｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅My Peculiarity｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

gonna post about my OC loop tomorrow!! Currently finishing up making their lil mood boards first so you guys can have visuals

I’m thinking I’ll start with introducing the world/loop itself and then get into oc’s 🤔

one of my other favorite hyperfixations 🩷🙏

(I totally don’t have an EAH DR 🤭🤫🫶)

IM SOBBING

I MISS MY KIDS WTF (not my actual kids but like I basically adopted Claire and Olive frfr, they aren’t just like little sisters they are my children 😔😭)

I saw the sweetest edit of Claire and I’m dying, I forgot how sweet she kind and head strong she is and how much I miss her hugs and the way she would run into my arms

I miss my dear Olive and her toothy grin and her never ending optimism, I miss how she would grab my hand and drag me around the house or playing hide and seek

I miss my DR family so much, like I need them more than ever right now (I almost went to the hospital today and all I could think of was Miss P stroking my hair while humming and Bronwyn holding me in a bear hug and Horace brewing me some tea and frickin Enoch telling me facts about cars bc he doesn’t know how to help and Fiona bringing me flowers with Hugh and Millard reading me Shakespearean sonnets and Emma heating blankets for me and Olive and Claire bringing their plushies for me to cuddle with, like the level of comfort they provide and love they bring makes me cry, they are truly my chosen family)

I’ll be back I’m gonna go sob to more edits of my family 😭

I have never related to a post more than now :[

Like I NEED my wings back, I use them for EVERYTHING in my MPHFPC DR

like I would wrap myself up in them when I was cold in the morning, I would carry my friends and take flights at night, just the feeling of my feathers ground me, but without them I feel so trapped

don’t even get me started on the feeling of freedom; being able to fly and feel the wind whip against my face

in my CR I can barely walk in a straight line without tripping(I have a condition where my left leg turns inward when I walk, so I stumble a lot and have to wear specific foot wear to walk straight), my wings made me balanced and I feel so confident with them, yet here I feel foreign and bare

It’s like a phantom limb to me, I instinctively reach for my wings to mindlessly stroke my feathers, or when I’m cold while waiting for the bus all I want is to wrap up in them

ugh I miss it so much :[ I’m so happy I can shift 😭🫶

It's like I can physically feel my wings and horns even tho they aren't here in this reality. It hurts so bad, I can't wait to get there. I niw understand Maleficent's pain when she lost her wings, but with me it's that I can't get them even tho I'm trying so hard :"(

Angst early in the morning? Sign me up!

TW: talk of death, coping skills, grief, difficulty

The immediate life after Victor died:

We were all in shock, especially Wyn, and that resulted in us being completely nonverbal for about a month and a half. All that was heard in our home were wails and sniffling, and I would often wake up to Wyn, Olive, and Claire curled up to me on my bed with my cats.

It was awful.

Everyone wore mourning clothes for 3-4 years after, but Miss P still wears them in respect, and also the fact I know she hasn't gotten over it. I don't think any of us have

I remember Fiona and Hugh taking care of his side of the garden and bringing him fresh flowers to his room each day

Enoch had passed out multiple times a week of exhaustion from overusing his peculiarity, everyone, especially Bronwyn, begged him to revive Vic for even just a moment.

Horace sewed Victor a 7-day wardrobe completely by himself, and Miss P would change his clothes each day (while she sobbed, seeing her like that broke me, I would hold her tightly to help)

Olive and Claire wouldn't leave each other's side, every moment they spent together because of the fear they had of losing more family

Millard made an entire biography on Victor's life and keeps it by Vic's bedside table

Emma was very aggressive, she would burn down trees and scream a lot (outside of the house), part of her was having a difficult time knowing the truth of their lives and the loss of our dear friend

Miss P wouldn't allow me to run errands for her outside the loop for a while after that, she was completely terrified of losing anyone else

She became so overprotective that she would scan the house all hours of the day & night, as an ymbryne it is common to only have 2 hours of sleep, but even she was pushing it to 30 minutes.

