Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”

Nick Fury’s Flashback 

Damian is not above using his status as Baby to get what he wants. At the same time, the Bats know that their littlest family member using his power (rare though it may be) is a sign of affection. Nobody says anything because Damian feeling comfortable enough to act his age (even if it is a manipulation tactic) means he trusts them.

Also? It’s fucking adorable.

Bruce is a man of principles and discipline, but he’s ready to shave his head and steal Lex Luthor’s identity no questions asked when Damian silently crawls into his lap. He was on a shareholders videoconference the first time the boy did it. No amount of money, notoriety, or achievements will ever compare to Damian laying his head on his father’s chest, sighing quietly, and closing his eyes peacefully as board members oohed and awwed. Screenshots went viral almost immediately. #BabyWayne trended for weeks.

Bruce booked them a trip to Chicago to see the new tiger exhibit at the zoo that Damian had mentioned over breakfast. He absolutely knew he’d been had and oh fucking well.

Then Damian does it again. And again and again, with no ask beforehand. When Bruce finally asked what was going on, the littlest Wayne said he was cold and simply required a heat source. Bruce pressed a kiss to his boy’s hair and read the quarterly reports over his head. And then took him out for new art supplies. And got him a pet lizard. And some ice cream. And yes, Alfred, I have a problem, but look at him! 🥹

Joker would 100% do it for the vine

if jason todd were to start going round with a petition to make batman kill the joker i think he would have all of gotham on board within three days, and i also believe theres a 99% chance the joker would sign this petition himself, just to see how batman responds

jason: technically this isn't murder it's assisted suicide

bruce: what the fuck is happening right now why are you two together

jason: morbid curiosity

joker: just wanted to see what you'd do

Why is Enji built like a semi truck?

Todoroki family shopping day by Ryosuke Takeuchi

I'm not crying you're crying

Uncanny X-Men #6 - "The Change in Ourselves" (2024)

written by Gail Simone art by Javier Garron & Matthew Wilson

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).

Tim: *scrolling through the batfamily tag*

Tim: Wrong.

Tim: Wrong.

Tim: Incomprehensibly wrong.

Tim: Wrong but harmless.

Tim: Nice style and color palette but I don't care about the Superbat ship.

Tim: Mildly entertaining liveblog update.

Tim: They whitewashed my sibling. :(

Tim: Good joke, reblog.

Tim: Wro— well that's my boyfriend so I will politely look away.

Tim: Fifteen posts in a row by an innocent Teen Titans RP blog that I don't have the heart to block.

Tim: Take I agree with but Jason was the OP and annoying about it.

Tim: Chapter twenty-eight of Duke's longfic WIP!

Tim: GOOD POST! Instafollowed.

Tim: Bot.

Tim: Technically correctly tagged but uses this acronym for something completely different.

Tim: Museum-worthy art piece by a sixteen-year-old from the Philippines.

Tim: Wrong.

Tim: Wrong but in a new and exciting way that provokes thought.

Batman has a very specific code that's on everyone's communicator that he warns the JL to 'Never tap into it unless I'm indisposed and the world is 2 seconds away from ending'

Fast forward a few years and batman is knocked out cold and the world is 2 seconds away from ending when one JL member rmbers batman's 'very important do not tap unless absolutely necessary' button

So obviously the JL taps it expecting some god or smth and who else picks up but a woman who's simultaneously yelling commands,tapping aggressively at what they assume to be a keyboard and calmly telling them that she's Oracle,that she's already linked every person on the battlefield's comms to the 'batfamily comms'(direct wording) and that she's sending reinforcements as they speak

Then,while the JL is still in shock,Red Hood the fucking drug lord lands beside them and starts shooting up enemies,Nightwing is futher back backflipping,Red Robin is doing his shit

A mysterious black cowled girl pops up beside them and starts gently telling(ordering) them to specific parts of the battlefield(Hal gets so spooked he screams),a fully purple girl is beating enemies up next to them,a guy in neon yellow is punting enemies to the ground.

And some random ass 10 y/o is screaming bloody murder as he incapcitates enemies thrice his size

Edit: in case people don't see my reblog about it,i've been seeing a bunch of reblogs/comments about seeing this post on tiktok,tiktok is banned where I'm at so it's definitely not me,so do me a favor and report them thank you ( ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ )

(also you can use this post as a prompt,but please credit me thanks ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ)

Dick, texting Wally: hey, patrol kinda boring tonight, do you want to play 20 questions?

Wally: yeah sure man, what's your favorite family meal?

Dick: triangles.

Dick: do you like boys?

Wally: yeah.... I... Came out to you first...

Dick: just checking. You free on Friday?

Wally: yeah?

Dick: good, I'll pick you up at 12. Bye.

Wally: ... Okay but our game? Hello??

Outside of the texts

Dick: I asked him out.

Barbara: saw, you technically didn't but better than you pinning for him all day. Good luck.

Dick: don't need it, I'm Dick Grayson, I got this.

Bruce: oh no, you don't, I said the same thing, you're gonna fail bud.

Dick, looks at Bruce funny: you are bad a pep talks.

Allen-west house hold

Wally: MOMMA HOW DO I KNOW HE ASKED ME OUT OR NOT!?

Iris, from the kitchen: WHAT THE TEXT SAY SWEETHEART?

Wally: IT SAYS "good, I'll pick you up at 12"!

Iris: HE'S TAKING YOU OUT ON A DATE BUT SHY A OUT IT! DRESS CASUAL.

Wally: THANKS MOMMA!

Barry: WHY NOBODY YELLING FOR ME FOR DATING ADVICE!

Wally: BECAUSE MOMMA FLIRTERD WITH YOU THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU WERE STUCK IN YOUR OWN HEAD, I NEED HELP NOT MORE PROBLEMS AND QUESTIONS!

Barry:

Barry: FAIR, ALSO WHY ARE YOU YELLING FROM YOUR BEDROOM YOU COULD HAVE SPEED DOWN HERE!

Wally: BECAUSE I'M EMBARRASSED!

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad