I Can't... They Went Full Nazi... You Never Go Full Nazi...

this is a redo of an old post. it deals with more negative feelings than usual for the trans stuff but, those feelings are important too

Original comic by Rasenth

Historical around the destruction of cemeteries in Gaza

Don't you dare. They used to be merged until orange trees> orange fruit> orange color.

It's why we have terms like "red fox," or "red head" when they're usually more orange.

Please don't send us back to the middle ages. I'm on my knees begging. We'll have dumbasses within a few years asking stupid shit like "why is called an orange if it's red or yellow?" Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

If you could make a new color what would you name it and how does it sound more real than magenta.

oh oh oh!! I have a really cool fact as part of my answer!!

Okay, so you know how colour is a spectrum, right? Your eyes only REALLY perceive blends of three base colours- red, blue, and green. (Yes, green.) All other colours are blends of these three primaries- red and green make yellow, red and blue make magenta, and blue and green make cyan.

As you mentioned, magenta is a ""fake"" color- this is because colours are made of waves! The waves on the red end of the spectrum are Low Frequency and the waves on the blue end are High Frequency. You'd *think" halfway between both wavelengths would be the result, but that's green, and we already have a colour for green! So to fix this paradox, the line from red to blue becomes a circle and we see magenta instead!

Now again, this spectrum- it looks like this:

And most of the world recognizes the six listed colours as distinct. Which means that we take this blended gradient and add hard lines, like this, to clearly separate them from each other:

BUT, not all societies do this!! There are some whose languages don't *have* different words for "blue" or "green", and as a result, people raised speaking these languages have a REALLY HARD TIME distinguishing between what we recognize as "obviously" either green OR blue.

THEIR colour spectrum looks like this:

Which is correct and valid and makes COMPLETE sense, because we argue about differences in colour all the fucling time- "is this dark blue or dark purple", "is this neon yellow or neon green", and "is this orange or red" are some common examples. Any of those in-betweens could be treated as whole and distinct blocks with distinct boundaries.

And so, I propose this:

We merge orange and red cause i can't be fucking arsed

do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why

Closet hiding?

Did any other neurodivergent kids hide in closets? Like when you were overwhelmed or maybe just to find a quiet spot to be alone and undisturbed? Maybe for no reason other than enjoying sitting in closets? Is that even a neurodivergent thing? I hope I’m not the only one who did this.

Constantly being surrounded by people who have it worse than you so you don’t realize how bad it is until you mention something offhandedly that you thought was funny and someone looks at you and tells you that the thing you thought was good was actually bad and then you start thinking and remembering how everything wasn’t good at all and was actually very bad

Sometimes, I don't want to heal. Healing almost feels like a betrayal to myself. I know what they've done, and the damage will never be fully healed. It almost scares me to think that I might forget or become numb to it. As long as the wounds stay open, and I still feel the burning pain, it's real. I can't trick myself into thinking it's not.

There are other times when I don't want to heal because people might not believe me. I've already plenty who don't, but it would be so much worse if someone saw evidence of my trauma but didn't believe me because the rest of my personality and coping mechanisms seem normal. If I stay broken, the smaller cracks are less noticable, and they're easier to explain. Obviously, a shattered window is going to have both big and small cracks and might even be missing some pieces.

Sometimes healing just doesn't seem worth it because I feel like my life should be perfect once I'm past that point. People have it worse, and the worst is behind me, so I have no right to be this way.

I don't know. I'm not sure I want to heal

Nobody ever tells you the uglier side of recovery. Especially when your mental illness is stacked on top of other issues than cannot be cured.

Take dental hygiene for example. Say you've been deeply depressed for years, to the point of not brushing your teeth. Add ADHD and autism to that, making it even harder.

After several years, I've entirely fucked my teeth. Now that it's just SLIGHTLY better, I could start working on dental hygiene... But what's the point? The damage is done. It's irreparable without major, expensive surgery, and at this point, I might as well get a whole new mouth.

I'm left wondering, "what the hell is the point?" And I start to regret the miniscule amount of progress I've made and the fact that I survived this long.