Honestly The Longer I’m In Fandom The More I Think The Really Important Question Isn’t “what Do

The absolute BEST Harry Potter fanfic I have ever read in my LIFE is "Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce".

It has Chef Gordan Ramsey (Hufflepuff) coming to Hogwarts to be Potions Master in Harry's 6th year. It sounds like it should be a silly crack fic but I swear to you on my love of stories that this shit will have you hooked.

If you ever loved the Harry Potter series and felt betrayed by J. K. Rowling's words and actions, please read this fic. It reminded me so much of WHY I found such comfort in Harry Potter. It brought me back to staying up late on school nights and talking with my friends. It brought me back to being young and learning friendship lessons from fictional books. It brought back screaming in rage into a pillow, and tears at 2am, and the deep grief that comes from having loved a person, real or not, so much.

I revisit this fic about once a year. It's intense. It's wonderful. I just felt the need today to scream that adoration into the Tumblr void; maybe it can help somebody else.

There are lots of fics about Batman being a bat shifter or being magically turned into a bat. I think there should be more of them. And that they should feature more confused bats swimming in the wet air.

Today's the anniversary.

Goodbye Jaybin, you were a goddamn delight.

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

I bet he only really had a contingency plan for Damian just as a therapy thing. Like how some people write fanfiction. Everyone else's plans was the equivalent of "meme on them", "join them", or "pretend I'm Batman trying to talk Superman out of mind control (again) (wear chapstick, this could get gay)"

Tim Drake (1998): I don't make contingency plans because I have friends, unlike Batman who is a friendless loser

Tim Drake (2009): My contingency plans have contingency plans

I read a post earlier and then lost it before I could reblog it with some interesting information so I'm gonna throw the information out into the void.

The original post was a comment about how no one who has ever inked a comic has ever met a person of color before. They had very valid complaints about bad shading and inconsistent skin tones.

And y'all know me. I am a fiend for comic industry history.

Color in comics is obviously a huge deal, not just in skin but for iconic costume designs. The oldest and most well-known characters tend to be bright shades of red, blue, green and/or black. This is true across the board in early comics and it's due to a variety of factors. The biggest one being that most comics, to be made cheaply, could only use around 63 colors for a standard issue. On top of that, the way the DC and Marvel printed their comics was basically with pointillism and shifting densities.

Before I wind up regurgitating the whole article, let me link one of my go-to resources.

WWAC

4 Colorism, or, the Ashiness of it All - WWAC %

Zoe D. Smith looks at the printing process for comics in the 1960s and 70s and how that affected portrayals of black characters in Marvel an

And

WWAC

4 Colorism, or, White Paper/Brown Pixels - WWAC %

Zoe D. Smith looks at the printing process for comics in the 1960s and 70s and how that affected portrayals of black characters in Marvel an

Actually, womenwriteaboutcomics.com in general is a fantastic educational tool and a great way to keep an eye out for opportunities to submit your own comic story submissions.

Thanks for letting me nerd out about comic history again!

Hey, where are my DC x DP people at?

What if Jason came back wrong because the GIW had his little ghost self captured for 6 months?

Imagine it. The warehouse in Ethiopia happens to be on some powerful crossing leylines and a GIW agent is stationed to keep an eye on the area. She sees the Joker and his men. She sees Robin enter the building. Maybe the place is bugged and she even knows what's happening and she realizes... This is their chance. The GIW could get data on a ghost as it forms! This is unprecedented!

So, she waits and watches and records data.

And when the warehouse explodes, when the Batman has come and gone, when the response team has put out the fire... She searches. She finds Robin's ghost as it begins to form. She captures it, the scientific find of the century.

And six months of inhumane, dehumanizing experiments later, the ghost of Robin seems to shred itself as it's ripped violently through all the anti-ecto restraints and containments.

Maybe there's a perfect sphere left behind and Jason doesn't realize that he's missing his core. Maybe the recorded experiment logs are out there, waiting for the right hacker to release them. Maybe Team Phantom rescued the core and are searching for the being it belongs to.

Just some thoughts~

Okay, getting my Asexual-spectrum Batman brainrot in some sort of order, everything is subject to being updated.

This turned out long and rambling, just the way I like it.

My main inspiration for this is a scene from the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy, where Bruce and Alfred are discussing how to reintroduce Bruce into Gotham society. It's been awhile since I saw the film but I'm pretty sure Bruce looks at Alfred and is like, "So, what do young billionaires do that would explain vigilante injuries?" And then the scene cuts to Bruce and two foreign models swimming in a fountain at a fancy restaurant. And I'm like.

Fucking. Alfred. Suggested the himbo thing? Was this a passive-aggressive punishment for fucking off for years that went on for too long?

