accepted.

“Is that all you’re going to eat, Urahara-san?” You ask, noticing his canned coffee and prepackaged rice ball.

“Oh this,” Urahara laughed, “I had a hearty breakfast, so I wanted a light lunch.” He lied to you, while wearing a large grin on his face.

“If you want, you can have some of my food.” You offered to him. “I don’t think that’ll last you through the afternoon.” You gave him a sheepish smile.

Urahara’s eyes widened, but he chuckled, waving you off. But you were full of surprises, you pushed forward your lunch to him, “why don’t you have some of mine?” Your face grew hot as you began to ramble, “I know I may not look it, but I’m a pretty decent cook.”

He was hesitant, but the earnest tone in your voice, and the way you avoided his eyes told him enough. He picked up the utensil and took some food for himself.

Urahara’s eyes widened but quickly shifted. “My, you certainly know your way around the kitchen!” He joked, a slight smile on his face as he noticed the way your eyes avoided him, but the pleased smile on your face.

It felt unusual to him, to enjoy someone’s company like this, it put him on guard. He would listen to you talk, watch your reactions, and try to rationalize what you wanted out of him. But before he could make a definitive conclusion, your lunch break was over.

“Thank you for spending your lunch break with me, Urahara-san.” You said softly, “if you’re free the rest of the week, I’d like to do this again.”

His mind raced, maybe you were interested in something more personal from him, his under-the-table work, maybe you were sent by Kurotsuchi or the higher ups to investigate him.

But a small part of his brain knew that wasn’t right, he’d have to get to the bottom of this. “Yes, I’d love that.” He gave you a smile.

Two weeks had gone by where, for the most part, you and Urahara had lunch together at work. You were dismayed by his lack of lunches some days. He would say he was too busy to prepare something, or having a larger breakfast made his appetite quite small. But you had your suspicions.

“Urahara-san, what’s your favourite meal to cook?”

Urahara made an exaggerated sigh and cupped his chin, “why lately, it’s been what you’ve shared with me at lunch.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m serious! I’d love to know what you make. I want to try new recipes.” You gave him a sincere smile.

It’s what bothered Urahara about you, you were too sincere, too earnest with someone like him. He suspected you didn’t know the actual rumours surrounding him, and a part of him hopes you never do. His heart, much to his dismay, would flutter seeing you smile, seeing your eyes light up. He would watch, as he wandered around the company’s different units, how you interacted with other coworkers and colleagues. You were polite and friendly. So… disarming.

Urahara let out a sigh, it would be so easy to let you go if you were only spending time with him for nefarious reasons. He wouldn’t have had any qualms about leaving you high and dry. But even on the weekends, he would send you a short text, something about how your weekend was going.

A small part of him was growing jealous at how you would hang out with some of your coworkers after work. Your social circle seemed so large compared to him… but he wanted to be at the centre.

“I don’t have one. I can’t say I’ve cooked much for myself.” Urahara murmured, scratching his head.

You looked at him with shocked eyes, “no way! Not even scrambled eggs?”

Urahara let out a laugh, “ok, maybe one.” He looked at your now empty bento that he had nibbled on, “if you have the time…”

You looked at him with such an eager expression, the knot in his stomach tightened, as he tried to ignore the thudding of his heart. He wouldn’t act on feelings; this was a plan to let you slip up what your real reasons were to spend time with him.

“Would you teach me how to cook?”

And as he suspected as much, and denying his own relief from your words, you agreed. “Why don’t you pick a recipe you want to try and you can come over to my house on Sunday?”

“Sure,” Urahara said, his brain already laying down plans to ensnare you, “but won’t your boyfriend mind if I come over?” He asked, with a hesitant look on his face.

“If I did have one, maybe!” You laughed, “You don’t have to worry about that, trust me.” You looked away from him, a sad look on your face. Urahara narrowed his eyes, but before he could ask more, your smile was back, “just let me know what ingredients to buy.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Urahara said, “I’ll bring the ingredients. It’s the least I can do since you’re offering your kitchen.”

“Oh alright! Thank you for going through the trouble.” You smiled, “let me know how much it is and we can split the bill.” Urahara laughed at your comment, you really were so honest.

“No, it’s on me. Especially after feeding me lunch these past few weeks.”

You let an awkward laugh, before avoiding his gaze. “My only request is that,” Urahara lowered his voice, bring his face close to yours, “don’t invite anyone else – I want your undivided attention.”

THANKS FOR READING MY FIRST CHAPTER!!

I've already have drafted over 5 chapters for this story and I have an ending in mind for it too. As a personal goal, I want to complete this, so I hope you join me along for this ride!

stop this is kinda cute lmao

HE LOOKS SO SOFTTTTTT I AM IN TEARS

🥺 The way Shinji relates to Ichigo not being able to save anyone like he wasn't able to in tbtp

Shinji Hirako Headcanons ఌ

warning: smut & fluff, explicit content & language, 18+mdni

Shinji is a freak in the bedroom. He likes to try out every kind of different new things & for real he has no fucking boundaries at all. Even if it’s the filthiest & nastiest thing ever? He would give it a try cause he likes it crazy & filthy.

Shinji is very clingy. He loves it being constantly on your side, annoying you or teasing you. He‘s very affectionate & touchy and loves every kind of physical interaction as long as it’s with you.

Shinji loves to fuck you outside in the nature or wherever you both are in the moment. He‘s a bit of an Exhibitionism fan, loving the thrill of pounding your wet pussy at any place he wants. He would wear his smug grin on his face while he would fuck you against a tree, not caring if a single soul would see ya.

Shinji is funny as hell. Constantly telling jokes or making you laugh with the simplest mundane things in the world. He‘s also really clumsy & trips almost over everything cause he has two left feet. Never takes anything serious of it though, what makes him even more charming.

Shinji prefers to fuck you deep & slowly in missionary. He loves to see your little reactions on how his dick would slam into your pussy, while he watches you every single moment. He loves to keep intense eye contact with you all the time & always wears his signature grin in his face while his cock has no mercy on your cunt.

Shinji has a really pretty cock. An average size of 18 cm, slightly curved upwards and a bit on the thinner side but firm. He knows how to use it on you & is really skilled with it.

Shinji loves to get pegged by you. Yeah you heard right. Use your toys on him, he has no fucking problem at all with it. You could probably eat his ass out he wouldn’t mind. Like i said he‘s a freak in the bed.

Shinji can eat pussy like a god, i tell yall. He takes his sweet time in between your thighs, sucking onto your clit, tongue teasing & fucking your entrance. His tongue alone could make you cum all over him, making you squirt without using his fingers. He would look up from time to time, grinning at you with his mouth covered in his saliva and your release.

Shinji loves receiving sloppy slow blowjobs from you. Getting on your knees for him, while he sits lazily on the couch leaned back. He would watch you all the time, how you take his cock slowly completely full into your mouth. Seeing your spit spilling everywhere along with the load of cum he shot’s afterwards into your mouth.

Shinji can be very vocal if he wants to. Sometimes deep groans or growls but mostly high pitched moans. He would definitely whimper & moan so high pitched especially when you are the one taking control, like riding his cock.

