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Far Cry 5? O.O (I thought the Fandom for it was dead because there wasn't much I found on here)

This is true. Well, or close to the truth. But I still remember fc5 sometimes. This brings about a pleasant nostalgia. So sometimes I go into these tags and re-read everything. Very rarely does anything new appear here. Hooray!

Squid Game AU. Because why not

Y/n: -It's so good that I have a triangle.

Guard!Luka: -...

Y/n: *casts a passionate glance at the guard* Because it's easy to make a heart out of a triangle for you.

Guard!Luka: *shy*

---

Y/n: *slaps a guard on the ass loudly*

All: *shocked*

Guard!Adrien: *blushes*

Y/n: -There is one problem. I still don't have your number.......... Oh yes. I don't have a phone either.

---

Player: -You should stop acting like that.

Y/n: -Why? Will they kill me for bad jokes? Ahaha

All: *are silent*

Y/n: -Ahah... ha... They won't do it, will they? Right? WHY ARE YOU SILENT?????

Yandere!Gale X Reader Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere! tw: obsessive behaviour, mild somnophilia, non-consensual kiss

The camp greeted the night with peaceful silence. Another difficult journey was behind us. A fight with a small group of goblins left everyone exhausted. After a serving of hot stew, you immediately dozed off on your sleeping bag, not finding the strength to change your clothes. The fire crackled behind you, warming you pleasantly.

A mysterious silhouette separated from one of the tents and moved towards you. The firelight illuminated him, revealing Gale. The man sat down next to you and looked at you thoughtfully. He had a warm cloak folded in his hands, which he immediately covered you with. Gale froze, looking closely at your face. Never before had he been able to enjoy such closeness. A reluctance to leave settled in his heart. You slept in ignorance of how beautiful, how stunning his eyes saw you. Road dust stained your cheek. Gale reached up to gently wipe your face. Rough fingers touched your face. His heart stopped for a moment.

"Gorgeous," a barely audible whisper escaped his lips.

----

Gale felt especially brave. He leaned towards you, one hand on the ground and the other still on your cheek, and kissed you. His lips touched yours for the first time. The Netherese Orb in the wizard's chest began to pulse. He frowned. Gale wanted so badly to deepen the kiss. He wanted to see how far he could go before you woke up. But the curse in his chest made him stop. What is he doing? It's too dangerous. What will he say if you catch him doing something like this? Gale tensed. He realized that his actions were wrong. But how can he resist when you're so close? He runs his nose over your face and kisses the corner of your lips, showering light kisses all over your cheek, eyebrow and chin. After this, Gale hides her face in your neck. He enjoys your warmth and natural scent. He counts the pulse. Gale's eyes begin to close. He would like to stay with you in his arms. But he knows you won't be happy to see him so close. You are comrades. Maybe a little bit friends. But not lovers. And it makes Gale's insides hurt. He hopes that time will change that. He leaves one last kiss on your neck. You moan softly in your sleep. Gale's face flushes. He's happy to elicit this reaction from you. He would really like you to stay awake and give yourself to him willingly. But all he can do tonight is leave before someone catches him and things get complicated.

-Sweet dreams. See you in the morning - he says goodbye tenderly and gets up to go to his tent, followed by someone's gaze from the darkness.

From now on, Withers will keep the wizard's secret along with many other secrets of his own.

This work lay in drafts for a very long time. Now I have translated everything. Woohoo! (Reminder: English is not my native language. There are mistakes here)

Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere! Pairing: Yandere! Ketheric Thorm x Reader, Yandere! Enver Gortash x Reader, Yandere! Orin the Red x Reader tw: platonic obsession, manipulation, restriction of freedom, mention of murders

I'm ready to throw an idea at you. Attention. You get into the bg3. BUT you aren't Tav and you aren't together with Tav. You find yourself among the Chosen Three. And they become platonic yandere!

Ketheric Thorm, Enver Gortash and Orin the Red will know that you know about their future. You know how to achieve certain events, as well as how to prevent it. Keeping you close is not only a necessary measure, but also an advantage. From now on, they must do everything to prevent Tav from finding out about you and taking you away.

