Is This What Bi Panic Is Like? Cause I'm Feeling It 😭

ghost character analysis

tw: spoilers from ghost mw2 comics, nsfw, dead dove do not eat, mature content.

this is pretty much a part 2 to ghost headcanons except with more lore and analysis (im still not sure if reboot ghost has the same backstory as the og ghost).

ghost is not a cold, calculated, ruthless man. maybe in a separate au or something, but theres a huge difference between ghost and simon riley. in fact, we need to understand that the reason he even chose ghost as a new name for himself is because of all that's happened to him. his family got killed, he got tortured by roba, and had to eliminate many men on his own. before that he was simon, not ghost. in the comic he literally calls the child hostages he was saving ‘sweetheart’ and ‘love’. hes not that mean and cold yall

we know that PTSD does shit to it's victims, ghost lost his entire family and had no one. think of it as a coping mechanism to have a new name to be known as.

ghost is a ruthless killer. simon is just some guy.

ghost sets himself to an incredibly high standard of discipline. i think it's intuitive that military boys will need to be punctual and organized to some degree, but ghost takes this to a whole other level. considering his father's abusive behavior (explained by his disturbing statements said to simon, is a drug addict, and beats simons mom) his home life was likely chaotic as a child.

in the mw2: ghost comic (issue #3) it specifically stated the following: "discipline, precision, control. these are what riley built his whole life on. break those down and the dark stuff begins to ooze out..." again, this is probably a form of trauma response to his childhood.

so what does this lead to? well firstly, this probably means his room is incredibly tidy and organized (monotone design i know :,c).

would never in his life touch drugs. this is a promise he made to himself.

also kinda proves that ghost aint a reckless guy. he thinks things through before doing it.

ghost isn’t that hypersexual. theres no way of knowing his history with women, but i like to think ghost is not that horny 24/7 and needs a fuckbuddy. in the mw2 comic, he was on a mission and was in an area full of prostitutes (wasn’t actively on duty, but on his way) when they tried to hit on him he politely rejects one of them, and later tells them to fuck off😀 so yea contrary to popular belief i dont think he really enjoys one night stands or the idea of being entertained by random women. in fact, i hc he might actually be a virgin or just a really low body count.

ghost is a feminist!😁 (misandrist too). ok let me reword that, ghost doesnt like men and respects women. one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to be around prostitutes and do one night stands (his father killed a hooker in front of him, very traumatic) is because he thinks the concept of quick, casual sex is not good for society and dilutes the value of meaningful relationships. but also, remember the discipline, precision, control thing? its apart of his principle. but also, in the comic, sparks (soldier he worked with) knocked out and attempted to rape a woman, ghosts literally looked disgusted and called the police (also why he’d never do that himself, i dont get the hcs that say he does). ghosts seen how his dad treated his mom and absolutely hates abusers. anyways onto misandry—i think ghost internally thinks men are violent and disgusting (ghosts would choose the bear over the man, even though hes a man) mainly because throughout his military career majority of the bad stuff hes seen was done by men, so hes much more relaxed in a room of women vs man. ghost thinks his dad is the epitome of pure evil (canon! he said this to his therapist). this doesn’t mean hes scared or hates all men tho!

ghost isn’t close with 141… including soap. now before you attack me let me explain. sure, he trusts them to some degree, but i dont think they naturally just hangout when they’re not deployed. in the end we need to understand they are SAS soldiers, they are working a real job that mainly consists of them shooting and dismantling others. considering ghosts betrayal in the past (in the comic, a few soldiers ghost previously worked with killed his entire family 😢) he isn’t gonna just trust his teammates because theyre his teammates. im also pretty sure they all live in different cities while not deployed, while also considering the fact that tf141 probably all want to separate their job from their personal lives, which includes co workers. but onto soap, i dont think him and ghost have a deep brotherly relationship. but i think they care about each other, but exchanging some dad jokes and bantering doesn’t mean they’re suddenly soulmates or brothers. think about it… you and you’re co worker joke around sometimes, never hangout outside of work, and now people are shipping you and calling the two of you besties. makes no sense.