Kenpachissluut writes ఌ

comments & reblogs appreciated 🫶🏻

One of my million WIPs. You can thank @villainsrtasty for this one🤭 I’ve literally read the fic with this line 50 times by now 🥵

I’m crashing out over him i fear :(

Food for Thought - Chapter 2: Smells like Aperol Spritz

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Summary: You often wonder why you feel so alone even when you spend time with other people. An outsider even in a packed room. But a chance work project with Urahara Kisuke provides a strange comfort... so strange that you continue to spend time with him after your project is over.

CW: self-esteem issues, kissing, Urahara being a creep.

Read this chapter on AO3 here.

“My only request is that,” Urahara lowered his voice, bringing his face close to yours, “don’t invite anyone else – I want your undivided attention.”

You gave Urahara a confused look at his remark, “why would I invite other people? My kitchen is so small.”

A brief, yet awkward silence filled the space between you two before Urahara burst into laughter. When was the last time I laughed like this? He wondered to himself as he stopped. “I suppose you have a point.” He gave you a small smile, “so no surprise guests then, Ms. Popular” he teased, followed by a light chuckle.

You smiled fondly at his laugh. You noticed, since spending lunch with Urahara now, that he seemed more relaxed. He always gave a mysterious air around him, almost as if he was assessing everyone he interacted with, even you, but today felt a bit different.

No, I’m just overthinking things. You told yourself. You quickly checked your phone and saw your lunch break was nearing its end. “I’ll have to go now Urahara-san, but hopefully we can chat again tomorrow?” You asked, putting away your lunch.

“Sure,” he replied with a slight grin, “don’t keep me waiting.”

You waved him off as you headed back to your department. Your cheeks felt warm and your heart felt odd.

Sitting in your office chair, you sighed. I have a crush you thought with sadness. Of course you would have a crush on him, he was friendly, funny and intelligent. It didn’t help that he was handsome either. You wanted to reach out to your phone and text him something, anything, to validate your thoughts, until you heard your name.

You looked up to see Rukia there smiling at you, “I missed you at lunch today! Where have you been?” She asked, noticing the shocked and embarrassed look on your face.

“Oh, sorry.” You apologized, “I had lunch with Urahara-san today.”

“You’re not done with that project with him?” She asked, folding her arms. “It’s not like you to delay something like that.”

You shook your head, “oh it’s nothing like that”, you began to fiddle with your fingers, avoiding her gaze, “I appreciate his company so we have lunch together sometimes.”

Rukia clicked her tongue, “ahh, I see. He’s not being weird with you, is he?”

Your eyes widened with surprise, “not at all! He’s quite funny actually.” Rukia narrowed her eyes, but let you continue on, “he’s really insightful. I like talking to him.” You gave her an earnest smile.

Rukia sighed, “alright, but just keep your wits about you, ok?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “sure, mother.” You said sarcastically. Rukia huffed, but you broke into laughter, “I know you’re concerned, but Urahara-san is quite normal.”

“Well I didn’t come here to talk about him,” she admonished, “I wanted to double check if you were still free for lunch tomorrow, you know the one that Ukitake-san is treating us to?”

“Oh right, thank you for reminding me!” You said, completely shocked that something like that slipped your mind.

“And I’m also here to show you something…” Rukia said, before reaching into her pants pocket, “ta dah!” She held out a pristine, limited edition Chappy keychain in the palm of her hand.

“You managed to find one!?” You gasped, “how?!” As you delicately picked it up with your hand, as if it would crumble with even the gentlest of touches.

Rukia grinned, a satisfied smile on her face, “I managed to win it in a blind box. Lady Luck favours the bold, you know.”

“And no one is as bold as you, Rukia” you chuckled. “But it’s cute, congrats!” You smiled at it, giving it a soft squeeze before handing it back to Rukia.

But before you and Rukia could continue with your conversation, your manager Hiyori peeked her head, giving you two a glare. Rukia gave you a polite smile, leaving you with your work… and your phone’s messaging app open on your texts to Urahara.

I’ll just let him know about tomorrow. It’s the least I can do. You thought to yourself as you began to type.

Kisuke mulled around in his laptop, losing interest in the code in front of him. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of you. Spending time with you, as innocuous as lunch was, left him feeling uncomfortable and anxious. It was an uneasy feeling that he didn’t want to dwell on, but at the same time, he also craved your attention.

Maybe tomorrow he would be firmer in his approach with you. He would test himself. Maybe he was drawn to the physicality of your presence rather than mental chemistry building between you.

The line of code stared back at him while his brain ran through iterations of plans. He’ll have lunch with you tomorrow, maybe he would buy a pre-made lunch and lie that he attempted to make it for dinner. He would have you taste it; you would be amazed and proud, and he would lean in for a kiss.

Yes, that’s what he would do. He would test you to see if you would reciprocate. After all, most people wanted him for something, he would figure out what was your deal anyways.

Kisuke slowly began to type his code, until his phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a message from you. His heart quickened, which he just as quickly dismissed. His fingers immediately opened the text you sent, and his heart churned.

You sent an apology about tomorrow’s lunch, something about a director treating your unit. You sent a sad emoji to express your disappointment but then followed it up with “please send me a recipe when you have the time!”

Kisuke leaned into his seat. He was a patient man; he would figure your game out eventually.

Your heart raced as you sent the message off to Urahara. He had read receipts on, so you kept your phone glued to you as you waited for his response.

Why does it matter if he responds or not? I can’t change tomorrow.

But you felt strange, you quickly grabbed your phone and reiterated that the weekend was still on and reminded him to send you a recipe. You saw he read the message, but gave no response. Sighing, you leaned into your seat. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. There’s nothing going on.

Director Ukitake was a kind and generous man. He wanted to keep morale up in the company and occasionally treated units to luncheons. Sometimes they were catered if it was a larger unit, but a smaller division like your own would often be treated to the private section of a restaurant. And today was no exception.

You mingled with your colleagues as you saw in the corner of your eye Rukia talking with Kaien Shiba and Director Ukitake. The three of them seemed closer than you remembered, but you were proud of her. You knew Rukia worked hard to make a name for herself rather than relying on her brother-in-law’s connections. And it seemed that Director Ukitake and Shiba-san recognized her effort too with the way the three of them chatted away about proposals and projects coming.

You, on the other hand, felt slightly removed today. For some reason, you felt like you were miles away from everyone. Your mind wandered to what Urahara-san was doing. I hope he’s having a proper meal. You thought.

It was then your phone chimed, and you saw a reply from him. It was a link to a recipe for chicken and vegetable curry with udon. You couldn’t help but smile at your phone and send a reply, “this will work great! Bring some Tupperware” as you ended the text with a smile emoji.

Again, no response, but you saw the notification that he read your message. You felt a bit sad, but it wasn’t until Hanatarou waved his hand over your phone, that made you aware that you needed to get back to reality.

“Sorry, my brain’s been everywhere but here today.” You smiled sheepishly to Hanatarou.

