My Heart, Luv The Angsttt 🥹

my heart, luv the angsttt 🥹

Nothing Will Be the Same Again | Simon Ghost Riley x gn!reader

anonymous asked: hello, how are you?, could you make an imagine with simon and reader with the phrase """Stop looking at me like that." "Like what?" "Like I mean everything to you.""

summary: you're not ready for this moment, sitting with Ghost in a hospital room and sobbing your eyes out - you're not ready.

tws: death, blood

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

Nervously, you chewed and pulled the flesh from your bottom lip as you did your best not to become distracted by everything around you; by the lifeless and dull room you were packed into, throat dry and the stench of hand sanitiser clogging your already blocked nose.

You couldn't believe that it was all happening, a stinging and pounding headache at the very front, body aching as the last few sobs were ripped from the back of your throat; snot so thick on your sleeve that you could feel its cool lick against your skin, nose burning and itching from being rubbed against the coarse material of your jacket far too many times.

You could hardly see anything, it was all blurry and white when the LED lights caught your eyes. You kept begging, kept pleading, asking the guy upstairs if he could just do you one favour and not take your beloved away from you.

"Not my baby, please," you would whisper, voice raw and hoarse as you shook your head, chest aching. "Please, anyone but my baby. Please, that's all I'm asking, just not him."

You knew there would be no answer, you weren't sure if you really wanted one anyway, but that still didn't stop you from begging and pleading; you needed to put the blame on someone, needed someone to scream at so at least you could make some sense of the cruel and unjust fate you were being subjected to.

The senseless and needless heartache that made your body tremble, bottom lip quivering every second, breaths ragged; you wondered if the doctors and nurses would barge in and demand to know who you were screaming at, but that thought soon faded when you wiped your eyes and saw the condition he was in.

Strapped up to dozens of monitors, drips feeding into his arms, tubes in his nose; his eyes weren't the same, cloudy and almost entirely a greyish blue, even the whites. He wasn't telling you army jokes that made you roll your eyes, refused to eat and drink.

You knew it wouldn't be long, but you didn't want him to leave.

His breathing was ragged and quick, panting more than anything, gasping and wheezing with every single breath that he took; he was in pain, wincing and seething even though he still tried to hide it. You could hardly bear to see him like that, collapsing into the navy blue chair beside him, holding on tightly to his hand as you sniffled and wiped your nose on the knee of your jeans instead.

"Don't go," you begged softly, bottom lip quivering yet again. "Please, Simon, don't go anywhere. I can't follow you if you do."

He was weak, and he was fading fast, you could see it in his clouded eyes, in the panicked and racing breaths, in the painful way that he coughed and spluttered; when he had the strength, he could talk but it took far too much out of him to say even just one word. You didn't wonder where the team were.

Gaz, Soap, Price. They had left hours ago, when the final cracks of sunlight were still streaming through the straight and unmoving curtains; they told you that you were there if you needed anything, but none of them wanted to hang around. They knew how much you and Ghost needed to be alone, they understood.

You whimpered, grasping his hand and holding on tightly as you sniffled and swallowed thickly; your throat was sticky, and it was nearly painful to so much as try and force the words out from the back of your throat. You had known Ghost for years, his only friend from childhood, his only partner in life. You were meant to be getting married soon, everything had already been planned.

Now, he was getting ready to leave you all alone; a life without Ghost. Home wouldn't exist anymore, just a sore and weeping wound; a gash where the bed was. A stab wound where the kitchen used to be and where you used to dance together; the same kitchen where he asked you to marry him.

Flowers wouldn't be as bright without him in your life. Love songs would only make you feel resentment and anger. You wouldn't be able to drink coffee without him making him every morning. You wouldn't be able to steal his hoodies and grin when he said that you looked so much better in them than he did. The smell of his aftershave and cologne wouldn't stick to the bedsheets.

"Simon, please," you growled, hot tears streaming down your face, snot dribbling from the tip of your nose as you gently shook his hand. "Simon. Don't... don't leave me all alone."

Ghost slowly shook his head, spluttering as he coughed and struggled to sit upright. "Stop it."

"What?"

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I mean everything to you," his voice was so hoarse, every syllable was barbed wire against the roof of his mouth and the soft flesh of his throat. The taste of blood heavily on his tongue as he let out a long and hard wheeze. "Let me go, sweetheart."

You shook your head, able to feel your stomach drop and all energy fade from your body as you whimpered; he sank down against the scratchy bed and pillows, and let out a few more splutters. He was so tired. "I can't let you go... what am I gonna do without you?"

You knew what he would say if he could; that you were smart, a lot smarter than he was, and you would figure it out with time. You knew he would try and ease your pain with words of reassurance, but as you watched the last breath leave his lips, the monitor going flat and starting to drone, you knew.

You knew, more than anything, that there would be no reassurance.

