Getting Beat And Kicked Down Until I’m Close To An Unrecognizable Mess And Then You Kiss Me Disgustingly

I am so embarrassed that I made a scene and it’s honestly making all of this so much worse. I feel awful and I never want to show my face again

I’m such a fucking loser and I’m fucked up beyond the point of recovery I’ll never get better I’m cursed to be this way forever I hate staying up I hate being alive I need to kill myself I need to fucking kill myself im such a worthless fucking retard oh my god I need to get fucking killed so bad oh my god I fucking hate my boyfriend and my life and my “friends” I hate everything I want to die why the fuck can I not fucking die

I can’t stop asking why without expecting to have answers but I reminded over and over there is only one answer

Despite it all, I still find you beautiful.

I have acceptance and love for you. I don’t want you in my life again, but I cannot erase the memories we shared. There were plenty of pleasant ones, and plenty of terrible ones. I appreciate both, because I was taught a lesson to respect myself more.

I don’t know why I fell so hard for you, but im not complaining. Despite everything, the pain you put me through, every single awful thing I’ve experienced, I still hold you dear in my heart.

I’m not trying to be delusional and wish for you back, or want you to come back and we can be together again. I am not saying I miss your romantically or sexually or anything else. I am saying that our time together was special to me, and I don’t think that’ll be something that ever goes away, and that’s okay. I am lucky to have been the one to go through all of that instead of someone else who couldn’t have handled it.

I’m glad that I have helped you. I am glad that we had time together. I’m sorry it ended the way it did, but im glad it’s over. Thank you, and im sorry

I can’t keep being alive I can’t keep doing this over and over again I just fucking can’t

I don’t have anybody left I am going to die alone

RHAT MOMENT WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE IS NOW NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND ANYMORE AND WILL VERY SHORTLY MOVE ON WITHOUT YOU IN THEIR LIFE😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I will be rid of the world. I will be erased, eradicates, removed, and forgotten about. Everything I’ve done would’ve been for nothing, but I think it is suitable karma for wasting other people’s times and dragging them along by the ankles through Hell. My creations will be destroyed, my legacy will not be enough to be withheld, and everyone can rest in peace knowing they don’t have to deal with it anymore. They can be at peace with themselves without having to adapt to my rapid mood swings and empty threats. Not anymore. It will be what I deserve

Please let me be free

I genuinely need to die