“It’s alright, I hope it was something good! You seemed a bit sad today.”

You felt guilty for making Hanatarou worry, “no, I’m totally fine. Sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you know?” You laughed it off, trying to show him that you were ok. “Besides, it’s hard to be mad with food this good.”

Hanatarou chuckled, nodding his head in agreement as he watched you bite into your meal.

Maybe it was a good thing, but for the rest of the week, work had been more demanding than normal as of late. Your brain and thoughts were too preoccupied with incoming projects and deliverables, so you didn’t have time to dwell on Urahara-san.

But at the same time, it did hurt a tiny bit that he also didn’t text you either. Yet you tried to remind yourself that there was nothing more from this. He was just an acquaintance, a work friend at best. The two of you got along great, but an hour of conversation, with an occasional 15 minute coffee break, wasn’t really anything special. You kept reminding yourself there was nothing more and nothing less. You were doing him a service by teaching him how to cook… not to get your hopes up.

The debate between your mind and work and your feelings left you feeling exhausted. When the weekend rolled in, all you wanted to do was sleep and relax, completely forgetting that you didn’t tell what time Urahara-san could come by today.

You jolted awake and scrambled for your phone. “It’s been a busy week, but I hope you can still make it!” You texted him, followed by your address. “Let me know how much I owe you for groceries.”

You immediately noticed that he read the message, and just as quickly, he replied with “don’t worry about it.”

Your heart fluttered as you began to clean your home. Should you get drinks? A dessert? Your stomach was in knots at the thought of Urahara-san in your home. You felt jumpy at the slightest of sounds, from the hands ticking away at your clock, to the low humming buzz of your kitchen lights.

I need to relax. There’s nothing to worry or be anxious about. You told yourself repeatedly. You sipped some water when your phone beeped; Urahara had entered your buzzer code.

You felt your heart thump loudly in your ears as you waited for him. You splashed cold water on your face as you tried to relax. You looked over your counter and made sure knives and bowls were ready to prep food, and your stock pot was on the stove ready to be used.

You jolted again at the quick raps at your door. Peeking through the eyehole, you confirmed it was Urahara. You couldn’t help but laugh, was he wearing a bucket hat?

You opened the door and greeted him, surprised by his outfit of choice, a dark green shirt with grey sweats, with a large tote filled with groceries. “Green is a lovely colour on you.” You smiled at him, “I like your hat too!”

“Oh this ol’ thing? Had it for a long time now and it hasn’t let me down yet.” Kisuke chuckled, taking his hat off. “Thanks again for having me.” He smiled at you.

“Of course, it’s my pleasure.” You smiled politely. “Why don’t I take the groceries from you?”

“It’s fine, just lead me the way.” Urahara said as he motioned you forward.

Your kitchen was only a few steps away from your entryway, and as Kisuke placed the groceries on the table, you felt your cheeks warm realizing how large he was in comparison to your small kitchen.

Has he always been this big? You felt flustered, as he washed his hands. You noticed immediately the way his shoulders rolled under his shirt, and the muscles in his arms slightly flexing.

“Why don’t we get started then?” You asked, as you took out the contents of the tote.

“Tell me what to do and we’ll be done in no time.” Kisuke replied, giving you a smirk. You felt your cheeks grow even hotter.

“I think we should cut and marinate the chicken.” You stammered, avoiding his gaze, “everything else will be pretty easy afterwards.” Kisuke nodded. You ushered him to your cutting board as he took out the packaged chicken.

You stood next to him as he began to cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces. You were impressed by his knife skills.

“Are you sure you don’t know how to cook?” You remarked, as you watched him easily debone the chicken leg. “Your knife skills are impeccable.”

Kisuke shrugged his shoulders, “I’ve learned some surgical skills in my line of work.” As he quickly nicked a tendon off a joint, “I guess it’s a type of applied learning?” He tried to joke. But you didn’t laugh. It caught him off guard at how intensely you were watching his hands.

Next you instructed him to peel the potatoes, onions and carrots. The potatoes and carrots were done in relatively no time, but the onions were another story. You weren’t even the one cutting them, yet your eyes watered immediately. But Kisuke was unphased, as he sliced them away.

“What is your secret?” You asked, as you patted your eyes dry.

“My secret? For the onions?” He teased, “aren’t you the teacher? You’re supposed to be giving me tips.” He chuckled, finding it cute when you pouted at him.

“Fine, keep your secrets. I’ll find my own way.” You huffed.

With all the ingredients prepped and ready, you brought Kisuke to the stove and instructed him to turn on the heat to a particular setting. You explained the process and steps needed now, and how quickly it’ll come together. He nodded along, slightly hovering his hand over the pot to feel its heat. Once he thought it was ready, he put the chicken in to sear.

You were calm and patient with him, as he asked questions about certain steps. You were, to his surprise, not flirting with him, not teasing, or trying to seduce him. You were yourself and… he was enjoying it. He loved the way your eyes would look as you calmly explained a cooking technique to him, or why certain ingredients go in at certain times. Your patience was another surprise for him. He was certain the questions he asked would annoy you, but you took them in stride.

“Are you sure you don’t have a boyfriend?” Urahara teased, knowing full well you don’t after he researched you. “I’m sure you’d cook for him like this.”

Your cheeks felt warm again, “no…” you whispered, as you watched him sauté the vegetables. “I would like to though if I had one.” Urahara’s eyes perked up, but he remained collected.

“Well, more for me then.” He laughed, trying to put you at ease.

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask your partner to teach you, Urahara-san.” You replied, gaining the courage to look at him.

Without missing a beat, Kisuke responded with a chuckle. “I don’t have one.” He opened the curry roux box and broke in some pieces as you told him to, “lucky us, right?”

You were surprised by this. Why isn’t someone like him in a relationship? But before you could dwell on the thought further, you instructed him to slowly pour in the chicken stock. Soon your kitchen began to smell of fragrant spices of Japanese curry. Your mouth beginning to water at the thought of dinner soon to come.

“Good job, Urahara-san!” You smiled at him, then placed the lid over the pot. “We can let this simmer away.”

“You can call me Kisuke.” He replied, giving you a slight smile. “I’m in your home, no need for honorifics.” He grinned.

“Oh…” your cheeks might as well be sore with how flushed they were becoming, “if you insist!” You nervously chuckled, “why don’t I make us the udon and a simple salad while you have a seat?”

“Actually, if you could just tell me where the bathroom is, that would be great.”

You turned him around to your hallway and pointed him in its general direction. Kisuke nodded and took off, leaving you with your thoughts for the time being.

Ok, that wasn’t so bad! You realized.

While you were lost in thought, cutting vegetables for the side salad, Kisuke snuck into your bedroom.

It was wrong of him to be here, but he was curious. He was also never one to deny himself from his curiosity. He inspected your room and looked at what held your interests. He already took note of what books lined your shelves and what artwork was placed in your cozy home. Little things that would tell him more about you. He saw on your bed was a laptop. Exactly what he was looking for. He inserted a flash stick into its port and turned on the computer. Maybe your computer would tell him more.

