Just a few suggestions. You shouldn’t have to compromise your writing style and voice with any of these, and some situations and scenes might demand some stiff or jerky writing to better convey emotion and immersion. I am not the first to come up with these, just circulating them again.
This is an example paragraph. You might see this generated from AI. I can’t help but read this in a robotic voice. It’s very flat and undynamic. No matter what the words are, it will be boring. It’s boring because you don’t think in stiff sentences. Comedians don’t tell jokes in stiff sentences. We don’t tell campfire stories in stiff sentences. These often lack flow between points, too.
So funnily enough, I had to sit through 87k words of a “romance” written just like this. It was stiff, janky, and very unpoetic. Which is fine, the author didn’t tell me it was erotica. It just felt like an old lady narrator, like Old Rose from Titanic telling the audience decades after the fact instead of living it right in the moment. It was in first person pov, too, which just made it worse. To be able to write something so explicit and yet so un-titillating was a talent. Like, beginner fanfic smut writers at least do it with enthusiasm.
You got three options, pre-, mid-, and post-tags.
Leader said, “this is a pre-dialogue tag.”
“This,” Lancer said, “is a mid-dialogue tag.”
“This is a post-dialogue tag,” Heart said.
Pre and Post have about the same effect but mid-tags do a lot of heavy lifting.
They help break up long paragraphs of dialogue that are jank to look at
They give you pauses for ~dramatic effect~
They prompt you to provide some other action, introspection, or scene descriptor with the tag. *don't forget that if you're continuing the sentence as if the tag wasn't there, not to capitalize the first word after the tag. Capitalize if the tag breaks up two complete sentences, not if it interrupts a single sentence.
It also looks better along the lefthand margin when you don’t start every paragraph with either the same character name, the same pronouns, or the same “ as it reads more natural and organic.
General rule of thumb is that action scenes demand quick exchanges, short paragraphs, and very lean descriptors. Action scenes are where you put your juicy verbs to use and cut as many adverbs as you can. But regardless of if you’re in first person, second person, or third person limited, you can let the mood of the narrator bleed out into their narration.
Like, in horror, you can use a lot of onomatopoeia.
Drip Drip Drip
Or let the narration become jerky and unfocused and less strict in punctuation and maybe even a couple run-on sentences as your character struggles to think or catch their breath and is getting very overwhelmed.
You can toss out some grammar rules, too and get more poetic.
Warm breath tickles the back of her neck. It rattles, a quiet, soggy, rasp. She shivers. If she doesn’t look, it’s not there. If she doesn’t look, it’s not there. Sweat beads at her temple. Her heart thunders in her chest. Ba-bump-ba-bump-ba-bump-ba- It moves on, leaving a void of cold behind. She uncurls her fists, fingers achy and palms stinging from her nails. It’s gone.
The amount of times I have been faced with giant blocks of dialogue with zero tags, zero emotions, just speech on a page like they’re notecards to be read on a stage is higher than I expected. Don’t forget that though you may know exactly how your dialogue sounds in your head, your readers don’t. They need dialogue tags to pick up on things like tone, specifically for sarcasm and sincerity, whether a character is joking or hurt or happy.
If you’ve written a block of text (usually exposition or backstory stuff) that’s longer than 50 words, figure out a way to trim it. No matter what, break it up into multiple sections and fill in those breaks with important narrative that reflects the narrator’s feelings on what they’re saying and whoever they’re speaking to’s reaction to the words being said. Otherwise it’s meaningless.
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Hope this helps anyone struggling! Now get writing.
Ha so this is all going to take some explaining, enjoy a little essay behind my thought process and uh, what exactly went down
And first thing first, I promise this timeline will be safe!
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So back in.. I want to say early April? I had an idea. What if Little Leo there grew up, only to have to care for yet another Little Leo. I thought the idea was stupid yeah? Very far fetched very out there so I just sorta let the thought loom.
However the thoughts never really left and kept getting stronger. So I began thinking, what would cause a second apocalypse that would cause that Leo to go back in time once more?
I could have done the Kraang, but that option just felt very overly done to me..? A bit too boring? Many other people have explored possibilities with the Kraang wayyy better than I ever could. I wanted something a bit different.
So one day in the middle of the night I shot up with, an idea, the goddamn goopy thing. Perfect.
More of what exactly what went down in that whole area will be explored later in the week! (tomorrow and wednesday...)
Anyways so cool! Apocalypse 2! I figured I could get away with showing the same amount of detail of the apocalypse as the movie had. If the movie got away with just 4 minutes of the apocalypse and some crew member info, then I could get away with a chunk of a comic.
Though if you do want a better idea of what that whole apocalypse was like, feel free to ask! Theres no way im drawing all of what happened in comic form.... I also recommend this video for an idea of what the whole ordeal looked like!
As for how Leo managed to go back in time through Mikey, mannnn did that scene go through so many drafts in my head. At one point I was considering making a new "Casey Jones" character to sorta rewrite the movie but have it end all the same, though that just was a bit out of my skill/character range, so I went with the most easy option for me. Mikey did a little bit of a portal interference, therefore I did not have to rewrite anything about the movie! And by rewrite I mean make a whole tiring comic-
But yeah, if you have questions you are so free to let me know!
Donnie!
Some random Lu Guang icons
he’s a sk8r boy
dt: @/theastroghost and all the leo lovers out there
doodling while my immune system wages war
Leo's references are finally here!!
CW: Blood, face injury/ scars
I completely forgot about these files I did a while back in April/May. It was supposed to be a sequence of 4 drawings (but I lost motivation for the other 2 lol) of some Leo angst/comfort. I'm still proud of these drawings in a sense and I think it shows how much I've improved. I don't even use this brush anymore lol. There's not much I would change about it them except some of the line art and placement/removal of things.
Light practice I did 2 months-ish ago
Rottmnt >< He/She >< 🇬🇧🇧🇩 >< No.1 Procrastinator
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