You spend the least amount of time with Ketheric Thorm. As the leader of the army, he is always in the most dangerous places of the war. Besides, the Moonrise Towers are a dangerous place. There are a lot of killers there. You are usually in full view of Ketheric. Over time, you begin to get used to it. Ketheric listens, but often doesn't pay attention. You can tell him anything. At this time he goes about his business, sometimes nodding to you. But if you suddenly ask him a question, he will simply look at you menacingly, making you afraid. The old man is not angry. He just didn't remember anything you said and doesn't want to admit it. Your voice helps him not to worry. If you're still talking, it means you haven't been eaten. Therefore, he can continue his business. When you leave the Moonrise Towers, Ketheric looks with bitterness at the things you leave behind. It reminds him of the times when he was still a father. Perhaps he will put your drawing or note in one of his books.

Orin will become friend or foe depending on your decision. If you refuse to help them, She will find ways to make you talk. Her ideas about the world are very perverted, so friendship with Orin barely differs from enmity. She will take great pleasure in fooling around with you. She likes to scare you by telling you colorful ways of killing you. You will probably not be able to make friends because of her. It's hard to trust someone and tell your secrets when that someone could be Orin herself. She will need time to convince Gortash and Ketheric to allow you to visit the Bhaal’s Temple. They don't trust Orin. The more disgusted you are by the atmosphere of her temple, the more fun she will experience. In the depths of his bedroom, Orin will get a little soft. She will let you play with her hair. And she will talk about the teachings of Bhaal, but not with the intention of scaring, but with the desire to share something hidden for her. She will also want to teach you how to make a sacrifice to her god correctly. If you refuse, she will be upset, but will not insist. (Gortash made it clear to her that she should not break you.) Then she brings you back and avoids you for a week or two. It's new for her to feel this way. Not even her family received this honor. When she calms down and copes with unusual emotions, she will visit you again. And she will promise to kill you in the most beautiful way possible when necessary. It's not a threat. This is her expression of love.

It is with Lord Gortash that you spend the most time. His castle is safe, and the Steel Watchers walk around the city everywhere. You are well dressed and always look great to match him. High society is asking questions about who you are to him. Are you a lover, relative, decoration or pet? Only you and Gortash know that you are a means to achieve his goals. And only Lord Gortash knows that you are someone he has grown more attached to than he should have. He gives you almost anything you want, but expects you to cooperate in return. In addition, Gortash believes that just looking beautiful next to him is not enough. Therefore, all your free time (which is not much) will be occupied with training. If you escape from the castle (which is absolutely impossible), the guards will bring you back. Gortash is perhaps the only one among the owners of three stones who understands that your usefulness is not constant. Everything can go along the route you know with minor changes in his favor. Or it may happen that what is happening will become completely new even for you. Sometimes he jokes that he will throw you out when you become useless. But you still remember how Lord Gortash got angry at the impudent Count for asking to take you as his wife and Gortash ordered the insolent man to be executed.

----

Somewhere in the universe, the Emperor turns the table in a rage and demands Tav to quickly find and save (kidnap) you. (I don't know how he found out about you ._.)

----

Tav sighs tiredly and silently agrees. They're too tired of all. They just hope that their new future ally will be a little less problematic than everyone else in the camp.

Yandere!Maomao X Reader X Yandere!Jinshi Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere! tw: Jealousy (nothing special anymore)

Part one, Part two

The Letter

"New day – new achievements," you thought as you stepped into the pharmacy at the start of the day. Maomao greeted you. Jinshi and Gaoshun were there as well. You flashed a sly smile at everyone present. Today, you were going to do something that would change your friends' lives forever.

The presence of the harem overseer today was nothing unusual. Once again, Maomao was assisting him with an investigation. You didn't bother with the details. Their cases usually involved deaths and had a rather gloomy air about them.

Maomao was silently jotting down notes when Jinshi, who had been watching her, decided to break the silence. "Are you always this serious?" he asked with a faint smirk.

You perked up your ears.

"Unlike some people, I prefer to work rather than waste time on idle chatter," Maomao replied without looking up.

Jinshi chuckled. "Maybe you should finally try taking a break? They say it helps keep you from going insane with your own thoughts," he mused before shifting his attention to you and winking. Your breath hitched. He smugly thought himself charming for managing to fluster you without even trying.