Once his flash drive had run through the code, allowing him remote access on his end, he turned it off and placed it back on your bed. He took another look around your room, a thoughtful look on his face as he inspected everything.

Kisuke already thought you were a curious woman. A woman with many interests judging by the books and art pieces you collected. He looked at your vanity and saw different skincare products laid across, with dainty pieces of jewelry in a small dish.

A dark part of him also wanted to find something else. He pulled a drawer and saw your underwear neatly arranged. An assortment of panties, briefs and thongs. Kisuke couldn’t help but smile at the thought of you in nothing but a thong in the kitchen waiting for him.

Speaking of which, he knew he had to return before you went to get him.

Kisuke made his way back to your kitchen, watching your back as you stirred the pot. He wondered what you were thinking about as you stood there. He crept behind you quietly, before wrapping his arms around you, “it smells delicious.” He whispers into your ear.

You jolt immediately, deeper into his embrace. You were completely caught off guard by his presence, “I didn’t noti—”

With the way your head was angled to look up to him, Kisuke took his chance and pressed his lips against you. Your eyes widened in shock before he pulled away. “My cooking can’t be that bad!” He laughed, seeing the expression on your face before grabbing your wooden spoon out of your hand. He stirred the pot as you reeled in disbelief over what had happened, brushing your fingers across your lips. “And I see you already made the udon and salad.” Kisuke nodded his head approvingly, “thank you.”

You nodded your head, unsure of what to say.

“Why don’t you sit?” Kisuke asked, “these are the bowls we’ll be using, right?” Again, you nodded.

Kisuke prepared your bowl first, placing it right in front of you. He sat next to you at your small table, waiting for you to take the first bite.

You hesitantly picked up a piece of chicken with your chopsticks, blowing off the residual steam from it. You still were unsure of what to say, maybe food in my mouth will make this less awkward. You immediately shoved it into your mouth and your eyes went wide.

“This is delicious! You did a wonderful job” You exclaimed, as you went for another piece.

“Well, I had an amazing teacher.” Kisuke smiled, placing his hand on your thigh. You didn’t recoil at the touch, but your body felt a bit tense.

What should I do? You wondered, trying to understand what was happening. You hesitantly placed your hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze. “Or maybe you’re just an excellent student.”

“My teachers and professors would beg to differ, but I’ll accept your compliment nonetheless.” He chuckled, before eating his share.

The two of you ate in silence. You were too preoccupied with what had happened, and Kisuke was enjoying the look on your face.

“Ura—I mean Kisuke” you murmured, placing your chopsticks into your empty bowl, “why did you do that?”

“Do what?” He smiled.

You stared at him, disbelief washing over your face as your mind began to race even faster. “You kissed me!”

“And?”

“Why?”

“Why not?” He laughed.

“I – we’re not dating”

“So let’s date. I want to keep kissing you.” Kisuke teased, leaning into you.

Your face felt hot once again, “how about we have dessert” you tried to quickly get out of your seat. “I have some ice cream in my fre—”

“I brought a dessert for us to share actually.” Kisuke smiled, going back to his nearly empty tote. “I bought this chocolate cake for us to share.” You were shocked to see the bakery’s name, it was a fairly expensive and highly coveted store that sold limited pastries.

“I always wanted to try one of their cakes!” You remarked.

“Then let’s dig in.” Kisuke smiled, already knowing where you kept your forks. Kisuke opened the box and cut a piece of the cake with his fork, before putting it to your face, “you should have the first bite.”

You were embarrassed but opened your mouth as you ate the piece of cake. Your eyes widened at the rich flavour of the chocolate, and the moist layers of cake.

“It’s that good?” Kisuke smirked, enjoying your reaction. You nodded your head and took a forkful for him, placing it by his mouth.

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, wrapping his lips around the utensil. You couldn’t look away, but felt dirty at what you had just seen. Flustered, you put the fork down, but saw that Kisuke had a smudge of icing near his mouth.

“Oh you got some on you,” you murmured, and out of habit, you reached towards him to wipe it away. But as soon as you held up your hand, Kisuke pulled you into his lap, causing you to shriek… except that it was muffled, with his lips on you once again.

Kisuke’s grip around your hips was firm, as you stilled in his lap. You didn’t know what to do, as you clung on to Kisuke as he pressed his lips against yours. You felt his tongue swipe at your mouth, causing you to gently open your mouth. You tasted the chocolate off his lips, before you pulled away. You took deep breaths as you saw Kisuke’s cheeks grow a tint of pink.

You licked your lips, unsure of what the feeling was coursing through your body. The only thing you knew was that you wanted more. With a jolt of courage, you placed your lips gently on Kisuke’s. Your thoughts were racing, but you didn’t care.

You felt wanted. With Kisuke’s warm hand slipping under your shirt, you also felt needed, and you were just as needy. You pulled away from him to catch your breath. Kisuke’s grey eyes were transfixed on you, staring directly at you with such intensity you had never seen before.

It scared you. And your anxiety crawled its way back into your brain, as you got off his lap.

Laughing nervously, “well this was fun!” You immediately went to grab the bowls and utensils and place them in your sink. “I’ll pack the rest for you to take home.”

Kisuke narrowed his eyes, watching your demeanour shift. You weren’t exactly cold with him, but he sensed a wall that no amount of kissing or flirting would break.

“I’ll help,” Kisuke calmly said, as he went to wash the dishes. “It’s the least I can do.”

“No, you’ve done plenty!” You exclaim, “I can’t make a guest do the dishes.” As you tried to pull him away from the sink, but he was surprisingly strong and sturdy.

Kisuke chuckled as he steady your body, “it’s fine.” He gave a quick peck on your forehead, your face heating up once again, “you having to pack the food away is more than enough.”

“Ok…” you sighed, resigning to portion out the rest of the food.

You ensured Kisuke had everything he brought back in his tote, making sure he didn’t forget anything.

“Thank you for the cake and company tonight.” You murmured, avoiding his gaze.

“And thank you for teaching me how to make curry udon.” Kisuke smiled, “hopefully we can do this again?”

You nodded your head.

“I’ll see ya at work tomorrow then.” Kisuke grinned, his bucket hat covering his eyes, leaving you unsure of what look he was giving you. The two of you waved each other off as he departed down your elevator.

Locking your door, you slumped.

You were so exhausted, and now you had to deal with work tomorrow! At least you didn’t need to worry about lunch.

Thank you for reading!! I want to thank @worldsetfree for beta'ing this chapter for me. The smut is coming soon!!

🍆🍆🍆

Bleach Men and their Dick Sizes ᰔᩚ

this was an request but i would have posted it anyways so here you go🩷

warning: smut, explicit content and language, 18+mdni

featuring: kenpachi zaraki, shunsui kyoraku, byakuya kuchiki, jushiro ukitake, shinji hirako, kisuke urahara, mayuri kurotsuchi, aizen sosuke, kensei muguruma, chojiro sasakibe, grimmjow jaegerjaquez, coyote starrk

Kenpachi Zaraki - 25 cm ఌ

My Man Kenpachi has an monstrous thick, veiny pretty looking cock. It’s slightly curved down. He is mostly clean shaved but his hair just gives him some rough charm.