I would consistently try to use my feathers to save him, I was so distraught that I would end up turning back to dust once a week from using all of my feathers. By the 10th time I had "dusted" (I use this term for when I turn into ash as a pheonix and then revive after another 24 hours) Miss P begged me to stop because it was starting to hurt me even more

What brought me to creating this post was the dream I had last night; it was during the 3-4 years we had spent mourning, in the dream I awoke next to Victor lying in his bed, I was bent over myself, clutching feathers, when Bronwyn and Enoch came in to carry me off to my bed, and then I woke up from the dream crying.

OC loop??

Would yall be interested in my OC loop that I created??? It’s based off of real people so I’d be using fake names for them (anonymity just for safety purposes) but I made a ton of lore for it and honestly need to spew my guts out somewhere since my friends IRL don’t read MPHFPC or have much interest in it (besides my bestie, thank the birds for her 😭🙏)

so uh yea! Lmk if you wanna hear about it :>

(OH ALSO I SHIFT THERE)

Saw this on TikTok I put it in mine

(TW:venting)

I’m so tired, like so dead tired right now

I’ve gotten sick 3 times in the last 3 months, barely gotten any rest from it because my family somehow always throws endless tasks at me whenever I end up sick, and I’m not allowed to miss school either so I never end up fully recovering

I’ve had 35-40 nose bleeds in the span of 3 weeks, now I have to go to an ENT specialist to find out if I have to get cauterized, which is extremely painful

I keep having my own personal doubts about myself and my own insecurities, like whether I’m good enough, or if me friends actually care for me, etc

I don’t like going deep into my personal life, especially with my family, it’s a very complicated life with them but I love them so dearly that I feel so guilty whenever I feel upset with them

it’s so loud here, every little sound and movement ticks me off, I have an endless migraine and I’m sick of the school nurses looking at me with pity or thinking I’m lying to get out of class

and I’m so fucking sick and tired and being treated like I’m stupid. I’m in all honor classes, I learned how to be a therapist for my family when I was younger than fucking 5, I basically raised my older brother, I work so hard. And then people treat me like I’m stupid in the areas I’m actually working and doing well in, like I don’t know anything. Like I’m a stupid little girl in their eyes and I hate it.

when I finally shut down and tell people how I feel, they laugh and think I’m overreacting or that it doesn’t matter, that everything will be okay

and not everything has been okay, but I’m so thankful for the things that are. I’m thankful for my best friends, my absolutely amazing boyfriend, and family even though they have their problems, my school and my education, my hope in my health getting better, and especially shifting. There are so many good things going on in my life but when I get like this all I can focus on are the bad and negative and the pain and hurt.

I just want to sleep, I just want to rest, I just want to go home, I want to be with my found family, I miss my mom, I miss my waiting room, I miss my pets, I miss them so bad

I almost shifted today, I took a nap and the second before my alarm went off to go to theater I saw my waiting room and almost started balling tears.

that moment made me realize how much I need to be home right now, I need to rest, I need to breathe.

to whomever took the time to read this, I appreciate you for hearing me. I don’t get to express my emotions much, but I appreciate you

take care of yourself, and whomever you are, I love you, you deserve love, and if you feel like how I’m feeling right now, you deserve it all the more <3

Thank you, and good night <3

Hello dears! 🇵🇸🍉🙏I am asking you to support my campaign to help me reach my goal. I am in dire need of your support now to help me stay alive and safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place both in terms of living and lives. The family consists of 12 members, most of them are young children. I need your financial support to enable me to get the basic needs for my family until the Rafah crossing is😭 reopened to transport my family to safety and peace. Please help a family stay alive through your small donations or through your shares to others. Thank you very much for standing by those in need.🍉🙏⬇️🍓

Happy 11/11 everyone!!!

It's 11-11-24 today!!!

First, thank you to all veterans who have put their lives into protecting us. We love you all so dearly and thank you for your service. Without you, I am unsure of how our lives would be today.

Secondly, as today is quite literally an angel number, I will put a lot of effort into shifting today.

I woke up unable to breathe and couldn't stop coughing, so any of my plans for the day were put on hold as I rested to get back to my original self.

So now I sit here typing this while cuddled into soft blankets and plushies with some subliminals playing in the background.

I will be finishing my MPHFPC script while watching the movie and rereading some of the books, I am making a big change to my script which I am excited about so hopefully I can keep my motivation up!

I hope all of you have a lovely day and happy shifting to you all <3