But you weren’t thinking about him at all. You were busy coming up with a name for the kitten they would surely get once they ended up together.

"Better to go mad from thoughts than from stupidity."

You barely hold back a laugh, covering your face with the wide sleeve of your robe. Watching them is better than any romance novel all the harem girls are obsessed with these days.

Maomao notices your strange expression. She’s about to ask if you’re feeling alright but gets distracted by a servant entering the pharmacy. Not the one you had secretly made arrangements with the day before. But in his hands is the letter.

So, everything should be fine… Right?

No.

He hands the letter to you. The letter that was meant for Maomao.

"This is for you," the servant says obligingly.

"Are you sure?" you ask, alarmed, trying to send him a desperate signal with your twitching eye in a Morse code that has yet to be invented.

But the man nods coolly, shoves the letter into your hand, and leaves—abandoning you to the hell of your own making.

"It must be something important," Maomao says, setting her work aside as she approaches you with interest.

"Oh. No. I'm sure it's something silly," you laugh nervously, trying to hide the letter. But Jinshi gently—yet insistently—plucks it from your grasp.

"I shall read it!" he declares grandly and begins reciting the love letter aloud.

You are utterly mortified, wishing you could burn to ashes on the spot.

"…You have captured my heart."

Jinshi finishes with far less enthusiasm than he started.

"An anonymous love confession," Maomao summarizes dryly.

"Who wrote this?!" Jinshi exclaims, unusually agitated.

"Why are you so flustered?" Maomao glares at him from under her lashes, looking as if she's already considering which poison could take him out without raising suspicion. "Were you planning to confess yourself?"

"I just want to know who dared to write this to my— I mean, our… dear acquaintance," Jinshi barely corrects himself, too upset to choose his words carefully.

"It’s probably just a mistake," you blurt out in panic. Because if Maomao decides that this letter was meant for you from Jinshi… your days are numbered.

"This could be a conspiracy," Maomao concludes, finding her own logic perfectly reasonable.

"A conspiracy?!"

"Yes. To lure them into a meeting and rob them. Or interrogate them. She's connected to you, after all."

At this point, Gaoshun decides to step in.

"I still think… it's just a letter."

You're this close to bursting into tears. Here he is—your savior, the most reasonable of men. But, of course, no one except you is paying him any attention.

"We should interrogate that servant."

"We’ll wait for the sender to reveal themselves."

"NO ONE is going to reveal themselves! Because this was obviously not meant for me!" you shout at them in pure desperation.

The two paranoid lunatics finally fall silent. But not for long.

"Fine. But I’m still going to keep an eye on you. For your own safety," Jinshi says, reaching out in an attempt to touch your face.

A loud slap echoes through the pharmacy. Maomao has smacked his hand away. You feel your soul leave your body.

"Watch over them? What are you, some kind of pervert? I will be watching you—to make sure you don’t do anything stupid," she declares, wrapping her arms around you protectively, shielding you from the dangerous man.

"Enough!" Gaoshun’s patience finally snaps.

This time, the sheer authority in his voice forces the pair to pay attention. The room settles into silence.

"I’ll take the letter to confirm whether it was truly delivered to the right place. You all—get back to work. We don’t have all day, Master Jinshi."

Before leaving, Gaoshun casts a disapproving look your way.

You realize—he knows. You don’t have to worry. He’s got your back. But that doesn’t make you feel any less mortified. You should get him a gift to thank him for the trouble. Maybe then, the emperor will take pity on you and have you executed for something.

"Haha… funny how these things happen," you laugh nervously.

Neither Maomao nor Jinshi are willing to let you go just yet. They seat themselves beside you, one on each side, and begrudgingly return to work.

"The letter idea wasn’t so great after all," you admit to yourself in silent defeat.

Can you please do a platonic Yandere Adrien, Luca and Marinette. 🙏

Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere!

