I've Been Walking Through A World Gone Blind . // @ Kogami !
i've been walking through a world gone blind . // @ Kogami !
playing clever, isn’t he?
it’s only for a moment - a minute twitch of his hand and a perk of his brow that gives away the absurdity of makishima’s words. blindness. blindness. kogami laughs, curt and listless as he meets makishima’s gaze impassively.
“The longing for Paradise is man's longing not to be man.” he quotes, “it doesn’t make me happy that we agree on something like the stripping of man’s conviction in favor of automatized data processing.”
and of course it doesn’t. he’d left without so much as a warning to keep their guard on, after all, tossing aside his own connections for the pursuit of his own personal devil and though he isn’t precisely at Hell’s doorstep, his heart aches with sickness, hatred that’s boiled for too long, a necrosis of the heart. hoping he might see that batard’s face one more time before it all came crashing down, so he could bash it in, had suddenly turn into reality.
fuck makishima, honestly, for even bringing that up.
but it’s enough to rattle kogami’s nerves. he’s certain that he’d been searching for makishima’s face just a moment too long, desperate for a hint that remorse is foreign and that his ghostly silhouette framed in a polaroid hadn’t only existed in his darkest nightmares - the kind that haunt him at night, curled up under the sheets while sasayama’s memory breathes in the back of his mind. when the dark, oppressive silence leaves him with nothing to do but imagine blood - his, makishima’s blood - coating him like crimson rain. makishima’s eyes are clear, he notices, through the distance, through the gun’s lens and amplified only by nebulous contempt. clear and indifferent and offering more questions than answers.
kogami doesn’t lower his gun.
he’s grateful, suddenly, for the privacy that came after the chase, hiding from onlookers as though there was anything else to bury besides the corpse that he will soon make. he’s not killing time. but he doesn’t dare speak of how desperately he wanted, waited for this - how quickly his hunger was reignited when he saw makishima stumble, ragged breathing, blood-stained and snaking his way out into the empty landscape.
briefly, kogami wonders, if he’ll be disappointed in himself tomorrow, so quick to pull the trigger and shove a bullet into that pretty skull. he’s almost certain he would be as he reveled in the weight of metal in his palm, so different from how a dominator felt when his badge still meant something. the taste of gunpowder. the subtle scent of makishima’s blood in the breeze. the way his back is turned and facing him, brittle as a bird. it’s all and the same, the man in the photograph, the shadow in his memories, the man kneeling in front of him. the helping hand that skinned sasayama alive. kogami lets that consume him. he doesn’t want to think about what makishima wants. not here. not now.
“that’s all you have to say? unless you want to piss me off any more than you’ve done. then by all means, keep talking.”
@achroanimus
More Posts from Einshi and Others
chat, my cousin keeps bringing up my ex during family reunions, do i hit on his crush y/n
I have to water my own crops.
High ponytail Mukuro and long haired Hibari with piercings... （*’∀’人)
thinking about how aizen makes it seem like a complex thing that he "looks down" on everyone but when you boil down everything that he's said and done all that he really means is that he's alone. his character shares this detail with gojo and makima, the feeling of isolation that comes with the crushing weight of power that goes beyond your peers' understanding, perfectly summarized by "the night beyond the tricornered window" quote:
"…for instance, the flower is beautiful. but if you don't know the words flower and beautiful, not only will you not be able to see beauty, you can't even see the flower."
it's nearly impossible for him to properly form a bond with someone who's not even able to see him, not past him, not his power, not his reiatsu. to him the soul society existed in a reality that restricted him, a system to which he was only tolerable so long as he submitted to its rules, but once he paced close to the boundaries he's handled as a threat.
i don't think there's really any "redeemable" part about him because redemption comes with change, change is not stagnant and although he is restrained his nature can't really be changed. it's like asking a snake to cut its fangs so it can live among mice. there's no real belonging in there.
it's only among those of close-range strength to his that he might come to feel like he's among equals, the illusion of companionship and isn't that ironic? that the zanpakuto, shaped from his soul and very core, is able to shift the reality as we know it with our senses?
anyway i just think that no matter what there'll always be a divide bewteen him and others not from conscious action but the natural rejection to that which doesn't care to understand you.
