Calling Such Behavior A Guaranteed Indicator Of Severe Underlying Derangement, A Report Published Tuesday

Calling such behavior a guaranteed indicator of severe underlying derangement, a report published Tuesday by researchers at Tufts University confirmed that any person who really, truly likes a politician is batshit insane. “Our findings established a conclusive link between experiencing genuine fondness for a political figure and being a fucking lunatic,” said the report’s lead author Dr. Rachel Strathmore, who urged anyone who had ever felt inspired by a politician, or worse, owned an article of clothing with a politician’s face on it, to immediately seek professional mental help.

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