ghost is extremely patriotic. in the comic (i reference this way too much but theres SOOO MUCH LORE i recommend reading it) ghost tells his teammates the reason for joining the military: queen and country, right after 9/11. he also said “the world has changed”. interestingly enough army enlistment did actually skyrocketed after 9/11 attacks, ghost was among them. he probably thought ww3 was about to happen, or that ‘theres no more peace’ or whatever. i hc being obsessed with soccer too lmao and getting mad if english teams dont win. also his playful banter with johnny “get us a tea?”. probably very proud of his british heritage.

ghost doesn’t have much friends. hes a really, reallyyyyy lonely guy. i hc him as an introvert in the first place, but trust issues make this worse. in the comic, he was literally in the newspaper for killing his family and then killing himself (he didnt, he was framed that way tho) so its likely most of his formers friends probably think hes dead. ghost likely got some sort of amnesty or exemption from the military after knowing he didn’t actually kill his family, but whats in the news stays true to the public. even if he does have friends he probably doesn’t share feelings with them or form a long term bond.

ghost is extremely cynical. this is obvious tbh, but i think ghost believes hes going to die in the middle of a battlefield, shot or stabbed, a painful death, body left to rot for weeks, and no one to remember him. just like that. and he accepts that fact too.

ghost isn’t a picky eater. growing up in an abusive household where his parents couldn’t hold a stable job, he had to eat what there was. some days he settles for cheap beans and toast and when people call him out for it, he tells em to fuck off😀

ghost is emotionally fucked up, probably kind of depressed. i mean this guys been through hell: got sa’d, buried alive, had to dig through underground dirt and worms with a jawbone, tortured in horrible ways, had his entire family killed, abusive dad, and the weight of his grey morales because he killed lots of people as a soldier. wow! would you look at that list, itd be more strange if he wasn’t emotionally fucked up after was has happened😅. even when tortured, seeing his family dead, ghost was never shown to have cried in the comic. i hc hes emotionally numb. however, i do think hes emotionally MATURE and able to communicate his emotions, but hes still emotionally fucked. for example a scene where he was talking about his experience with roba (guy who tortured ghost) and ghosts father to a therapist. i think ghosts may be traumatized, but this doesn’t stop him from attempting to get help and communicating how he feels and thinks about this world.

BUT WHAT ABOUT AN S/O???

i think ghost is the guy to not have one in the first place. obviously. but i lowkey think if he had one and really liked them, he would commit. in fact i find it hard to imagine hes a player or isn’t serious about relationships. when his brother tommy got addicted to drugs and fucked up his life, simon quit the military until tommy got 100% better and married. yup. he stayed to help him recover, for years. thats how loving and committed this man is🥹🥹.

more random headcanons:

simon prefers dogs over cats because dogs are loyal and stay with you until the end (stereotypically)

hates snakes and spiders

probably wouldn’t do 50/50 on dates, he pays!

avoids saying manchester slang when deployed

drinks and smokes. not always. he’s disciplined but he still does that stuff.. hes a british guy in his 30s whos kinda depressed, grew up with adults around him smoking 24/7, whatd you think😀😀 (its canon that most of tf141 smoke anyway)

listens to 80’s rock music. its canon that his mom enjoys the band siouxsie and the banshees :)), he probs does too

shaves his beard

is actually confident hes not bad looking. dude, hes 6’2, in shape with a jawline🙄

Writing Prompts

It's hard to believe that this is you

It is never supposed to happen this way

Life is harsh, isn't?

I love you. You know that right?

Why do you do this?

Please don't... leave me

Ugh, its hard being you

You are gonna be okay

Know that I am here with you

I'm scared

What should I do?

People in my life left me

You never know what would happen

I'll protect you

They come and go

Nothing lasts forever

I'm so sorry

I'm gonna take care of you

I know its hard

I'll just leave you alone

I'll see you soon

I'll see you on the other side

Don't go

I came for you

I miss you (Y/n or C/n)

LEAVE ME ALONE

Leave me I'm not worth it

Hold my hand

Hug me

Cuddle with me

Lie down with me

Lets see the stars

Come with me

Ugh I'm bored

Shocks its time

AC-HOOO

°yawns°

we should go to bed

I appreciate on what you did (for me)

Listen

I need to talk with you

Hey

Its me

Lets go!

