Prepare To Be Ruled, Peasants

Begs for what? King Charles to die faster?

I need some luck please 🥺

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

I n g o t

(ingot)

Litteraly me and my delulu besties

whenever my program freezes

torn between the competing desires to be polyamorous and not-at-all-amorous

Very tragic story but like when you put it like this...

Captain 3 is the funniest Splatoon character actually

Be some kid on the street

You're 14

Get pressured into joining the army by an old man??

Start going by Agent 3. Which is not a name

Never speak a word (you're canonically too shy)

You just start blasting??

Save the world and liberate an entire race of people somehow???

The entire rest of the series can only happen because you did this

Almost kill the protagonist of Octo Expansion (she is in love with you now)

Turn 16

Become a DJ as a hobby??

Your DJ name is DJ Sango. Sango is just "number 3" in Japanese. Still not a real name

Start taking yourself really seriously

Start wearing a cape

Get knocked unconscious multiple times

Get mind controlled???

It's fine you got better

Turn 21. The old man quits and puts you in charge of the army???

You inherit his hobo outfit. Why are you actually wearing it

Start going by Captain (still not a name)

Still never speak (a girl speaks for you) (she's a famous singer and older than you, why are you making her do this)

Do one (1) cool thing and just sit on your ass the whole rest of the game

Say booyah once