Happy Thursday The 20th

Why is it so hard to function as an adult?

I literally just want to be able to have some money and enjoy my life, but no. My job is too hard for me, and I'm bending over backwards to find a better one.

The problem comes in with why my job is too hard. Not only is it a very physically demanding job (I am not in shape, or used to doing a lot of physical labor), it also requires speed AND accuracy. I have trouble with both of those things, and it sucks.

I want to find another job, but most jobs have the same requirements, or require a degree, which I don't have. Those swedish artists need to hurry up with their "clock in at the train station and get paid to do whatever you want all day" project. Until then, I just want to be able to work as an artist. My drawing tablet comes in Friday, but I don't have time to do commissions or improve my art enough to even ask for a decent amount of money for commissions.

Cuddle me but don’t touch me?

I know I can’t be the only one here who normally loathes physical contact, but would kill for a cuddle at like 4 a.m. It feels so intense, and you can sort of feel it in the pit of your chest. That feeling of desperately needing someone to hold you as close and tight as they can. Occasionally, it’s enough to push me to tears, Why does this happen? Is it that need for pressure that most neurodivergent people experience? Is it a hidden loneliness that only shows when I’m alone and sleepy? Am I touch-starved? Or is this something else entirely?

guys i actually beg of you to not let palestine become an unpleasant flashback, a transient tumblr trend, a hasbeen subject that just faded away. as an arab—and specifically iraqi—girl, i know what it feels like to have family displaced all over the world as a result of western imperialism. i know what it feels like to not be able to step foot into your homeland because it’s no longer safe. as an american iraqi, raised in the us and insulated from my roots, it wasn’t until last summer that i was able to visit iraq for the first time, and even then my family was worried for my safety—in my own blood country. although nothing like what palestinians are experiencing right now, it might be the tiniest semblance of what it feels like to watch your country disintegrate in front of you.

and this is a universal arab experience. i volunteer weekly at a refugee center that serves middle eastern refugees, and every day i see the longing in their eyes when they speak of where they hail from. it’s safe to say that we will be getting a wave of palestinian refugees very soon: just another generation of arabs who can’t inhabit their own country.

arab culture is so rich, so profound, so beautiful. i am tired of being told by the world—through literal genocide—that it doesn’t mean anything. please never let this be forgotten. free palestine. free palestine. free palestine.

I hate when some "Chosen one" stuff happens in a dream right before I wake up and happens to be connected to the real world.

Like the other day, I was sleeping because I had to work that night. I see nothing but I hear a deep, disembodied voice say something like "Even the youngest Gods may have trouble managing their planets. You should help them."

I wake up and my cousin (a toddler) is screaming because she woke up from her nap and doesn't know what's going on. She doesn't know how to regulate emotions. She needs help managing her planets.

Do you ever feel bad for being alive but then regret it the next second because how could I ever be so ungrateful, to forget that my circumstances pale in comparisons to so many others.

Privileged in every way of the world and yet unhappy, it is a ridiculous paradox,

And I understand the looks of disgust, the scorn for my feeling this way when I have had a decent enough existence,

But how do I fill this ache,

What could I possibly say to close up this gaping hole inside of me that never let's me forget,

I would like to know,

How do I stop feeling so

When the world doesn't think I have reason to feel it at all.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM BISAN ON HER INSTAGRAM

Today in Khan Yunis! This might be our last call, we are dying! Gaza is completely collapsing! Everything in it collapses. There were dozens of raids and three hospitals were besieged in Khanyounis: Al-Amal Hospital affiliated with the Red Crescent, Al-Khair Private Hospital, and Nasser Medical Complex, the largest health institution in the Gaza Strip. People killed in the bombing were buried on front of our eyes in the hospital yard due to tanks blockading the streets, the wounded were on the ground without treatment and there was not enough medical staff! Massacres are still being committed On the 109th day of the war, Khan Yunis, the largest governorate in the Gaza Strip and the one that receives the most displaced people, is under bombardment, and the number of displaced people in Rafah is more than one and a half million people, in an area of 151 square kilometers!! We are facing hepatitis and intestinal diseases in the southern Gaza Strip, and starvation to death in the northern Gaza Strip! Yesterday, people in the northern Gaza Strip began grinding animal feed to get flour! Take to the streets, protest, strike.. make pressure on the decision makers by striking the economic movement! Call for a ceasefire!

Instagram

‎Bisan’8 - حكواتية‎ on Instagram: "Today in Khan Yunis! This might be our last call, we are dying! Gaza is completely collapsing! Everythin

505K likes, 8,739 comments - wizard_bisan1 on January 23, 2024: "Today in Khan Yunis! This might be our last call, we are dying! Gaza is com

Fatigue and Hopelessness is NOT AN OPTION

from Rahma Zein, 14/Jan/2024:

Do not be divided. Speak up for Palestine.

Sleeping under the mattress?

Did any other neurodivergent kids do this? I can’t be the only one.