The Pale Garden Also Known As Birch Forest 2 Electric Boogaloo

Bad priorities

Well I don't know can you swim in lava?

I really love the r/volcanoes subreddit because most of the posts are just people going "what if a Volcano exploded right now?" "What if twenty fucking Volcanoes exploded near you right now?"

Playing computer games when your not supposed to actually feels great though

is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do

3 fun romantic questions to ask on a first date

- where's the nearest exit?

- what's your lung volume?

- how many spiders are too many?

Omg he fucking killed them

Ermm refaces your ENA

Based off of one of the faces in Hoarder Alex's pile

He is then devoured whole

Scps will be like

The 8 foot tall man must be kept within a 20 by 20 foot room with walls made of {redacted}

(several lines of black boxes)

He was found in a sunken oil rig at coordinates {data expunged} by our kickass bisexual researcher Dr bligby

Through rigorous testing and the death of 73 "death row inmates" we have found that he is capable of {information taken down under request by the Tennessee preservation of natural guinea pigs organisation}

*jaw dropping metaphor for how institutions are corrupted by greed*

Casting identify voids your warranty

A magic store where an incredibly powerful being sells untested magic items for shits and giggles. The players get extreme discounts, but they also don't know exactly what the magic items will do, only getting descriptions of appearance and the shopkeeper's notes on what they made the item from. Some items are explained more than others. Some are obvious in function, some are a puzzle to even activate.

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It is not a bit, it is not a funny, it is not a meme. It is a joke, and it you find them funny you are supposed to laugh not slightly exhale

If it may please the jury I shall do a little boogey