Pairing: Yandere! Marinette x Reader, Yandere! Adrien x Reader, Yandere! Luka x Reader

tw: disturbing thoughts, blackmail, manipulation, threats

Hope you like it~ Thank you very much for waiting ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

I also want to belatedly congratulate everyone on Valentine's Day. Wishing you more love this year. And may our beloved non-existent characters always be in our hearts! ( ╥ω╥ )

MARINETTE

-Her obsession with Adrien fades into the background. Now she is more preoccupied with your friendship. Marinette is always there. Joint study tasks, creative projects, walks, family games (You are part of her family. Dupain-Cheng family loves you). She sometimes feels insecure, so she is very jealous. Will do her best to push all your friends away from you (and from her, if necessary). To achieve the goal, she is ready to deviate from the principles and to use the Miraculouses for selfish purposes.

-You are not only her friend, but also a muse. She loves to sew outfits for you and give you other handmade gifts. All her notebooks are filled with drawings of you. You will have to be a model for all her projects. If you don't want, she will find a way to convince you (Will it be a cookie bribe or a threat to friends? You choose :) ).

-You (yet) can't spend every second with her. Marinette feels uncomfortable being alone, therefore, at such moments, she needs confirmation of your friendship. Usually these are millions of joint photos, paired pendants and your gifts for her. She keeps all the valuables in plain sight. It reminds her of you.

-Even when she becomes a Guardian to the Miracle Box, there's no way you'll get one. No. It's too dangerous. Sometimes she wants to give up everything in order to have more time for you. But she understands that then the threats will not disappear, and she will no longer be able to protect you.

ADRIEN

-His biggest fear is to scare you away, so Adrien is very careful. It will be difficult for you to notice his strange behavior. If suspicions arise, he will definitely remind you of his loneliness and poor socialization (Is it wrong to be so clingy? Oh, sorry, he didn't know, because he had few friends since childhood. He does not know how to properly behave with them. You don't want to date today? Father recently also broke a promise to spend the day together. You shouldn't leave him, because you are friends).

-Adrien is rich and generous. His gifts will be uncomfortably expensive. You will get everything that you have long wanted (He remembers what you're talking about), designer things (It reminded him of you), an offer to travel with him for work in another city/country (It's alright as long as you don't interfere with work. One gets bored. And together you can walk around the neighborhood together).

-Probably admits that he is Chat Noir. Adrien trusts you completely and doesn't want to keep secrets from you. Lets you get the most out of it. Do you want a joint photo with the hero to brag to everyone? Certainly. Anything for his dear friend.

-He allows you to communicate with other people. The guy is sure that you will return to him. If anyone gets too arrogant, Adrien will pay them to leave. If they refuse the offer... Adrien will find another way to get rid of them. In the meantime, you are crying on his shoulder, the guy will smile with satisfaction. He did a great job "clearing" his best friend's life of bad people.

LUKA

-Soft but tenacious yandere. He also tries to spend all his free time with you. First of all, he tries to captivate you with creativity. He will teach you how to play the guitar if you're interested. He will invite you to write songs together if you play any instrument. Offers to combine your two different hobbies (Hey. You can sew/draw/knit/sculpt while he plays). Starts working more to be able to take you to cafes and shops. He will find the most picturesque places in Paris to invite you for a walk there. He will make you friends with his family so that you often want to visit them all.

-Luka tries to respect your personal space. He really tries. But it is vital for him to touch you. It's comforting. Be prepared to hug and hold hands. If you are uncomfortable, he will offer alternative options: you can clasp your little fingers or he will hold on to the strap of your bag/your sleeve while you are walking.

-If you ask him if he hears your music, he will play it with pleasure. However, sometimes he refuses. At such moments, instead of the usual favorite melody, Luka hears something disturbing. He starts thinking about your friendship. Is it normal to feel this way towards you? Friends shouldn't be obsessed with each other... right? But then he distracts himself from these thoughts. No. Everything is fine. He's just worried about you. Friends are supposed to take care of each other. He sincerely loves you and wants only the best for you. Today is just a hard day. He will take you for ice cream.

-Luka doesn't like it when you hang out with someone else, but he handles it with patience. He thinks he has no right to isolate you. Tries to adjust the situation so that you do not meet alone with other friends. He doesn't need you to get too close to someone else. Of course, chat with this person, but Luka will be there. Do you want to meet someone? He can also invite his friends. In a big company it will be much more fun. Did you meet someone on the street? Just say hello and leave. You hurry.