Shunsui Kyoraku - 22 cm ఌ

Shunsui has also an slightly curved down cock, it’s firm and really thick. Some veins are showing and he is not really groomed but really hygienic nonetheless.

Byakuya Kuchiki - 20 cm ఌ

Byakuya has an pretty pale, thinner but really long cock. It’s perfectly symmetrical and he is always clean shaved and due his paleness you can see some veins.

Jushiro Ukitake - 20 cm ఌ

Jushiro has such a beautiful and perfect cock. It’s symmetrical and more on the thinner side but really firm. He is well groomed always.

Shinji Hirako - 18 cm ఌ

Shinji has a slightly curved up cock, it’s also a bit thinner but thick. Mostly groomed and some visible veins.

Kisuke Urahara - 19 cm ఌ

Kisuke his dick is not that thin but also not that thick, just somewhere in between. Slightly crooked and with some tiny cute stubbles and veiny.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi - 17,5 cm ఌ

Mayuri his cock is slightly crooked upwards and really veiny and firm. He is not really hairy so he doesn’t really shaves.

Aizen Sosuke - 19,5 cm ఌ

Aizen his dick is really pretty and symmetrical. Well groomed always and it’s veiny, not thin but also not that thick. Just the perfect size.

Kensei Muguruma - 20,5 cm ఌ

Kensei his dick is really thick and fat, extremely veiny and hooked down. He is most of the time clean shaved and has big balls lol.

Chojiro Sasakibe - 18,5 cm ఌ

Chojiro has an pretty cock. It’s more on the thinner side but it’s firm, extremely veiny and symmetrical. He has some cute little grey hairs down there adding to his older charm.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez - 19 cm ఌ

Grimmjow has an symmetrical, more thinner dick but extremely veiny and firmly. He is not clean shaved but not hairy either.

Coyote Starrk - 18 cm ఌ

Coyote has an slightly curved down cock with many visible veins and its really thick. He is not shaved cause he is too lazy but hygienic aswell.

Kenpachissluut ఌ

comments and reblogs appreciated, thank you for your support 🩶

Grimmjow… is a cookie thief. Short imagine or scenario. Can be Hueco Mundo, World of the Living or even the Seireitei.

Thanks for the lovely ask! I'm sorry it's taken me so. damn. long! So, it's turned out that Grimm isn't the thief here, but it's Grimmjow smut so I know you won't mind. 😁

Thanks to the wonderful @villainsrtasty for beta reading! @kryptoniteforsale @cloudyempress @darthwhorecrux @whatshernameis @writemessybleach

This is part 1 of 2.

PART TWO HERE! CW: Female!Reader, Grimmjow being Grimmjow, marking/hickies, one or two bites, hand on neck but no actual choking, very light spanking, oral sex-male receiving, vaginal fingering, doggy and missionary sex, cream pie, "claiming" if you squint, pet names (princess/kitten) and one instance of reader getting called "good girl". (This covers both parts of the fic!)

Grimmjow and the Cookie Thief pt 1 (~5.2k words)

You’d been able to see things no one else could since you could remember. After moving to Karakura Town to begin University classes, that skill had gone from fleeting glimpses to a full-blown ability to see the unseen. That’s why, when your upper floor dorm room was rendered uninhabitable by Kurosaki’s fight with a nasty hollow, Kisuke Urahara had been very quick to offer you a part-time job and temporary lodging when it was obvious that a standard Shinigami memory replacement device was not going to work on you. Needless to say, it was proving to be an interesting semester.

“Don’t even think about it, Grimmjow!” Ichigo said, yanking the bag in his hand out of Grimmjow’s reach and shoving the rest of the cookie he was holding into his mouth. “Inooeh made ‘ese ‘er me!”

You snickered as Grimmjow lunged for the small paper bag in Ichigo’s hand and an impromptu game of ‘keep-away’ broke out. You unrolled the top of a similar looking paper bag and inhaled deeply, your eyes rolling back a little as the smell of freshly baked cookies- ordinary double chocolate chunk you were relieved to see- filled your nostrils. You delicately picked one out of the bag as you watched the two men running around Urahara Shōten’s large subterranean training ground like idiots. Your eyes were glued to their shirtless forms as you took a bite of the cookie, half moaning at the taste. “Seems like someone is really enjoying their lunch break,” Your boss’s knowing voice came from over your left shoulder, making you jump. You could hear the smirk in his obnoxiously cheery voice which was made more obnoxious by the way he was now chuckling at you from behind his fan. “Perhaps I should start charging admission.”

“Is that really necessary, Urahara-san? You coulda made me choke, sneaking up on me like that,” you grumbled before taking a drink of water to wash down the bits of cookie trying to stick to your back teeth. You turned your attention back to the blue-haired former Espada. You watched as Grimmjow tackled Ichigo, who had deftly grabbed his last cookie from the bag a split second before Grimmjow shredded it into paper confetti. You took another bite of your cookie, unable to stop the little hum of appreciation and the following sigh of contentment. “Was that in response to the cookie or the Arrancar? I’m guessing the latter could probably get a stronger response,” Urahara murmured from just behind your ear before giggling and side stepping the elbow you threw at him before it could connect with its intended target. You glared at him over your shoulder, shoving the rest of the cookie into your mouth. He just smiled at you from behind his fan with saccharin sweetness… from a safe distance.

“Yeah, well I didn’t really want any of that cookie anyway. The stuff that woman of yours cooks always smells funny,” Grimmjow huffed. You turned back around to see the two men, sweaty and dusty, walking back in your direction. “Hey, watch it, Grimmjow!” Ichigo said sharply. “Say whatever the hell you want about me, but don’t run your mouth about Inoue or I’ll beat your ass again.” “Tch! When d’ya ever ‘beat my ass’?” Grimmjow shot back, then mumbled, “That one time doesn’t count. That bastard Nnoitra decided butt in.” Ichigo just looked at him, brow arched. You pulled the remaining cookie from your bag as they walked up. Grimmjow was giving the treat in your hand the side eye while very much pretending not to as he leaned down a few feet in front of you to pick up his jacket. You took another drink of water, contemplating breaking the cookie in half and offering some to Grimmjow when that damnable shopkeeper spoke up again. “Ah~! Looks like someone is interested  _______-san!” You just rolled your eyes as you swished the water around in your mouth. “If you’d like to eat _______-san’s cookie, I’m sure she would be happy to let you if you ask her nicely, Grimmjow-san!” Urahara called in a too innocent sing-song manner. Your eyes went wide and you clapped your hand over your mouth as you spluttered and coughed, struggling to swallow the rest of the water in your mouth without drowning yourself. Your eyes darted over to Ichigo and Grimmjow. Kurosaki was pulling his shirt on, his face bright red as he tried to look anywhere but at you or the Arrancar. Grimmjow, on the other hand, was now openly staring at the cookie in your hand. You could feel the heat radiating from your cheeks all the way up to the tips of your ears.