My treat

Don't overworked yourself

You should rest/relax

Don't hurt yourself

Come here

I need to treat your wounds

Rest now or you should rest

Gotta go

I should go

Is that you?

Is that really you? How could you?!

After all this time

All for nothing

It is never easy to let you go

Why does it have to be difficult at times?

Come with me

Lab ya

Luv u

I'm sorry

It all takes a courage to say it

Don't let the fear overcome you

I have to let you go

It is never easy

It wasn't meant to happen this way

Don't die on me, please

Take my hand

Art Lesson: Dips

Depression is a funny thing. 

Mental illness of all sorts is a funny thing. Pops up in all sorts of ways, it likes to when you don’t need it around especially. 

I try to write up art tips for people that are less about Art with a capitol “A” and more about the struggles that crop up within it. Within ourselves. 

A great deal of creatives deal with depression, or with mental illness in general. Anxiety, mood disorders, executive function disorders; it’s alluded to constantly in all sorts of platitudes, to the point that people joke about it. But it’s real. Creatives generally struggle because of the nature of creating. It’s always taxing even when it’s fun, and it can be hard when you feel the constant need to make things, and even worse when you burn out. 

I think it’s important to emphasize that it’s not uncommon to have dips. Dips in mood, dips in perceived artistic skill, dips in interest. 

These are ok. It’s apart of growth, and sometimes it’s unavoidable. Usually it’s inconvenient. 

Dips are natural. You’re not bad at art. You’re not losing your ability to be creative. You are not stupid, you’re not unwanted, you’re not alone. 

Dips can be a sign that we need a break. They can be a sign that we need a challenge. They can be a sign that we need to talk to someone and work on ourselves. They’re never permanent. 

I know I personally struggle with feeling like I’m just not a creative person. I beat myself up because I can’t meet personal deadlines, or I lose engagement with personal projects quickly. 

None of that means I’m a bad artist. It means I have to find frameworks that work for me.

What do you do without people asking you to? What is the work you do just because it feels good to be alive when you’re doing it? 

Maybe it’s working with others? Talking with people? Organizing? Growing things? Relentlessly polishing? Making people laugh? Watching birds? 

It can be a hard question to answer when you’re depressed or having an episode. Hold the question with you though. There are usually moments in the day where the heavy is lighter, and note when that is. Note why that is. 

Being able to incorporate those underlying interests will help you learn the right path. 

For me, it’s helping people. It’s not a cure-all for my problems, but it helps me manage my goals and expectations. If any one person gains something from relating with my work or words, that’s a win. They are my win. 

I know this is meandering and open ended, but I want to relate that having a dip in interest, art, or emotional health is natural. It’s not pleasant, but it’ll pass. Stop for a moment and think about what you’re needing. 

Honestly if you’re having trouble figuring it out, DM me and we can chat about it. I can’t promise answers, but I can hear you out. Sometimes framing your thoughts sets the answer out in front of you. 

Be kind to yourselves. I know you’ll make it. 

The Making Of Jack Morrison.

If you like my art and want to support me, feel free to visit my ko-fi:

https://ko-fi.com/A403144D

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“simon riley would put you in a headlock” “simon riley would be so mean during sex” “simon riley would spit on you and-”

NO, HE WOULD NOT. DON’T LIE. YOU’RE LYING TO THE PUBLIC BECAUSE HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT BE ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

you know his backstory right??? you know his trauma right??? how he was physically, mentally, and sexually abused right??? and we all can assume the number of walls this man has built around himself is astronomical RIGHT???

which is why there is no way on god’s green earth that i believe simon could ever be that cruel with his lover. like, EVER. you broke down every barrier he had, proved every bad thought and insecurity wrong, made him feel strong without his barriers. after that, he wouldn’t be able to even lift a finger against you.

once simon is yours, he is YOURS. there is no question about it, no second thoughts. you fought this hard for him, so he’s giving it all to you. he would never actively try to hurt you. how could he even think of ruining his own piece of heaven?