❛ the only path that’s left for me is forward. ❜ ( kenjaku & teacher!geto? )
shared brain-bits let him know where @hharau’s proclivities lay. it explains the taut line of his shoulders, eyes turned dark, unbridled with fury - he wonders if geto knows, not the extent of everything but instinctively understands that what ties them together isn’t mere cursed energy but the flow of something more sinister, vicious.
by way of introduction, kenjaku had traced a single line across surgical wounds, calling for geto’s attention, smiling through bared teeth, and said: ‘ does it bother you? or why are you looking at me as though you’d seen a ghost? ’
it gained him little, all things considered, but he did always enjoy a gamble, much more so when the rewards came in floods: a glare, violent jabs and despair; anger he knows how to work with, easy to map out. he remembers farmers, their housewives, kids and their friends, all of them fell into patterns, led by their hearts and not reason and things became simpler, weaknesses poorly disguised. humanity doesn’t change: then and now, it’s all relatively the same, and suguru geto he’s come to understand more than anyone alive - the ones who mattered anyways.
it takes a moment for kenjaku to part his lips, smile fading into a displeased frown. what is that supposed to mean?
‘ ah, i see. that is exactly like you. ’ words echo, he feels something perilously close to affection, like watching a house plant grow, or a pet; it brings him closer to inspection, the way that, although their faces are copies of each other, the skin lacks blisters from rot that’s carelessly swiped away, or the pallid undertone of a body that has once been lifeless and brought back to roam about the earth. it puts a new smile on his face, lighter, but ever-present.
‘ you must pardon me but i haven’t the faintest idea what that entails. or rather, it doesn’t matter. mutations between dimensions are rare, but not impossible. the path forward you’re talking about exists solely for you, though i doubt it leads anywhere beneficial for someone who’s technically a storage of cursed energy. don’t get me wrong, it’s an excellent ability, otherwise i would not be here. ’ the gesture beckons geto to watch him, head to toe, expecting appraisal. he gets the opposite. kenjaku shrugs, tongue darts out briefly and playfully.
‘ its only drawback, i daresay, is the price that comes with it. there’s flashier deaths than self–immolation, in the literal sense or not. i suppose you’ve overcome it, for now. i’m not entirely convinced, though. ’
↪ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 . ( a series of sentence starters from season 1 of fox's sitcom , “ the mick ” . adjust phrasing as necessary . will be updated ! )
oh my god , why do you have gasoline ?!
we're fine , not that it's any of your concern .
stay out of trouble .
no , you're not coming in with me .
you're embarrassing . you embarrass me . i'm embarrassed of you .
can i bum a smoke , please ?
it's okay , i already have a dollar .
i get the sense that you're in need a lot .
i don't have a problem . you do , otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation .
what do you mean ? you invited me .
i got into yale , that doesn't mean i'm going .
the scales of justice tip in favor of the wealthy .
if we throw enough money at this thing , i'm sure it'll go away .
let's catch up in ten years when you need another loan .
i feel like we got off on the wrong foot .
i want you to come to me with boy problems . or girl problems , i don't assume .
i know you think you're pretty clever with this plan to drink me under the table , but there's two problems ... you're not , .. & you can't .
she's not dead , i can see her breathing .
i cannot count the number of times i've been ripped off a barstool & thrown in a cage .
i should probably get out of the house , yesterday kinda got away from me .
i don't like these people . but i like you .
why are we at a poor person's restaurant ?
don't touch my stuff , psycho .
no , i don't believe you . you're lying .
uh , i don't know , maybe because you're a lying bitch .
okay , look , i understand this stuff is really hard to hear .
let's just keep our voices down , okay ?
you think i care about these idiots ?
what is wrong with you ? you're making a scene .
how's that for a scene ?! dinner & a show !
i know what you're up to , & you're not gonna get away with it .
i'm sorry , you think you're in charge ?
once all this is gone , all that's left is this . & nobody wants just this .
wait , wait , wait ! i'm coming with you !
i will only go if i have your blessing .
if you need anything at all , do not hesitate to call 911 .
[ name ] , my beautiful angel !
i heard about that little accident you had .
so , this is it ! home sweet home .
holy crap , you're alive ...
what are you doing here ? are you living at my place ?
okay , i'm sensing some major hostility here .
i thought you were dead !
don't pay attention to him , he's no one .