“Welp! Lunch break is over!” you announced, a little to loudly, while leaping to your feet and shoving the entire cookie into your mouth and ignoring Grimmjow’s startled ‘What the fuck?!.’ You turned and sprinted for the ladder leading up to the shop, then began to climb like you were being chased by a serial killer. You were about halfway to the top when Grimmjow’s voice floated up to your ears. “Fuckin’ pervert!” This was followed by a very satisfying shriek from your boss.

The sun was just setting when you put the last of the dishes away. It was your night to clean up after supper, much to everyone else’s delight. Kurosaki and Grimmjow had been trying to beat the crap out of each other down in the underground training area for the better part of the evening, but after the incident from a couple of days ago, you steadfastly refused to go watch them no matter how much your boss tried to talk you into it. You dried your hands, then grabbed your water bottle and the little paper sack off the counter and headed to your room. This time, you were going to enjoy the cookies Inoue-san sent for you in peace and quiet.

At least you thought you were. You hadn’t been up there five minutes and there was a very loud knock at the door. You furrowed your brow, scowling at the door as you finished pulling on the little shorts you always slept in. “Just a second!” you hollered, pulling your tee shirt back on as a second volley of impatient knocking rattled your door. Clothing in place, you stomped over to the door and slid it open. “Look, Urahara-tencho, I’ve finished everything, so whatever this is about, it can wait until tomo— Oh!” You interrupted yourself with a surprised yelp as six feet of blue-haired Arrancar muscled his way past you and into your room without preamble or invitation. For a moment, all you could do was stare at him, mouth ajar as he stood there, examining your space with interest. His eyes landed on the little bag with the familiar bakery logo and he quickly looked away, shuffling his feet and turning those intense blue eyes on you. “Gr- Grimmjow! Umm… I, ah… Is there something I can, uh, help you with?” you finally managed, your hand still on the open door. “You weren’t there today. Why?” he demanded. Your eyebrows rose in response to his terse question. He’d actually notice your absence? A few little butterflies took wing inside your stomach at the thought, but you firmly ignored them. “I- I had extra things to do today,” you lied, smiling weakly. You could tell by the look on Grimmjow’s face that he wasn’t buying it. “I mean, I have school and today was my day to wash dishes and clean the kitchen and there was stock and—“ Your babbling was cut off by Grimmjow’s towering presence looming over you as he slid the door shut with a clack. You blinked, and your breath caught in your throat at his sudden nearness. You were alone in a room with a being that could end you in less than two seconds and all you could think about was the way he smelled– the scent of his styling products plus something nice that you couldn’t place– and how much you wanted to reach up and touch the markings under his preternaturally blue eyes. He was making it very difficult for you to focus as he stared down at you with one brow cocked, silently calling your bullshit. “Okay, l-look, Grimmjow, I just needed a break. I didn’t feel like being harassed by my boss tonight.” That part was true at least.

“So it ain’t got nothin’ to do with those cookies?” Grimmjow tossed his head in the direction of the bakery bag sitting on your night table. “C-cookies?” you squeaked, a mental picture conjured by Urahara’s perverted sense of humor and Grimmjow’s presence in your bedroom floating to the forefront of your mind unbidden. You swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry. Other places… not so much.

“Yeah. Cookies,” he said shortly, the tiniest bit of color gracing his cheeks as he remembered Kurosaki’s mumbled explanation of Urahara’s double entendre and why you had seen yourself out so abruptly. “As in those cookies,” he clarified, pointing this time. “You know, the ones ya been stealin’ from me for the last month. “Wait. Wha-? Stealing?!?” He seemed amused rather than angry, and your indignant response only served to widen his cocky smirk.

“Yeah. Stealin’. So I came to take what’s mine.” Grimmjow took a step closer to you, standing so near that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. You took a step back, unsure if it was prompted by fear of the Arrancar or the fear that you might do something stupid, like reach out and run a finger over the scar that disappeared beneath his half zipped top. “Kurosaki’s woman used to bring somethin’ for both of us… ‘til a couple of weeks after you showed up.” “Oh.” You weren’t really sure what to do with that information. “So... you think that I’m taking your cookies?” You scrunched up your nose, feeling that this whole situation was bordering on ridiculous. “But I never really see Inoue-san! She always drops them off with…” You grit your teeth in sudden realization, then looked up at Grimmjow. From the look on his face, he’d come to the same conclusion. “Urahara!” “That pervy bastard!” you both growled in unison. You both looked at one another for a moment, then you sighed heavily and turned to retrieve that bag of cookies. Your fucking boss had been giving you the cookies just to start drama. “I’d like to say I’m shocked by this… but I’m not,” you grumbled. You held your arm out toward Grimmjow, bag in hand. “Here. I’m sorry for the confusion.” “Tch! The fuck you sorry for?” Grimmjow was glaring daggers at the door, his ire clearly reserved for your boss, you were relieved to note. He stopped trying to bore a hole through the walls with his eyes long enough to look down and unroll the top of the sack. There was a look of mild surprise on his face as he fished out two cookies and held them out to you. “There’s four. Here. Take ‘em,” he ordered, practically shoving the chocolatey treats into your hands. The next thing he fished out of the bag was a small piece of paper, a note. Grimmjow squinted at it, then turned it upside down and squinted some more before thrusting the paper into your face. “Read it. I can’t make out that pervy bastard’s handwriting.” In truth, Urahara had very neat, precise handwriting, which meant Grimmjow probably couldn’t read all the kanji. You wisely kept your suspicions to yourself and took the note. “ _____-san~!” you began to read aloud. “By this time I’m sure you have company, so I’ll keep it brief. I normally wouldn’t resort to such trickery”— you snorted at that statement — “but your presence in the training grounds seems to be quite the distraction for Grimmjow-san—“ Your eyes darted up and caught the murderous look on Grimmjow’s face so you quickly continued. “—and I fear that you will strain your eyes during your increasingly long breaks, so I thought it best to arrange for the two of you to have a private meeting so you can...” Your eyes scanned ahead and you stopped reading aloud abruptly, your face going bright pink. “I’m gonna kill ‘im,” Grimmjow growled. “Not if I get to him first,” you ground out between clenched teeth as you tossed the cookies and note onto your nightstand. You stalked past Grimmjow and reached for the door but were brought up short by Grimmjow’s hand wrapping around your arm. “Where the fuck you think you’re goin’?”

“To kill my boss,” you said between clenched teeth. “Okay. Maim. I need the paycheck,” you corrected, pulling against his grip.