Say You'll Haunt Me | Simon Ghost Riley x gn!reader

Anonymous asked: Can I request “I thought I’d fucking lost you for good for a moment” with Ghost please? Thanks

summary: he's gone, he's gone for good... or at least, that's what everyone tells you.

tws: swearing, smoking, graphic depictions and descriptions of severe injuries, blood, death

support your fanfic writers by reblogging what you read & enjoy

All of the lights were off, they had been all day as you no longer had the energy to do much anymore; the lights were off, all the doors were locked, and aside from the quiet television playing old reruns of some stupid adult animation that you didn't even look at, all was silent within the house.

The bedsheets smelled like fresh washing powder, and the blanket was still warm from the tumble dryer; the curtains had not been opened in weeks, and did well to keep the light from the street lamps out properly.

Old clothes were packed into boxes, ready to go into the attic where they would stay; they didn't smell like the bedsheets. Dishes were still piled in the sink, ready to be washed after hours of supposedly soaking; the bins were nearly full, had been for days, and were almost ready to be taken out.

But none of that really mattered, there were bigger things on your mind; sleeping alone should have come naturally, you did it often enough before you had met the love of your life, but it never really did.

Late and long nights were more than regular. The king sized bed just never seemed the same without your lover there.

You sniffled, putting the phone down as you ignored the texts from your friends; you knew that they were only trying to be kind, to help you along, but you couldn't bear the thought of speaking to anyone.

Gaz called two, three times a day. Soap called, texted, sent you voice messages. Laswell texted throughout the day. Price did his best. You didn't want to speak to them, you couldn't.

You sighed, frowning as you dragged yourself to the kitchen; you made yourself a cup of coffee, justifying it by knowing that you wouldn't sleep anyway. You lit a cigarette, knowing it might help. It was better than nothing, at least.

It was better than spending another night in a house that just wasn't a home anymore, a house that was just an open, gaping, sore wound.

It started to feel different, though, you felt like you were being watched when you turned your back; you tensed up, swallowing thickly as your heart began to thud in your chest. You could have sworn that you locked the doors, you were sure of it.

But still, something was there with you, and when you heard the harsh and heavy footsteps, you could hardly move; you just about managed to back yourself against the counter, holding onto it tightly as you listened closely.

They were getting closer, and closer, and closer until-

"Don't turn the lights on."

You knew that voice, and relaxed when you realised, even daring to smile as you laughed softly, shaking your head. "Simon, you dick! You scared me."

"Sorry…" he was just a shadow when he stepped forward, entering from the hallway as he held his hands up. "Just… don't turn the lights on."

You nodded, taking a swig from your coffee as you hummed. "What happened? They told me… Price said you'd been… y'know."

Ghost's shadowy figure shrugged, and he sighed heavily. "Doesn't matter."

You figured that he probably just didn't want to talk about it, so you shrugged as you finished your cigarette and dared to sit up on the counter. "Well, I'm glad you're home. I thought I'd fucking lost you for good for a moment."

He nodded, but didn't make his usual move to stand between your legs like he usually did when he first came home. "I missed you. I'm sorry I never said goodbye."

You furrowed your brows, tilting your head to the side. "But… you did - at, at the airport."

He shook his head. "No, I mean… forget it."

You were worried, pouting as you frowned and cleared your throat. "Simon, what's going on?"

He swallowed audibly, but when he spoke, his voice was starting to sound more and more like radio static; crackled and buzzing, broken and bumbling. "Don't worry, I just… I only came to say that I'm sorry."

"Simon," you whispered. "Please, talk to me."

He couldn't stop you when you reached for the light, and nor could he stop you when you gasped and shuddered as you looked at him; half of his jaw was missing, the exposed flesh burnt and dripping with blood and pus. His stomach had a clear hole through it, exposing his bottom two ribs and how they were cracked, how his entrails had been split and were dripping all over the floors. His eyes were white and had thick yellowish crust growing over the lids.

You trembled, taking a step back. "Si- Simon?"

"I told you not to turn the lights on," he wheezed.

You shook your head, looking at how the muscle and fat of his left arm was exposed and weeping. "Simon?"

"You shouldn't have turned the light on," he was becoming more and more unintelligible. "I have something to tell you, one last time."

You were speechless, bottom lip trembling as everything started to become a multi-coloured blur; something warm and wet was on your cheeks, but his static laced, buzzing voice was all that you could hear.

"Before I go," he hissed. "I loved you."

You wanted to scream at him, to demand an explanation for what was going on, to beg and plead for him to just tell you what the fuck had happened and why he looked like that, but by the time that you had wiped your eyes and nose, he was gone; all that was left, on the countertop next to where he had been standing, was his identification discs.

When you held them, they felt hot and nearly burned your hands; they were dented, the shape clearly that of a bullet, and your heart sank. Price had told you that they couldn't find Ghost's discs, but now you had them in your hands, and you understood what had happened, why Ghost had come back but hadn't stayed.

"Simon," you whispered, swallowing thickly. "Please haunt me again."

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eicee

1 year ago

*hugs*

aww thankyyy friend *hugs back* 😭♥️