I Love How Michael Saw A Depressed Person Like Himself And Immediately Thought "yeah, This Is It" And

I'm three pages into loveless AND ALICE

ALICE WHEN I CATCH YOU ALICE

"You don't have to conform to some generic idea of what asexuality is. If you think you're asexual, that's enough."

- Shinobu Ishii, Is Love the Answer?

Reid Reading Solitaire by Alice Oseman

Possible spoilers below

I never thought I would identify with a character as strong as I do with Tori Spring. I've never thought I could be anyone who matters to someone, and I still don't now, even with the friends I've found after growing up learning how to be on my own, especially when second-guessing everything you feels like it's all you ever do. The backpack chapter reasonated with me, every time I get overwhelmed, I make a decision completely blown out of proportion to make something feel right about me, to stop the panic and racing thoughts.

Then there's overthinking what to say, around family and friends and strangers, what to feel, what your morals are and what separates you from your intrusive thoughts. Every thought you have in conversation is about what other people see in you and how you relate to the conversation in the slightest, making you aware you're such a bloody narcissist. Contradicting yourself often, which confuses everyone else and frustrates you the most. But while those people contradict themselves, you feel both the confusion and frustration, almost for the other person.

You try to keep it all down then, because while you know have everything, you feel like you need more. You can't believe it, you're already trying to earn what you have now, what else could you possibly want?

And then there is wondering, about the "why" when you want something. Why do you want it if the cost is too risky? What would you do to get it? Why would you work so hard if it might end badly for you?

The contradiction, when you need help, you don't want to be alone, but the company you have doesn't feel like what you need, you feel like a watcher of your own uninteresting life. Second guessing, (do I actually want this?) I don't know what I'm actually going to feel if I get what I think a moment of unexplored comfort would be. Maybe it will be suffocating. Maybe it isn't possible. Maybe I'd ruin it. That's when the wondering goes further.. What about your identity is truly yours? Which pieces have you handpicked from the people in your life, and what is actually inside you that makes you who you are? Maybe you don't want to ever know.

This all being said, the one thing I feel separated myself from Tori Spring's character- was that she doesn't like to read, my little dark heart sank from my body in dismay. I still love her though, enough to breathe through the book in one afternoon.

This is exactly what it looks like🫠

me covering up my neck area the second any "skin" is exposed, I'm hiding my binder from my family:

Me, making the anxiety of hiding this from them for now until I'm ready to show even my mom to let her know what's up, internally: I AM SPIDERMAN

Happy birthday Michael Holden

Mizu from Blue Eye Samurai is asexual !

One time, I was on Coronado Island during SDCC and saw you. It's probably been 12-15 years now. Since that day, sometimes when I feel out of place because maybe my style or vibe doesn't match the crowd I'm in, I think, "Stop! Be as comfortable and confident as Neil Gaiman walking around wearing all black in the California sunshine!"

This sounds very wise. I long ago learned I'm more comfortable feeling like me.

Reblog/like this if you’re LGBTQ+ and run an active blog in 2024.

Trying to find new blogs to follow. 🫶🏻