The ‘Tch’ was all the warning you got before Grimmjow yanked on your arm, pulling you face first into his chest. For a moment, all you could do was blink in startled astonishment and rub your nose. Your mind immediately noted how solid he was, and how warm, much warmer than you’d expected for some sort of… ghost or spirit or whatever. Your thoughts took a hard right turn toward the gutter, and you could feel the heat creeping into your cheeks. You fervently hoped that they weren’t as pink as you felt like they were because you realized that he was saying something, meaning you had to look him in the face again any second now. “… ‘cause you can see him don’t mean you can take him in a fight, so you let me handle your boss.” Grimmjow’s words carried their typical condescension, but you could swear that his tone was a little protective. You shuffled back a step, mouth half open to protest, but it snapped shut again as your head was tipped back by Grimmjow’s finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “Pay attention when I’m talkin’ to you, woman, or I-” Grimmjow arched a brow at you, not bothering to finish his sentence as he studied your face, a wolfish grin breaking out at the sight of your flushed cheeks.

“Heh. What’s a matter? Your face is all red,” he taunted, his voice dropping to a rumbling baritone as he leaned down to put his face closer to yours. “N-nothing’s wrong! Except that you have me by the arm,” you huffed, your face giving Grimmjow the lie by turning a deeper shade of red. You half-heartedly tried to jerk your arm out of his grasp, a futile gesture you knew, but your pride demanded that you at least make a show of it. Truthfully, you really weren’t all that invested in getting away, not that you were going to let him know that. He’d just be an insufferable arrogant ass about it any time you came down to watch him face off with Kurosaki. “You’re a shitty liar, ya know that?” Grimmjow’s grin had expanded into that feral sort of look he got during a spar. You swallowed hard. Part of you knew you should be terrified of that look. However, most of you found it incredibly sexy, and right now all his attention was on you. All your attention was on him, too, and you just couldn’t keep your eyes from dropping to his lips. It was at this point that the absence of his bone mask finally registered. It was a sight you’d never seen before, and you were intrigued. Before you could stop yourself, your hand was halfway to his cheek. You paused, wide eyed and moved to pull your hand away, but Grimmjow had you by the wrist with his other hand before you could. “Gigai,” Grimmjow said in response to your unspoken question. He walked around you, easily turning you with him. “But forget about that. Now tell me, what should I do with a little thief like you, hn?” His voice carried a quiet intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. Grimmjow leaned down a little more, his brilliant blue eyes boring into yours. “Th-thief?! What do you mean, ‘thief’?!” You protested, your indignant words coming out in a much higher pitch than you would’ve liked. You tried to lean away from him, but only succeeded in losing your balance so that Grimmjow was holding you upright by your arm and your opposite wrist. You didn’t even realize he had been walking you backward until your calf hit the mattress as you stepped back to try and catch yourself. You didn’t think your eyes could go any wider, but they did.

“I mean, I think I deserve a little something to make up for all the cookies you stole over the last few weeks.” His smirk made you want to slap him. Or kiss him. Or both. Definitely both.

 “That wasn’t my fault and you know it!” you shot back instead, turning your head to the side and tilting your chin in a dismissive manner. “Besides, I’ve watched you try to steal Ichigo’s cookies for the last three weeks, so isn’t that a little hypocritical?” “Pfft. I definitely do not want Kurosaki’s ‘cookie.’” Despite what you might say about Urahara, you couldn’t deny that there was a part of your mind that lived in the gutter. You didn’t even try to hide your snicker at Grimmjow’s comment.

“You sure about that? Not that Kurosaki-san has a cookie for you…”

“Oi! Your as bad as that fuckin’ boss of yours, ain’t ya,” Grimmjow growled, now completely up in your face. You had nowhere to go unless you wanted to end up flat on your back on the bed. ‘Might not be so bad…’ the dirty part of your mind suggested helpfully.

“Ya know… that might not be such a bad trade, a cookie for some cookies,” Grimmjow said as if reading your thoughts. He was openly leering at you now.

“I- What?!?” you squeaked.

“Ain’t like I don’t see the way you watch me.” Grimmjow smirked down at you.

“O-of course I watch the fights! It-it’s like… li-like free pay-per-view!” you stammered, too flustered to come up with anything better. Grimmjow obviously wasn’t buying it because his smirk only grew wider.

“Well I sure as fuck don’t see you drooling over Kurosaki.”

“Of course I don’t! He has a girlfriend!” You belatedly realized that you only denied ogling Kurosaki when Grimmjow leaned down to chuckle right next to your ear. Your traitorous body shuddered visibly at the feel of his breath ghosting over the side of your neck. “Heh. I think you’d like that trade more than you’re willin’ to admit,” he whispered in a velvety sort of tone, one that you had never heard from him before. Hell, you didn’t think Grimmjow had it in him to be that… smooth. That was probably why your breath hitched when his hand slid over your shoulder and up your spine until he had a firm grip around the nape of your neck. “Gr-Grimmjow?” You could feel his nose brush your temple as he inhaled your scent. “Holy fuck. You’re fucking serious aren’t you…” you blurted out in disbelief.

“The fuck? You think I wasn’t?”

You didn’t have a chance to answer his question before his mouth was fastened to yours in a demanding kiss that left no doubt about the sincerity of his ‘offer’. Your gasp of surprise left Grimmjow the perfect opening to slide his tongue between your parted lips, his fingers tangling in the back of your hair to tug your head back to a more favorable angle. At first, you couldn’t do anything but let Grimmjow kiss you, but once the shock wore off, you found yourself giving back as good as you got. By the time he was done kissing you breathless, you had one hand under the collar of his jacket, holding onto his shoulder for balance and the other around his waist, fingers splayed out over his back. You felt Grimmjow twitch, like a cat who was getting a good scratch down its spine, and it dawned on you that your hand was over the spot his hollow hole would be if he weren’t in the gigai. With a wicked grin, you flexed your fingers to see if that would get the same result. “Dammit, woman!” Grimmjow growled. Oh! That was certainly a nice response! You did it again, but that was one time too many apparently. Before you could blink, you were on your way down to meet your mattress with Grimmjow looming over you, his knee between yours on the edge of the bed.