- Luka is a non-confrontational person. He will not arrange loud quarrels if he does not like something. But he has learned to skillfully manipulate you. His advice seems so right. Everything he tells you makes sense. So, just thank Luka for taking care of you. He is a truly valuable friend.

Hi sweetie!😊

May I request a scenario with yandere! Luka where he finds out that his crush is being bullied by Lila?

Good luck😉😘❤️

Hi. Thanks~ :3

Please do not read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere!

Pairing: Yandere! Luka Couffaine x Reader

tw: threats, the pursuit, too sexy luka (ahaha)

- Finding a common language with peers is not easy. Especially when they are all opposed to you.

-Lila transferred to your class half a year ago, and quickly drove everyone under the heel.

-At some point, the girl decided that she didn’t like you. Was it because you look like someone from her past, or she just didn't like your sweater. You don't know.

-First, she stole your friends. Lying in bed on rare sleepless nights, you wondered if they were ever your friends, if they so easily abandoned a long-standing friendship.

- Then there were unpleasant rumors. Some of the students started laughing behind your back.

-After this bullying became physical. A rough push in the crowd, garbage in the locker, spilled juice on a blouse, outright ridicule. They didn't even try to pretend it was an accident.

-The actions were getting bolder, so you were not surprised when one day, you were cornered. Lila came into view.

-"Your groveling was pretty funny. But I'm sick of it. I want you to get out of my school away."

-Lila raised her hand to slap. You shrank and closed your eyes, but there was no blow.

-"What's going on here?"

- A familiar voice sounded. Luka intervened in the conflict. He squeezed Lila's hand so hard it almost turned white. The criminals cringed under the guy's evil gaze. Lila opened her mouth, trying to pour out another lie, but she was immediately interrupted.

- "If I ever see any of you next to her, I will cut off each of your rotten hands."

-Luka lets go of Lila. She habitually wants to throw something that he will have problems due to threats. But she realizes that she can't even move. Who is he? His fearful aura filled the air. She glances into his eyes and realizes that he is not joking. And Lila quickly runs away with the others, hoping never to meet him again.

-You look at them in confusion, after which you break down. A sob erupts from your throat, and tears begin to flow from your eyes. You are immediately drawn into a comforting warm embrace.

-When emotions subside, he grab you by the hand and take you somewhere. Luka says that he decided to meet you because lately you have been acting strange. He felt that something was wrong. And he was damn right.

- The guy throws his jacket over your trembling shoulders. On the way, you stop at a store to get your favorite snacks. Luka asks you to stay the night with him.

-He says that Juleka and Anarka miss you and would be glad to see you. He says that being alone when parents are on a business trip is not the best idea.

-You quickly relax, wipe your wet cheeks with your sleeve. The pleasant smell of the jacket surrounds you. Thoughts about Luka's family are warm. And you somehow lose sight of his previous threat to your offenders and the fact that you never told him about your parents' business trip.

-Luka walked and thought about Lila. Yes, she is unlikely to come close to you again. But she still has to answer for what she managed to do. No one dares to offend his girl.

😂😂😂😂omg !! Love the Yandere incorrect quotes ! Yan Adrien is a himbo , yan Luka is baby ! And Yan Mari hun your yandereness is showering ! (Also just read your yandere luka story , it was great can’t wait to see what else you have planned !) ♥️

Oh i'm so excited! Thanks for your feedback. This is very valuable to me~ ╰(▔∀▔)╯

To be honest, I have no special plans. I'm just writing something that I think is missing. (Yandere miraculous ladybug is definitely missing (」°ロ°)」)

But there is something in stock. With Chat Noir. I'll be happy to share, but give me a little time to finish this.

Please don't read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere!

Pairing: Yandere! Joseph Seed x Reader

tw: Joseph Seed (yeah), forced retention, forced drug use, obsessive behavior

You open your eyes and look around in fear. Head is pounding with pain. Green particles fly in the air like dust. You are surrounded by the sugary sweet smell of unknown plants.

Someone's hand rests on your head. Touch is comforting.

"Don't be afraid, child. You're safe."

You tried to remember where you heard that voice before. But consciousness slips away and you fall asleep again.

Joseph gently pats your shoulder and covers you with a blanket. He looks at you longingly.