(I love my main man Mr. Pennyworth, I will meme that he's a saint. In reality, I think he's part of the reason the Robins keep having a terrible time passing on the mantle. I can address my grievances in another post tho.)

So I'm there, thinking about Batman and Bruce and growing up in private schools. I'm in the process of unlearning some damaging information that I was taught as "truth" from my own school days. I'm thinking of Butler Alfred, and his position as caretaker, and how he was raised, and what he would think is appropriate counsel.

When Bruce is hitting puberty and writing love poems to the tune of BeeGees songs to girls in class, how would Alfred handle that? He'd surely have a perfunctory talk with his charge about respecting women, how to be a proper gentleman, safe sex, warnings about people who are out for Bruce's heart as a way to get to his status and fortune.

But would Alfred even think to cover queerness? He surely knows of it, but he's from a generation and culture that is known for stoicism and silence. The generation where one might know a pair of "confirmed bachelors" or "spinster sisters", but one does not mention it in polite company. Perhaps he would decide to have that talk if it ever seems to be necessary.

But would Bruce ever think to ask about why he isn't as interested in sex as seemingly all the people around him? Why wouldn't he chalk that up to his massive trauma and call himself mature for it? And a number of girls would love that maturity, that Ice Prince gentility, that challenge. So he'd learn how to be charming, how to flirt. It's applied psychology to Bruce, it's masking, it's learning how to act like a "normal" human.

It's easy for me to see him continue that trend in his adult life. He is romantic and he isn't sex-repulsed; he matches the flirtation energy of someone and if they both want to have sex, they do. It's kind of fun for him, too, to learn someone's body and use his to make them feel so good.

It's just that, sex is just a mutual workout? And he legitimately enjoys doing other things together equally or more, like actual workouts or sparring or casework. Bruce will initiate sex if he picks up his partner's cues, but by the time he's comfortable enough with them to relax... He's just not in clue-finding mode. So partners become understandably annoyed. Upset. They feel like they're the ones putting in all the effort to keep the relationship alive and Bruce doesn't have the knowledge or words to explain his position.

So yeah, there are jokes about Batman being easy, jokes about his history of romantic relationships with rogues, civilians, and heroes alike. He's just doing what he thought was normal. Flirting back, following the other person's lead, matching the energy. It frustrates him when he thinks about it, because it's just another way he's Different and Broken and Missing Something that the rest of the world seems to understand on a basic level.

(To be firm: Bruce Does Not Match the energy of everyone who flirts with him. He is an adult and has his own tastes. He's got Polite Flirting, Interested Flirting, and Gray Rocking down pat.)

Truly, this is the DC artists giving us a cheeky wink and a nod that not only do Tim and Bernard do freaky rooftop sex, they do freaky sideways building sex.

Every time a Gothamite tweets about seeing Batman and Catwoman getting frisky on a roof, Tim and Bernard one-up them. Pretty soon Gotham is like "BatCat, who? Red Robin and Tuxedo Maskless over there are doing things that defy both physics and public decency laws"

DC needs to give Tim Drake either an age-up + a new suit, or, give him the most badass, diabolical villain arc known to man.

(<i>Hi, I’m the written half of this freeform collab with @dahtwitchi, putting my side up with very little working knowledge of how to Tumblr</i>)

(Sugar!Madara is offering to make out with his alternates to encourage the Tobis to do the same, because he is a shameless perv. His younger self approves of this plan)

"They seem to be enjoying the view." Sugar!Tobirama raises his eyebrow at the toothy grin his boyfriend sends his way. Bluntly, he warns his other selves, 

"...My Madara is probably going to try to start something again; he has a _thing_ for shadow clone sex."

"...Shadow clones of _us_?" The younger Sugar version sounds dubious and Tobirama shrugs, remembering how strange it felt to have some so obviously appreciate his unusual appearance.

"He thinks we're pretty."

This post will be updated now and then, so reblogged versions will get out of date

MASTERPOST for the mixupAU sketches (with #2)

#1 #3, 4 & 5 #6, 7 & 8 #9 #10, 11 & 12 #13 #14 #15, 16 & 17 #18, 19 & 20 #21, 22 & 23

TBC? Probably. Possibly. Sometime.

(sorry, but I wont be turning this into something that makes more sense ^^;;; I’m just posting my part to share art rather than story x3 freeform collab with @donkoogrr‘s sugarverse MadaTobis. So there is a random meet up of pre-sugarverse Madra&Tobirama, current-ish sugarverse Madara&Tobirama, and my gardenverse Madara&Tobirama that are actually 6 years into the future versions of cockblockverse Madara&Tobirama. Are you properly confused trying to keep them apart now? Good, because it’s a mess keeping track of who is who x’D)