“Yes or no?” Grimmjow demanded, “Better tell me ’cause you keep doing shit like that, I’m gonna take it as a yes.” “Yes or…? Oooh. Right. A cookie for cookies,” you breathed. ‘Holy shit… is this really happening?’ you thought. Your mind was reeling. ‘Yep, it’s happening... Say something to him, dammit! Don’t blow it!’ You gave yourself a mental shove, then with the most innocent face you could muster, you let your fingers trail down his spine again. “You mean ‘that shit’?” Your cheekiness prompted Grimmjow to pin your wrists over your head in one of his hands. “Okay, Okay! Yes! Deal!” you hastily consented. “Good girl,” Grimmjow practically purred, nipping at your ear. He continued his way down, lips and tongue and teeth teasing the side of your neck until he reached your collarbone. There, he let his teeth scrape along the sensitive skin before sucking on the spot hard enough that you knew it was going to leave a very obvious bruise. “Ow! What the fuck, Grimmjow?!” you yelped. He chuckled darkly and tugged on the neckline of your shirt to work his way along more of your collarbone, not bothering to give you any other response. He left a few more love bites along the way, but always soothed them with his tongue before moving along. The gentleness of the gesture caught you off guard the first time, making your breath hitch in an embarrassingly loud fashion. You waited for the inevitable teasing from Grimmjow… but it never came, only a low sort of rumble as he reached the limit of how far your tee shirt would stretch. “This one of your favorite shirts or anything?” Grimmjow asked. The sudden questions made you blink. Why the hell was he concerned about your fashion sense now, of all times? “Huh? I mean, not real— Wait! No, Grimmjow don—“ The small part of your brain that was not yet occupied with Grimmjow finally caught up with the situation, but it was too late. The sound of ripping cloth drowned out your strangled cry of protest as he stuck the hem of your shirt between his teeth then used his free hand to give it a good yank, ripping it all the way up to the collar. With a feral grin, he leaned down and caught the collar of your ruined shirt in his teeth and popped it apart the same way. “Was that really necessary?!” you almost shrieked, more from shock than any real outrage. “You tell me,” Grimmjow murmured smugly, his lips already against your neck. He worked his way down and across your other collarbone, leaving patches of colorful flesh to match the other side. By the time he reached your shoulder, you were struggling in his grasp, unable to hold still and unable to completely stifle the little whimpers he drew from you with every new mark he left on our skin. “Hmm, not bad.” Grimmjow smirked as he leaned back to admire his handiwork. You took a look at yourself and groaned. “Grimmjow!” you whined. “My pervy boss is never gonna let me live this down!” You got no sympathy from him; he thought it was funny as hell. “Not my problem,” he said dismissively, reaching down to give your nipple a pinch through your bra. You yelped, and Grimmjow grinned wider. You had a feeling that you’d be making that noise a lot and were immediately proven right as your other nipple got equal attention.

“Who taught you to treat a lady like that?!”

Again, Grimmjow only chuckled at your indignant squawking. “Good thing you ain’t a lady. And don’t gimme that look. You got a mouth on you to put Kurosaki to shame,” he pointed out, running a finger under the edge of your bra. The bra did happen to be a favorite. “Don’t you fucking dare Grimmjow! That one is expensive!” you barked, trying to spare any more of your clothing from getting shredded. “The clasp is right there in the front. Here. Just let go of my hands and I’ll get it,” you offered, wanting the use of your hands, not just to save your bra from becoming a pile of scraps, but also to peel him out of his jacket.

“Nice try sweetheart,” Grimmjow practically purred, his grip on your wrists tightening fractionally. Well, at least he popped the closure of your bra open instead of tearing through it. One out of two wasn’t bad, you supposed. Worries about your bra or the use of your hands or anything else were shoved straight out of your head as Grimmjow wasted no time in reaching up to palm one of your breasts, giving it a firm squeeze. “Oh shit!” The word slipped out before you could check yourself and Grimmjow arched a brow at you, his trademark smirk still plastered on his face. “Like that, do ya?” he asked smuggly. “Ya ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” With that, Grimmjow let his head drop to your chest, his mouth closing over the tip of your other breast with a single hard suck before he began teasing the hardened peak with his tongue. His hand left off its soft massaging in favor of using his fingers to torment your other nipple, alternating between circling it with the calloused pad of his thumb and rolling it between thumb and forefinger. He mirrored these motions with his mouth, licking and sucking with the occasional scrape of teeth and a corresponding sharp pinch to match. You seriously wished you had an arm free to throw across your face because there was no keeping your mouth closed around the clipped moans and soft gasps you were making. You squirmed under him, pulling against his hold on your wrists again with no better luck this time than the last. “Ah! You could at least… mmnh!... take off some clothes,” you whined between the naughty little noises you were trying to hold back. Grimmjow lifted his head to look you in the eyes, snickering openly as he leered at you.

“Hmn. Somebody’s soundin’ a little desperate.” His tone had a mocking edge that made you want to slap him. You tugged against his grip on your wrists on reflex and his grin widened.

“Bastard,” you huffed under your breath, jaw clenched in frustration. His grin widened when your words were followed by a sharp intake of breath as he gave your pebbled nipple a hard pinch.

Grimmjow leaned in, his lips brushing your ear, his voice dropping half an octave as he practically purred, “Aww, what’s wrong, kitten? Mad that you can’t use those claws of yours?” He squeezed your wrists just enough to make his point; he was the one in control. “Hmn. Might be more fun to let ya.”

With that, he went after your neck again, but this time he was less interested in marking you up and more interested in working his way back down your body with sloppy, open-mouthed kisses, stopping to lick the curve of your breast before lifting his head again just long enough to shoot you another one of his trademark smug smiles.

Grimmjow knew exactly what he was doing to you as he dropped his head and latched on to your other nipple, sucking hard before swirling his tongue around it. Your back arched off the bed in a manner he found most satisfying, for all that you were trying to act unaffected. The feel of him lapping at your already over sensitized nipple wrung a high-pitched whine out of you that you couldn’t quite repress. This turned into a gasp as his hand followed the line of your ribs, warm palm caressing your belly with a gentleness that surprised you as it dropped lower. Then his fingers curled under the waistband of your little pajama shorts and he gave them a sharp yank, pulling them down to your knees without even lifting you up. So much for gentleness.

You watched the expression on Grimmjow’s face change as he stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes glued to the damp spot on your panties. He took a long, slow breath through his nose, and his entire expression shifted to something less smug and more… hungry.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. You followed his line of sight and felt yourself turning a nice shade of tomato red, but that didn’t keep a smug grin of your own from creeping onto your face. Before he could get his hand back to its intended destination, you took advantage of his moment of distraction to plant both of your feet squarely in the middle of his chest. “The hell, woman!” he growled, clearly not happy about being blocked from his next meal. “Ditch some clothes,” you insisted defiantly, despite Grimmjow still pinning your wrists firmly to the mattress. You toed the zipper on the front of his outfit. “Oh, come on!” You cringed inwardly at the whine in your words, but went on anyway. “If I’m giving up my… uh, cookie, the least you could do is give me something nice to look at!” “Tch! You sayin’ I’m not nice to look at like this?” he goaded, making a grab for your ankles with his free hand. You were just quick enough that he could only grab one of your feet. If he wanted the other one, he would have to let go of your wrists. You ignored his attempt to ruffle your feathers and gave him a lazy smile as you ran a foot over his abs lightly, right where his hollow hole was when he was out of his gigai, never mind that teasing him like that is what had gotten your arms pinned over your head in the first place. “Dammit, woman!” Grimmjow growled, trying to evade your touch, but he couldn’t exactly get out of your reach without letting go of you, and he wasn’t ready to admit defeat. You weren’t sure if you were brave or just stupid to taunt an arrancar this way, but in the moment it hardly mattered. You ran your foot over his abs again, this time bringing it all the way back to the center of his chest where you once again poked at the zipper with your toe. “Please?” You pasted on a doe-eyed expression. “I promise I’ll be good,” you added in a sugary whisper, leaving it open to interpretation whether you were referring to behaving well… or performing well. Grimmjow snorted. “I bet you will.”

PART TWO!

METALLICA AND GEGE YOU ARE FOREVER MY GOATS

The next station is...

Rick Sanchez definitely tastes like whiskey, tragedy, and divinity. He probably kisses you like he needs your oxygen, like you’re the IV tube keeping him alive.