The next time you wake up, it's night outside. There is one candle burning on the bedside table. This is the only light source in the room. You feel a little better. Consciousness cleared up. Memories flash: a trip to Montana, a strange cult, creepy Joseph Seed, Peggy's car accident.

"Did you wake up." - Damned Joseph enters the room. You're angry at his people. If they weren't so stupid, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. Now your car is broken, and you are unknown where. He hands you a glass of water. You almost want to throw it back in his face, but the only thing stopping you is the terrible thirst. You drink to the bottom. The water has a strange taste.

"I need to go home." You try to get up, but the man doesn't allow it. He holds you in place, painlessly but firmly. His strange gaze stops at your bare shoulder. The shirt slipped off while you were sleeping. You're embarrassed, not in the most pleasant way.

"Honey, you're home." Joseph speaks so confidently that you almost believe him. He is convinced that this is where you belong. The man turns his gaze into your eyes. Your stomach turns. You're about to throw up.

"No." You freeze like a frightened fawn, but still try to argue.

Joseph sighs heavily. "My love, this is your home now."

You're terrified. Only God knows what this madman came up with.

The man puts you back into bed. Your eyes begin to droop. You are falling asleep.

"Sweet Dreams dear. I will wait for the day when you voluntarily join my flock. Then we will walk through the Eden's Gate together."

Joseph sits down on the chair next to you, carefully takes your hand in his and begins to pray.

Witcher's Kitchen

Geralt X Reader tw: no It can be read in both a romantic and a platonic context. A reader from the real world has ended up in the world of The Witcher. They have been traveling with Geralt for some time now. He keeps an eye on them, though not entirely by choice, and has promised himself to leave them in the next big city as soon as they get there. But for now... he needs to finish his latest monster contract and find them some dinner.

You sat in front of the fire, watching the venison with a focused gaze. A decent chunk of meat was skewered on a thin but sturdy branch. You turned it slowly, without much enthusiasm. It was well-cooked and smelled delicious. And yet… it tasted awful. So unbearably bland.

Of course, you weren’t ungrateful. Back when you first ended up in this world, wild game had seemed like the most precious, the most sacred food imaginable. You had spent days wandering the forest, starving and freezing, before Geralt found you and shared his meal. At that moment, you had been ready to fall to your knees and weep in gratitude for his kindness.

Time passed. One forest blurred into another. Along the way, you had come across only a handful of half-ruined villages, where even the locals barely scraped by. With no other options, you had clung to the Witcher with a death grip, begging him to take you at least to the first major city.

Since then, every meal had been the same—chewing on bland meat, washing it down with whatever was available, occasionally gnawing on stale bread if you were lucky. And all the while, you longed for the flavors of your world. You dreamed of spices, of anything that could make this food taste better. Day after day.

To be fair, Geralt was partly to blame. If he fed you a little less often, maybe you wouldn’t have grown so picky. Not that you’d ever say that out loud.

Speaking of Geralt… You shifted your gaze to him. He was busy sharpening his swords. A pang of guilt tightened in your chest. He wasn’t a terrible cook. If anything, you were nothing more than a stranger to him. A burden. And yet, he still looked after you in his own way. He was just practical—doing the bare minimum to survive, never bothering with small comforts. You were willing to bet he’d eat rocks if they were edible and provided energy.

But you couldn’t keep going like this. Something had to change. It was time to take responsibility—for the first time since you arrived in this world.

Taking a deep breath, you spoke up. “Hey, Geralt. Can I do the cooking tomorrow?”

Geralt gave you a mildly surprised but still characteristically grim look. After an unreasonably long pause, he finally replied.

“Do what you want.”

Then he went back to his task. You exhaled in relief.

Why did this man have to be so intimidating? Would he die if he let himself relax for just one second?

Shaking off your thoughts, you focused on the small victory—though calling his agreement a “victory” was a stretch. The real challenge still lay ahead.

----

It must be admitted, this village is much livelier than all the previous ones. This time, you and Geralt didn't settle in some inn. The witcher stated that you would set up camp not far from the village. You didn’t ask questions. You had enough time to learn not to meddle in his affairs.