to me, he isn’t a “i’ll burn the world down for you” kinda guy. he’s a “the world could be burning, and i would still choose you” kinda guy. you’re his ride or die. if he were dying, he would want it to be with his head in your lap, your fingers in his hair, and the only thing in sight being your smile.

and that isn’t to say simon’s a saint. you most definitely still get his sarcasm and dark humor to the MAX, but you get so much more as well. you get his laughter, his gentle touch, his whispers of adoration. you get his back to you as you spoon him from behind, because he’d built a habit of never turning his back to someone. you get to rub moisturizer on his scars, you get to wash away the black paint on his eyes and kiss his weary face whenever he returns from a long mission.

in no life— this or the next— could simon riley ever be cruel to his lover.

but if you asked Ghost for it? completely different story.

Everyone who’s been talking to me knows i’ve been working on this comic about wlws and cats for a while and i’m so so happy it’s finally here!!! :D

idea stolen from this post :’3

they’re beautiful 🥹🙏

lol Soap’s the only one not in his gear, oops 😂 Bro just hopped the call 🤣🤣

Ang Huling El Bimbo the Music: thoughts and feelings

[SPOILER ALERT]

Can I just say I love the subtleness of the musical and how it just tells its message through the storytelling???

It touches a whole lot on the Drug War that the current administration is waging against the poor Filipinos who are more victims than the main perpetrators themselves. The end of AHEB which only shows Joy's death and the subsequent lamentation of her family and old friends as the perpetrator who now holds a political position as a councilor goes scot-free is saddening but feels true with what happens in the Philippines. The people who are at the bottom chain are caught or killed while the ones running things get to sit in their high chair.

I also love how the other three main characters Eman, AJ and Hector represent the three divisions of the Filipino middle class and their actions towards the injustices and aggression Joy, who represents the poor and oppressed, faces tell a lot about their positions and views. When none of them could save Joy from being raped, their actions tell a lot about their position. Their positions in the future also dictates where they came from.

Emman who seems to be part of the lower middle class and is also an activist shouts the hospital, focusing more on comfort although might not do much is the kindest of the choices. Going to the hospital would be a direct action to help Joy who is in distraught atm cope. It's also important to see that although Eman got a government post like he dreamed (to change the system), it's the system that changed him instead. With someone from a poor background and no backing, he works hard everyday and is rarely home because he has to "prove" his worth. His career is banking on how hard he works and he forgets that the reason he dreamed of this in the first place was to help advocate for better change in the Philippines and take care of his family with his wife/sweetheart.

AJ who is at the very middle of the middle class chooses the police instead, relying more on the legal system that probably would seem like a fair judge ( probably to imply his trust on the system who perhaps would be fair to him but unjust to others) and his focus on the social aspect of it, aka how other people would perceive what happened. The middlest middle class whose position on the pyramid is dependent on how others perceive you hits too hard for AJ who becomes a successful businessman. He gets a wife, knowing full well that she would simply be a decoration for him to keep appearances, as he is in fact gay. AJ might know some people here and there but to primarily keep his connections, he has to look the part and in exchange for that, he hurts his wife and continues to hide who he truly is.

And God, Hector, this fucking bastard, I hate him but he represents the Upper Middle Class rhetoric so well. Hector tells everyone to keep quiet, to not do anything, overglorifying Joy's trauma and hardship as her being strong. And that speaks so much about how the upper middle class operates, how it's the upper middle class who rarely if ever listens, because although they might not be as powerful as the Filipino Oligarchs, they are pretty much the people living the "Fiipino Dream" and to keep their position, the upper middle class turns a blind eye to the suffering of the Filipino poor. Hector who had always lived comfortably chose to protect his own comfort even in the face of grave injustice. Hector makes it in life too. He's got the resources and the connections, just enough to get him a famous name as a tv director but being in the upper middle class means you still have to bow your head to those with power, to the great oligarchs who control how things go. You see Hector who is "a famous director", under the orders 'from above' has to make his series about ratings than the story itself. He has to accept people with connections into the movie because despite his position that many Filipinos dream about, he isn't exactly the omnipotent hand that can control everything.

God this musical feels so real. The characters too also just represent so much of the struggles of Filipinos, of the lapses in our society and how it continues to harm us and those around us. Please watch The Huling El Bimbo.