— i'm just kidding ! oh , i'm so sorry , your face ...
no ... you're joking — this is a joke , right ?
i'm gonna go freshen up , this'll be fun !
my legs are heavy , but my mind is light ...
wait , why is my window open ?
do i look like i'm playing games ?
we both burnt that bridge , it doesn't matter who lit the match .
i need you to do me a favor , i did you a favor .
oh , thank god you're here . you've gotta help us .
oh , i'm not going anywhere .
what do you want me to do about it ?
knock - knock ... can i come in ?
oh ... i get it . you're jealous .
enough with the guessing games , i'm freaking out over here .
fine . i'll fix this myself .
i thought we agreed i'm the boss ?!
if you saw my silence as agreeing with you , that's on you .
don't take it personally , his heart just isn't for sale .
not now , [ name ] , i'm gloating .
[ name ] ?! since when do you smoke ?
HEY .. !! [ name ] . just the person i wanted to see .
i haven't gone this long without a smoke in years .
either be part of the solution or get the hell out .
well , now i feel like you're lying .
regardless of how we got here , i'm having a really good time .
is it ? is it creepy to be ahead of everybody at all times ?
i want to squeeze you around your neck until you can't breathe .
i said that forever ago when i was young and dumb .
if i were you , i would take this opportunity to lay low .
that's the opposite of what i just suggested .
[ name ] , you've been overruled .
i don't mean to offend you , you don't fit the [ surname ] brand .
it's already happening , we're becoming socially radioactive .
i'm sorry , that night is a blur of bad pinot and intolerable conversation .
oh , so you're a liar too ?
i was sitting at home , and then i remembered you're not my boss .
what's the matter ? little plan didn't work ?
ni hao fine shyt
he only grins, a single finger pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he gives the other man a pointed look. " won't your boyfriend get jealous? not that he has to know, but it's just an observation. "
@hourdive
satoru could decide to ignore the sarcasm in her voice, but something about ending the exchange that way felt more pleasing — to his ego anyways.
‘ these don’t come for free, you know? ’ to emphasize his words, a finger flies up to his forehead, tapping the surface twice.
what curse had befallen them, satoru wasn’t sure of. but it’s unequivocal that something in the air shifted since that time, when twos changed into ones and the empty space by his side bared its fangs right at him like a cheshire smile. the memory of it haunted him, the lashing out, the refusal to admit that there was nothing he could’ve done to prevent it, that even if she’d spoken the words before everything came crumbling down his hands alone wouldn’t be enough to sustain the damage: suguru’s back, swallowed by the crowd, lost among the dark shapes and beyond where satoru could reach.
since that time…
and maybe before that, too, because he’s never known how to handle her.
he could hear the engines working inside the vending machine. through the blindfold, there’s hardly anything that he can see but he imagines what it’d be like: fluorescent lights snaking around their shapes, eyes that gaze straight at him as they’d always done, unafraid, unyielding. that is strength, too. his thumb presses lightly at the rim of his soda can, traces along the rim, ‘ sorry, sorry. i didn’t mean anything bad by it. just a thought. we haven’t always met eye to eye — no pun intended, so it’s hard to tell what’s exactly going through that mind of yours.’
he follows up with a lighter tone, hoping to divert the attention from the pulsing tension building up his spine since the question left his mouth. ‘ don’t think too hard about it, unmei-chan, ’ a smile, wide and amused. returning the favor is polite, even more so when he was so kindly addressed by her.
@einshi's gojo satoru & the fate / prompted
❝ are you afraid of me? or of yourself? ❞
𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. and this is exactrly why it's all so scary — or rather, should be, if something wasn't wrong with and within her — the lack of response for things considered fear inducing, whether unnerving by nature or happening at random. startled? of course unmei will be if something jumps in front of her face, but that's the best there is and ever will be, or so she thinks.
should she share that with satoru, though? besides, how can she be scared of anything, ever, with the strongest sorcerer as her ally? if their allyship ever comes to an end, too, she's oh so safe — geto on the loose, his activity well - known within religious communities, untouched by gojo's hand.
❝ you speak as if i already am afraid of something ; as if there were only two choices, too, ❞ the younger muses, tilting her head, more than likely reading between the lines. no sarcastic remarks follow, & she scoots closer, teetering on the edge of infinity.
❝ something on your mind, satoru - senpai? ❞
the honorific is spoken so innocently, hopefully feeding the other's ego enough to hear the reason behind his inquiry.
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