Having Friends Is Literally Just Like Hey I Drew This For U (i Love You) I Just Found A Batshit Insane

one thing that continually surprises? frustrates? me abt having a stable enough life, being not suicidal Anymore is that sometimes I Am again. not in that Means Plans Intent trifecta. Just. a piece of me starts saying "you should kill yourself."

and it's wailing and crying and like when you're responsible for a baby suddenly wailing and crying I can't just Shush it. it's expressing some need that isn't met, some stressor that's overwhelming, some desire for Escape and an Out. but wailing and crying and saying "you shouldn't be alive" because that's what it knows

so I have to gently, exasperatedly, still hearing those chants of "just die, it's easier, disappear", feed and water and care for this baby. give it toys. take it on a walk. wait for those hiccuping sobs to turn to quiet sighs.

then maybe get an answer. what happened. what's gone wrong. the baby didn't like "my friends don't want to go to this thing with me and I'm taking it as a Rejection of wanting to spend time w me" and also "I woke up late and missed a little event I was looking forward to and blame myself because I played video games late into the night when I Shouldn't Have and Knew Better" and maybe "I'm pissed off that I have to go to a Work Event on the Weekend with really unclear expectations when I'd rather be doing something fun" plus "I'm feeling sensitive bc a podcast I listened to hours ago talked abt a way of thinking that is Triggering [for specific reasons] and I might've been mildly dissociating for the better part of this evening"

and parse it out. Okay. I get it. you feel lonely and overtaxed and uncertain about the future and blame yourself for issues now but with the moral valence of [specifics redacted]. also this has caused a fair bit of pain flare.

then your sad, wounded, tired shell has to make a life worth living out of this. and life is worth living, and it will be, and these are now problems you can work on and share honestly with people who care about you and find different ways of balancing your time and energy and give yourself a little treat and connect with something you enjoy

and you're not going to kill yourself. you'll make things better. but it's still tiring.

my bloody beloved ❤️🩸

even dark urge episodes can be romantic~

where'd that horse girl lae'zel truther post go

edit: a sequel has manifested

still haven't seen this version

there's this split second part of the Coin/Snow assassination scene where Katniss is being dragged away and has sort of a blank/shocked look in her eyes but also has the tiniest little smile and I LOVE IT. And of course Donald Sutherland's deranged expression is impeccable so I included that too. <3

Does you fem!staeve also have bushy body hair? 👀

Less body hair but still there

Give me more coins, soldier! Give me all of them!I feel incredible!! 🔥

Finally tried my hand at drawing Jinx from Arcane! 👻 This was a very spur of the moment pose/idea but I’m decently happy with how it came out. I’ve been kind of struggling when it comes to my painting technique lately because I love the look of soft rendering but I also really enjoy the hard edges and lines with this kind of style. You’ll probably see me go back and forth between the two a lot 😅 I hope you guys like this piece as much as I do!