Since your conversation yesterday, you and Geralt hadn’t crossed paths. He left early in the morning for a hunt, leaving you a small pouch of orens for your needs. That, along with the market being within walking distance, was precisely why you decided to take on your difficult task.

People bustled around the marketplace, immersed in their own concerns. You examined the stalls. Choosing the least predatory-looking vendor—a sweet old lady—you approached her. You had to be careful in matters like these. There were no friends in the marketplace. Every merchant was ready to sink their claws into a lost traveler and take their last coins in exchange for an onion. The medieval world was cruel.

The old woman, delighted by the attention, immediately began offering you everything she had while simultaneously asking about the witcher you had recently been seen with. (Oh, this curiosity. How many rumors would spread about you today?) You quickly adjusted the conversation, steering it in the direction you needed. The old woman didn’t even notice how she started telling you about all the spices available in the market, where to buy them cheaper, what could be used for which dish, and even mentioned which herbs grew in the area and how to add them to food to make it more aromatic and flavorful.

After getting all the information, and buying a couple of vegetables, you set off in search of the spices, feeling triumphant. Aside from that, it wouldn’t hurt to find a cooking pot. Geralt’s inventory lacked such an item. He had grumbled that some damned drunkards had stolen his bag with the pot while he was busy. Apparently, they had hoped for something more valuable inside.

Some time later, you returned to camp—filled with a pleasant sense of accomplishment but with a sadly empty purse. Pleasure came at a price.

You laid out the ingredients near the extinguished fire. If you used everything as sparingly as possible, it should last a week. The shiny new pot gleamed playfully. All you lacked now was a cookbook with local recipes. But finding one in a tiny village was impossible. And books in this world were rather expensive.

Relying on your modest, yet not entirely nonexistent, cooking skills, you swore that tonight, Geralt would taste the most delicious venison stew of his life. You would make this man thank the gods for crossing paths with you.

---

Geralt sat behind you, unusually impatient. He hadn’t said a word since he arrived, but you noticed his leg bouncing nervously. A magical aroma surrounded your camp.

You gave the stew one last stir, scooped some up, and filled a bowl for Geralt. He accepted the food with a grateful nod.

“Didn’t think you were serious yesterday.”

“I’m full of surprises,” you winked at him, taking a portion for yourself.

You had worried that cooking in such rough conditions would be a challenge, but your frequent observations of Geralt preparing meals had helped you adapt quickly. Cooking turned out to be unexpectedly relaxing. It gave you a sense of purpose, usefulness, and control over at least one part of this new life. On the road, you couldn’t fight monsters or earn coin, but you could make the journey a little more comfortable.

“Well? What do you think?”

“It’s really good. Thank you.”

As always, Geralt was a man of few words. But judging by the way he looked, the warm, hearty meal had made him a little less brooding.

You smiled happily, proud of your work.

Geralt thought that maybe… he could get used to this.

---

You and the witcher quickly settled into a new routine. He handled his usual work, while you took care of the cooking. It didn’t just add variety to your diet—it became a kind of care that Geralt initially saw as an unnecessary luxury. But despite his views, he grew used to it. Eventually, he even started grumbling from time to time, "What’s for dinner tonight?"

You kept learning about the local cuisine, interacting with merchants and healers, asking chatty villagers for advice, and even striking up conversations with bored-looking prostitutes. Surprisingly, many of them could have been excellent homemakers if life had turned out differently.

One day, Jaskier, wandering the world in search of inspiration for his ballads, stumbled upon your camp. He couldn’t help but appreciate your efforts. Encouraged by a delicious dinner and fueled by the ever-spreading rumors, he nearly turned your care into a grand romantic tale.

Geralt, however, swiftly shut him down with a dry threat: if the bard kept it up, he’d be left hungry next time. Faced with the choice between poetry and a juicy rabbit stew with vegetables, Jaskier wisely prioritized his meal, shifting his repertoire back to harmless songs about the heroic witcher and his mysterious companion.

Relaxed by the friendly atmosphere, you realized how much joy it brought you to see your cooking make life a little better for your companions—even if they didn’t always say it out loud.

Jaskier, being himself, couldn’t stay quiet for long. He interrupted your thoughts with a dramatic sigh:

“Ah, if someone cooked for me like this, I might even consider becoming a witcher myself!”