I Love Being Able To Be Honest Here. For Better And For Worse This Platform Has More Honest Self Expression

Each of my hundred of failed attempts to write a story is actually a lesson in motivation, a lesson in mistakes. My art grows with me. And the reason i have so much growing to do is because of all the places I wanna go. I have a lifetime to figure this out.

I still need practice for anatomy but I was otherwise happy with this drawing. I saw a pretty inspiring post on here about a woman who naturally grew facial hair and learned to embrace it. I thought Applejack would be a good canidate to draw her like that. I expanded upon that to make her a transwoman who kept her facial hair after transitioning. I used reference images of real transfem powerlifters. This applejack uses She/They pronouns. She still works at the farm she just also does Powerlifting competitions as a hobby. I envision her here as a mule instead of a pony. Planning on making more art of her including spicy variants. Any art tips/constructive critiscm is not only welcome but deeply appreciated. Thank you to everyone whose already shown my blog support, I love your blogs too :3

Love Wind

I'm so afraid. I can hardly stand. My legs shiver, like im gonna pee blood. But nothing comes out, not even anything. The meds are surpressing what they are supposed to, i am not doing okay but im doing fine.

Im free.

Free to the world and to the winds of love, I fucking hate wearing underwear when i wear a dress. I fucking hate adult clothes, id rather have a blanket or a robe. I'd rather you just not look at me at all if you dont like me. I want you to worship me, and in turn ill give you everything i have left. Id kiss you but my mouth is so dry, spironolactone. Im spirling, i want to be null, i want you to act like you cant live without me and take me without me having to ask.

Id tell you I love you but im tone deaf, I cant hear my own thoughts over the depression and sadness. Just fuck it out of me. Make me regret taking you in my mouth. Make me atone for my sins and I'll call you daddy, because your my only daddy problem.

POV your on a date with me

"Yeah so Gastrodon was introduced in gen 4 of pokemon but technically it was initially in development to be added into gen 3. Its a sea slug, thought to be based on the Nudibranch by some, including myself. Oh, did I never talk to you about Nudibranches? Oh they are fantastic lil guys! There so colorful, and theres so many different kinds. Actually hold on...here ya go. What? Yeah I do keep a stack of polaroids of Nudibranches on me at all times, why do you ask? Anyway they are supercool, they have powers sort of like pokemon. They can absorb plant cells and photosynthesize, isn't that wild? I think it would be cool if GameFreak gave Gastrodon Solar Beam to reflect that, dont you? Oh yeah and because Gastrodon is a Water/Ground type it has only one weakness to grass. Granted a 4 times weakness can be really bad grass isnt the worst thing to be weak to. You can cover for that on your team perfectly with a fire/flying type. Of course then you have to worry about getting your ass beat by stealth rock, but you can play around that too. I mean Cynthia's considered one of the strongest champions in the mainline games and she has a Gastrodon on her team, or at least she does in Pokemon Pearl. Anyway so gastrodon..."

Trans Lugia (WIP)

The story of Lugia is very much tied into the story of their writer, Takeshi Shudô. He was saddened to see the direction they took with Lugia in the film, feeling Lugia was presented in a way too masculine for what he envisioned.

I find myself emotionally invested in Lugias fate, I want to recognize the her inherent...I want to understand the langauge, the words he spoke, as I understand poetry. I find myself wondering, relying on others for her form, her words...am I so helpless to be named man as well after so many years unattested, even if miserable? Did I not bring happiness? Is my childhood not forever a scar? It is too late for Takeshi to change things...at least how I see it. People have moved on. Discussion threads on Bulbapedia are already 12 years old, the links to the translations broken. All I have left is the original japanese blog posts from Takeshi Shudô.

If your reading this and your interested I have included the link. I'd appreciate any feedback on any of the posts, regardless on what they are about. Thanks for reading either way.

Takeshi's blog:

Ratatoiulle 2099: Part Two

I can't even taste it. Its just texture. The eggs are slimy. The peppers are rubbery. My teeth feel just as malleable in my brain, like im biting into my own skull. I should be grateful really. I'm actually fairly lucky to have a rat that compliments my lifestyle. God knows id be a shit cook without one (and lord knows I can't afford a rat cooked meal in a resturant). I guess thats the other thing that pisses me the fuck off. The media praises Remy of old, the first rat to pilot a human. Everyone knows how amazing and wonderful Remy is. It's all lies. Remy became like any other privleged elitist, his meals were never affordable for the common man. I used to love his recipes as a kid, when I turned 10 and I finally got my rat implanted. I was so excited my rat knew how to cook too. But I grow tired of this same bougee omelette. Maybe I wanna march on down to Pops Pancakes and gorge myself on the syrup soaked slappers. Maybe I just fucking will do that...

"Nobody actually remembers the ripenning of course. Its a day lost to history, presumably because the rats had nested into our brains. Personally i prescrive to the theory of the HO1 Waves creating a psychic disturbance across all rats. That they craved intellect as we once did as early humans...but nobody really knows for sure."

-Burt Essner in his book "The Rat Race: How Rats Became One."

Please just write. Love yourself. Live life. Your self advice is that there is no self help advice and we can only exist.

Social Suicide

My life is worthless to you, small and insignificant yet you try so hard to extinguish me. I come out as a furry in high school you say:

Social Suicide

My heart sinks. Have I thrown everything away? Is it my fault I'm a furry? My fault I'm an outcast? My fault I'm autistic? My fault im depressed...its so silly, spoken aloud. My problems, clouds. Soft and dreamy, just a little less sun and im weak and weary...

Social Suicide

They are your words, not mine. So worried of others that you've already died. Maybe you are the one who has killed oneself to fit in? I had no friends then, but when will you have a true friend when your already dead?

Social Suicide

You were just trying to warn me, however misguided...why cant we be carefree...why must we die to belong, to belong inside our own homes, found families, find our own roads? Why can't i let you go? Why cant i commit?

Social Suicide.

If you dont see whats fucked up about this don't follow this blog.

This is allowed at my house if you know me

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this: